'Hey sis, you okay?' Jensen asked as he got out of the beat old, red car.
'I'm just fine, I've been out walking,' I smiled.
'You look a little bit like an icicle, come on let's get you home,' Jade said concernedly.
I noticed the looks of joy and the smiles on their faces as we walked home, everyone was so freaking excited for tomorrow. Jensen pulled me to one side just before we got home.
'On our run, I managed to get Frankie something. What do you think?' He asked as he took out a tiny bag out of his pocket.
I opened the purple lace bag to find a pale pink crystal inside, a fine leather strap went through it and on the other side I saw the words, 'forever yours' inscribed on it.
'This is beautiful, what is it?' I asked.
'Jade said its called rose quartz, it represents love. I saw it and just knew Frankie would love it,' he beamed.
'She's a lucky girl,' I told him. I didn't tell him that I thought there was something going between Frankie and Delilah, I knew Frankie well enough to know that she'd be honest with him. As we got home I heard voices from inside, Frankie and Delilah's voices. We didn't mean to eavesdrop but we couldn't help it.
'She thinks there's something going on between us,' I heard Delilah say.
'That's crazy,' Frankie told her.
'Is it?' Delilah asked.
I saw the look on Jensen's face, he was distraught. He'd already lost her once, I didn't know if he could deal with seeing her with someone else. Luckily for him his fears were quelled.
'Yes it is, I know we've gotten close but I never stopped being in love with Jensen. He's the only person I love, I'm sorry,' Frankie told her.
'It's alright, listen I should go,' Delilah said sadly.
She came walking out, embarrassed but quiet. She didn't say a word as she walked passed us. As we all walked in, Frankie sat on the sofa looking sad.
'You alright?' Jade asked as the others made themselves busy.
'Yeah, I just hope I haven't lost a friend,' she replied.
'She'll be alright, don't worry. Besides tomorrow's Christmas, we should be happy,' Jade smiled.
'Ugh, I never was one for the holidays,' she groaned.
'Well I always was, Christmas at my house was always a big thing. The kids loved it, even as they grew older we still made it a holiday to remember.'
'So let me guess, you're going to ram Christmas down my throat until I enjoy it,' she joked.
'Damn right, now quit moping and smile.' I helped everyone else put away all the things they'd gotten, Tamara was her usual happy, jokey self. She was excited to have a day off from training, with Bridget's help she became a pretty good trainer.
'I can't wait for tomorrow's dinner,' Tamara said happily.
'Let me guess, it's turkey,' I laughed.
'Oh yea, you got that right. Vera's had the others fattening them up for months,' her mouth was practically watering.
'I'm so hungry I could eat one right now,' I said.
'You sure are eating a lot lately sis,' Jensen piped up.
'Must be the cold making me hungry,' I brushed it off.
'Yeah probably,' he replied. I didn't want to tell them, I couldn't even think about it but I knew, deep down I knew. I was pregnant, of course I hadn't taken a test but I'd not bled in two months, my boobs had grown a whole cup size and I was constantly hungry. I didn't know what to do, I had to find out for sure.
'Hey I'm going to try and talk to Ellen again,' I told them.
'Alright, just don't be gone too long. It's getting really cold out there,' Jade replied. Before anything Ellen was a doctor first, if I came in as a patient she'd have to see me. More than that, she would keep anything I told her a secret. I walked down to the hospital house, Ellen was still busy dealing with people who were sick. Luckily none were so sick that they'd die, I knocked on the door and walked in. Ellen looked at me with disdain as I walked in, she'd just finished dealing with a patient.
'Just take these pills for a few days and you'll be right as rain,' she told the old man, I think his name was Reginald.
He was one of the oldest people in Sanctuary, he was nearing seventy. Reginald was a tiny slender man with only a few strands of white hair on his wrinkly head. His face was wrinkled and so full of folds that his entire face moved when he talked, his blue eyes were so pale they looked dead. He wore an old brown suite, black shoes and one of those detective looking brown hats.
'Cheers love, we sure are lucky to have you here,' he said smiling.
He got up and walked out saying goodbye to us both as he did, Ellen stayed sat on her chair.
'I'm here as a patient,' I told her.
I closed the door and sat down, waiting for her to speak.
'What's wrong?' She asked unconcerned.
'Is everything we talk about confidential?' I asked nervously.
'Yes, you are my patient and I always keep things quiet,' she replied coldly.
'I think I'm pregnant, but I don't know for sure,' I said quietly. I expected a reaction of some sort, for her to tell me I was stupid or something, but instead she just said, 'here take this, I assume you know what to do with it,' and handed me a pregnancy test from the drawer.
'Yeah, where's the bathroom?'
'Upstairs, first door on the left.'
So I went and took the test, my hands were shaking and I felt my heart beating a million miles an hour. I took it back downstairs and put in on the desk, we both sat waiting for result.
'Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened before,' I told her.
I wasn't sorry, but having her be cold and avoid me was just one more thing I didn't need.
'Yeah I know, you've said that before. Look I get it, you had to do those things to survive but there are some lives that will never be the same again. Like Lola, Emily and Casey,' she said coldly.
'I know that, and if I could change things I would.' I stayed quiet after that, I knew nothing I said would make a difference. I twiddled my thumbs as I waited nervously for the result. A few minutes later I saw the look on Ellen's face, I didn't need to see the result I already knew.
'It's positive,' she told me sadly. I just took a deep breath, I had to get back to Nathaniel I just had to. I fell apart right there in her office, although it wasn't for the reasons she thought. She put her arms round me as I cried, 'you don't have to have this baby you know,' she said kindly.
'Of course I'm going to have this baby, it's MY baby. Just please don't tell my family, not yet,' I begged.
'You know I won't, but don't leave it too long,' she warned.
'I-I won't,' I replied. I walked back to the house, I tried to dry my tears I couldn't let the others see me upset. I would have to find my way back to Nathaniel, my baby needed a father and I needed him. By the time I got back, everyone was sitting at the table eating dinner. Tonight's food was mashed potatoes, veg and some chicken. Damn that smelled good, I took my place in the empty seat next to my brother.
'You sure took your time,' he said smiling.
'Sorry, me and Ellen just had a lot to talk about,' I told him.
'Have you two patched things up?' Jade asked concernedly.
'Yeah we have.'
'Good, I'm glad,' she replied. As I sat with them, watching them laugh and joke. I felt like a stranger sitting with them, they didn't know who I was any more. I wanted them to let me go, to realise that I couldn't stay with them. I could not be the girl they knew, but I still loved them. I wanted to keep them safe, when Nathaniel came for me he would kill them all to get me back. All I could hope was that when the time came, I could save both them and Nathaniel.
Chapter 19
Jensen
I woke up to the snow on Christmas day, for the first time in years I felt not just safe, but happy and free. I'd got a whole morning planned with Frankie. Jade and Tamara helped me plan the surprise. We all got up before Frankie did, Jade checked on her and told me she was still asleep. Luckily for me Brooke was a bit of a garde
ner, she'd grown some pretty beautiful winter blooming flowers and had let me have some for my surprise. I felt nervous about it, I'd only put the rest of it together last night. It felt right though, now that I knew how she felt about me I didn't have to worry so much. Jade went out early to get the flowers from Brooke, they were called Viburnum x bodnantense and were known as the dawn flower. There were small and pink with white on the bottom, I took them excitedly from Jade when she got back.
'Good luck,' everyone said.
'Thanks I replied nervously.' I made sure to have a wash and look my best, there wasn't many guys my age here so I had been given some more clothes. I looked in the mirror, my nerves getting worse by the minute. I was dressed in black trousers with a purple shirt and a black t-shirt underneath, Jade had even cut my hair last night so I looked well groomed. As I laid a trail of flowers from Frankie's room I kept thinking about the last couple of months. We'd spent so much time together, we were closer than we were before. On Halloween we sat, watching the sun set talking about our lives before all this.
We sat on the bench in the park, shivering from the cold. Neither us wanted to move though, we were content watching the sunset.
'You know my dad used to love nights like this, when we'd go on holiday he loved watching the sun set,' she said smiling.
'What were they like, your parents?' I asked softly. 'My mum was the worrier, she would fret if I was even a minute late. But my dad, he was the joker. He always made me laugh, he was the one who encouraged me to follow my dreams,' she said happily.
'They sound like good people.' 'They were, I can remember when I told them about Nikkita. My dad was born in a time when being gay wasn't accepted, but he was so proud of me. He and Nikkita got on so well, they were a lot alike you know. He travelled a lot in his younger years, he even spent some time in Africa. He'd sit and tell us all about his adventures,' she laughed.
'I'm glad you can talk about them like this.' After that we said nothing, I put my arm around her and she rested her head on my shoulders. She looked at me and for a moment I thought about kissing her, but Nikkita hadn't been dead a month and I didn't want to push her. So we just sat there watching as the sky grew darker, she took my hand and wrapped her fingers around mine. I stroked her hair as she tightened her grip on my hand, it wasn't a hard grip it was comforting.
There were other times like that since then, she confided in me a lot too. We'd speak alone on our bench at the park often, sometimes we'd just laugh and joke, other times she'd cry on my shoulder when she was having a bad day. After hearing what she'd said about her feelings for me yesterday, I didn't want to beat around the bush any more. I wanted to tell her, in the best way that I could, that I was still in love with her.
It had been almost three months since Nikkita died, I knew Frankie was still grieving and I think she'd always grieve for her, Nikkita would forever hold a part of Frankie that I couldn't touch, and that was okay. If Nikkita had still been alive, then I would have let them be together without me in the way and while I didn't at all feel glad that she was dead I couldn't help but think of what Jade often said. Everything happens for a reason. If we weren't meant to be, then she wouldn't be here with me.
I took a deep breath as I finished preparing her surprise. Once I'd finished laying the trail of flowers, I felt in my trouser pocket for the presents that I'd gotten her. Phew, they were still there. One of them I'd picked up on a run, the necklace. The other I'd gotten last night, Jade had given it to me. I was touched by her kindness, but she knew how much Frankie meant to me.
I heard Frankie get out of bed, I took a deep breath and stood by the stairs so I could greet her when she came down. I heard her laugh as she discovered the flower trail. I shakily held the remaining bunch of flowers as I waited for her to come down.
'This is just, beautiful,' she said stunned.
'I wanted today to be special,' I told her as I gave her the bunch of flowers.
'Why?' She asked still astounded.
'Well one, because its Christmas and two because I wanted you to know, how much I l-love you,' I replied stumbling for words.
I led her over to the sofa, I needed to sit down for this.
'You look so handsome, and I'm just wearing my pj's,' she laughed.
'You look beautiful no matter what. Here's your first present,' I handed the little purple bag to her.
'What's- oh my goddess this gorgeous,' the sight of her face lighting up as she looked at the crystal made my day.
'Look at the writing,' I told her gently. I saw the tears in her eyes as she read my hand carved inscription, she took her hand and placed it on my face. The look of love, warmed my heart. Time seemed to stop as she pulled me in closer. My breath quickened, my heart beat faster, I had missed the feel of her lips on mine. I didn't know how long we stayed wrapped in each other, but after a little while I pulled away. It was time for my next present, the one that made me really nervous.
'I've got one more surprise for you,' I said nervously.
'You don't need to give me any more, this is already enough,' she replied softly.
'I know but I-I want to, just do me a favour and close your eyes until I say otherwise,' I told her.
'Okay, if you insist,' she laughed.
As she closed her eyes I took out the present from my pocket and knelt down in front of her. I had this whole speech planned out, I took a deep breath as I spoke from my heart. 'In this world happiness is short-lived, we never know from one moment to the next if we're going to survive. But when you came into my life, I wanted to do more than survive, I wanted to live. And what I want more than anything, is to live out the rest of my time with you by my side.'
I could see the tears spilling down from her face, oh god, had I gone too far, was this too fast?
'You can open your eyes now,' I said nervously.
She saw the ring and looked at me smiling, tears down her face. She flung her arms around me, kissing me madly.
'Will you marry me?' I asked.
'Yes, oh goddess yes!' She exclaimed. I cried tears of relief and joy, I couldn't have been more happy than I was at that moment. Of course in typical fashion the others came walking in, they saw our smiles and immediately knew what her answer had been. I put the ring on her finger, it was a perfect fit.
'It suites you,' Jade said beaming.
'Wait this is your ring, isn't it? Frankie asked.
'Yes, but I offered it to Jensen and I want you to have it.'
Frankie got up and hugged Jade, both women stood there tears of joy on their faces.
'Congrats lad, I'm sure you'll make a fine husband,' Tamara beamed patting me on the back.
'I'm so happy for you two,' Maggie said as she hugged us both. As we stood celebrating I began to hear shouts from near the front gate, we all grabbed our weapons and ran out. So much for having a day of peace, I thought bitterly. Everyone else in the community had fled their homes and met Vera and the guards at the front gate, by the look on Vera's face I knew who was here.
'We just want Maggie, then we'll leave!' He shouted.
I looked at Maggie to see her fearful, scared expression.
'Just let him take me, save yourselves,' she said softly.
'Hell no, he's not getting you back,' I told her fiercely.
'I agree, he won't bully us,' Vera hissed.
'Where's the tall, blond girl? I've got someone here who wants to see her,' he shouted mockingly.
'I'm here,' Frankie called back to him as she stood in his view. I knew by the look on her face she'd expected this, but how? We all thought Nikkita was dead, yet here she was. Naked, bloody and beaten. Her hands were tied but her mouth and feet were free. Delilah clutched her friends as she wept at the sight of Nikkita.
'She's a bit broken, as you can see. But she's still alive, for now. Give me Maggie or she dies,' Nathaniel demanded smugly.
Frankie turned to look at me, she smiled in a way that told me to trust her. She walked closer to the gate, and as
if in a show of good faith he loosened Nikkita's ropes just enough so that she could reach the gate. There were tears in both Frankie and Nikkita's eyes, it wasn't until Frankie kissed her and whispered goodbye in her ear that I knew. She grabbed hold of Nikkita's head and held it as she shouted at Nathaniel.
'She might be physically alive, but I knew she was dead the moment you took her.' She took a deep breath and kissed Nikkita one last time before plunging the hidden knife she had concealed in her sleeve into Nikkita's head. Delilah fell to the floor in pieces, Jade and the rest of our family looked on with tears our eyes. Frankie had given up the woman she loved, to save my sister.
Despite the tears in her eyes, Frankie got up to face Nathaniel with a look of such fierce determination and anger that for a moment he looked rattled.
'That wasn't my girlfriend, you already killed the woman I loved. You won't get to me not with this,' she spat at him.
'You've got guts girl, I'll give you that. But I'm done playing, I want my woman back,' he said in a smug arrogant tone.
'Get lost you prick, you're not getting my sister back!' I screamed furiously.
'What are you waiting for boss, lets just attack,' Maddox hissed angrily. 'Now, now Maddox I think we should give these people one last chance to give her back,' Nathaniel reasoned.
'You ain't getting a single fucking woman from this compound, you hear me, you god damn fucking pricks!' Vera shouted.
'You got a mouth on you woman,' he laughed. 'But enough of this, now I'm a fair man, I'll give you one week to give her up. We'll be back then, if you don't give her back, I'll kill all of you!' He said as he ordered his men to leave.
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