by E. L. James
The concern etched on her pinched, pale face is almost my undoing.
Daddy.
I grab my jacket, purse, and briefcase. “I’ll call you if I need anything.”
“Do, please. Good luck, Ana. Hope he’s okay.”
I give her a small tight smile, fighting to maintain my composure, and exit my office. I try hard not to run all the way to reception. Sawyer leaps to his feet when I arrive.
“Mrs. Grey?” he asks, confused by my sudden appearance.
“We’re going to Portland—now.”
“Okay, ma’am,” he says, frowning, but opens the door.
Moving is good.
“Mrs. Grey,” Sawyer asks as we race toward the parking lot. “Can I ask why we’re making this unscheduled trip?”
“It’s my dad. He’s been in an accident.”
“I see. Does Mr. Grey know?”
“I’ll call him from the car.”
Sawyer nods and opens the rear door to the Audi SUV, and I climb in. With shaking fingers, I reach for my BlackBerry, and I dial Christian’s cell.
“Mrs. Grey.” Andrea’s voice is crisp and businesslike.
“Is Christian there?” I breathe.
“Um . . . he’s somewhere in the building, ma’am. He’s left his BlackBerry charging with me.”
I groan silently with frustration.
“Can you tell him I called, and that I need to speak with him? It’s urgent.”
“I could try and track him down. He does have a habit of wandering off sometimes.”
“Just get him to call me, please,” I beg, fighting back tears.
“Certainly, Mrs. Grey.” She hesitates. “Is everything all right?”
“No,” I whisper, not trusting my voice. “Please, just get him to call me.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I hang up. I cannot contain my anguish any longer. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I curl up on the rear seat, and tears ooze, unwelcome, down my cheeks.
“Where in Portland, Mrs. Grey?” Sawyer asks gently.
“OHSU,” I choke out. “The big hospital.”
Sawyer pulls out into the street and heads for the I-5, while I keen softly in the back of the car, muttering wordless prayers. Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay.
My phone rings, “Your Love Is King” startling me from my mantra.
“Christian,” I gasp.
“Christ, Ana. What’s wrong?”
“It’s Ray—he’s been in an accident.”
“Shit!”
“Yes. I am on my way to Portland.”
“Portland? Please tell me Sawyer is with you.”
“Yes, he’s driving.”
“Where is Ray?”
“At OHSU.”
I hear a muffled voice in the background. “Yes, Ros,” Christian snaps angrily. “I know! Sorry, baby—I can be there in about three hours. I have business I need to finish here. I’ll fly down.”
Oh shit. Charlie Tango is back in commission and last time Christian flew her . . .
“I have a meeting with some guys over from Taiwan. I can’t blow them off. It’s a deal we’ve been hammering out for months.”
Why do I know nothing about this?
“I’ll leave as soon as I can.”
“Okay,” I whisper. And I want to say that it’s okay, stay in Seattle, and sort out your business, but the truth is I want him with me.
“Oh, baby,” he whispers.
“I’ll be okay, Christian. Take your time. Don’t rush. I don’t want to worry about you, too. Fly safely.”
“I will.”
“Love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can. Keep Luke close.”
“Yes, I will.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.” After hanging up, I hug my knees once more. I know nothing about Christian’s business. What the hell is he doing with the Taiwanese? I gaze out the window as we pass Boeing Field-King County Airport. He must fly safely. My stomach knots anew and nausea threatens. Ray and Christian. I don’t think my heart could take that. Leaning back, I start my mantra again: Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay.
“Mrs. Grey.” Sawyer’s voice rouses me. “We’re on the hospital grounds. I just have to find the ER.”
“I know where it is.” My mind flits back to my last visit to OHSU when, on my second day, I fell off a stepladder at Clayton’s, twisting my ankle. I recall Paul Clayton hovering over me and shudder at the memory.
Sawyer pulls up to the drop-off point and leaps out to open my door.
“I’ll go park, ma’am, and come find you. Leave your briefcase, I’ll bring it.”
“Thank you, Luke.”
He nods, and I walk briskly into the buzzing ER reception area. The receptionist at the desk gives me a polite smile, and within a few moments, she’s located Ray and is sending me to the OR on the third floor.
OR? Fuck! “Thank you,” I mutter, trying to focus on her directions to the elevators. My stomach lurches as I almost run toward them.
Let him be okay. Please let him be okay.
The elevator is agonizingly slow, stopping on each floor. Come on . . . Come on! I will it to move faster, scowling at the people strolling in and out and preventing me from getting to my dad.
Finally, the doors open on the third floor, and I rush to another reception desk, this one staffed by nurses in navy uniforms.
“Can I help you?” asks one officious nurse with a myopic stare.
“My father, Raymond Steele. He’s just been admitted. He’s in OR-4, I think.” Even as I say the words, I am willing them not to be true.
“Let me check, Miss Steele.”
I nod, not bothering to correct her as she gazes intently at her computer screen.
“Yes. He’s been in for a couple of hours. If you’d like to wait, I’ll let them know that you’re here. The waiting room’s there.” She points toward a large white door helpfully labeled WAITING ROOM in bold blue lettering.
“Is he okay?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.
“You’ll have to wait for one of the attending doctor to brief you, ma’am.”
“Thank you,” I mutter—but inside I am screaming, I want to know now!
I open the door to reveal a functional, austere waiting room where Mr. Rodriguez and José are seated.
“Ana!” Mr. Rodriguez gasps. His arm is in a cast, and his cheek is bruised on one side. He’s in a wheelchair with one of his legs in a cast too. I gingerly wrap my arms around him.
“Oh, Mr. Rodriguez,” I sob.
“Ana, honey.” He pats my back with his uninjured arm. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, his hoarse voice cracking.
Oh no.
“No, Papa,” José says softly in admonishment as he hovers behind me. When I turn, he pulls me into his arms and holds me.
“José,” I mutter. And I’m lost—tears falling as all the tension, fear, and heartache of the last three hours surface.
“Hey, Ana, don’t cry.” José gently strokes my hair. I wrap my arms around his neck and softly weep. We stand like this for ages, and I’m so grateful that my friend is here. We pull apart when Sawyer joins us in the waiting room. Mr. Rodriguez hands me a tissue from a conveniently placed box, and I dry my tears.
“This is Mr. Sawyer. Security,” I murmur. Sawyer nods politely to José and Mr. Rodriguez then moves to take a seat in the corner.
“Sit down, Ana.” José ushers me to one of the vinyl-covered armchairs.
“What happened? Do we know how he is? What are they doing?”
José holds up his hands to halt my barrage of questions and sits down beside me. “We don’t have any news. Ray, Dad, and I were on a fishing trip to Astoria. We were hit by some stupid fucking drunk—”
Mr. Rodriguez tries to interrupt, stammering an apology.
“Cálmate, Papa!” José snaps. “I don’t have a mark on me, just a couple of bruised ribs and a
knock on the head. Dad . . . well, Dad broke his wrist and ankle. But the car hit the passenger side and Ray.”
Oh no, no . . . Panic swamps my limbic system again. No, no, no. My body shudders and chills as I imagine what’s happening to Ray in the OR.
“He’s in surgery. We were taken to the community hospital in Astoria, but they airlifted Ray here. We don’t know what they’re doing. We’re waiting for news.”
I start to shake.
“Hey, Ana, you cold?”
I nod. I’m in my white sleeveless shirt and black summer jacket, and neither provides warmth. Gingerly, José pulls off his leather jacket and wraps it around my shoulders.
“Shall I get you some tea, ma’am?” Sawyer is by my side. I nod gratefully, and he disappears from the room.
“Why were you fishing in Astoria?” I ask.
José shrugs. “The fishing’s supposed to be good there. We were having a boys’ get-together. Some bonding time with my old man before academia heats up for my final year.” José’s dark eyes are large and luminous with fear and regret.
“You could have been hurt, too. And Mr. Rodriguez . . . worse.” I gulp at the thought. My body temperature drops further, and I shiver once more. José takes my hand.
“Hell, Ana, you’re freezing.”
Mr. Rodriguez inches forward and takes my other hand in his good one.
“Ana, I am so sorry.”
“Mr. Rodriguez, please. It was an accident . . .” My voice fades to a whisper.
“Call me José,” he corrects me. I give him a weak smile, because that’s all I can manage. I shiver once more.
“The police took the asshole into custody. Seven in the morning and the guy was out of his skull,” José hisses in disgust.
Sawyer reenters, bearing a paper cup of hot water and a separate teabag. He knows how I take my tea! I’m surprised, and glad for the distraction. Mr. Rodriguez and José release my hands as I gratefully take the cup from Sawyer.
“Do either of you want anything?” Sawyer asks Mr. Rodriguez and José. They both shake their heads, and Sawyer resumes his seat in the corner. I dunk my teabag in the water and, rising shakily, dispose of the used bag in a small trashcan.
“What’s taking them so long?” I mutter to no one in particular as I take a sip.
Daddy . . . Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay.
“We’ll know soon enough, Ana,” José says gently. I nod and take another sip. I take my seat again beside him. We wait . . . and wait. Mr. Rodriguez with his eyes closed, praying I think, and José holding my hand and squeezing it every now and then. I slowly sip my tea. It’s not Twinings, but some cheap nasty brand, and it tastes disgusting.
I remember the last time I waited for news. The last time I thought all was lost when Charlie Tango went missing. Closing my eyes, I offer up a silent prayer for the safe passage of my husband. I glance at my watch: 2:15 p.m. He should be here soon. My tea is cold . . . Ugh!
I stand up and pace then sit down again. Why haven’t the doctors been to see me? I take José’s hand, and he gives mine another reassuring squeeze. Please let him be okay. Please let him be okay.
Time crawls so slowly.
Suddenly the door opens, and we all glance up expectantly, my stomach knotting. Is this it?
Christian strides in. His face darkens momentarily when he notices my hand in José’s.
“Christian!” I gasp and leap up, thanking God he’s arrived safely. Then I’m wrapped in his arms, his nose in my hair, and I’m inhaling his scent, his warmth, his love. A small part of me feels calmer, stronger, and more resilient because he’s here. Oh, the difference his presence makes to my peace of mind.
“Any news?”
I shake my head, unable to speak.
“José.” He nods a greeting.
“Christian, this is my father, José Senior.”
“Mr. Rodriguez—we met at the wedding. I take it you were in the accident, too?”
José briefly retells the story.
“Are you both well enough to be here?” Christian asks.
“We don’t want to be anywhere else,” Mr. Rodriguez says, his voice quiet and laced with pain. Christian nods. Taking my hand, he sits me down then takes a seat beside me.
“Have you eaten?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“Are you hungry?”
I shake my head.
“But you’re cold?” he asks, eyeing José’s jacket.
I nod. He shifts in his chair, but wisely says nothing.
The door opens again, and a young doctor in bright blue scrubs enters. He looks exhausted and harrowed.
All the blood disappears from my head as I stumble to my feet.
“Ray Steele,” I whisper as Christian stands beside me, putting his arm around my waist.
“You’re his next of kin?” the doctor asks. His bright blue eyes almost match his scrubs, and under any other circumstances I would have found him attractive.
“I’m his daughter, Ana.”
“Miss Steele—”
“Mrs. Grey,” Christian interrupts him.
“My apologies,” the doctor stammers, and for a moment I want to kick Christian. “I’m Doctor Crowe. Your father is stable, but in a critical condition.”
What does that mean? My knees buckle beneath me, and only Christian’s supporting arm prevents me from falling to the floor.
“He suffered severe internal injuries,” Dr. Crowe says, “principally to his diaphragm, but we’ve managed to repair them, and we were able to save his spleen. Unfortunately, he suffered a cardiac arrest during the operation because of blood loss. We managed to get his heart going again, but this remains a concern. However, our gravest concern is that he suffered severe contusions to the head, and the MRI shows that he has swelling in his brain. We’ve induced a coma to keep him quiet and still while we monitor the brain swelling.”
Brain damage? No.
“It’s standard procedure in these cases. For now, we just have to wait and see.”
“And what’s the prognosis?” Christian asks coolly.
“Mr. Grey, it’s difficult to say at the moment. It’s possible he could make a complete recovery, but that’s in God’s hands now.”
“How long will you keep him in a coma?”
“That depends on how his brain responds. Usually seventy-two to ninety-six hours.”
Oh, so long! “Can I see him?” I whisper.
“Yes, you should be able to see him in about half an hour. He’s been taken to the ICU on the sixth floor.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
Dr. Crowe nods, turns and leaves us.
“Well, he’s alive,” I whisper to Christian. And the tears start to roll down my face once more.
“Sit down,” Christian orders gently.
“Papa, I think we should go. You need to rest. We won’t know anything for a while,” José murmurs to Mr. Rodriguez who gazes blankly at his son. “We can come back this evening, after you’ve rested. That’s okay, isn’t it, Ana?” José turns, imploring me.
“Of course.”
“Are you staying in Portland?” Christian asks. José nods.
“Do you need a ride home?”
José frowns. “I was going to order a cab.”
“Luke can take you.”
Sawyer stands, and José looks confused.
“Luke Sawyer,” I murmur in clarification.
“Oh . . . Sure. Yeah, we’d appreciate it. Thanks, Christian.”
Standing, I hug Mr. Rodriguez and José in quick succession.
“Stay strong, Ana,” José whispers in my ear. “He’s a fit and healthy man. The odds are in his favor.”
“I hope so.” I hug him hard. Then, releasing him, I shrug off his jacket hand it back to him.
“Keep it, if you’re still cold.”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.” Glancing nervously up at Christian, I see that he’s regarding us impassively. Christian takes my hand.
Mr. Rodriguez raises his hand, and they pause in the doorway. “He’ll be in my prayers, Ana.” His voice wavers. “It’s been so good to reconnect with him after all these years. He’s become a good friend.”
“I know.”
And with that they leave. Christian and I are alone. He caresses my cheek. “You’re pale. Come here.” He sits down on the chair and pulls me on to his lap, folding me into his arms again, and I go willingly. I snuggle up against him, feeling oppressed by my stepfather’s misfortune, but grateful that my husband is here to comfort me. He gently strokes my hair and holds my hand.
“How was Charlie Tango?” I ask.
He grins. “Oh, she was yar,” he says, quiet pride in his voice. It makes me smile properly for the first time in several hours, and I glance at him, puzzled.
“Yar?”
“It’s a line from The Philadelphia Story. Grace’s favorite film.”
“I don’t know it.”
“I think I have it on Blu-Ray at home. We can watch it and make out.” He kisses my hair and I smile once more.
“Can I persuade you to eat something?” he asks.
My smile disappears. “Not now. I want to see Ray first.”
His shoulders slump, but he doesn’t push me.
“How were the Taiwanese?”
“Amenable,” he says.
“Amenable how?”
“They let my buy their shipyard for less than the price I was willing to pay.”
He’s bought a shipyard? “That’s good?”
“Yes. That’s good.”
“But I thought you had a shipyard, over here.”
“I do. We’re going to use that to do the fitting-out. Build the hulls in the Far East. It’s cheaper.”
Oh. “What about the workforce at the shipyard here?”
“We’ll redeploy. We should be able to keep redundancies to a minimum.” He kisses my hair. “Shall we check on Ray?” he asks, his voice soft.
The ICU on the sixth floor is a stark, sterile, functional ward with whispered voices and bleeping machinery. Four patients are each housed in their own separate hi-tech area. Ray is at the far end.
Daddy.
He looks so small in his large bed, surrounded by all this technology. It’s a shock. My dad has never been so diminished. There’s a tube in his mouth, and various lines pass through drips into a needle in each arm. A small clamp is attached to his finger. I wonder vaguely what that’s for. His leg is on top of the sheets, encased in a blue cast. A monitor displays his heart rate: beep, beep, beep. It’s beating strong and steady. This I know. I move slowly toward him. His chest is covered in a large, pristine bandage that disappears beneath the thin sheet that protects his modesty.
