“Does it matter?” There was no way she’d forgive me now.
“It matters to me.”
“Look Charlie, things between us are still new. We’re still getting used to…whatever this is. I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Don’t you think moving halfway across the country is going to have an impact on whatever this is?” Normally the snarky tone she’d take when she argued would bring a smile to my face, but this time it made my stomach sink.
“Can we not talk about this now? It’s early and we’re both tired.” And the last thing I wanted to do was have a conversation that could possibly bring about the end of us when we’d barely even begun.
She was silent for a long moment. Long enough that I thought maybe she’d agree to drop it. Then she moved quickly to tug on her jeans and slip into her flats. She was still wearing my shirt. For some reason that stood out in my mind. Like as long as she still had something of mine we’d always be connected.
“What are you doing?” I asked, sitting straight up.
“I think it’s best if I leave. I’m gonna go stay at a hotel for the night. While you’re at work tomorrow, I’ll pack up so I won’t be here when you get back.”
“Wait a damn minute.” I wanted to get up, to stop her, but she was already slinging her purse over her shoulder. By the time I hopped up and drug on a pair of sweats, she was already striding to the front door.
“Don’t worry about it, Liam. We’ll figure everything out when you get back.”
“Dammit, Charlie. What are you doing?” Thunder rolled and I had to raise my voice over it.
“I’m leaving you before you have to make the hard decision to leave me first. I knew this was a stupid thing for me to do and I did it anyway. For you.”
Then she spun around and slammed out the door before I could tug on my shoes and follow her. By the time I reached my truck, she was already peeling out into the heavy downpour of the sudden Florida storm. My hands fused to my steering wheel as I followed her out into the rain and onto the highway. All I could picture was her face and how I didn’t want it to be the way we ended things.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Charlie
The rain suited my mood. I wanted to drown in it, hide in it. But most of all, I wanted to run…and I hated myself for it. The second I saw Liam’s acceptance letter it was like the floor had been torn right out from under me. I wanted to scream and cry and rage, so I did. In between stop lights and on long stretches of road. I screamed and tears poured from my eyes. It was so early, there was barely any traffic.
There was no one to see me break down. No one to save me now that I’d left the one person who’d always been there.
I was truly alone now.
I took a curve going a little too fast and slightly tapped the brakes. At first I thought it was my car. Maybe the damn thing had finally given up the ghost, but no. My car skidded across the rain-slick streets and began to hydroplane across three lanes of traffic, right in front of the semi in the inside lane next to me.
Even though my head screamed at me not to slam my foot on the brakes, my body reacted without thought. All I could think was I needed to stop before I slammed through the guard rail and into oncoming traffic. Everything happened so fast, but slow at the same time. The time in which I spent spinning across two lanes of traffic on the interstate and then into the grassy median seemed to take an eternity.
I braced for impact, but the muddy grass slowed me down—or maybe it was the death-stomp I had on the brake. Either way, my car came to a sickening halt facing north on the southbound side of the interstate.
Rain pelted against the hood of my car and sweat dampened my brow, my upper lip, and the backs of my knees in hot, uncomfortable pinpricks. At the same time, I trembled, skin coated in goosebumps from the chill. I was alive.
Then shock settled in and my hands began to quake.
I’d spent my whole life being strong. First for my dad after my mom split, then for myself when I was all alone in the world. I didn’t want to be strong anymore. I didn’t want to do it all on my own. I wanted someone I could trust to lean on, and maybe that’s why I took the news about Liam’s leaving so hard. I thought he was the one I could trust to always be there.
But now, none of that seemed important.
I was scared and alone and all I wanted was his arms around me to tell me it would be okay.
I fumbled in my purse for my phone to call emergency services to help with my car and report the accident, and to call Liam and apologize for overreacting. God, I wanted to apologize. But my phone was dead and I’d left my charger at his house when I’d raced out. The tears spilled over then and I banged my head against the steering wheel.
I forced myself to breathe normally—in through my nose and out through my mouth—until I calmed down enough to think rationally. Someone would have reported the accident. Someone would see my car stuck on the side of the road and they’d call the state troopers. I’d just need to wait until someone came out to check on me. Then I’d figure out what to do from there.
It didn’t take long for the flash of someone’s headlights to shine into my front window. Certainly faster than I thought their response time would be, considering the torrential downpour. Their lights were shining into my eyes, so I couldn’t see who it was, but it didn’t matter. I was grateful.
Unable to keep my head up any longer—crashing from the adrenaline, I guessed—I slumped against the wheel again as I waited for whoever it was to come to me. Normally, I would have gotten out to meet them, but I wasn’t sure I could walk, let alone do so in the early morning in the rain.
My door flew open. “Charlie?”
The sound of Ember’s voice sent a shock throughout my whole body, giving me enough energy to sit up. “Ember?”
For a second I was legitimately afraid I’d died. My thoughts were like sludge and it didn’t occur to me that there’d be any other explanation.
“Jesus. Are you okay?” I started to move to get out, but she stopped me. “Wait until I can check you over really quick. Do you feel any pain anywhere?” Her fingers came away bloody as she inspected the wound on my head I only just realized was there.
I reached my own hand up and found a sizable bump on my temple that was freely bleeding. “It’s just a bump. I’m okay.” When there were no significant injuries, she helped me to her SUV to finish the exam rather than wait in the freezing rain. She must have gotten the emergency call when I’d gone off the road. I spotted the semi driver talking to a cop in the distance. I’d have to remember to thank him.
She frowned. “You’re okay when I say you’re okay. Stay still while I examine you.” As her fingers poked and prodded, I stayed as still as possible.
“I’m fine. I promise.” The sight of blood cleared my thoughts a little.
“What are you doing out here, Charlie?” Ember asked quietly as she bandaged the wound.
There was no point in trying to hide anything from her. She’d had too much experience dragging out the truth from her mischievous siblings for lies to work on her. “Liam and I had a fight.”
She sighed and pulled me in for a hug, then shoved me back firmly to glare. “And you thought the smart thing to do would be go for a drive in the middle of a damn hurricane!”
I nearly rolled my eyes, but I didn’t think she’d appreciate it. “This is Florida, there’s always a hurricane.”
“Be serious. You could have been killed. I’ve had to see a lot as an EMT, but what I never want to see is someone I love at a call.” It was her serious tone that sobered me up.
“I’m sorry, Ember. I would never want to put you through that. To be honest, I was just driving. I didn’t know where else to go.” I hated to admit that, to be so vulnerable with anyone, but Liam seemed to have opened a damn of emotion I’d never realized had even been there.
Ember took my hand with hers. “You always have somewhere to go. With me, or with Layla. We love you, Charlie, so m
uch. That’s why we’re friends. We don’t have Liam’s abs or his dimple, but we love you and you’re always welcome with us.”
I laughed, but it caused my head to ache and I winced. “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts.”
“We’re gonna take a ride to the hospital to get that checked out, then you’re coming home with me.”
I opened my mouth to whine about going to the hospital, but one stern look from Ember had me shutting it. No wonder the twins shut up whenever she barked an order. She had the mom glare down pat.
* * *
Layla was waiting for me at Ember’s apartment by the time we finished up at the hospital. I felt bad for making them cater to me at the crack of dawn, but at the same time, I don’t know what I would have done without them. Which only made me dissolve into tears on Ember’s loveseat. Quiet tears, that is, because the twins were asleep in the next room.
“Do you need more ibuprofen?” Ember asked as she leaned over to check the ugly ass bandage on my head.
“No, Mom, I’m fine.” Then I sighed. “Speaking of, I have something to tell you guys.”
I caught them up on the call from my mother and her offer to push through my application as well as the fallout.
“You’re kidding!” Layla gasped.
“Unfortunately, no.” The medicine helped, but the combination of a hangover, the knock on the head and the on-and-off crying left me wrung out and my head aching.
“You’ve been busy,” Ember said after checking on her siblings, who thankfully hadn’t been disturbed by my arrival after their sitter left.
“You could say that.”
“Do you want to talk about Liam?” Layla asked gently.
At the mention of him, my heart twisted in my chest. “I’m not sure what there is to talk about.”
Ember handed me a cup of hot coffee. She knew me so well. “We assumed after Layla’s mom’s mixer that something was going on between you two.”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Layla added hastily after taking her own mug.
“It sounds like it happened so fast, because the physical aspect did, but we’ve been friends for so long it felt natural to move on to something more.”
“I always thought there was something between you two,” Ember said as she sat next to me on the loveseat.
“You did?” I asked.
“Duh,” Layla answered with a laugh. “You both fit together so well. The only reason we never said anything was because you didn’t seem ready to settle down. It would have been a disaster if you dated before you were ready.”
“You mean like now?” I stared down into my steaming cup.
“No,” Ember rushed to say. “Not at all. You never would have rushed into anything with Liam if you weren’t serious about it.”
Layla nodded. “No way you’d risk it unless you really care about him. You do care about him, don’t you?”
“I do. Much more than I ever thought possible.”
“So what happened? You both seemed fine last night.” Ember asked.
My whole body hurt remembering our argument, and not just the residual aches and pains from the accident. “I don’t know. I didn’t mean to blow up about it, really. I just woke up and saw the notification on his phone that he’d been accepted to all these schools. Schools as far away as California, apparently and he’d never said a word about it to me.”
Layla frowned. “He didn’t tell you where he was going?”
I shook my head and took a sip of coffee and nearly groaned. Ember understood my love for all things caffeine. Since she often took calls at all hours of the night, she knew the horror of settling for gas station slop and made it a point to make the good stuff whenever she could. “I hadn’t even thought of it because I was so focused on how good things were going. Maybe that’s why he waited. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a good thing this happened.”
“What are you going to do about volunteering?” Layla asked.
My eyes felt like they’d been filled with sand and then set on fire. I needed about a month of sleep. Maybe that would help the ache that had taken up residence in my heart. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been in this position before. Part of me gave up going for him, which was something I said I’d never do.” Before they could pipe up, I added, “And don’t you dare tell me never say never.”
“I think this is a good thing,” Ember declared.
“You do?” Layla and I said at the same time.
“Yes, I do. You’ve been so closed off for so long, there was bound to be someone who broke you out of your shell. Even better that it was Liam, who we already know is a good guy.”
“But he lied to her,” Layla said with a scowl.
“He’s probably just as confused as she is. Relationships are hard enough without being friends first.”
Layla and I both held our tongues. Ember and her boyfriend had been together for years, but things had been rocky since he started university in Miami. Long distance had been rough on them both.
I sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to make any decisions now,” Layla said, ever the reasonable one. “Take a couple days and figure out your next step. You both owe it to each other to work through the first hiccup. If you decide you don’t want to keep being with him, you don’t.”
“What if I do…and he doesn’t?” I almost couldn’t get the words out. The coffee had cooled, but I no longer wanted it. The taste was acrid on my tongue.
What if I’d finally fallen for someone and got my heart broken? I’d spent so long running away from being hurt again that I was terrified to stop. Then Liam had kissed me and I’d forgotten to be afraid, if only momentarily.
Ember rubbed my back. “Then we’ll be here for you. No matter what happens, you aren’t alone, Charlie. Why don’t you get some rest? We’ll figure everything out in a couple hours.”
“I don’t know how to thank you guys.”
“You don’t have to thank us,” Layla said as she crossed to me and kissed my brow. “We’re your friends. No matter what.”
“You can take my room that way the monsters don’t bother you,” Ember added.
I looked at my two friends and ordered myself not to cry again. “I don’t know how to thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank us,” Layla said cheerfully. “We fully expect payback whenever if and when our shit hits the fan.”
“I’ll remember that,” I said as I stumbled my way down the hall to Ember’s room.
I collapsed on her bed and wrapped myself in her sheets. As my eyes shuttered closed all I could think about was Liam. Too tired to cry anymore, I hugged a pillow close to my chest and fell asleep imagining it was him I was holding instead.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Liam
I drove around in the rain for hours looking for her. I checked all of her favorite hangouts, her job. I even arrived for her first early-morning class, but she wasn’t there and none of her other classmates had seen her.
Walking back to my truck, having no idea where she could be, I was damn sure I couldn’t get any lower. My phone beeped with a message.
TRIPP: Yeah, I’ve seen her. Ember mentioned Charlie’s staying at her place for a couple days. Why, what’s up?
ME: Thx, man. I’ll explain later.
The screen went black in my hands as I sat in the cab of my truck with the rain pouring down. I slammed the phone against the steering wheel until I heard something crack and then threw it in the floor well on the passenger side.
“Fuck!” I shouted.
I never wanted to hurt her. I promised myself before this ever started that I wouldn’t. The look on her face…I’d rather she’d scream at me…hit me…anything other than the look she gave me before she left. Like I’d betrayed her.
I drove home in a fog, barely noticing the downpour, and only making it there out of pure luck. Her parking space was empty. The house was quiet without her in it and I’d never no
ticed how much she seemed to fill the space until she was gone.
* * *
Two weeks.
Two weeks and I hadn’t heard from Charlie.
Well, other than to come home one afternoon after classes and realize some of her stuff was gone. I’d texted Tripp and he confirmed Ember and Layla had come by to pick up some of her things. I could barely spend any time in the house without being bombarded with memories of her.
I took a page from her book and fled for the first weekend I had free from my new job. I couldn’t stand coming home and her not being there with food on the stove and a smile the second I opened the door. My bed was cold without her splayed across it. For a guy who’d spent several years chomping at the bit to leave a house full of women, I found myself aching to have her back.
And it pissed me off.
I tempted highway patrol by speeding the whole way home, but I didn’t pass the first trooper. It left me itching for a fight.
And I knew just where I could get one.
Orange dust streamed behind me as I drove a little too fast on the dirt road that led to what was soon to be someone else’s land. The thought didn’t help me calm down. I ground my teeth together and knotted my hands on the wheel, the leather scrunching in protest under my fists.
I pulled into the front yard and parked next to my dad’s truck. He was home. Good.
Metal shrieked as I slammed my door, but instead of my dad greeting me at the door, I found Grandma Dorothy, her round face upturned as she grinned in pleasure.
“Liam!” she said. She hadn’t recognized me without prompting in longer than I could recall and it stopped me in my tracks on the top step. “It’s so good to see you.”
The hinges of the screen door groaned as I pulled it open to wrap my arms around her waist. She only came up to my chest, but when she encircled my waist with her arms, I felt seven-years-old again. Except she couldn’t heal all my hurts with Kool-Aid and cartoons anymore.
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 16
