by Leigh, Ember
No scenario made sense in her head. Maybe he was using again, except he was way too lucid and laidback whenever they hung out. Maybe he’d been fighting underground for the past five years, except he probably wouldn’t still be alive if that were true. Maybe he just had a secret life she knew nothing about.
Considering the unknown depths of his hidden waters was a sobering exercise. She didn’t like thinking that he’d been hiding something from her, even though she’d been hiding the biggest thing of their lives from him. The double standard made more grief well up inside her. She was such a bitch. Probably he’d tell her to fuck off as soon as he woke up.
Maybe she deserved that.
Hours later, Jessa appeared at the door. Her face was expressionless, a trait Lila had perfected when delivering news to patients. Lila’s breath disappeared, her legs wooden as she moved toward Jessa.
“Tell me—” Lila clutched Jessa’s arm. “Is he…”
“Alive.” Jessa nodded. “And stable. For now. He’ll need to stay in ICU overnight until his blood pressure stabilizes.”
Relief whooshed through her. Jessa caught her by the arm, stabilizing her.
“The surgery was successful. Dr. Rich repaired a small laceration in his liver. Other than that, he’s just been recouping lost blood.”
“He got the…transfusion.” It was so hard to speak. Like her voice originated in another dimension.
“Yes. He’ll probably be awake soon.” Finally, a tiny smile curled the corner of Jessa’s lips upwards. “Would you like to go see him?”
Chapter 26
Lex’s throat was sandpaper. His first few moments of consciousness felt like the Big Bang beneath his rib cage, an explosion of sensations and heat and pressure that he couldn’t identify.
He cracked open an eye, his eyelids stiff. Everything felt wrong, like a Mr. Potato Head assembled ass backwards. The taupe wall of a hospital room; a benign image of a tree swathed in evening light under inspirational words: Live, Laugh, Love.
He grunted, summoning all the force within his limbs to move. Even an inch. Someone sighed at his side.
And there was Lila. Her heart-shaped face, creased in concern above him. Her smooth, cool palm enveloped his hand.
All he could do was stare at her.
“Lex.” She sounded like she’d been crying. Maybe he’d been out of it for a long time. Maybe she’d been worrying.
He tried to sit up. She pressed a hand to his chest to still him while she elevated the back of the bed. Once he was mostly up, she sniffed hard, pulling her chair in close.
“Can you talk?”
He drew a deep breath, his ribs feeling as though they were being pried apart like someone opening a clam shell. He stared at the taupe ceiling of the room.
“God. I hope it’s okay that I’m here.” Her normally singing, strong tone was timid. It almost didn’t sound like her. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”
He swallowed hard, his throat lined with knives. He spotted a glass of water just beside Lila on the bedside table. And that’s when it hit him, came crashing down around him as if he’d just jumped headfirst into the ocean.
He’d made it out alive. And the first person to be at his side was his Lila. He pinched his eyes shut, emotion swelling inside him. It was still too early to count his blessings, but this sure as shit gave him hope.
“I’m glad it’s you.” His voice came out low and forced. She relaxed slightly, her hand finding his again.
“Do you need anything?”
He dragged his gaze to meet hers. It was a simple question, one that had an even simpler answer. “You. And Lane.”
She drew a breath. Tears glistened in her eyes as she cracked a small smile. “That’s very nice to hear. But do you need anything right now?”
“Water.”
She stood, seemingly relieved. Taupe scrubs told him she might have never gone home from work. What time was it? He searched out the wall clock. Noon.
A pale blue hospital gown covered his torso. He was afraid to look underneath. The memories of the blood had followed him into his dreams. He might not sleep for weeks without imagining drowning in a pool of his own blood.
Lila returned and handed him a glass of water. She hugged herself, face creased with worry.
“Are you working right now?” He took a loud slurp of water.
“No.” She cleared her throat, fingering the edge of his thin pillow. “I’m on leave, actually.”
He downed the entire glass of water. Then burped. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve stepped away from my position.” There was that timid voice again. His chest tightened, and the machine hooked up to him started beeping.
“Lex. Your heartrate.” She tutted, reaching across him to silence the alarm. “I shouldn’t do that. But I don’t want them coming in here right now. I’m taking care of you.”
I’m taking care of you. Words that both placated and provoked. He wanted to be the one to take care of her. But if anybody had to take care of him, of course it would be her.
“On leave?”
“Take a deep breath,” she counseled, gripping his arm. “Don’t freak out.”
He did as he was told. When the number lowered, she went on. “It was the right thing to do. For right now, with what’s going on.”
The vagueness irritated him. “What does that mean.”
She avoided his gaze. “It’s complicated. And I don’t want to bother you with these details while you’re recovering.” She smoothed her hand over his forearm. “But I do want to know how the hell you ended up here.”
His eyes drifted shut. Knuckles’ words shivered through him again: We don’t work with losers. The stabbing was his equivalent of being fired. The Kings probably hadn’t expected him to make it out alive.
But he had. By the grace of God, or because he’d cashed in a billion strokes of luck all at once, or because maybe his own story wasn’t ready to be finished yet. Relief washed through him. He knotted his hand in the sheets. Lila shushed him, running a thumb over his cheek to wipe away tears he didn’t realize had spilled.
“It’s okay, babe. We don’t have to talk about it.”
He shook his head. “I can tell you.”
She straightened, and he practically saw her ears perk up.
“I couldn’t before.” He drew a long breath. “I didn’t want you to worry. Or get involved. And once you told me about Lane…I didn’t want him to know about me.”
Her mouth turned down at the corners.
“I didn’t want him to lose his dad…you know?”
Lila’s frown deepened. “I don’t get it.”
Lex deflated. “The second I found out about him, I wanted to make up for lost time.” He shifted on the bed, grimacing as his midsection began a dull throb. “But I couldn’t put myself in his life if I couldn’t stay there. I didn’t know if I’d make it out.”
“Make it out of what?”
He closed his eyes, trying to corral his thoughts. “The Kings.”
Lila was quiet for a long time. When he opened his eyes, she was shaking her head, gnawing on her lip.
“You told me you stopped doing all that,” she said in a low, wavery voice. “You seemed so good, Lex.”
“I was. I am.” He sighed, trying to sit up so he could sink into her, make her understand all the ways in which she wasn’t wrong about him. Pain shot through his abdomen, and he collapsed backward.
“Don’t move around. Your surgical site needs to heal.”
“I had surgery?” He reached for the gown, trying to find an opening. “Tell me I’m getting a good scar.”
Lila’s smirk was unamused, at best. “Doctor Rich had to sew up your liver. Time will tell how the outside of you heals.”
“Internal scars are cool too.” He winced, adjusting himself on the bed. His whole body felt leaden and aching. He couldn’t remember what regular Lex felt like anymore. “I earned this one. That’s for sure.”
&
nbsp; Lila ran a hand through her hair. It looked like she’d done that at least a thousand times that day. “Why would you ever go back with them?”
“They found me. Saw me on Travis’s show.” He paused, looking at the cliché inspirational photo without really seeing it. “Told me to come back to fight or else. I said no about a billion times. But then they threatened you.”
Lila rolled her lips inward and reached out for his hand again. Her small fingers laced between his. A grounding rod through the murky swamp of pain and understanding.
“I agreed to one. But then one turned into two, and more and more. They had a following again. People kept betting. I only knew one way out, Lila. I had to throw the fight. Because if I lost, they’d never want me again. But if you lose, you die.”
A sob wracked her body, and she pinched at the bridge of her nose. “You could have told me.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” The monitor at his side started beeping again. High pulse. Lila sniffed, reaching across him to flip it off. “You would have flipped. You might not have even believed me. I wasn’t taking any chances with you. Not with our history.”
She wiped at her pink cheeks, tears making her eyes look like ice.
“When you came over the other day, I was pissed at you. But I didn’t want you bringing Lane anywhere near me. Not when I had that shit unresolved.”
Lila buried her face in her hands, crying softy. “I get it. I do.”
“And Lila?”
She looked up at him, her face flushed, mascara streaked under her eyes. “What?”
“I’m still pissed at you.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and she nodded. “Okay. That’s…yeah. I get it.”
“I’m angrier at you than I ever have been in my entire life.” His limbs went warm, the adrenaline of his emotions taking over. “But I still love you more than I could ever fucking describe.”
She stared at him, her tears spilling quietly as she ran a thumb back and forth over his knuckles enough to make him chafe. “Lex, I can’t live without you. I know I told you I didn’t want to go crazy about you again, but there’s no middle ground. I don’t just want you, I need you. Like, my cells fucking work better when you’re around. I’ve always known it too, even when I spent every day convincing myself that Lane was better off without you.”
Lex shook his head and looked away. It was too much. A headache throbbed to life; surprising, considering how many drugs he must have in his system. His chest tightened, and the alarm went off.
“God dammit.” Lila wiped at her face, and then reached over to silence the alarm. A knock sounded at the door. Lila sighed.
A nurse pushed into the room, looking between the two of them tentatively. “Everything okay in here?”
“Yes, we’re just talking. The alarm is going off because I’m aggravating him,” Lila offered.
Lex cracked a grin, swinging his gaze toward the nurse. “Yeah. She’s real good at that.”
“Mr. Olivo, you have a visitor,” the nurse said. “He’s outside now, but I wanted to make sure you were awake.”
Lex nodded. “Who is it?”
“He didn’t say.” The nurse started for the door. “I’ll send him in now.”
Lila sat back in her chair, sniffing again as she wiped her face with a tissue. The door creaked open, an unfamiliar face peeking in.
“Lexington Olivo.” A bass voice, one he didn’t recognize. Buzzcut hair, shadows under his eyes. Lex blinked, the face finding its place in his memory banks.
“Cobra.” Lex smiled so wide it hurt. “Fuck. My savior.”
Cobra came into the room hesitantly, sending an uncertain smile toward Lila. “Just wanted to say hey. Make sure you made it out alive.” As he spoke, Lex could see his mouth was swollen. Probably from an errant punch in the underground.
To Lila, Lex said, “He saved my life. Made sure the ambulance found me when I was bleeding out.”
Lila sprang to her feet and rushed over to Cobra, throwing her arms around him. Cobra’s eyebrows shot up. He patted her back gently.
“Thank you. Thank you so fucking much you are the most amazing man who’s ever walked this earth,” Lila mumbled into his shoulder.
Cobra seemed uneasy with the attention. He tried to shrug it off. “Nah. Just did the right thing.”
Lila peeled herself off him and pulled out an extra chair. “Sit. Please.”
“This is my girl,” Lex offered as Cobra eased into the chair. “Lila.”
Lila sent him a private smile. Like she’d ever not be his girl. Even if he didn’t talk to her for the next year as punishment, she’d still be his girl.
“Most guys who hang out with the Kings don’t do the right thing.” Lex narrowed his eyes. “You part of them?”
Cobra jerked his head to the side. “Nah. Just looking around. Been trying to make some money.”
A whoosh of air burst past Lila’s lips. “Yeah, I’d look anywhere else for extra cash.”
“So you fight?”
Cobra nodded. “Yeah. Not as good as you, but I love it.”
“I know how you can make money and stay the fuck away from the Kings. Come to my gym. If you’re any good, my boss will hire you. I swear on it.”
Cobra seemed to consider it. His knee bounced as he studied something on the floor. If Lex could convince even just one person to take the high road before getting messed up in all that shit…then maybe his time with the Kings was worth it.
“But you ain’t never seen me fight.”
Lex shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. You’ll show us what you got. You heard of Holt Body Fitness?”
Cobra’s eyes widened slightly. “That guy’s gym is where you work?”
“Yeah. Promise me you’ll stop by. Tomorrow.”
Cobra’s jaw flexed as he returned Lex’s intense gaze. “Okay.”
“That’s just one favor of the millions I owe you.” Lex squeezed Lila’s hand when she snaked it back to find his. Lex smiled over at Cobra. Without this man, he’d be dead. “I’ll spend my whole life repaying you, Cobra.”
Chapter 27
THEN
Lex sucked on his teeth, shaking his hand. Fucking knuckles busted again. Now that the adrenaline of the fight had worn off, the bite of blood reached him.
People dispersed on the gritty side street. Fight was over, no need to stick around. Except some blond asshole didn’t seem to want to leave. He’d been watching the whole fight with his arms crossed over his chest like he was grading the fight. Lex rolled his head in a slow circle. Maybe he’d hand over a report card, give him a C-minus for sportsmanship, since Lex had taunted the loser all the way out of the neighborhood.
“Hey.” The blond strutted his way. He looked clean cut, made of neat lines and precision-trimmed hair. The tape on his brow gave him away though. He fought too.
“You liked the fight, I take it.” Lex sniffed, picking up the sweatshirt he’d left hanging on a guardrail.
“Yeah.” The guy scuffed his toe in the dirt. “What’s your name?”
He hesitated. Cheshire had been his automatic response. He’d been fighting with the Kings too long, forgetting who he really was. But who the fuck was he, anyway? Since Lila had left, he barely knew. Just wandering the city like a fucking punch-hungry demon. Even coke wasn’t doing it for him anymore. The easy cash, either. Fuck, the whole thing sucked. “Lex.”
“You fight for money?”
Lex cocked a smirk. “Of course. You new here?”
The dude’s face darkened. “All right. So you ever fought big time?”
“Define big time.” Lex slung his duffel bag over his shoulder. He’d fought every foe known to mankind. Including the hardest one to conquer: himself.
“I’m talking TV shit. Worldwide bets. Big time leagues.” The guy’s eyes were hard but curious on him. “You’re good. You already know that. I want you to join my league.”
Lex scoffed, but interest flooded him anyway. There was no way offers like this j
ust showed up on the street one day. That’s not how Lex’s life worked. If anything, this guy was a gang scout, and Lex’s life was going to continue to be the same shithole it always had been: busted and bruised, single, wondering where the fuck Lila was these days.
“Your league, brah?” Lex cast him a derisive look.
“It’s cool if you don’t want to.” The guy straightened, shoved his hands in his pockets. “But you’d be stupid to pass on an offer like this. Not sure what else you got going on but…” He made a display of looking around at the empty street. “You probably don’t want to give it up.”
Lex stopped walking, narrowing his eyes. “Okay. You have my attention.”
“Come to training.” The guy revealed a business card, flicked it between his fingers. “Or don’t. Because if you don’t want to, there are plenty of other halfway decent fighters who’d fucking kill for this opportunity.”
“Okay, you made your point.” Lex snatched the business card and looked it over. It was an MMA training camp, something he’d never heard of before. “So I show up and what? You guys decide to pay my bills and make me a superstar?”
“Maybe. If you’re good enough. So we’ll see you there tomorrow?”
Lex’s brows shot up. “Tomorrow? Fuck, you guys don’t mess around.”
“Good. See you there.” He gave him a thumbs up and started to walk away but seemed to think better of it. Turning back to Lex, he offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Lex.”
Lex put his hand into his hesitantly, as if it might somehow turn out to be a trick after all. But maybe if he believed…just this once…shit might go his way after all. Some sick part of him thought that if he got better, he might get Lila back someday. “You, too. Eh, what’s your name?”
“Travis.” He jerked his head into a nod. “See you tomorrow, Lex.”
Travis scuffed off into the drizzling night. Lex stared at the business card for a while after Travis left. Just to make sure it was still there, that this wasn’t a dream.
He turned the card over and then back again.
