I know it.
Doesn’t mean I’ll do it, though.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Violet
I’m lying on top of Ryder’s desk, my dress hiked up to my waist, my panties lying on the floor, my legs spread wide with Ryder standing in between them while he pushes his thick cock inside of me again and again. He grips my ankles, his fingers curved tight, thumbs skimming over the patterned stockings I wore just for him.
I knew he’d like them.
In a daze, I watch him. Admire him. His dark hair is a riotous mess from me running my fingers through it only minutes ago. He shed his jacket but he’s wearing one of his usual crisp white shirts and a black silk tie, everything perfectly in place above the waist. His pants are bunched around his knees along with his charcoal boxer briefs, but that doesn’t hinder him in his ability to fuck me into oblivion.
Nothing keeps my man down.
I close my eyes and savor the thrust of his cock inside my body. In. Out. Faster. Deeper. His hands move away from my ankles and he’s gripping my hips, holding me in place as he increases his thrusts even faster. I wrap my legs around his waist, moaning with every slap of his balls against my ass. Reach out and grip his wrists to ground me as I feel the orgasm build and sway. It teases me, offering me a glimpse of its intensity, and I chase after it, close my eyes tight, concentrate on reaching that pinnacle. If I could just grasp hold of it and not let go …
The rippling sensation washes over me and I cry out, my eyes popping open to take him in as he stills, his expression one of shocked, blissful agony. One hard buck of his hips and his semen fills me as he comes, his entire body wracked with shudders.
Feeling his flesh sink into mine with no latex barriers … my God. It makes everything that much better. Like, mind-bogglingly better.
“Fuck, that was unbelievable,” he mutters, sounding overcome. He grabs hold of my hands and pulls me into a sitting position, his cock still imbedded in my body. I tilt my head back just as he kisses me, his lips soft and damp, his tongue teasing against my lower lip. I part my lips on a sigh and slide my tongue against his, and the kiss turns lazy and sweet. I tighten my grip on his hands, our fingers intertwined, and I realize I’ve never felt so content.
Ridiculous. Most of the time he confuses me. My feelings for him confuse me. He can be so indifferent sometimes. Mysterious. Standoffish. And other times, he’s passionate and all-consuming. Intense, and even a little … cruel. But a delicious sort of cruel that makes me want more.
Then he looks at me in a certain way and says something dirty while he touches me like I’m a possession and he owns me. And all I want to do is fall into his arms and let him do whatever he wants to me.
I’m giving him too much power. I’ve been in this position before and I’ve always felt held back, especially with Zachary. There’s something about handing the power over to Ryder, though, that’s different. I feel both cherished and liberated. Taken care of yet free.
“I should go,” I whisper against his lips, reluctant to break the spell he’s woven over me.
“Why?” He runs his fingers over my hair, pushing it back into place.
This entire charade we’re participating in is beyond frustrating. “If I stay locked up in your office for too long, people will get suspicious.”
“We’re in a meeting.” He kisses me again. Softly. Sweetly. I could kiss him all day. All night. “Discussing packaging for your cosmetics line.”
“That excuse will hold up for only so long.” I touch his face, feeling closer to him now than I ever have. It’s so silly. We just had sex on his desk, but it felt … different somehow.
“Mmm.” His low hum vibrates through me, making me warm, and then he’s gone. As he withdraws from my body, I feel his semen drip out of me and I frown. He bends down and snatches my panties off the floor, pressing them against my sex so he can clean me up as best he can. “Sorry,” he whispers as he crumples up my panties in his fist and strides around his desk to shove them in his top drawer.
“Don’t forget those,” I tell him. I’d be mortified if he opened his drawer one day in front of someone and there lay my panties. Not that anyone would know they’re mine, but still …
I slide off the desk and tug my skirt back into place, feeling awkward as usual. It’s always this way after we mess around in his office or some other clandestine location. Usually I become nervous, he becomes brusque, and I scurry away like an insecure little girl, hoping he doesn’t hate me.
“Hey.”
Turning, I find him watching me, his gaze soft, his smile warm. He’s looking at me as if he might actually care, and my heart swells with hope. “Yes?” I ask, hoping I don’t sound too nervous.
He approaches me, drops a kiss to my lips. “I’ll see you tonight, yes?”
I nod. “Of course.”
“Good.” He traces my lips with his index finger. “I’ll come over after work?”
“Maybe we could grab dinner,” I suggest, loving the idea of actually going out with him.
“How about takeout?”
Disappointment crashes within me. “All right.” I step around him and start toward the door when he comes up behind me and rests his hands on my hips, twirling me around so I’m facing him.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I should go.” I frown up at him, reaching out to straighten his tie.
“With no kiss goodbye?”
Standing on tiptoe, I press my mouth to his in a chaste kiss. “Goodbye,” I murmur, hating how final that word sounds.
“Violet. What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. I can’t tell him that I’m worried about all of this. About him. About us. I’m falling for him. And I think he’s falling for me, but what if …
What if this is all a lie?
He slips his fingers beneath my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze once again. “Tell me.”
“I’m fine. Just worried. About … everything.” I sound silly. Like I’m making up an excuse.
“You worry too much.” He drops a kiss on the tip of my nose and then reaches out to unlock and open the door for me. “It’s been a pleasure, as usual, to discuss packaging details with you, Miss Fowler,” he says loudly in case anyone is passing by.
No one is, of course. I want to laugh, but I don’t. “Thank you, Mr. McKay. Your advice, as usual, is spot on.”
“That’s what I hoped.” He smacks me on the ass and shoves me into the hall with a wink and a smile before he walks back to his desk.
I return to my office in a dreamlike state, hardly remembering taking the elevator to get there. There’s a bright pink Post-it note stuck to the middle of my monitor and I snatch it off, reading the familiar handwriting of my father’s assistant, Joy.
Your father would like to speak with you at your earliest convenience.
Settling behind my desk, I dial her extension.
“Is he busy?” I ask in greeting when she answers.
“Not at the moment. If you come now, you’ll probably be able to squeeze in a few minutes before his next appointment.”
“I’ll be right there.” I hang up and head down the hall toward Father’s office, wondering what he could want to talk about. Nothing unusual is going on that I know of. I’ve been lying low, especially after my fake tentative reconciliation with Zachary. I haven’t mentioned it to Rose or Lily, and I’m hoping I’ll never have to mention it because everything will come together perfectly. They will kill me if they think I’m back with him.
But I have my doubts about this plan. How can it come together when Ryder is being so secretive? I don’t even fully understand what’s going on.
“Ah, there you are.” Father smiles when he spots me standing in the open doorway. He looks genuinely happy to see me. Weird. “I was hoping to talk to you. Sit.”
I do as he asks, straightening my skirt, ignoring the ache between my legs and the fact that I’m not wearing any panties. I don’t even recognize
who I am anymore. “What’s going on?” I ask politely.
“First, I want you to know that Alan Brown has been released from prison.” He lifts his hand when I open my mouth, silencing me. “He’s in upstate New York and can’t leave the county. He has to check in with his parole officer on a regular basis.”
I release a shuddering breath. “Do you think that will stop him?”
“Violet.” He levels his gaze on me. “He’s not going to come after you. You’re worrying about nothing.”
Leave it to him to dismiss my fears. He’s been doing that in regard to Alan Brown since the incident happened. “I can’t help it,” I admit softly. “You didn’t see his face when I testified against him, how angry he was. I could see the rage he felt toward me, but you don’t know. You weren’t there.” He was at work. Grandma came with me, sitting discreetly in the courtroom, hiding in the back row. She’s such a recognizable icon that she couldn’t risk being seen by any of the media.
She had no problem coming with me, being there for me. Lily wanted to come too, but she was even more recognizable than our grandmother, especially back then, since that was at the height of her notoriety.
Father acted like it was nothing. A blip in my existence. Nothing more.
“Of course, you can’t help it. It was a traumatic experience, but you can’t let it control your life.” His voice is firm, his expression pleasant. Telling me that I’m just wasting my time.
So I do as he asks and move on. “Is there anything else?”
“Yes. As you know, Zachary is leaving us. Temporarily of course,” he adds hastily. “But it’s happening, and I’m not sure when his short tenure is up in London if he’ll be returning here,” Father explains.
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“Well, we’re opening up a small office in Japan. I believe that would be a better fit for him. We want to tap into the edgy Tokyo market and I think he would do well leading the team there.” He leans forward, his voice lowering. “We both know it wasn’t working between the two of you.”
I can’t believe he just said that. “So he won’t be coming back?” I ask, my words slow and careful. I want to make sure I completely understand what he’s implying.
“No. I have no plans for his return.” He gives me a look, one that says he knows everything. “He’s disruptive, Violet, and you know it. I let him stick around this long because of your relationship with him, but now that’s in complete shambles …”
“I’m still talking to him,” I say, interrupting him.
“Don’t waste your time.” The way Father says it, it’s as if there’s no argument necessary. We’re done. “He’s no good for you, Violet. His philandering has hurt you terribly.”
I’m shocked. I didn’t realize he even noticed. “What about his current position?”
“His second in command will take his place,” Father says smoothly, without a care. “I’d like to talk to you about taking on the London position. Permanently.”
My mouth drops open. “I haven’t thought much about it.” All lies. From the moment he mentioned the possibility, the idea has lingered in my mind. Going to London would be a terrific opportunity. I could learn a lot there. The only thing I fear is leaving New York, my family, my friends.
Ryder.
“Really? It’s the perfect opportunity. And it wouldn’t be forever. You can assist with foreign production, catch a glimpse of the sales side and the marketing side. All of it excellent information you can add to your résumé when you take over the company for me after I retire.”
I’m gaping at him like some sort of dying fish. What he’s saying is blowing my mind. “What about everything I do here?”
“Rose can help. And Lily …” His voice drifts and his gaze turns sad. “I have high hopes I can convince her to come back and work with me. Maybe with you gone she’ll understand how much we need her.”
I can’t help but want to be here when that moment happens because it will be a miracle. “It sounds wonderful,” I say, excitement rising within me. This is a chance I can’t let slip by. And if Lily came back to Fleur to take my place, then I wouldn’t feel so guilty for leaving.
“Think on it,” he tells me, his voice gentle, as is his expression. “You have time. Zachary will be in the London office for the next four to six weeks. Perhaps you could have a decision within the next two weeks?”
“That sounds fine.” He smiles at me and I know the conversation is done.
“Perfect. Now. I know you just told me you’re talking to Zachary and I’m irritated by the way he treated you all of these years, but I still would like to give the worthless ass a quick going-away party. Will you help with that?”
Did my father just use the word ass in front of me? What in the world is happening to everyone? “Help as in coordinate it completely?” Dread threatens, but I push it aside. If we have a going-away party for Zachary, I know he’ll want me by his side the entire evening. And if Rose or Lily discovers this while at the party, seeing me playing the sweet stupid girl while he’s off doing whatever he wants, I’ll never hear the end of it.
“Yes, exactly,” he says with a contrite laugh. “Does that sound all right to you?”
“Sounds fine,” I say nervously. This will be my last official duty as Zachary’s supposed girlfriend, I swear. “You’re in a good mood.”
His smile softens, as do his eyes. He looks so happy … almost carefree. “That’s because I’ve met a woman.”
My breath freezes in my lungs. No way could he be referring to …
“So you’re seeing someone?”
“I am.” He nods.
“And is it serious?” I ask casually, clutching my shaking hands together in my lap.
“It’s turning that way.” His smile fades. “I hope you don’t think I was hiding her from you. It’s just that … I wanted to make sure of our feelings for each other before I introduced her as my girlfriend to you and your sisters.”
“I understand,” I lie. He was totally hiding her if he’s referring to Pilar.
Rose is going to flip. So will Lily. I’m ready to lose it right now, but I keep my cool.
“Good.” His smile returns, bigger this time. “She keeps me young. I haven’t been this happy in a long time.”
I wonder if he knows that Pilar has cheated on him—with my ex. I wonder if there have been others. I can’t help but wonder when was the last time Ryder and Pilar had sex.
I think I’m going to be sick to my stomach.
“Thank you, my dear.” He stands, and I do so as well. “I appreciate you coming by.” Slipping back into his formal ways. I see where I get it from.
“And I appreciate the offer you’ve made. You’ve given me a lot to consider.” More than I ever imagined, both about my professional life and his personal.
“Good.” He smiles with approval. “I can’t wait to hear your answer.”
I walk out of Father’s office in a daze, this one different from the sexual stupor Ryder put me in before. This time, I’m amazed and confused by Father’s offer and his subtle revelation. He wants to keep Zachary away from me. He has a girlfriend who keeps him young. He wants to give me an opportunity to prove that I’m capable of running Fleur Cosmetics someday.
If Father makes Pilar a more integral part of Fleur, I don’t know if I want to remain in New York after all.
His offer for me to work in London is looking more and more like a positive change.
A fresh start. And the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Ryder
I’m worried.
I sit at my desk and stare at the text Violet just sent me, wondering what she’s referring to. There are all sorts of things that should be worrying Violet.
And me.
We’ve snuck around for days. Pretending we don’t care about each other at work beyond that we’re business associates working on a project together. At night, I go to her place, where we t
alk. Eat. Have sex. Lots and lots of sex.
Plenty of talking, too. The woman’s mind fascinates me. She’s so smart, she’s done so much, seen so much in her life, and I can only hope to do and see as much as she has. I learn something from her every time we have a conversation. I learned plenty from Pilar, too, but this is different. Deeper.
I feel connected to Violet.
She seems as fascinated by me as I am with her. I don’t feel like I’m being used or have to throw up all my defenses in case she’s trying to trick me. What I share with Violet is as genuine as it gets.
Well. I still haven’t told her how this all started, plotting with Pilar. I’m too freaked out to confess. That admission could ruin everything.
And I’m not ready to take that risk yet.
My phone buzzes again and I focus on the most recent message from Violet.
I’m really stressed out.
About what?
Everything. What’s happening between me and you. What’s happening with Zachary. And Pilar. And my father.
There’s a lineup that’s causing me nothing but grief.
What’s going on with your father?
Remember when I talked to him a few days ago? I never told you, but … he confessed that he’s in a relationship.
Shit. Why did she keep that from me?
Like I have any room to talk.
Did he say it was with Pilar?
No, there were no names mentioned, but I have a strong feeling he’s referring to her.
Fuck this texting thing. I call her.
“What exactly did he say?” I growl into the phone the minute she answers.
“He spoke in vague terms. Said he kept it quiet because he wanted to ensure it was turning into something serious before he mentioned it to me and my sisters.” Her voice lowers. “I don’t want it to be her, but I’m sure it is. She’ll hurt him, Ryder. I know she will.”
Violet’s right. If things don’t go her way, Pilar will have no qualms about wreaking as much damage as possible. “Could he be with someone else?” I suggest, wishing it were so. That would simplify everything.
Owning Violet Page 28
