“The guy back at your place… boyfriend?”
“No, just a friend. Of course, I’m not so sure that word describes our relationship anymore.”
He nodded.
“He acted like a jealous boyfriend which confused me.” We rode a short distance in silence. “He knew I was gay, right?”
“No,” I admitted.
“By your mood tonight, I take it the plan didn’t turn out the way you wanted.”
My head turned toward him. “What plan?”
“In my experience, when a woman who is involved with a man, goes on a date with a gay fellow, she’s either coercing a proposal out of the guy or wants to get rid of him. I’m pretty good at assessing people. You’re not the type of woman who would need to force a man to do anything.”
“Thank you, I guess.”
“So you wanted to get rid of him?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“What keeps throwing me is, how devastated you seem to be. I would have thought you’d be jumping for joy.”
Tears welled up behind my eyes. “Me too.” I paused for a moment. “I’m sorry about tonight. I didn’t mean to put you in the middle of my drama.”
“Promise you’ll let me know how it all turns out and we’re even-steven.”
I gave him a weak smile, thankful he was being so understanding.
“Speaking of steven, what’s the four-one-one on Stephan in accounting?” He winked.
For the remainder of the ride, I told him everything I knew about accounting department Stephen. That he had been with someone for a year but broke up about two months ago. Marthers was delighted with the information and I was glad his night hadn’t been a total bust.
When we pulled up to the house, I noticed Doug’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which didn’t surprise me. He’d either, not be here, or had already gone to bed. I said my goodnight to Marthers, thanked him again for understanding, and wished him good luck with his romantic endeavors.
My heart sank walking into my dark and empty house. In a very short time, I’d gotten used to the sounds of Doug reacting unabashedly to a TV show or him singing a show tune at the top of his lungs. With the only light coming from the moon shining through the stair window, I slipped out of my heels and held them as I ascended the steps.
The closer I got to Doug’s room the more my stomach churned. Standing in front of his door, I could tell the room was dark and the door was cracked. I placed my palm against the wood and pushed. Scanning the room, I discovered all of his stuff was gone. I figured Doug was with Hart and the guys licking his wounds. Convincing myself that once things cooled off, we could at least have some semblance of a friendship. It never occurred to me that he’d move out. God, am I stupid.
THE NEXT MORNING the alarm on my phone blared “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred. With my eyes still asleep, I punched the air until my palm found the device. I quickly silenced Fred, wondering when had I changed the sound of the alarm and what the hell was I thinking to change it to that ridiculous song. Then it dawned on me. I wasn’t the one who made the changes. Doug’s name was smeared all over this humorless joke.
Thinking about his name brought memories of last night flooding back. My body felt vacant until loneliness seeped into every corner. Since it was Friday, I decided that today was the perfect day to call in sick. I typed out a quick text to my assistant, Joel.
Me: Not coming in today. Cover.
Joel: Sick?
Me: Sure.
Joel: With?
Me: Hangnail.
Joel: What’s his name? :-p
Me: After you’re done laughing at that lameness, take the rest of the day off.
Joel: :)
I tossed the phone on the nightstand and pulled the comforter up over my head. I laid awake the entire night, so I dozed on and off for the next few hours, ignoring calls and text notifications.
Suddenly, I bolted upright. Panicked, I grabbed my phone and quickly scrolled through the missed calls and texts. My heart was in my throat, desperately trying to beat its way up and out. What was I thinking not answering my phone? Something could have happened to Nonnina. And here I was acting like an overdramatic teenager, hiding under the covers, pouting. Fortunately, there was nothing from or about my grandmother.
Since I was fully awake, I figured I might as well get up. I shuffled to the bathroom and did what I needed to do, including splashing water on my face, and gathering my hair into a high ponytail. I wrapped my fluffy white terrycloth robe around me and slid my feet into my hot pink booty slippers before heading downstairs.
I was midway on the stairs when I heard noises coming from the kitchen. My breath caught in my lungs, my pulse pounded, and the door to an extra-large butterfly cage opened in my stomach. He came back. This was a good sign. Maybe we could rewind our relationship and be friends. We had to find a solution at least for our friends sake. None of them deserved to be caught in the middle of the mess Doug and I created.
Inhaling a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and walked in the direction of the kitchen. I hesitated for a moment at the door, making sure the sash to my robe was tied securely and my hair didn’t look too much like a disaster. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. Immediately, my breathing normalized, my pulse slowed, and all the butterflies flew back into the cage with the door slamming shut. Bryson was standing at the stove flipping something.
“What are you doing here?” I said, obvious disappointment in my tone.
She glanced at me over her shoulder. “Good morning to you too.”
I pulled out a chair and plopped down at the table. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. But, why are you here?”
“I’ve called and texted you several times this morning with no response. I called your office and spoke with your assistant. Snarky little guy, by the way. He said you were home sick. I asked with what and his answer was hangnail.”
“Remind me to hire a new assistant.”
“Worried, I came over, let myself in, and saw you were buried under your comforter. So I decided to make you a hot breakfast.”
Tilting the pan, she slid what looked to be an omelet onto a plate. She sprinkled cheese and chopped green onions on top. On her way to the table, she picked up a mug of coffee from the Keurig, then sat both down in front of me.
“You know what they say, starve a cold, feed a hangnail,” Bryson said, taking the seat next to me.
My nose hovered over the plate and sniffed. “Smells fantastic. What’s in it?”
“Onions, garlic, tomatoes, cheese, bacon.”
A bite of omelet dangled on the end of my fork as I forced a smile.
“Yummy,” I said piercing another piece.
“Feeling better?” Bryson tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips.
I nodded as I shoved more food into my mouth.
“You know who’s not feeling good?”
“I hope it’s not your daughter or your husband.” I sipped some coffee.
“No. Both are great.”
“Parents?” I sipped more coffee.
“Picture of health.”
I put my mug down. “I’m out.”
“Sophie, don’t play dumb with me. You know I’m talking about Doug.”
“No, I didn’t. I’m not his keeper, you know.”
“He showed up at our doorstep last night with his stuff, a bag of Chinese food, and a pitiful look on his face. Currently, he has taken up residence in our home office, sleeping on the futon.”
“That’ll teach you to answer your door at night,” I said, finishing the last bit of breakfast.
“Did the two of you break up?”
I stiffened and looked at her confused. “Break up?! Are you on drugs? Newsflash! You can’t break up when you’ve never been together. Shit, Bryson. I’m astonished, and frankly offended, those words came out of your mouth. Why on earth would you accuse me of such a thing? I mean, to even suggest… I’m speechless. Completely at
a loss for words. There are no words.”
“Are you through?”
“Yes, I believe so.”
“Good. Cut the crap, Sophie.”
“There’s no crap to cut.” I paused. “Wait, did that asshole tell you and Hart something?”
“No, but you just did.” She placed her hand on top of mine. “Talk to me.”
I kept my lips glued together.
Bryson took her hand back. “Dammit, Sophie! I know about you and Doug.”
I blinked in amazement. “How?”
“The night y’all were over for dinner, I heard you in the bathroom.”
“Do you make a habit of listening to your dinner guests when they go to the bathroom?”
“We’re not talking about me,” she said.
“Why haven’t you said anything?”
“I was waiting for you to come to me.” A big grin appeared. “I think it’s great.”
“It was nothing, but a huge mistake.”
Slowly, Bryson shook her head and made an annoying tsk sound.
“I think it is a big deal and not at all a mistake. Sophie, I don’t know what’s stopping you from moving forward, but you might as well accept the fact that you have strong feelings for Doug.”
“I don’t deny I have strong feelings. Frustration, anger, disgust.”
“I’ve seen the way you look at him.”
“I was giving him the stink eye.”
“Joke all you want,” she said in a disappointed motherly tone.
“And while we’re on the subject, he’s the one who packed up and left.”
“In the relationship department, Doug is like a delicate new flower. Each morning when the sun rises, he’s drawn to the east. In the evening when the sun sets, he’s attracted to the west. He’s searching everywhere for his sun. Then, out of nowhere, a windstorm kicks up, frantically blowing him every which way. He’s rattled and confused. No one ever told him about the wind, so it knocked him off balance at first.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said deadpanned.
“You’re the wind.”
“Yeah, I got that part.”
“Listen, I know letting people in is not your forte. Do you remember when we became best friends?”
“When my parents and I moved next door to your family.”
“Nope. It wasn’t until two weeks later. At first, I thought you were bossy and stuck up.”
“I take umbrage with that characterization. If I was such a pain in the ass, why did you keep inviting me to your house?”
“I didn’t. Your mother kept sending you over.”
I held up my mug like I was making a toast. “Ah, a foreshadowing of things to come.”
She looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “Anyway, I had a cat…”
“Lady Catterley.”
“Yes. You were at my house when she died. It happened suddenly with no explanation. I was devastated. You sat next to me and held my hand while I cried my eyes out. The next morning you were over bright and early with a picture of a cat you had colored to look like Lady C. That was the day you became my best friend. You let me see the softer side of Sophie. And I’d say it turned out pretty awesome.”
“Yeah, well, that was you and we were kids.”
Bryson pushed away from the table and stood. Bending down, she placed a kiss on my forehead.
“You’re a hard nut to crack. Are you still coming for dinner Sunday?”
“Will he be there?”
“My guess would be yes.”
“Then no,” I said with confidence.
“You’ve got two days to think about it. Yoga tomorrow?”
“I’ll meet you there.”
She draped her arm around my shoulders giving me a side hug. “I love you, Sophie.”
“I love you too.”
She had taken a couple of steps when I stopped her.
“Bryson, what if I am like her?”
“You may look like her, but that’s where the similarities end.”
“How do you know for sure?”
“Because I’ve witnessed firsthand how deeply you love. You know there are no guarantees in life. But when you find your person, that leap is easy, because they’ll be there to catch you.”
Once Bryson left, my mind dragged me back to that day.
I followed her between the dresser and her suitcase.
“Momma, why can’t I go with you?”
“Sophia, I’ve explained it already. I don’t have room or time for you. But soon you can come for a visit.”
“When?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call and we can set it up.”
“What about Daddy? Don’t you love him anymore? Don’t you love me?”
She slammed her suitcase shut, then squatted in front of me so she could look me in the eye.
“Your daddy and I don’t want to live together any longer. And right now he needs you more than I do.”
She dragged her two suitcases off the bed and walked out the door.
Little did I know that would be the last time I saw my mother. She never asked for full or partial custody, she didn’t attend any school functions, and she was a no-show for my college graduation. After the divorce, Dad wasn’t much better, but at least he showed up… sometimes. He thought he hid his drinking well. He was completely oblivious to the fact that the walls in our house weren’t made of concrete. Therefore, I could hear everything he and whomever he dragged home did, day and night.
I dealt with it by becoming more closed off, detached. My motto, be like a ghost and don’t get close. I had to become completely self-sufficient, making sure I never needed or counted on another person. Excluding Bryson, of course. But somehow Doug weaseled himself into my heart. Hell, I had forgotten I even had a heart until he came along. If I were to leap and hurt him… I’d be devastated. The best thing I could do for Doug would be to let him go. I’ll just go back to focusing on the career I loved and men I couldn’t care less about.
“I SWEAR TO God, all I said was, you make me so happy. Who the fuck gets freaked out by that? It’s not as if I proposed. I’m thrilled when women call out, Oh Doug, you make me so happy.”
“You’ve had women actually say that to you during sex?” Hart said.
“Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve never really listened to any of them.”
Normally on Saturday mornings Hart and I would be playing basketball instead of hanging out in his living room. I was sprawled out on the sofa, spinning the basketball between my hands. He had the TV on mute, mindlessly flipping through the channels with one hand, while scratching Butter’s head with the other.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go meet Colin and Ronnie to play a game or two?” Hart said.
“Not in the mood. And then she chose to go with him. Can you believe that? She went with him after I poured my heart out. I was willing to have a conversation. I’m nothing if not open. I thought women liked that shit.”
“If you hadn’t acted like a baby, packed up your toys, and stomped away, you could have talked when she got home. Exactly why did you leave?”
“No way was I hanging around to hear and possibly see stuff between the two of them. You should have seen this douchebag, Hart. Every blonde hair in place, piercing blue eyes, strong jawline, and tall. Fit but not too fit. I mean, you could definitely tell he goes to the gym. He was quite handsome, actually. I’d go out with him if I swung that way.”
“College football?”
“God, I miss her. I realize it’s only been days, but it feels like weeks. I loved living there. And it wasn’t just because of the soft queen-size bed and my own bathroom.” I glanced up at him. “No offense. I appreciate y’all letting me stay here.”
“None taken. Here’s a basketball game from Yugoslavia.”
“It was having someone around. Well, not just someone. It was having Sophie around. I thought living alone was the best until I moved in with her. I’m not going to lie, we had our bu
mps in the road.”
“We all do. Ha, look at that. The Lone Ranger.”
“For example, Sophie is not a morning person. And morning time was one of my favorite times with her. Sure, she was grumpy, but damn, she was gorgeous. Don’t get me wrong, she’s gorgeous all the time. But in the morning with no makeup and her hair flying every which way, she was breathtaking.”
“Classic TV was incredibly racist.”
“Fuck, I miss her,” I bellowed.
“How about we go to the park and play some fetch with Butter?”
Hearing the words park and fetch had the yellow lab spinning in circles and wagging her tail at warp speed.
“Nah, not in the mood.”
Once Butter realized we were staying put, she sunk down to the floor and whimpered.
Hart clicked off the TV. “What are you in the mood for?” There was a sharpness to his voice.
I sat up. “Dude, are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad. I don’t want to waste the entire weekend sitting in the house listening to you moan and groan like a little girl.”
“Well, thank you very much. I didn’t realize listening to a friend whose life is crumbling before his eyes was a waste of your precious weekend.”
“You’ve had a slight setback. Be patient with Sophie. Understand what she needs from you. And do it sooner rather than later. You’re fucking up the balance of our group. If it doesn’t get resolved, one of you will have to go.”
“I have a sinking feeling I’d be the one.”
“Good. Get in touch with that feeling. Now I’m going out into the world to do manly activities.” He was poised to roll away.
I swung my legs over the edge of the sofa. “You’re just going to leave me here in my darkest hour?”
“There’s plenty of light at the park. Join me.”
“Um… Hart?”
“Douglas?”
“I might possibly have told Sophie I loved her. I didn’t mean to blurt it out. It was beyond my control.”
“That sounds about right,” Hart said.
“I need pointers. How’d you hook Bryson?”
He huffed out a loud sigh, as his hands fell away from the wheel handles. “With Bryson the falling in love part was easy and natural. We had an immediate connection. And I make sure she never doubts my feelings. You see, Sophie, is a delicate flower. She needs to know you’ll be there to take care of her. Make sure she gets enough of the right type of sun. Does she require bright light, shade, or a combination? How much water and fertilizer does she need on a daily basis? Protect her from harsh weather. Encourage her to grow and celebrate when she blooms.”
Crazy Sexy Love Page 20
