by Lee, M. A.
* * *
Two weeks after that my freakout at the event and my offer to work with Melanie, I was sitting at my computer getting ready to check my emails. I found one that had a subject line that read: Urgent for Meghan.
Hoping it wasn’t something about my article with Melanie, I quickly clicked on the email. To my surprise, it was not at all what I would have guessed.
Meghan,
I haven’t been able to forget about our meeting two weeks ago at the gala. I hope that I didn’t do anything to offend you. I also hope that you aren’t upset that I obtained your email. Remember, I was a SEAL. I have ways of learning things about people.
I would love to get a chance to talk to you again, and maybe this time, you can stay for an entire drink.
Just let me know,
Ryder.
I read over the email again and I could feel a smile appearing on my face. While his email came off a little strong, he was definitely charming. Biting my lip, my fingers hovered over the keyboard as I struggled with whether or not to respond. It was funny, too, because he had no idea I would have a part in the article about him.
“What are you smiling at?” Kristen asked, sneaking up on me, and scaring me to death.
Jumping, I quickly tried to exit out of the email, but I wasn’t fast enough. Kristen moved swiftly behind my desk and read the email while I acted like a fumbling mess.
“Meg, he is totally into you,” she cooed.
Rolling my eyes, I tried to laugh it off. “He doesn’t even know me,” I argued.
“Not yet. But he clearly wants to know you,” she said, raising her eyebrows at me as she smirked.
“I don’t know,” I sighed.
“Go out with him, it will be good for you,” Kristen said, patting me on the shoulder before leaving me alone again.
I read the email three more times before finally deciding to respond. I at least owed him an explanation.
Ryder,
Thank you for the kind email. I do have to apologize for running out, I was feeling ill and didn’t want anyone to see me in that state. I hope you weren’t offended. As for a drink, I must decline. I am not in a place in my life for dating. But, I have a feeling we will get a chance to talk soon...
All my best,
Meghan
I hit send before I could chicken out and erase the entire message. I quickly went back to work, but it wasn’t ten minutes later that I saw an email notification appear. Opening my email again, I almost laughed out loud when I saw a response from Ryder. Now I knew I was playing with the devil as I began to read over his words.
Meghan,
I am sorry to hear you weren’t feeling well. Now that I know it wasn’t me that repulsed you, I can sleep better at night. However, I am still adamant about that drink. And, by the way, who said anything about a date? I just wanted to see you finish an entire drink. I am intrigued by your mysterious comment about us speaking soon. Are you flirting with me?
All my best,
Ryder
This time, I chuckled to myself. He was witty and cunning, something I knew far too well that could lead to trouble. Wade was always flirty and made me laugh, that was what made me fall in love with him. I couldn’t go down that path again. Realizing if I responded again, I would only be jumping down the rabbit hole willingly. So, I erased the email and spent the rest of the day trying to pretend like the exchange never happened.
Chapter Nine
Ryder,
I can assure you that I am fully capable of finishing a drink on my own. But, if you insist on seeing this for yourself, maybe we could find time in the distant future to get a drink. For now, I just don’t have time, I am busy working on a feature article for our monthly magazine. Something about navy SEALS joining a security company. I doubt you would know anything about that. And, no, I was not flirting with you.
-Meghan
I sat back in my chair, reading over the email exchange with Meghan when I saw my buddy, Matt enters the office.
“What’s going on?” I asked, closing out my email.
If any of the guys here got wind of those emails, I would never hear the end of their shit-talking.
“We got a new contract,” Matt said, sitting down in a chair across from me. He ran a hand through his curly blonde hair. Ladies loved Matt. He had that sweet baby face and piercing blue eyes that chicks went nuts over. Bad thing was, he was a cocky little bastard because of it. Still, I couldn’t help but like the guy.
At Cole Security Forces, we each had a small cubicle with a desk and computer. None of us needed or wanted anything fancy, so this did the job just fine.
“Really? I just closed my emails, didn’t see anything,” I stated.
However, what I failed to mention was that I had been busy flirting with the hot girl from the publishing company that was featuring us for a story. If the email had come through, there was no way I would have known.
“Oh, well this one is going to be big money for the company. Turns out, that charity event really helped boost business. We just got a contract with the Port of San Diego. Apparently, they have had some issues with drug runners shipping their products into the city using the ports. They need security there to watch for anything suspicious and when needed, check out the cargo.”
“Don’t they already have security for that?” I asked.
The Port of San Diego was a huge port and brought in hundreds of ships daily.
“Yes, but they need our force to come in more as undercover agents. They believe there might be rats on the inside letting in the drugs and stolen goods,” Matt added.
Nodding my head, I folded my hands together. So that was what we would be doing. Of course, there was always a rat. My job was to sniff out that rat.
Smiling, I looked at Matt. “Sounds like a great way to get some target practice in, too,” I laughed.
Matt just shook his head at me. “You are a sick son of a bitch,” he laughed.
“Tell me about it.”
Chapter Ten
Over the next week, I tried to ignore emails as they came daily. I had to give Ryder credit, he was persistent. Even after I had turned down his offer for drinks, he didn’t stop with the emails. Sometimes, he would ask me how my day was going, or at other times, he would ask me about my favorite drink. Either way, it was becoming part of my daily routine to exchange emails with him. It was sort of fun, if I was being honest.
I was busy finishing up edits on a young adult novel when I heard a ping from my computer, alerting me to an email.
Butterflies danced in my stomach as I went to open the email. Part of me hated how excited I felt when I heard that sound. I hopelessly prayed it was Ryder, but at the same time, I also wished it wouldn't be.
Guys like Ryder just couldn’t exist in my life right now. He was like the fun, bad boys that you read about in romance novels. It was exciting from the outside, but getting involved could never be an option. I needed to focus on me and my life-- love after Wade just didn’t seem right or possible.
But, maybe I could have just a little harmless fun. Right?
Meghan,
So on my walk to work this morning, I saw a little girl dressed up like a princess. Since you work in publishing, you obviously like books. Possibly even princess fairytales. It got me thinking; did you ever want to be a princess? If so, which one?
Ryder
Now, this was new. I sat back in my chair and bit my lip. For some reason, knowing that Ryder saw that little girl and instantly thought of me, had my heart swelling inside of my chest. My cheeks blushed, even though he was nowhere around me right now. Placing my fingers on the keyboard, I began to type out my response, a sly smile playing on my lips.
Ryder,
I find it amusing that you were so interested in a princess. Maybe you wanted to be a princess? For me, I was more into Jasmine from Aladdin. She wasn’t your typical princess. And yes, I love to read and write.
-Meghan
After se
nding the email, I went back to work. It was hard not to constantly check my emails, thinking I possibly missed the ping. Finally, after a few minutes, I heard that sound that caused my heart to leap.
Meghan,
I can assure you, the term princess would never suit me. Prince Charming has a nice ring to it. I can absolutely see you as a Jasmine. She may not be typical, because she was by far the most beautiful. However, at first, I had you pegged as Cinderella, you know because of the whole running out at midnight thing…
Ryder
His response had me chuckling. He sure knew his Disney princesses. I couldn’t help but shoot off one last response. I knew I needed to focus on work. I never got distracted. Again, another reason why flirting with Ryder was probably not healthy for me.
Ryder,
I have to admit, I am very impressed with your Disney knowledge. Now, I must get back to work. This was why I said I didn’t date. Guys like you could really distract me.
-Meghan
I hit send before I knew what I was doing. I had just admitted to Ryder that he was, in fact, distracting me. Who was I kidding? I stared at him like some lovesick teenage girl the first time I saw him. I was sure he knew he distracted me. But, I couldn’t go down that road. As much as it pained me, I would have to let these exchanges go.
Moving my cursor, I deleted all of the emails. Getting back to work, I was surprised when a tear raced down my cheek.
Chapter Eleven
It had been two days since Meghan replied to any of my emails. It was fucking with my mind. Even sitting in my meeting today, listening to our roles and responsibilities at the Port of San Diego, I couldn’t help but keep checking the email on my phone.
I had already received and replied to two emails from Melanie, the owner of MLA Publishing. Meghan’s name was attached to the emails, but yet, she never replied.
I wasn’t ready to let her go. She wasn’t even mine, yet, I craved to hear from her.
“Hey, what’s going on with you?” Matt asked, as he leaned over and whispered so no one else would hear.
I quickly put my phone back in my pocket and glanced at Matt. “Nothing, just checking my emails,” I replied.
“Bullshit,” he said, shaking his head.
I don’t know what has overcome me, but I couldn’t let my head get this twisted right now. We had been briefed earlier this morning and it had been declared that there was definitely a rat working at the Port of San Diego. Someone was giving clearance and looking the other way to shipments containing illegal products. Apparently, there was a huge criminal organization that was bringing in stolen artifacts that equaled in the millions, that also housed drugs that would be transported all over the United States from Mexico.
Now that I was finally listening again, I felt my jaw clench as I heard about the deceit that was taking place right here in our city. I hated a rat and a traitor on the inside wasn’t something that Cole Security Forces wasn’t accustomed to. Not long ago, someone within Jackson’s own group had placed his men in danger. We couldn’t let this go. We had a job to do and damn it, we would take care of those that were enemies to their own.
By noon, our meeting had wrapped up and I was given my task for tomorrow. In the morning, I would make my way to the Port of San Diego and work undercover as a security guard.
As I made my way back to my desk, I found myself more than eager to check my email. I was beyond frustrated that Meghan hadn’t replied back to me. So, even though I probably sounded desperate, I did something I knew I shouldn’t, I sent her an email.
Meghan,
I hope you don’t consider me a stalker...yet. I have to admit, I looked forward to our daily email exchanges. I hope you are doing well. How do you feel about the beach?
Lost and confused,
Ryder
I hit send and then sat back, rubbing my jaw as I re-read the email a hundred times. Each time I read, I detested the words. I sounded more like some crazed loser than a man hopelessly wanting to get to know a beautiful woman. If I hadn’t scared her away before, I definitely did now.
Shutting down my computer, I realized I couldn’t sit around and wallow in my own misery any longer. I was a man of action. If I wanted Meghan, then I would just have to go get her myself. I was on a mission now.
Chapter Twelve
As a little girl, all I ever dreamed about was finding my prince charming and riding off in the sunset after our fairytale wedding. However, my fairytale became more of a ghoulish nightmare. Now, I was left alone without my prince, and the thought of finding love again terrified me to my very core. Being loved and admired was something I had taken for granted with Wade. At the time, he cherished me and treated me like I was a priceless gift. Now, without him, I found myself craving his affection and desiring to just hear his voice one last time.
What would Wade think of my current predicament? Would he be ashamed of me for shamelessly flirting and leading a man on? Or, would he be happy that I was moving on-- which I totally wasn’t. I sit back in my comfy chair and close my eyes. At times, when I try really hard, I can still see his smile and hear his voice when he would say my name. A shudder raced down my spine and I instantly jump, scaring myself.
Was that a sign that what I am doing is wrong? Shit, I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I had believed that love would never fail, but love had failed me and Wade. It was gone and honestly, I don’t think I will ever find something like that again. I know I should pull away from my computer right now. I should just ignore the email, and forget I ever read his words. But, I can’t.
I hate this dangerous game I am playing with myself. I know what Kirsten and Stacey would say; go for it! You are young and single, Wade would want this for you. Regardless if they are right or wrong, my own heart can’t take the pain of trying to replace Wade. Everyone else now was a stranger, they just don’t matter as he did.
Chewing on my fingernails, I couldn’t get over the email Ryder had just sent. My mind and heart were battling and it was causing my head to ache like I was being hit with a hammer repeatedly.
Shoving away from my desk, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to get out of the office for a while. Checking the time, I realized it was past my lunch break. I needed to run away for just a few minutes. Get lost in the electricity of the busy downtown streets.
Ten minutes later, I was escaping the confines of the office building and stepping out onto the loud and busy sidewalk. Palm trees lined the walkway and the sun shined brightly in the sky. Sighing, I had never been so happy to hear cars honking and people yelling. I needed to drown out my own voice right now.
My stomach growled, telling me I needed to hurry and find something to eat. There was a taco truck that would sometimes park on this street and they had the best fajita tacos. I began to head in that direction when a sight stopped me dead in my tracks.
Standing on the corner, staring straight at me was Ryder. He had a delicious grin plastered on his chiseled face. His muscular arms crossed his massive chest like he was annoyed that he had been waiting for so long. Was he waiting for me, or was this a strange coincidence? Something told me this wasn’t by happenstance.
I walked along the sidewalk, trying to figure out what I would say. Our eyes had already locked, so I couldn’t pretend like I hadn’t seen him. In fact, this was the first time since the gala that I was seeing him in person. His face had haunted me every day since if I were being honest with myself.
As I approached him, he took the last step forward, closing the space between us.
“You must not take an early lunch?” he says, raising his eyebrows at me.
“What do you mean? How long have you been standing there?” I ask.
I eye him suspiciously. Ryder only smiles at me, there is no shame in his attempt to look like he just happened to be standing outside of the very business where I work.
“Well, I arrived around noon. I’ve been people watching for a while,” he stated.
Nodding,
I simply smirked. “Well, I need to get lunch,” I said, turning to move away from him.
Suddenly, Ryder grabbed my hand and sparks of fire shot through me. I looked down at his hand on mine, my eyes wide with confusion and excitement. I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but from the wild look on his face, he had felt it, too.
“Please don’t go, yet,” he pleads.
My breath falters and I am unsure what to say. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Realizing this, Ryder continues. “Look, I just want to take you to lunch. To talk and get to know you. I can’t get you off my mind,” he admitted. “Besides, you are working on an article about me. Might help if you really knew me outside of what you learn in the interview questions sent by Melanie.”
I felt my heart leap into my throat and I internally scolded myself for being so affected by this man.
“I was just heading to a small taco truck around the corner,” I stuttered.
“Can I come with you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I say.
We begin to walk to the small truck. After ordering our food, Ryder follows me to a small bench. We sit down and begin devouring our food. After a few minutes of silence, Ryder finally turns to me. “So, this was a pretty good idea,” he says, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
