Dirty fucking girl. The contradiction of Violet Fowler turns me on like no other woman I’ve ever been with.
Fucking her deep with my fingers, I suck her clit, lash it with my tongue, gripping her hips tight so she can’t move, and I press her pussy directly on my face. Until she’s crying out, writhing and coming all over me, her entire body trembling with the force of her orgasm. My name falls from her lips, her fingers wrapped so tight around the railing headboard I’m afraid she’ll put a dent in the damn metal.
“I-I can’t take it anymore,” she says breathlessly after she climbs off of my face, collapsing in a limp heap beside me. “My entire body aches.”
“Mmm, come here.” I roll on my side and pull her to me, her back to my front, my arm banded across her stomach, her ass nestled against my semi-hard cock. “Go to sleep.”
“I don’t want to,” she protests, but she sounds sleepy and her voice softens. “I don’t want this night to end.”
I press my face against her hair and close my eyes, inhaling her scent mingled with mine, along with the heady smell of sex. I’ve done everything I can to destroy her and she wants more. More of me.
I can’t believe it.
I don’t deserve her.
But she’s mine. And no one can take her away from me.
No one.
Chapter Twenty-three
Violet
My life can be defined by certain moments where everything changed. I was almost five when my mother committed suicide and my world tipped on its side, never to be righted again. I became more responsible and took care of Rose like she was my baby, not my baby sister. And Lily took care of me.
I was fourteen the first time Lily’s face—and naked body covered with black bars across the more intimate parts of her anatomy—appeared on a popular gossip website. That was the jump start to her trying to destroy her life in any way possible. Not only destroy her life, but her relationship with our father, trashing the family name, the family business … all of it.
I became the responsible sister. Even more so.
I was nineteen when a man I’d trusted since I was a girl assaulted and tried to rape me. My testimony put him in prison for what I thought would be a long time. That moment became my family’s secret shame and in turn, it became my burden to bear. Father couldn’t handle any more scandal and though he was thankful and proud I’d fought off my assailant, he didn’t want to talk about it.
The incident was swept under the rug. Forgotten by everyone.
Except me.
Every single one of those moments redirected my life, sent it zagging left when it had been zigging right. I went with the zag, changing my direction, adapting to a new plan and always, always pushing forward the best I could.
Sometimes I failed. I backpedaled here and there, but it couldn’t be helped. After my testimony during the trial, I fell completely apart. I believed Alan had broken me. He was locked up in a jail cell and I let him haunt me for far too long. I needed to seek outside help in order to realize it wasn’t my fault. That the only one who really broke me was …
Me.
And when Zachary and I started dating, I finally believed I knew exactly what was going to happen. I had my life planned. I was in control. Marriage. Babies. The two of us together, running Fleur Cosmetics. That would be my future and I was ready for it.
Then Ryder came into my life and … rocked it. I broke up with Zachary. I fell into the arms of another man so quickly he helped erase the memory of Zachary altogether. Ryder keeps me off balance. He scares me. Thrills me. Irritates me. Arouses me. And after last night?
I don’t even know who I am anymore. All I know is that I crave him. I want him. I’m sitting in my office on a Monday morning, the ache between my legs, the bruises on my ass almost unbearable. My entire body is sore and when he left my apartment early this morning, just before dawn after he fucked me yet again, he smiled and kissed me and said four words that seared themselves into my brain.
Don’t forget you’re mine.
As if I could. If my brain didn’t remind me, my body certainly did. I have never felt so deliciously brutalized after sex before.
I’m supposed to stop by and talk to Father at nine and I’m hiding out in my office until then, scrolling through emails and answering them, adding upcoming items to my calendar. Mindless, tedious work that I hoped would keep my haunting thoughts at bay, but it’s no use.
I need to reach out to Ryder.
Opening up a new email, I start composing.
Dearest R –
It’s probably best if you destroy this email after you read it. I wanted to let you know that you’re in my thoughts. Every time I move, I feel you. What you did to me last night was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I can’t shake the words you said to me, the way you looked at me, how you touched me.
It was scary.
It was wonderful.
I want more.
You told me this morning not to forget that I’m yours and I won’t.
I can’t.
Yours,
V
I hit send before I can second-guess myself and resume my calendar search, hating the sound of the ticking clock that hangs on my wall. I feel like the quiet tick-tock is somehow sending me to my doom and I don’t know why. Unease slithers down my spine and I wish my office didn’t have all the windows. I need to find some blinds or curtains so I can close myself off.
I hate being on such blatant display. I’d rather be alone with my thoughts. Reliving what Ryder said to me. What he did to me.
“I’m a sick, twisted fuck, Violet.”
“I’m no good. Not good enough for you.”
“I don’t care.”
“You should care. You’re a good girl. So pure, so sweet.”
“I’ll fucking wreck you.”
My skin warms at the memory, washing away the unease. He could never wreck me. I won’t let him.
And I don’t believe he would ever purposely hurt me.
I have a new email and giddiness rises inside me when I see who it’s from.
My sexy V,
You invade my thoughts too. What happened last night didn’t turn out as I originally planned. I thought you would hate me for what I did to you.
Instead, I think I made you want me more. And you made me realize that …
You’re perfect for me.
All I can think about is having you naked again. Tied up and bared to me. My mouth on your skin. My cock deep inside your body. Today is going to be torture.
I think we’ll need to meet for lunch.
R.
I press my fist to my mouth to try and conceal the smile that spreads across my face, but it’s no use. I hit reply and start typing.
Lunch sounds perfect. And no appetizers, please. I’m extra hungry today.
Yours,
V
His response is immediate.
What exactly are you hungry for? Tell me, Violet.
Closing my eyes, I focus on my heartbeat, steady and true. My slow, even breathing, the ache between my legs, the ache all over my body. I know exactly what I want, but I’m a little embarrassed to say it.
He won’t let me get away with being evasive, though. He’ll want me to be honest. Bold.
Your cock.
I send off my two-word email with a little smile, hoping like crazy we both remember to delete these emails immediately because oh my God, they’re awful. Incriminating.
Fun.
Glancing at the clock, I see it’s five minutes till nine. I need to get to Father’s office but I don’t want to leave. I want to be here for Ryder’s response. I want to know what he thinks about my request.
Thankfully, Father’s office is down the hall and I won’t have to go far. I could be a little late even if I had to …
My in-box shows a new message and I open it, anticipation curling through me as I wait for it to load.
You’re a bad girl.
My b
elly flutters. He’s the one who’s bad.
Only for you.
I hit SEND.
My phone rings within thirty seconds of my sending that email and I answer it quickly, my skin warm, my body prepared to hear his deep voice sound in my ear.
“Want to do lunch today?” Rose asks.
Disappointment floods me and I slump in my seat. “I can’t,” I say weakly. “I have plans.”
“With whom? Break them. I’m your sister. I need counsel.”
Responsibility kicks in. I’m always there when Rose needs me. I can’t let her down. I never have. That’s Lily’s job. “What do you need counsel for?”
“All sorts of stuff,” Rose says evasively. “Please, Violet? We haven’t done lunch in a while and I … I need to talk to you.”
“Is everything okay?” She sounds sad. I’ve ignored her lately, chasing after my own wants and needs, and that’s not fair. I’ve always made sure I’m there for my family.
“Well, you bailed out of brunch so fast yesterday because of your so-called color emergency I didn’t get a chance to talk to you. And Lily is a terrible listener.” I can practically feel Rose roll her eyes over the phone line.
“Okay. We’ll have lunch. I’ll meet you at your office at noon. Or do you want to go a little later?” If we go later, I could possibly see Ryder for a few minutes. Just take an extended lunch. But it’s not like I can have sex with him and then go pick up Rose all rumpled and smelling of him.
God, what’s wrong with me?
“Let’s do noon. I need to get out of here.”
I hang up and shut down my computer, then head out to Father’s office. The halls are quiet, normal for an early Monday morning as everyone gets their bearings for the week. His office is at the end of the hall, opposite the small conference room, and I approach his partially open doorway, about to knock when I pause in shock at what I see.
Pilar is perched on my father’s desk directly in front of him, her legs spread, her skirt hiked up and revealing her thighs. His hands are splayed on her outer thighs, her fingers are clamped around his tie, and she’s lifting away from him as if she just …
Kissed him.
Horror and shock collide within me and I turn and run, making my quiet escape toward the elevator. Without thought I hit the button and wait, staring up at the numbers on the wall as they light up, higher and higher toward my floor … until the ding sounds and the doors swoosh open, revealing an empty car.
I hurry in and press the close door button frantically, releasing a relieved sigh when the doors shut quickly. My mind keeps replaying what I saw, looking for a mistake. I might have misunderstood, right? Was that really Pilar? And did Father really have his hands on her thighs?
Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and tilt my head back, forcing myself to face the truth. Yes. His hands were most definitely on her thighs. She was smiling at him in that obvious, sultry way of hers. She’s gone from Ryder to Zachary to my father … and who knows how many more.
I think I’m going to be sick.
The elevator takes forever, stopping at practically every floor so people—every one of them a Fleur employee—can get on and off. I nod and murmur hello to all of them, irritated when I have to make small talk, and my responses are brusque. I’m normally not so rude, but I don’t have time for this. I need … I don’t know what I need.
Yes, you do. You need Ryder.
When the elevator stops on his floor I shove my way through the small crowd and make my hurried exit, heading toward his office without saying anything to the receptionist who calls out a greeting as I pass by her desk. His door is partially open, just like my father’s, and I pause, fear making my heart race.
What if … what if he’s not alone either?
But when I peek inside, I see that he’s sitting behind his desk, leaning back in his chair and talking on the phone. He looks gorgeous. Wearing a perfectly tailored dark blue suit and crisp white shirt, a pale yellow tie knotted around his neck. He is the epitome of the sexy businessman.
And just beneath, he’s also the epitome of the pierced and tattooed bad boy. I love that he’s both. I still know so little about him, but I’m dying to find out more.
Cautiously I knock on the door and walk into his office. His startled gaze meets mine and he leans forward in his chair, ending the call with a made-up excuse and hanging up within seconds of my entering the room.
“Are you okay?” He gets out of his chair and rounds his desk, coming for me.
Zachary would never have done that. He would have held up his finger like I’m the one interrupting something important, versus me being the important one.
I wave a hand toward the door, pleased that he sees I’m upset. “Shut it. Please.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you when you shut the door. It’s, um, a private matter.” I offer him a shaky smile, which makes him frown, and he goes to his door, shutting and locking it before he returns to me.
“Tell me,” he demands as he pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, circling his waist, pressing my face against his chest, his scent, his warmth, invading me. Comforting me. I hold on to him for long, quiet moments, savoring the feeling of being in his strong arms until finally he withdraws from he, his hands grasping my shoulders, his expression serious as he studies me. “You’re worrying me, Violet.”
Is it wrong that I love that he’s worried? “I went to my father’s office. He asked that I stop by so we can discuss a few things.” I take a deep breath, not exactly sure how I should say this. “When I peeked through his open door I saw him inside with … Pilar.”
Ryder frowns and pulls away from me slightly. “So?”
“She was sitting on his desk directly in front of him and he had his hands on her … on her thighs. I think they’d just kissed or something.”
“What?” Ryder sounds as incredulous as I feel. “Did you see them actually kiss?”
I shake my head. “They appeared to be in a very … intimate position, though.”
He releases his hold on me and starts to pace, his expression determined, his body rigid. I don’t know what he’s thinking and it scares me. At least with Zachary, I knew where I stood. After being with him for two years, I sometimes felt like I could read his mind.
But with Ryder, it’s still too new and I know hardly anything about him. He’s so mysterious, revealing bits and pieces of himself that don’t always make sense. He’s completely closed off, and I wish he were more open to me.
“We need to be careful,” he finally says, his voice low, his expression distant. I can tell his mind is still churning, with what I’m not sure.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want people to suspect that we’re—together.” He almost seems to stumble on the last word and that irritates me. After everything we shared, everything that happened last night, there is no doubt in my mind that we’re together.
“Well, you blew that by getting into a fight with Zachary at that stupid party,” I remind him. I’m not taking responsibility for exposing what I wanted to be a secret affair from the beginning. That’s all on him.
“I know. Fuck.” He thrusts his hands into his hair, messing it up completely. I want to go to him and push his thick hair back into place, but I remain where I stand. Unsure of where I stand with him, really.
I hate that.
He comes to me, takes my hands and holds them loosely in his. “I’m going to ask you to do something that you won’t like.”
Frowning, I stare up at him. “What?”
“I want you to go back to Zachary.” He grimaces the second he says his name.
“Are you serious? No.” I jerk my hands from his and wrap my arms around myself to ward off the sudden cold that washes over me. “Why would I do that? Especially after …”
“Last night? I know.” He pulls me to him and wraps me in his arms, his mouth at my forehead, his hand possessively resting on my backside. �
�I can’t stop thinking about it, what happened last night between us, Violet. I need you to know that. But I also need you to do this. It’ll be temporary. We just need to create a cover while I figure out exactly what Pilar’s doing.”
“Why do we need a-a cover?” My voice hitches when Ryder runs his hand slowly up and down my ass. His caress lights me up from within, makes my body yearn for what only he can give me. I should hate him for making these suggestions, but it’s as though he’s putting me in a trance with his touch while asking me to do something I normally would never do.
I almost feel … manipulated.
“I don’t want Pilar knowing that we suspect she’s with your father,” he says as he nuzzles my face with his. “Christ, you smell good.”
“Ryder …” I protest just as he cups my face and tilts my mouth up to his. He takes my lips in a savage kiss that has me turning more fully into him, my arms going around his neck, my tongue tangling with his.
“You are too much of a distraction.” He pushes me away, his hands gripping my shoulders, arms extended so there’s plenty of distance between us. “This afternoon I want you to go to Zachary’s office and tell him you miss him. That you regret you’re not spending his last days in New York with him. It won’t take much to convince that asshole you want him still.”
My skin crawls at the thought. “I don’t want to do this,” I admit softly.
“Baby.” He cups my cheeks, drifts his thumbs across my skin so gently I close my eyes, savoring his touch. Nerves ravage at my stomach. It almost feels like this will be last time we’re together. Dramatic but true. “I know you don’t. But do this for me. For us. I promise it will all work out in the end.”
“And what will you be doing while I’m pretending to be with Zachary?” Disgust roils through me, upsetting my stomach. What if he goes back to Pilar? I can hardly stand the thought. Just the idea of Pilar having her hands all over him makes me want to hurt her.
And I never want to hurt anyone.
“Investigating. Questioning Pilar. Questioning your father.”
Of course, he mentions Pilar. I hate that. And what he wants us to do … it sounds risky. I don’t understand why we have to turn this into such a covert operation. “I won’t have sex with him, Ryder. He’ll want to, but I won’t do it.”
Owning Violet Page 24
