Was it the recent heartbreak that had me clinging to Tripp for the attention and affection he so readily gave?
If so, I was being a shitty friend. Sending mixed signals. Being needy and wishy-washy.
“Am I a terrible friend?” I asked.
His fingers drifted from my hair down to squeeze my shoulder. “What makes you say that? Of course not.”
I couldn’t very well tell him that I was thinking about jumping his bones because I thought it would soothe all the hurt away, so I said, “I’ve been so selfish recently. I just want to make sure I’m not taking advantage of you.”
Was it my imagination—or perhaps desperate hope—or did his grey-blue eyes light up at the thought? My skin prickled with heat, and my nipples beaded under my shirt.
How had I gone all this time and not realized how incredibly kissable his lips were?
He coughed and shifted on the couch. “You’re not taking advantage of me, angel.” The words were innocent, but my fevered brain wondered if he’d mind if I did take advantage of him.
I needed help. Clearly.
Maybe I was having some sort of mental breakdown.
“You sure? You can tell me if I’m being too crazy or whatever.”
“Shut up,” he said affectionately. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t put up with your crazy?
“A sane one,” I answered.
“Then I guess we’ll be crazy together.” He tugged at my hair, then rubbed a hand down my arm. “Since you’re keeping me prisoner, wanna watch a game till the twins get home? I know how much you love sports.”
I nodded, but I was only half listening.
That’s what I liked about him. What I’d liked since we first met. He never backed down when things got too intense. Even when I thought the drama of my life would scare him away, he was always there. Patient. Kind. Unassuming. Totally different from the arrogant jerk I’d initially thought he was.
He settled back into the couch and propped his feet up on the footstool, his arm thrown companionably over the back behind me. It could have been suggestive, but with him, it felt right. It felt natural. There weren’t butterflies in my stomach, so to speak.
They were more like fireflies. Lazy, fat, meandering fireflies that emitted a warm, bright glow. The light filled me from the inside out.
“You paying attention, angel? The Falcons are playing. I know how much you can’t wait to see me on the field in that uniform.”
I smiled at his off-hand comment. Well, he was still an arrogant jerk, but maybe people weren’t always so black and white. He could be arrogant, but he could also be spectacularly kind and gentle, especially with the twins.
And—I’ll admit—with me.
At first, I thought it was a ploy to get in my pants. It wouldn’t have been the first time a guy tried to be nice and considerate only to pull a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde deal once the sun came up. But even when I had turned him down, even when one year had passed, then two, then three, he was still the same old Tripp. Maybe a little more settled than the skirt-chaser he’d been as a freshman. But he was still Tripp.
Still the boy who’d always made me feel…more right in my own skin.
I couldn’t help but compare him to Chris, my one and only long-term relationship.
With Chris, it had been nice, not fireworks like I’d imagined, but I’d liked giving him pleasure. I liked the connection forged during intimacy. But it’d never been…I don’t know…entirely comfortable. Now that I thought about it, sex had always been about making sure his needs were met instead of exploring ours together. He’d certainly never made my pleasure a focus.
Not how I was imagining it’d be like with Tripp.
I let my mind wander, letting myself consider being with him in a way I never had before. How gentle he’d be, but at the same time, how thorough and demanding. There’s no way he’d ever let me stop without coming first, like he’d said. I could almost see the intensity his expression would hold as he watched me tip over the edge.
It was wrong.
But it felt so right.
I shifted on the couch beside him, glancing to make sure he didn’t see how clearly turned on I was becoming. Even in the thin camisole and yoga pants, I was overheating. Thankfully, he was engrossed in the game on the TV and wasn’t paying me any mind.
At some point, his arm had drifted down to my shoulder, and he’d begun twirling my hair in his fingers. This time, I couldn’t stop the shiver. Automatically, he shifted closer as though to share his warmth to alleviate the chill.
The fireflies in my stomach doubled. No, quadrupled.
Did it make me a terrible person because I wanted to lose myself in him? I wanted those strong arms around me, wanted to wrap myself in the comfort he offered, to blot out everything going wrong in my life. Aside from the twins and my friends, he was the one bright spot. How had I not seen it? Maybe I’d been too afraid to look too closely.
“You’re staring at me,” he said, and I blinked. At some point, he’d stopped watching the game. Probably around the time I had started fantasizing about him.
My cheeks heated. “I’m sorry. I’m totally zoning out.”
“That’s alright, angel. You’ve got a lot on your plate.” His trademark Cheshire grin softened, and I made a split decision.
I kissed him.
I blamed the fireflies.
The moment our lips touched, I knew it was a mistake, but that didn’t mean I pulled away. No, pulling away was an impossibility. I was helpless to correct it.
I’d be lying if I said I’d never fantasized about kissing Tripp before. Especially in the beginning, when it was harder to resist him after we first met. But this kiss? This kiss…was worse than anything I could have ever imagined.
Because I never wanted to stop.
Tripp, however, didn’t have the same problem. His hands, which were buried in my hair, cradled my head as he shifted backward. “Ember?” He opened his mouth, but no other words came out. It was as though he knew if he said anything else, it would break the spell that had surrounded us since our lips touched.
A heartbeat passed, and the sound of it blotted out my sense of reason.
We reached for each other at the same time, a synchronized movement we hadn’t planned. Our lips met, needy and inevitable. Desperation superseded finesse, and I climbed into his lap without any thought for grace or seduction.
The announcer on the TV blared in the background, but as Tripp’s hands drifted down to dig into my hips, the sound faded into oblivion.
There was only us, and nothing had ever felt so right.
Tripp broke off, breathing heavily. “Wait, stop. What are we doing?”
I tugged him down, twisting so that his weight was on top of me, pressing me into the couch. When he dodged my lips, I made do with his throat. His skin was salty and sweet. Like caramel popcorn. I loved caramel popcorn. I licked up his throat to his ear. When I reached it, I breathed, “Shh. Less talk, more kissing.”
“Em, you don’t mean that.”
My hand found the vulnerable skin at his waist that was bared by his shirt. I slid my hand underneath, my fingers grazing the dusting of hair on his belly that I knew would be golden brown. God help me, but I wanted to nuzzle in it. Lick my way down beneath his jeans. I wondered if the hair there was dirty blonde, too.
“I mean it, probably more than I’ve meant anything in a long time.” His words ended on a harsh inhalation as my hands found his waistband and danced underneath. “You’re confused because of Chris. Ember, don’t. You’re going to regret this tomorrow.”
He looked down at me with a stern expression, but I barely heard what he was saying. “I’m not confused about anything,” I insisted.
When my hands continued to explore, he growled and pinned them on either side of my head. “Think about it. You’re kissing me. You. Kissing me. The one who basically turned me down for years. Years.”
“I don’t want to think about it. All I
do is think. All day, every day. This is the first thing that’s felt good in a long time.” I strained against him and watched his lashes flutter. “Doesn’t it feel good?”
“Hell yes it feels good, but that doesn’t mean we should be doing it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t that exactly why people do it?”
Tripp laughed and looked annoyed about it. “What’s gotten into you today?”
“Apparently, not you.”
Fine, if he wouldn’t move, I would. I lifted my hips so that he was positioned between them, where I could feel the bulge he couldn’t deny was there. He hissed again. “Ember, stop.”
“I don’t want to stop. That’s the point.”
“You didn’t say that a couple days ago. In fact, for the past few years, you’ve been putting the brakes on me pretty regularly.”
I frowned at him. Since when was he so logical and reasonable? “Do we have to analyze it? Everything in my life is so screwed up. The only thing I know I can count on is you. The only thing that makes me feel good aside from my sisters is you. If you don’t want me, then you can say so, and we’ll stop right here, right now, and go back to the way things were.” I stopped and swallowed hard. I hadn’t meant to say that. What if he didn’t want me? I wasn’t sure I could handle the rejection on top of what had happened with Chris. I was going to say more, but the words wouldn’t come.
“You can always count on me,” he said.
“Great. Fine.” Shame was beginning to heat my cheeks. “Will you let me up now?”
I closed my eyes and waited for him to comply.
Except he didn’t move away. I could still feel him everywhere.
“Tripp?”
“I’m thinking.”
“Could you think faster before I die of embarrassment?”
“What are you embarrassed about?”
“Can we not have this conversation while you’re on top of me? I can still feel your dick.”
“You’re the one who started it,” he said. “In fact, you were pretty persistent.”
“Can you not tease me right now?” His hips flexed, and my eyes flew open. “What are you doing?’
“Well, you told me not to tease you.” Tripp’s fingers linked with mine, his hold gentle. The heat from my face moved between my legs. “And I never leave a woman unsatisfied.”
“Tripp…”
“Hush, I’m trying to concentrate now.”
His head ducked, and his lips pressed against mine. I thought he’d be eager, dominating, but his lips were gentle, almost nonexistent.
It made me want more.
So much more.
Chapter Ten
Tripp
Sophomore Year
“C’mon, man,” Alex begged. “It’s the off-season. Coach Taylor is finally giving us a break. You’re killing me.” He threw himself onto my couch and gave me a puppy-dog look.
I didn’t look up from my homework, although I wasn’t taking in any of the words I was reading. My pen tapped repetitively against the desk. “I’m not doing shit to you. I said you should go, so fucking go.”
My urging did nothing to thwart Alex’s goal. Naturally. “It’s my first year in town, and you’re supposed to be my role model. Introduce me to all the hot spots. Be my wingman. It goes against the bro code for you to ditch me this way.”
“You’re a grown-ass man. You can get an Uber. Besides, what happened to all that game you said you had up north? Does that Yankee charm not work here in the South?” I spared a glance at him and grinned good-naturedly. The prick could have anyone he wanted. I didn’t know why he was complaining.
Alex wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, it works just fine. I just don’t see how you can waste such a prime opportunity on our first weekend off in months.”
Except it didn’t feel like a prime opportunity to me. I didn’t want to go out barhopping and get smothered by women. The thought would have been appealing a year ago, but now…
“Tripp, did you have a chance to—” Ember’s voice cut off as she barged into my apartment toting a twin on each hip. She smiled at Alex, who sent me a knowing smirk. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I can come back,” she offered.
Now, this was what I wanted, and hell if I knew why. She was complicated with a capital C, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. I’d take her, if she’d let me, complications and all.
Alex launched himself bodily from the couch to schmooze to her side. “Don’t apologize, sweetness. We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting. I’m Alex Lockwood. I play on the team with Tripp.”
The flare of jealousy in my chest had me taking a step back from the two of them. In the year since I’d known Ember, I’d come to terms with the fact that a relationship of any kind was out of the cards. That didn’t make seeing her getting hit on any easier. Least of all by my best friend. He knew about her and her about him, but she was so busy with her sisters and him with ball that they hadn’t really had the chance to meet.
Ember nodded since her hands were full. “Nice to finally meet you.” The twins wriggled and babbled away, fighting to get Ember to release her hold and let them down. “I’m sorry to interrupt. I’ll get out of your hair.”
“Let’s not be hasty,” Alex said smoothly. “Why don’t you come in?” Deftly, he maneuvered Tillie out of Ember’s hands. She watched him with an amused smile—the way she used to watch me. “Hey there, cutie.”
Tillie squealed and began to talk my ear off. When Alex smiled at Molly, Molly grinned, stuck her thumb in her mouth, and hid her face in Ember’s hair.
“Hey!” I said to Tillie. “I thought you were my girl!”
Alex heaved a fake sigh and said to Tillie, “Don’t worry, all the ladies fall for me eventually. Don’t let Tripp bother you.”
Tillie giggled, and Ember was beaming. “Don’t put any ideas into her head,” she warned. “She already thinks she runs the world.”
“Naturally,” Alex said and bounced Tillie on his hip. Coming from a big family, he was used to having children around. He might put on a big player front, but I always secretly thought the dude wanted the whole wife-and-kids deal more than most of the guys on our team. His parents, like mine, had been together forever. Just because he enjoyed women and partying didn’t mean that wasn’t his end goal.
Turning to me, Ember said, “I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I’ll only be a second, and then I’ll get out of your hair.”
She didn’t know how much I liked having her in my hair. I wished she’d stay there, make a little nest like a bird, and never leave. I cleared my throat. “What’s up?”
Molly had come out of hiding and was smiling shyly at Alex. “These two need a zookeeper. I can’t get anything done for their birthday party. I was going to ask if you’d had a chance to blow up their balloons, but I can see that you’re busy.” With the ease of someone who had cared for them their whole lives, Ember scooped Tillie from Alex’s grasp and arranged her on her free hip. “You two have fun, and we’ll see you later.”
Somehow, she managed to open the door and squeeze out before I could even cross the room. For a girl carrying two kids—and they weren’t little ones anymore, either—she could certainly move like lightning. She could have given some of the guys on my team a run for their money—literally.
Ignoring a pleading look from Alex, I followed quickly behind her.
“Em, wait up!”
She didn’t turn to look at me. “Don’t worry about it. You’re busy.”
“Not too busy for you,” I said and squeezed behind her into her apartment before she could shut the door in my face. I didn’t know what it was about her, but the more she pushed me away, the more I tried.
“I’m serious. Go enjoy your friend. You’ve had a long year. You should go enjoy yourself. Besides, what would all your groupies think if you turn into a homebody?”
“My groupies? Really, Em?”
“W
hat else am I supposed to call the chicks who hang around your apartment all the time? On game days, it’s like a friggin’ mob.”
So, she did think about me. “Jealous?” I asked and took Tillie from her arms when she began to wriggle for me. To Tillie, I said, “I think your sister’s jealous.”
“No,” Ember replied vehemently. “I’m not jealous.”
“C’mon Ember, be real with me.” I thought being on the mound during a championship game was nerve-wracking. It was nothing compared to waiting for her answer. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized it meant so much to me.
I was in trouble.
Instead of answering, she changed the subject. I tried not to look too disappointed. “You were going to leave your friends to come to the twins’ birthday party, weren’t you?” She didn’t sound as impressed as I thought she would. “Why would you do that?”
“What do you mean? You told me you needed help, so I’m here, helping.” It seemed like an easy conclusion, so I didn’t understand why she was looking at me like I had broken her heart.
“You were supposed to go out tonight with Alex, weren’t you? That’s why he was over at your apartment.” Her voice was accusatory, and her hip was cocked like she was spoiling for a fight.
I pushed a hand through my hair. “Yeah, he was going out to the clubs and wanted me to wingman for him. I told him no,” I added defensively, but that only seemed to make her even angrier.
Green eyes flashing, she said, “I didn’t ask you to do that, Tripp.”
“You didn’t have to ask me. I wanted to.” What the hell was going on here?
I thought it would make her understand, but it only seemed to her piss her off even more as I tried to explain. She shook her head. “That’s the problem.”
“You’re freaking out for no reason. I said I would help you, so that’s what I’m planning on doing.”
She frowned at me. “Stay here. I’m going to go put the twins down for a nap, and then we’ll talk.”
That didn’t bode well. I could only nod because there was no way I was walking away from her.
I sat on the couch because the recliner smelled like smoke from when her mom was around chain-smoking and watching her soap operas. My parents would have murdered me if they ever knew I had tried a cigarette in the tenth grade. The image of her mom was so outlandish I couldn’t wrap my brain around it.
Friend Zone Series Box Set Page 42
