“Don’t stop,” I heard Charlie sigh. “Please, don’t stop.”
Her nails bit into my wrist as I shifted to lift her hips to my mouth. The muscles in her thighs and stomach clenched and her heels dug into my ribs. She was so close, and I’d never wanted anything more than to bring her there.
The strain caused her thighs to shake and I could tell she was holding back. Little growls ripped out of her throat as she chased the edge of release repeatedly. It was only the realization that she was probably thinking too much that tore me away.
She wouldn’t look at me as I crawled up her body, but that was okay. I stretched out next to her and pulled her in to my warmth, making sure to tuck the sheets around us. The tension didn’t completely go out of her body, but she turned to the circle of my arms, which I took as a good sign. She took in a deep breath and when she let it out, it was a little shaky.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and I’d never heard her voice so meek. It made me want to gather her close to me and never let go. Christ.
“Don’t be sorry, baby girl. You have nothing to apologize for.” I pulled her close to me so she could lay her head on my chest like we’d done a thousand times before. Nothing had ever felt so right.
Only when I thought she was ready, did I place an arm on her thigh. Her heartbeat thundered against my chest, but I merely traced patterns along her skin until it calmed again. Then I increased the pressure of my hands and rubbed all over her stomach and thighs. It was as much to soothe her as it was to keep my hands on her. I couldn’t seem to get enough.
With each pass, my hands dipped lower and lower. To the tops of her thighs. The globes of her ass, the small of her back. When I heard her breath catch again, I traced the inside of her thigh with one finger until her legs shifted, allowing me access.
My new favorite thing was listening to her breathing change as my hands mapped her body. I’d never known she could make such erotic sounds and I wanted to catalogue each one. Like how touching the skin just underneath her belly button could make her sigh or how scratching lightly over the backs of her thighs would make her shift and grind closer to me.
I was perfectly content to spend the rest of the morning letting my hands wander over her until there wasn’t a part I wasn’t familiar with, but she had other ideas. Without warning, she surged up and pulled my mouth down to hers.
“Please,” she said against my lips as our tongues battled fiercely. “Please, Liam. Please. Please. Please.” She said it over and over until I swore I’d hear her begging in my sleep.
My hands became more insistent, forcing their way between her legs until I found her wet and waiting. I plunged two fingers inside her and swallowed down her moan like it was water and I was two steps away from death.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Oh my God, you feel so good. Oh God, please.”
She was soaking wet and couldn’t keep her hips still, couldn’t stop kissing me. Her hands dug into my shoulders and pulled me even closer. I braced myself on one forearm, my muscles burning from the awkward angle, but I didn’t dare move. She was clamping down on my fingers and I was so focused on the slow, gliding thrusts that made her plead with me each time I did it that I didn’t care if I had to hold this position for the rest of my life.
When she went over, God, I didn’t think I’d ever forget how she felt in my arms. She tugged me closer to kiss me wildly, open-mouthed and animalistic. She rode my fingers until her hips couldn’t move any longer and I pulled back just enough to commit her pleasure-ravaged face to memory.
Chapter Nineteen
Charlie
I should have been embarrassed, but somehow, there wasn’t room for it. I’d never been so comfortable with another man before. It didn’t make any sense to me because it should have been awkward. I’d known Liam so long in every other way, him seeing me naked, him making me come should have made me want to run in the other direction. But it didn’t.
It made me want to climb on top of him and do it again.
All I wanted to do was sink against him and stay in the protective circle of his arms. I’d always been relaxed around him, but this was different. It was as though I’d discovered another side of him, one that fit all my jagged edges like the perfect matching puzzle piece.
I blinked up at him, my tongue thick and heavy in my mouth. I didn’t know what to say, but he seemed to know what I wanted without words and simply put a hand on my waist and wrapped me up in his arms, just like I needed.
I’m not normally a crier, but my chest swelled with emotions I didn’t know how to handle. Instead of letting them out, I balled my free fist up in the sheets to cover his stomach and pressed my forehead against his chest. The hand on my back rubbed over me in a soothing gesture until my breathing went back to normal and all the blood returned to my brain.
“Wow,” I said, when I could think again. “Just…wow.”
He chuckled and pressed an absent-minded kiss to the top of my head that made it hard for me to swallow. “Good morning?”
“Very,” I answered. I exhaled shakily. “Very good morning.”
“You okay?” he asked, his mouth still resting against my hair.
“I think so.”
He started to speak, but my phone cut him off. “Hold that thought. Some rando’s been calling me for weeks. Let me tell them to stop calling,” I said as I reached for it. “Hello?” But it came out split into two words because the second I answered, Liam’s hand streaked up my thigh. I held it with one of my own.
“Hello?” came the tentative answer. “Is this Charlie St. James?”
The hand climbed higher, despite my grip on it. “S-speaking.” I glared at Liam, but there wasn’t a shred of regret to be found. As soon as the call was over, I was going to tease him until he begged for it.
“You sound just like me. I can’t believe it’s really you.”
My hand went limp on Liam’s and my heart began to race. “Who is this?” I scrambled for an explanation, but my mind was blank.
“Do you have a minute to talk?” came the woman’s answer. I didn’t recognize her voice. She said I sounded just like her, but I didn’t note the resemblance. Besides, why would I sound like her? That didn’t make any sense…
Then it hit me. I sat up straight, racing heart now in my throat. “Who is this?” I repeated. My voice was harsh, almost a bark, but I didn’t care. “Tell me or I’m hanging up.”
“Don’t hang up. Please. I just want a chance to explain.”
“Start talking, then.”
Liam sat up against the headboard and his arm came around me until his hand rested reassuringly on my thigh. “What’s the matter?” he murmured.
I could barely hear him or the woman on the phone over the ringing in my ears.
“This is April. April Parrish.” She laughed nervously. “I’m, God, I’m your mom, Charlie.”
“P-Parrish. April Parrish,” I repeated to make sure I was hearing things correctly. The word “Mom” ricocheted in my skull. I’d played this scenario over and over again in my head, but I never truly believed I’d ever hear from her again. Now that I had her on the phone, I didn’t know what I wanted to say first, if anything.
“Yes, baby, it’s me. God, it’s been such a long time.”
“Mom?” Someone answered. It took me a minute to realize the small sounding voice was my own.
“Mom?” Liam repeated. His hand tightened on my hip. I covered it with my own and squeezed, needing the reassurance his strength provided.
“I know. I can’t believe it either,” she said. I had to close my eyes to focus on the sound of her voice. She was right. I could recognize my own in hers. “I was at work and I came across your application for the volunteer trip. I almost couldn’t believe what I was reading. It took me weeks to work up the courage to call you.”
“You work for the volunteer organization?”
“Sort of. It’s hard to explain, but I’d love to meet you in person. If you’re up to that, I
mean. I want to help you.”
“Help me?”
“With the application. I know some people and thought I might push it along so they see it? If you were interested, I mean.”
The happiness I’d felt waking up to Liam had leached away the moment I answered the phone and realized who was on the other line. “Why would you want to help me now?” I asked.
Liam’s hand tightened on mine. I squeezed back for dear life, a little more at ease knowing that no matter what happened, he was there for me.
“I know nothing I say can ever explain away what I’ve done, but I thought, maybe it was a sign. Maybe enough time has passed that we can talk again. Nothing I say will ever explain away what I did, but I’d like the chance to give you my side of the story.”
“Why should I?” I asked bluntly.
There was a pause before she said. “I thought you might like the chance to get to know your family.”
“My family?” My throat closed around the words.
“Please, Charlie. Just give me a chance.”
I hung up a few minutes later and slumped against the headboard, unsure of what to think. My mom. I’d just talked to my mom. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted a million different things and didn’t know which one of them I should do first.
“Are you okay?” Liam asked quietly.
I shoved my face in my hands and sucked in a deep breath, but it didn’t help. “I honestly don’t know.”
He kissed my shoulder and his breath fanned over my still-bare skin. I’d forgotten I was naked, but as soon as I realized it and how close he was, my body heated. Despite the shock, it still wanted him. I wanted him.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I turned to lean my head against his chest and my muscles relaxed as his warmth seeped into my clammy skin. “Just stay with me for a while, please.”
“Of course.” His hands traced my body, causing me to shiver. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I shrugged. What was there to say? I still couldn’t believe what had happened. “She wants to meet me. To talk.”
“Are you gonna do it?”
I closed my eyes and fitted my face into his neck. As though we’d done it a thousand times, he shifted to make room for my body. “I’m not sure.”
“Whatever you decide, I’m sure it’ll be the right thing.” How he could be so certain, I’d never know. What I did know was he was my rock. The solidness of him beside me quelled the panic that threatened to rise.
Silence surrounded us, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Then I tilted my head back to look at him. “Will you do me a favor?”
He brushed the hair away from my face. “Anything,” he said.
“Will you help me forget, just for a little while?”
His hand trailed down my arm, pushed beneath the sheet covering my bare hip and cupped my ass. “You mean like this?”
“Yes,” I said on an exhale. “Please.”
His voice dropped an octave. “I love it when you say that.”
I strained upward until my lips reached his ear. “Please, Liam.”
He groaned and settled between my legs. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. I’ll give you whatever you want.”
He slid inside, and I gripped his arms. “All I want is you.”
An hour later, we were running very late to meet up with the girls, Dash, and Tripp for dinner and drinks. Since we all lived in the same building, we normally met at Ember’s place on the first floor since it was the most convenient. She’d offered to let me stay with her, but her twin sisters and parents also lived with her. Ember had enough on her plate and I didn’t want to be a burden.
“Sorry we’re late,” I said as I stumbled into her living room, tugging on my cardigan sleeve and trying not to blush. Liam had done exactly as I asked and made me forget everything but him. “I was doing…stuff.”
Liam emerged from the door behind me with a self-satisfied smile on his lips. “I was stuff.”
I slapped him on the shoulder, then shoved him into the wall. I turned, sniffed, then said, “Did someone save me a slice of ham and pineapple?”
Ember and Layla shouted, “I knew it!” at the same time and Dash and Tripp shared manly grins with Liam.
It wouldn’t make our problems go away and we’d have a lot to talk about eventually, but for now, I had my friends and I had Liam and that was all I needed to forget everything else and lose myself in the moment for once instead of worrying.
Chapter Twenty
Liam
I left Charlie in my bed the next day without waking her.
Not only because she looked so peaceful as she slept, but because I knew if I looked into her eyes I wouldn’t be able to do what I needed to do without feeling overwhelming guilt. But it didn’t matter. I still felt regret gnawing away at my insides like a cancerous tumor. I rationalized it by telling myself there was no use in bringing up the scholarship as my options were still wide open. The last thing she needed right now was for me to bring up that I was applying to veterinary schools out of state.
The ride to the library on campus took for-fucking-ever and gave me too much time to think. Too much time to remember how Charlie looked the moment she took me inside her. How she made me feel like I was the only man in the world, in her eyes. It was heart-stopping, the way she looked at me.
I used to think I knew everything about her. I could tell by the sound of her voice if she was happy or sad. I could read her like a fuckin’ book.
But the past couple days.
They’d been different.
They’d been more.
And it scared the fucking shit out of me.
It made me want things I shouldn’t want.
Things I don’t deserve.
She makes me want it all—with her.
I had to force all of it—including her—from my mind as I reached the parking garage for the library. The scholarship was for the University of California, Davis. It had been my first choice after the University of Florida. Or at least it had been before I realized how far away I’d be if I got it. How far away I’d be from Charlie.
I used to think being with Charlie was a simple as breathing. Now I realized it was so much more than that. Being around her was as essential, as life-giving, as necessary. The thought of losing her sent my body into an all-out panic. My chest ached and my brain screamed for just one more inhale.
I knew reality would return when deadlines for admission came, along with all my doubts, but for that moment, I wanted to breathe her in over and over, until she’s was as much a part of me as the oxygen flowing through my veins. I wanted to enjoy having her by my side for as long as I fucking could.
Each step I took through the cavernous lobby put more and more distance between me and the one person I never thought I could abandon. I could feel myself moving farther and farther away from her, but I knew we’d both regret it if I put my plans on hold. Despite everything that had happened, we both had a future.
As I sat at the desk to review my paperwork, I realized I’d never considered the fact that our futures might not be with one another. And that thought scared me more than it should.
I was so troubled by the thought I pushed it from my mind and called my dad to stop from thinkin about it.
“Hello,” he answered after a couple rings. I had to press my ear close to the speaker because my dad had a habit of getting distracted and not speaking directly into the microphone.
“Hey, Dad, it’s Liam.”
“Liam. Good to hear from you.”
I cleared my throat. “You too. Uh, listen, I’m being considered for a couple scholarships for veterinary school and I need your help with the financial information. They’re requesting copies of tax returns for the past couple years for verification.”
Dad grunted.
“Would you mind emailing me copies, please? I don’t have them and they need them in the next couple weeks before they announce finalists.”
I didn’t try to explain to him what the scholarships could mean for me. They were the difference between attending a top school in the country or settling for my second choice. The truth was, I wasn’t sure he’d care about the difference. As far as he was concerned, I was chasing a pipe dream.
“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do.”
“It’s that William?” came Grandma Dorothy’s voice.
“It’s Liam, Mom,” Dad corrected solemnly.
I felt like a dick. Dad was just trying to do what was best for his family. He probably couldn’t understand why I wanted to become a vet despite that I’d tried to explain it to him several times. He had to put his mother in a home rather than take care of her. Much as we butted heads, I needed to remind myself to cut him a break.
“Liam!” came Grandma’s familiar voice as she took the phone. “I miss you baby boy. When are you going to come see me again?”
I thought of upcoming exams, work, and the acceptances I needed to sort through and make a decision about. “I’m going to try to head over there as soon as I can, okay?” I hated telling her no, but there was so much I needed to do.
“Oh, alright. Well, I miss you and I love you!”
“I love you, too. Give mom a hug for me.”
“I will, baby. You take care of yourself.”
“You, too,” I answered, but she was already gone.
* * *
After a long day of classes and worrying about grandma, I was looking forward to going home, and if I was honest, seeing Charlie. We’d texted throughout the day, but I wanted to bury myself in her and forget everything else. I’d spent an hour at the gym after my last class, but it still didn’t erase the unease pulling at my stomach. The only thing in my life that seemed to be going right was her…and I didn’t want to lose her.
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 13
