“God, Tripp, I don’t mean to blubber all over you like this. I’m sorry. You look exhausted. You should go get some sleep.”
She made to move away, but I hooked her arm. “No, c’mon. Tell me what’s going on. I’ve got time.” Time for you echoed in my head, unsaid.
Ember wiped at her nose. I was a piece of scum for noticing how beautiful her eyes were, even when she was crying. “Are you sure?”
It was the hopeful upturn in her voice that had me nudging her shoulder with my own. “I wouldn’t say so if I wasn’t.”
She sighed heavily, and I was struck, as I always was, by how quiet the apartment was without her mother’s soap operas blaring or her father shouting demands from his place on the couch. The twins were mute in comparison to their parents.
Ember started recounting what had happened with Chris. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard her complain about him, and I wasn’t entirely convinced it would be the last. I’d been keeping my feelings about the asshole to myself as long as they’d been dating. It wasn’t my business. She was a big girl and could make her own decisions. But it burned me to hear how easily he’d squandered his chance with her. It only confirmed that he didn’t deserve her.
Not that I did, either, but that was beside the point.
“I wouldn’t be such a wreck right now if I hadn’t gotten a phone call from my neighbor saying Mom had split. I tried getting a hold of her, but her cell is out of service, and Dad is naturally nowhere to be found. She left the twins at home, hysterical and terrified. It took me forever to calm them down. We had a million calls last night, and all I want is a long, hot shower and a four-hour nap, but she dropped this in my lap. Trade parents with me?” she pleaded.
If I could, I would in a heartbeat. My parents were about as boring and kind-hearted as anyone could hope for. They’d supported and encouraged my dream to become a baseball player my whole life. Married for thirty-four years, they were the epitome of stability and understanding. The complete opposite of Ember’s.
I couldn’t imagine growing up the way she had, essentially raising herself and then caring for twin sisters when she should have been enjoying her life. It made me admire her all the more for her determination and will. Instead of following her own dreams, she’d gotten a job straight out of high school to support her family, first as an aid at the hospital and then working nights while she went to school to become an EMT, all while helping to care for her sisters.
I’d never had to deal with anything like that on my own. My parents were always in my corner, cheering me on and supporting me. Ember, on the other hand, had always had to support herself.
Knowing her kitchen almost as well as my own, I decided it was time for someone to take care of her for a change. “Don’t move,” I ordered and went to make her a drink. “What about your dad?”
She sighed heavily. “I tried calling him after she hung up on me, but he didn’t answer. Naturally. Sometimes I wish they’d disappear. Then, it wouldn’t be this constant back-and-forth rollercoaster all the time.” Her head drooped, and she studied her hands in her lap. “That’s a terrible thing for me to say, I know.”
I made a tall glass of iced tea and sat the glass in front of her on the coffee table. “I won’t tell anyone. Besides, what they do to you isn’t fair. I’d say you’re allowed to talk shit every once in a while. What are you going to do?”
With her schedule of a twenty-four-hour shift every third day, Ember normally watched her sisters on her day off, and one of her parents would watch the twins after school on the days that she worked. It hadn’t been easy for her to convince them to do that. I remember the blowup. They had wanted her to work, but they hadn’t wanted her work to take away from her watching her sisters either. I had been able to hear it all because my apartment was right next to hers. In fact, we shared a bedroom wall. I had heard them yelling at her for hours that night.
With both of her parents gone, it would mean she had no one to watch them on her over-nights.
“What about my parents?” I offered as the thought popped into my head.
My mother was a retired grade-school teacher, and my father owned a home improvement store. We’d been trying to convince him to let someone else take over, but he was determined to work until he had one foot in the grave. These days, my mother spent a lot of her time working with education-based charities or tending her award-winning flower garden.
Ember drained the glass of tea and then shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. I can find the money for a babysitter or daycare somewhere. Do they even have those overnight?”
“I’m serious. Mom isn’t working. She has a lot of free time. I’m sure if I asked, she wouldn’t mind. In fact, this might be perfect.” Before she could object, I said, “At least let me ask her before you say no.”
Her eyes were no longer red from tears, but there were dark blue smudges underneath them. Strands of flame-colored hair fluttered around her neck and shoulders where it had come out of her messy bun. The shapeless, almost tactical, pants and faded, dark-blue shirt emblazoned with her station number did nothing to showcase the bombshell figure underneath.
But I’d never found her so sexy.
“. . . but I don’t want to make it a permanent situation,” she was saying. I forced myself to tune back into the conversation. “You can ask them, but don’t make them feel obligated. In the meantime, I’ll try to make more permanent arrangements.”
“I’ll call them after I finish practice, but I promise they won’t mind. They like you better than they like me, remember?”
This made her laugh. “Shut up. Your parents love you. It’s almost hard to watch. Every time you come home, it’s like you haven’t been home in years. King Tripp,” she teased, then glanced at her phone and cursed. “It’s so late. I shouldn’t have kept you here for so long. You need to sleep. Thank you for helping me, but now you need to get going.” Ember got to her feet and pulled me to mine, shoving me to the door.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can call Coach Taylor tomorrow and tell him I’m sick or something. Probably the flu from one of the brats.”
Ember laughed. “I’ll make sure to tell them you said that.”
My heart eased at seeing the smile, however brief, flirt across her lips. “I’ll stop by after practice tomorrow to check on you guys.”
“You don’t have to do that. We’re fine. My parents have gone on benders before. It was a lot of things at once, and, apparently, I need to take a nap before I break down and cry on anybody else.”
I reached up and tugged on a loose lock of her hair, causing her to smack my hand away. “You can cry on me anytime,” I said.
I thought about her when I went to sleep in my room that shared a wall with hers. Which wasn’t new. I thought about her all the time.
It wasn’t really a secret, either.
Which somehow made it even worse.
Chapter Five
Ember
“When is Mommy coming home?” Molly asked.
How was it that children could be so innocent and so intuitive at the same time?
I decided the best course of action was honesty. The girls knew what our parents were like, and I felt that they didn’t need another adult in their lives who lied to them. Of course, I didn’t know if telling them the truth was the proper course of action, but I was doing my best.
“I don’t know, sugar bean. She…had some plans, and they must have taken longer than she anticipated. But don’t worry, we’ll do something fun today to pass the time.”
Explaining it to them when she didn’t come back tomorrow or the day after or the day after that would be a little more difficult.
Tillie shared a look with her sister. “What about Daddy? He didn’t come home last night either.”
They were too smart for their own good. I knew it, and yet sometimes I took how much they absorbed for granted. Kneeling down, I cupped both of their cheeks.
Their eyes watered, and I pulled them close, my heart aching for them.
“Do they not love us anymore?” Molly asked, her voice wobbly. Tillie sniffled in my ear on the other side.
My heart broke into tiny little pieces. No child should ever have a reason to ask such a question. I held them tighter. “Of course they still love you. Who wouldn’t?”
“Then why would they leave us?” Tillie asked. “Were we being bad?”
I would have gladly ripped my parents to shreds as I listened to the twins’ questions and allayed their fears. It had never bothered me how inattentive and downright negligent our parents were when I was growing up. I hadn’t known any different.
“This isn’t about you,” I said firmly. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t want to hear you say that again. You two are perfect. I don’t ever want to hear you thinking it’s your fault again.”
Next time I saw either of my parents, they were going to get an earful. I’d never truly stood up to them before. They somehow always managed to convince me things would change, and nearly a dozen years later, they were the same as they had been when I was the twins’ age. It wasn’t fair to any of us.
Molly pulled back and clutched her sister’s hand. “We’re sorry the lady had to call you in from work. We tried to be brave, but it was so dark, and we kept hearing creepy noises, and we got scared.”
“You don’t have to apologize for calling me, sweetheart. You did the absolute right thing. It’s not safe for you two to be home alone. You don’t worry about work; that’s my job. Now, let’s get you two dressed for the day, get some breakfast, and maybe we’ll go down to the park?”
Their eyes brightened. “Will you push us on the swings?” Molly asked.
“Of course, sweetheart. Now, do you two want pancakes or scrambled eggs?”
* * *
The time at the park helped us all unwind and take some space from the stress. I’d texted and called both of my parents about a dozen times but without any answer aside from the one hangup from my mom. It was a fruitless endeavor, but, for the first time, I wasn’t sure what to do.
I didn’t want to think about it too directly, but I knew this could be considered child abandonment. Taking custody of the girls had always been at the back of my mind, a seed of doubt I’d never really nurtured. Perhaps it was time to fertilize that seed and put it in some fresh air with a little sunlight. Maybe it would wither and die, but…maybe it would bloom.
It did my heart some good after the stress the night before to see them laughing and playing, seemingly worry-free for now. All I knew was I didn’t want them to grow up like I had—too soon. They deserved to have a childhood, to worry about kid issues—not whether we had electricity or hot water or enough money for groceries. Sometimes I felt like I was failing them because supporting the household wasn’t without struggle but seeing them laugh and smile made it worth it. I was starting to think that maybe having our parents around them did more harm than good.
Taking legal custody of them had always been a terrifyingly permanent solution, one I wasn’t sure I was totally ready for, but maybe it was time. What would happen the next time my parents abandoned them? What if they got hurt, or sick, or—God forbid—died because of their negligence?
I couldn’t bear the thought.
For the time being, I pushed it to the back of my mind. Surely, with some time, my parents would be back, and everything would go back to normal. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it was all I knew.
If they didn’t come back…well, I’d deal with that when the time came.
I had my plate full enough as it was. Work had given me a couple of days to get my bearings, and I’d emailed my professors, who were being lenient. Things would have to eventually go back to normal—whatever that meant.
The girls were settled in front of the TV watching Mulan, which allowed me a moment to rest. It felt like I had been going nonstop ever since I’d gotten the phone call from Lennox. I had my feet propped up on the couch and was considering what I’d make for dinner when I received the first text. My heart spiked for a moment, thinking it could be Chris.
The spike of adrenaline eased somewhat when I saw Tripp’s name. Relieved, I unlocked my phone.
TRIPP: How are the monsters?
I smiled at my phone. The one bright spot throughout everything, besides the girls themselves, was Tripp. I didn’t know what I’d do without him.
ME: Terrorizing the village. We just got back from the park. Almost time for dinner.
Now that the apartment was relatively silent, it gave me way too much time to think. With the go, go, go of the past twenty-four hours, the breakup with Chris had been pushed to the bottom of my list of worries. As the quiet began to seep into my bones while the girls watched the movie, the self-doubt and sorrow began to creep back in.
Was it wrong of me to lean on Tripp when I was feeling so alone? I wasn’t sure. He’d wanted to go out with me when we’d first met, just after the girls were born, but it hadn’t been the right time. Besides, what kind of eighteen-year-old would have wanted to be saddled with a girlfriend who had twin babies?
Not that a girlfriend is what hotshot Tripp Wilder would have wanted at the time.
No, he should be with someone who didn’t have the strings I did. That’s why I had turned him down back then, and it was probably why I was so keen on dating Chris long distance. And look how that turned out.
TRIPP: It’s Taco Tuesday!!!
I snorted but didn’t immediately reply. Normally, Charlie, Layla, and I got together to unwind with tequila and girl time on Tuesdays. Then Liam had joined. And then Dash. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that we would be getting together with everything that had been going on. It reminded me that I would need to update them on my parents, but I wasn’t sure how to tell them. They didn’t have perfect home lives, but they’d had enough drama of their own for so long that they didn’t need mine, too.
ME: I can’t leave the kids and I’m not up for a big crowd right now. Sry. Maybe next week.
Plus, I wasn’t able to face Charlie and Layla yet. They’d been telling me for a long time that Chris wasn’t worth the trouble. I hadn’t wanted to listen. The last thing I needed to hear was I told you so.
However, a healthy dose of tequila sounded like heaven.
Less than a minute later, I received another text.
TRIPP: Just you and me and the kids. I’ll get the shit for virgin daiquiris for them. You have the stuff for tacos? Participation isn’t optional, angel.
Was this taking advantage of him? It felt like I was flirting with the line of propriety. I knew how he felt about me, and I valued him as a friend. Now more than ever, I didn’t want to lose him.
I typed out a text to alleviate my guilt somewhat.
ME: You really don’t have to do that.
I was more relieved than I should have been when I got his next text. It was really selfish of me to accept his generosity, but a huge part of me didn’t want to be alone now, either. And Tripp was always so good at cheering me up. I’d just need to be careful to make sure we kept everything platonic.
TRIPP: All I heard was ‘Yes Tripp.’ I’ll see you at six.
I snorted and texted him my excuses again, but he didn’t answer—and likely wouldn’t. There was no talking Tripp out of something once he’d made up his mind. Locking him out wouldn’t work either. He had a key for emergencies.
ME: Fine. I’ll make tacos. But I’m putting guacamole on every single one of them to spite you.
He sent kissy faces in return to let me know he didn’t take me seriously. While the girls played quietly—a miracle in and of its
elf—I pushed myself to my feet and retrieved the things I’d need to make tacos. I always had the ingredients on hand because they were my favorite. I liked to pin it on the girls, but I’d eat them all day every day if it were up to me.
As the meat sizzled in the pan, I grated cheese and chopped up tomatoes, avocados, and lettuce for the toppings. This simple routine, like going to the park, kept me from thinking too deeply about my problems. Tripp’s text had come at the perfect time and had kept me from sinking into a world-class sulk.
If my heart thrilled a little when he knocked on the door, it was only because I was excited for tacos, not because I was excited to see him in any way other than as a friend.
Tillie and Molly squealed in excitement, launched themselves from their place on the floor, and threw their arms around Tripp’s middle.
“Tripp!” they shouted in unison.
“You’d think I was chopped liver,” I muttered as I wiped my hands and joined them in the living room.
“Oh no,” Trip said, overhearing my comment. “You’ve already perfected the art of mom guilt.”
“Ha, ha. Very funny. You two go wash your hands. It’s time for dinner.”
“What are we having?” asked Molly.
“Tacos,” I answered.
They shrieked again and ran down the hall, their footsteps echoing behind them.
“They don’t take after you at all,” Tripp said.
“Shut up. How was practice?”
He brought the bags into the kitchen and started mixing the ingredients for the drinks as I plated the tacos and toppings on the table. Lifting a shoulder, he said, “It wasn’t too bad. They released the schedule for this year. First game is in February, a double-header against Maine.”
Tripp didn’t like to talk about baseball with me too much. I didn’t mind. It wasn’t exactly my milieu, but I was always a little curious about that side of his life. The side where he traveled across the U.S. pitching for a championship team, being fawned over by stick-thin coeds with lives as apple pie as his.
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 39
