by Leigh, Ember
“I missed you,” he said, his face only inches away, his hands searing a path over the exposed skin of her waist.
Her chest heaved as she fought to control her breath. He’d scared the shit out of her—and now she was insanely aroused. “Lex, what the fuck.”
He wet his bottom lip, moving her back against the wall. He pinned her there, his hands pressed against the wall on either side of her head. “Lila, I want to kiss you so bad.”
Her eyes drifted shut as she tried to think of a reason why not. She hadn’t even had the extra alcohol to smooth over this decision. She just wanted it—down to her core. “Lex.”
“You drive me wild, doll. You always have. And you still do.” He brushed his nose against hers. She whimpered. God, she needed this.
“Don’t call me that,” she forced out. “It makes it hard to say no to you.”
“Why do you want to say no to me?” He pulled back a little. The question was genuine.
“We already tried this once, Lex.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “It never works a second time.”
His jaw flexed as he thought, his gaze searing through her. “Says who?”
Her hand found his waist. He was rock-solid under his simple black tee—a sturdy foundation she desperately wanted to grab onto. “I don’t know. People do. It’s just…common wisdom.”
He scoffed. “Bullshit.” He lowered a hand to her neck, dragging his rough thumb over her jawline. “Everyone’s in control of their own story. That’s something you would have told me.”
Her eyes fluttered shut. Damn you, using my own words against me. “Yeah.”
“Besides, you want it, too.” He brushed his nose against hers, then brushed his lips against her cheek. “I felt you rocking on top of me out there. Lila knows what she wants.”
His words shuddered through her. He was the king of dirty talk. Her pussy clenched, and she knotted her fingers into his shirt at his low back. “I do, babe.”
Shit. The word had escaped her, without even thinking it. It was over. It had been over from the second she saw him at the gym.
She tilted her head up to look him in the eye. “Kiss me, Lex.”
Chapter 8
Lex pressed his mouth against Lila’s without a second of hesitation. Her flowery, sweet scent flooded him, the sweet tang of her breath, the tiny whimper that escaped her as their kiss turned into another and then another.
His whole body buzzed and crackled as they kissed. This couldn’t be real—it was the fantasy he’d been too scared to even hope for—so he pressed his fingers into the back of her neck to be sure. She moaned a little and arched toward him, tilting her head back, opening her mouth to receive his tongue.
They kissed sloppily and uninhibited, time receding into a distant blur of light and murmurs, as if nobody else existed. Lex came to when cheers erupted around them. He disconnected for a moment, drunk on kisses, blinking at the scene around them. Carlos and the party guests raised their glasses to them, hooting and hollering. Lex grinned and dove in for more.
Lila received him eagerly, hooking her arms around his neck, sealing his body against hers. He rubbed his hands up and down her body, smoothing a path over her ass, hands getting lost in the fabric of that long skirt. It would be nice to rip it off…hoist her against the wall. But not here. Even through the heavy fog of kisses, he knew that was a bad idea.
They parted, and he pressed his forehead against hers, drawing ragged breaths. “Fuck.”
She nodded, gulping. “Yeah.”
“Come here.” He grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the kitchen, heading for the bathroom. She trailed behind him, heels clicking over the floor. He needed way more face time with this woman than what they could appropriately snag in the kitchen, in front of everyone. He burst into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. He pinned her to the white-and-gray marble countertop with his hips. Bright globe lights lined the mirrors, illuminating this encounter in surreal clarity.
She smiled up at him, hooking her arms around his waist. “This is much better.”
He cupped her face in his hands, absorbing all the pretty angles of her face, the white-blonde hairs at her temples. “Much more platonic in here, huh?”
She grinned but socked him in the side. He pretended that it hurt, then covered her mouth with his. They kissed again and again, one kiss leading to another more desperate kiss, until she was yanking at his bottom lip with her teeth and he’d dug his fingertips into her ass cheeks.
He hoisted her to sit on the counter. She spread her legs, welcoming him closer, clawing at his lower back to draw him nearer. Lex held her at the hips, dizzy and drunk on her scent and warmth. When they broke for air, he let a low whistle.
“Damn, girl. It’s like you ain’t kissed anyone in years.”
Her chest heaved as she dragged her fingertips down the front of his chest. “I haven’t. I mean…I-I have. But not like this.”
“Right. You’re hungry.” He took a light bite at the apple of her cheek. She giggled.
She buried her face in his chest. “Lex, I missed this.”
Her confession stung, burrowed deep into his heart. What was this? Just the cream on top. They’d always been good at the good stuff. It was all the intensity and drama behind it that made things difficult. Did she miss that, too? He brought a hand to her head, stroking her hair lightly. “Me too, doll.”
She lifted her head, gaze darting over his face. “But this isn’t anything, you know? It’s just kissing.” A few heavy beats went by, dragging like a boulder. “We shouldn’t fool ourselves.”
He stilled his hand, studying the white swirls in the countertop. “Fool ourselves about what?”
“About this.” She rested her chin against the swell of his pectoral muscle. “It just feels good. That’s all.”
Her words were simple but rimmed with knives. He agreed with her as much as he disagreed. He worked his jaw back and forth, his finger tracing a lazy trail over the fabric covering her thigh.
“It feels real good,” he said, then still stilled his hand. “You think that means we shouldn’t?”
Indecision danced in her eyes. He could still read her like a book, and this book was a Choose Your Own Adventure with no fixed ending. They could stop now. Or they could drag this out to another painful ending. Maybe it was time for him to be the adult. The one who said no.
Maybe it was time for him to finally break through the Lila haze.
“I don’t know,” her voice came out a whisper.
“Maybe you’re right.” The words were spilling out before he could think better of it. “We should stop now. Before it gets messy.” He swallowed hard. The words sounded right but felt like someone else was saying them. “Before you leave me again and another five years go by and we have to meet up at some other gym in LA.”
It was only a half-joke. Her nostrils flared. “What makes you think I’d leave again?”
“You have a history.”
“Yeah, well, so do you.”
Her words fell like an axe, and the fight went out of him. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead against hers.
“Maybe we should just see where this goes,” he said, running his thumb back and forth over the black fabric of her skirt. This couldn’t be the end—not now. Not when it seemed like there was something so much bigger and better hovering on the horizon this time around.
Even if it was the worst mistake of his life…he wanted to try.
She tilted her head back, and they shared a heavy look. He brushed his lips against hers, achingly soft and tender. A small noise escaped her, and he kissed her again, thumb pressed into her jawline, wishing he could swallow her whole, preserve this moment between them forever.
“Jesus, Lex.” She cinched her arms tighter around his waist, sealing his groin between her legs. The heat there nearly made him black out. There had never been a girl who turned him on more than Lila. Hell, he could get off if he stood pressed against her long enough. Al
l the confusion and indecision between them evaporated. He flexed against her, his cock hard and seeking. There was only this. Only now.
She moaned low, clutching at his back, locking her ankles behind him. So she still knew exactly where she wanted this to go. Even if her rational mind begged to differ.
A knock at the door startled him out of their kiss. He turned his head to look at the door, wondering if maybe he’d imagined it. Knock, knock, knock. Nope, definitely had to be someone eager to pee.
They shared a scared glance. “Just a minute,” Lex called, loosening his grip on Lila, stepping away only slightly. “We should calm down,” he whispered, running his palm up and down the sides of her arms.
She jerked her head into a nod. “Yeah. We can’t be hogging the bathroom the whole night, making out.”
“I wish we could, though.” He grinned.
She shook her head, leveling him with her gaze. “You’re right. It’s time to cool it.” She sidled out from beneath him, running water over her hands. She sighed at her reflection, dabbing at the corners of her eyes. Lex ran the heel of his palm down the ridge of his cock. It had to go down soon—though being in a closed room with Lila wasn’t helping.
The knocking came again. Lex grimaced and headed for the door.
Hand on the knob, he said, “Coming.”
He glanced back at Lila, and she giggled. Lex pulled open the door, and an unknown party guest, hopping from foot to foot, faced him.
“Thanks, man, gotta pee!”
Lex eased out of the bathroom, and Lila followed suit. They ambled back to the kitchen, eyes on each other.
“No more kissing,” Lila said, X’ing her hands through the air. “It’s not allowed.”
“Fine.” They re-entered the clamor of the kitchen. Lila beelined for the wine table again, pouring another glass.
Travis and Amara drifted their way after a while, and lighthearted conversation erupted. But no matter what he did, no matter what he drank, he couldn’t get rid of the taste of Lila’s lips. The smell of her hair, the feel of her ass in his hands.
He wanted her more than anyone else, ever. And he wouldn’t rest until she gave him a second chance…until she saw just how good it could be with him, this time around.
* * *
Later that night, Lila quivered on the brink of breaking every rule she’d ever made for herself regarding Lex. Not only had she spectacularly embarrassed herself at a stranger’s party, she also let Lex know that what she said didn’t mean shit. So much for “platonic.”
And now, in his car on their way to her house, she needed to be strong. Extra strong. Stronger than she’d ever been in her entire life.
Because if she needed anything, it was time. Time to process how she truly felt. To let all the strange, fascinating sediment of the past week settle in and take its proper form. Let it shift from mutant to neighborhood freak. So then she could ask herself…did she really want Lex?
“Yes” reverberated inside her. Forceful and raucous. But maybe that wasn’t the right answer.
It had to sit awhile. Even while her pussy throbbed for him. There was too much at risk if she allowed him back in. He might decide he couldn’t handle her new reality. Or maybe she’d discover that all this progress was a lie.
She couldn’t let him all the way in until she knew.
Electronic music pulsed as he drove on the freeway, streaks of light cresting the windshield. He looked over at her, reaching for her hand.
“I hope you liked the party.”
“I did.” She squeezed his hand a little. “A lot.”
“Yeah, me too.” He paused. “Lila, can I take you out on a date?”
Panic and excitement gripped her, rendered her mute. She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out.
“Whatever you want to do,” Lex added. “Even if we just go for a run together.”
She nodded before she could think better of it. “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.”
Pleasant silence settled over them, and he didn’t move his hand from her lap. It stayed there until he pulled into her apartment complex. And to her surprise, he didn’t park the car; he pulled right up to the door to let her out.
She looked over at him with wide eyes, and he spoke before she could say anything. “I know what you’re gonna say. So I won’t even bother.”
She laughed a little. “Good, then. Saves me the trouble.” Lila leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He caught her chin between his fingers and directed her lips against his, coaxing a passionate kiss from her. She whimpered, hooking an arm around his neck, unable to suppress the need for physical contact. They kissed a few times until she pulled away, drawing a shaky breath.
“Okay, enough of that.” She pushed open the door, stepping out, clearing her dress from the path of the door. “Good night, Lex.”
He smiled. “Night, doll.”
She slammed the door shut, steeling herself against the pet name as she headed inside her building. He’d called her doll since the very beginning, before they were even officially dating after high school. There was something so special and meaningful when he said it—something that cut to her core.
She stomped up to her apartment, eager to wash her face and let the events of the night settle around her.
The next morning Lila slept until her parents messaged her for the pickup. That was the routine—grandparents took her boy overnight a couple days a week to ride out the long hospital shifts. When she reached for her phone, a message from Lex awaited her.
“Hope you slept well…but you probably couldn’t fall asleep while thinking about me so much.”
A smile overtook her face, and she set the phone aside. Fucking Lex. He was right…and he knew it, which made it even more infuriatingly effective.
As she set her phone down, another text came through. Amara. “Girl, let’s talk when you’re up…I gotta know more about you and Lex!”
She immediately called Amara, ready for the girl talk. Some girlfriend clarity was more than necessary at this point. An outside perspective to help her find the right path.
Amara picked up after the first ring. “That was fast!”
“You messaged at the right time.” She rolled over in bed, stretching. “I just woke up.”
“Did Lex spend the night?”
“No. Surprisingly.” She laughed a little, eyes settling on the empty space beside her. “He’s not the type of guy who gives up easily, so I was shocked when he dropped me off without even trying to come up.”
“Sounds like he’s not giving up,” Amara said. “Just refining his approach.”
The girls laughed. “Yeah. I think you’re right.”
“You two were dripping with sex last night,” Amara said. “Oh. My. God. I was about to make you two leave so you could go do it.”
Lila buried her face in her pillow. “Shit. That’s not what I want to hear.”
“What? That’s a blessing, you know. To find someone who starts your fire like that. When everyone else can see it…that’s a good thing.”
Lila sighed. “Yeah. I just don’t want my fire started. It’s dangerous.”
“Now this is the part you need to fill me in on. Do you mean dangerous like…call-the-cops dangerous?”
“No.” She cleared her throat, sitting up, fluffing the pillows behind her. Of course that would be Amara’s first concern. “He’s never been violent with me. Nothing like that. Just dangerous like…he’s got a dark side. And I have my own. And maybe they don’t mesh well together.”
Amara hummed. “Makes sense for your attraction to be so strong. Sounds like you guys are like next-level chemistry.”
“Yeah, in all areas. But that includes the bad. And trust me, the bad was bad back in the day. We dated for two years, but I knew him for a couple years before we dated. Lex got into some rough shit. But it’s because he’s got that rough shit inside him.” She drew a shaky breath, memories flooding her. “I don’t know if I want to get
back into that, you know?”
“But don’t you think time has helped both of you? I mean, look at you. Yyou’re probably not the same girl you were five years ago.”
Lila paused. “Yeah, but I never got into the type of trouble he does.”
“What did he do?”
Lila arranged her covers over her lap, wondering how much she should reveal. “You won’t tell Travis, right?”
“If he doesn’t already know, then no. I won’t.”
Lila nibbled on her lips. “Well, let’s see then. Where do I begin? He has a slew of misdemeanors for provocation and inciting violence. Cocaine addict. Performance-enhancing-drug user. Gang member by proxy.”
“What?”
“He used to fight for a gang. He wasn’t in the gang, but he might as well have been.”
“Fight how?”
Lila’s stomach squeezed with the memories. “Lex was sort of their prize-winning dog, if you know what I mean. They’d send him out on fights and bet on him. He’d always win. Huge money maker. That’s around the time when I left him.”
Amara sighed through the phone. “Yeah. You did the right thing.”
A few moments of silence stretched between them. Lila picked at a seam on her comforter, wondering what else she could say. If she should admit the biggest piece of the puzzle or keep looking away like the coward she was.
“Travis used to be into dosing too,” Amara offered. “But there’s no way Lex is using if he’s at the gym. Travis would never allow it…he tests for it. Travis is the best man I know, and he hires only the best men. You know what I’m saying? So I don’t doubt Lex has this dark side. But I bet he’s also come a long way from it, too.”
Lila pinched her eyes shut. True. But is it worth the risk of finding out? “Right.”
“And damn…the way he looks at you, girl.” Amara laughed. “You two had half the party last night horny.”
