by Claire Thake
Restart
The Revival Series
Book 2
By
Claire Thake
Dedication
This book is dedicated once again to my three beautiful children, my wonderful and supportive husband Del and my amazing parents! Thank you so much for everything, without your love and support none of this would be possible.
Copyright @2016 Claire Thake,
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Prologue
“Hey miss, sorry to interrupt but have you got the time?”
Startled, Leah looked up into a pair of stunning brown eyes, and instantly felt lost in them. Pulling herself together, she quickly pulled up the sleeve of her purple jumper and checked the watch on her wrist.
“Sure, it’s four fifteen,” She stuttered in response,
“Thanks, my names Ryan by the way; and you are?”
“Err Leah, my names Leah,”
“Nice to meet you Leah, and thanks again.”
Leah stared in awe at the young man who had just walked away from her, her stomach in knots. He was gorgeous and she felt an instant attraction to him and scolded herself for sounding so stupid. “Probably thinks I’m a right idiot,” she muttered to herself under her breath.
Later that afternoon, Leah sat on the brick wall that decorated the outside of her best friend Carrie’s house, sipping slowly on a can of Cola, and waiting for Carrie to arrive home. As usual, she was late and Leah was left sitting outside waiting.
A little while later Carrie came strolling slowly up the road, arm in arm with her boyfriend Ian, without a care in the world.
“Hey, Hun, sorry we're late,” Carrie said cheerfully, leaning in and giving Leah a hug, before turning back to Ian.
“Thanks for walking me home,” She said shyly, grabbing his hand and threading her fingers between his.
“Call me later?” Ian asked, leaning forward and leaning his forehead on Carries, and kissing her nose.
“Of course. Talk to you later.” Carrie replied, just before Ian leant down and engulfed her in a full kiss, completely oblivious to Leah sitting there, feeling like a spare part.
Sighing, Leah looked down at her hands and started picking at her fingernails, wishing they would hurry up so she could have some time with her best friend. She didn’t begrudge the time Carrie spent with Ian, but deep down she was jealous that she didn’t have the same thing; a strong relationship to enjoy and cherish. She thought she had previously with her ex-boyfriend, but things didn’t work out how she planned, and she was once again alone and single.
Eventually, Carrie and Ian parted and said their goodbyes and Carrie watched as her boyfriend walked slowly away from them down the road.
“I’m going to marry that man someday,” Carrie said, flicking her long brown hair over her shoulder.
“Can we go?” asked Leah impatiently, jumping down from the wall, and beginning the slow walk up the road in the opposite direction that Ian went in.
“What’s got in your knickers?” Carrie asked, running to catch up with Leah.
“Nothing, I’m fine just want to spend time with my mate without her boyfriend clinging on is all.” Carrie looked away to the side, the hurt clearly showing on her face.
“I’m sorry Lee, and I know things are awkward but they won’t be once we get you hooked up with a new boy! You’ve been moping since Gregory moved away, and it’s about time you got over it!”
Leah ignored Carrie and carried on walking. Deep down she still had deep feelings for Gregory and she knew she needed to move on, but she felt there was so much left unsaid between them, and she knew that he didn’t want to really end things with her but felt as he was moving so far away that it would be impossible to continue.
Eventually, the girls reached the bowling alley, and wandered in, passing the arcades. Leah sat down in a booth in the food court and began picking at the tattered plastic edge of a menu that had seen much better days.
Carrie walked over to the counter and ordered and paid for crushed ice drinks, before walking back and sitting opposite Leah, placing the bright blue drink in front of her. Leah smiled and thanked her friend and began stirring the drink with her straw.
“I know he’s not coming back Caz, but I just feel there is so much left unsaid and I don’t even have an address to write to so I can say these things,”
“Maybe that’s what he wanted?” Carrie replied between sips. “Maybe he knew if those things were said that it would make it harder to leave you behind and so easier for you both to just have a clean break.”
Leah sighed and leant back in her seat, wondering if Carrie was right. Either way he was gone and she had to find a way to let go.
“Wow, small world, hello again Leah.”
Leah lifted her head up to see those lovely brown eyes from earlier in the day looking straight at her, standing tall, amongst a group of three other lads around the same age.
“Oh, erm, hey, Ryan isn’t it?” She stuttered, pulling herself up in her seat. “Erm this is my friend Carrie, Carrie this is Ryan.”
Ryan turned and smiled at Carrie, “Nice to meet you, Carrie, would you girls mind if we joined you?”
Leah could not believe what was happening, and sat in shock, meanwhile, Carrie had agreed that they could join them and was kicking Leah frantically under the table.
Leah scooted across the bench seat, making room, and Ryan slid into the seat next to her. She could feel the warmth of his leg through her jeans as their legs touched, and felt herself flush.
The afternoon continued, with small talk amongst the group and Leah’s cheeks ached from smiling so much. The group slowly dwindled as Ryan’s friends made excuses and left, especially when Carrie made it clear she was already taken for. Carrie eventually left too, giving Leah a wink and telling her to call her later on.
It then suddenly hit Leah that not once had she thought about Gregory, since Ryan had joined them, and she found herself actually having a great time.
A while later, Ryan said he needed to go as he needed to get home. Leah walked slowly with him out of the building, leaning on the railings outside, a wave of disappointment hitting her. She really hadn’t wanted time to go so fast, let alone end.
“I really enjoyed today,” Leah said, a shy smile spreading across her face.
“Me too.” Ryan answered, nervously staring at his feet.
Leah didn’t want to say goodbye, she had really enjoyed Ryan’s company and hoped he felt the same and that they would be able to meet up again soon.
Stepping forward, Ryan grabbed Leah’s hand and pulled her towards him, before dropping her hand and putting his arms around her waist pulling her into a cuddle. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her hair, and felt herself holding her own breath in anticipation.
“Oh the hell with it,” Ryan said, before quickly bending down and gently running his tongue over the opening of her lips, coaxing them to part. It didn’t take Leah a lot of convincing to give into his mouth and let him envelop her. Butterflies doing somersaults in the pit of her stomach, over and over.
Pulling apart for air, they both stared at each other for what felt like hours. “I really have to go.” Said Ryan, taking Leah’s hand in his and gently squeezing. Leah wanted to stay like this forever. She may not have known Ryan long but she felt safe and happy in those few moments.
Ryan
dropped her hand, and turned, walking away slowly and Leah watched as he disappeared into the distance, before she began walking home herself. Leah couldn’t wipe the smile from her face, she didn’t know how, but somehow she knew this was the start of a new and exciting chapter in her life.
Chapter 1
Sixteen years later.
Leah stretched out her body and all of her muscles, before squinting at the light beaming through a crack in the curtains which hung from her bedroom window. She reached out her hand to the side and ran her fingers across the bed sheet...empty. She let out a sigh and pulled up into a sitting position glancing at the empty space next to her on the bed.
Anger began to surge through her like it had so many times before and she let out a huge sigh. Swiveling her legs out of bed, she grabbed her bath robe from the chair and slipped it on, whilst having a look at her reflection in the large mirror attached to the wall. The person looking back at her was not who she wanted to be. She looked tired and run down, and her attitude matched her appearance.
Leah left her bedroom and walked straight to the kids’ rooms, in turn waking them up for school and hoping they would get up and that she wouldn’t need to come back up again. She then descended the stairs and walked into the kitchen clicking the kettle, before popping some slices of bread in the toaster for the kids.
She left the kitchen and popped her head in the living room, hearing the familiar snores before she saw him. Ryan was sprawled across the sofa sound asleep. This was a regular occurrence of late to find her husband downstairs. She would go to bed early to make sure she was up for the kids and he would sit up late working, playing video games or watching TV, ending up falling asleep on the sofa. She gently nudged his foot to wake him and returned to the kitchen to finish making the coffee she was in such desperate need of.
This wasn’t the life Leah had wanted or imagined. To begin with Ryan was perfect - they were perfect together – childhood sweethearts and life was good. The kids had come along after a couple of years of marriage, a girl and a boy, Emma and Ben and life was perfect
A perfect family and Leah had been happy. But over the years, things had gone stale. Leah and Ryan had drifted and to Leah, it felt as if they were more housemates than husband and wife. There was never any romance, Valentine’s Day was considered just another day, and sex or any type of affection was pretty much nonexistent.
Was it so wrong to want to feel wanted? To feel that she was loved by her husband and appreciated, or was this just how life was? Did the fun and romance eventually die for all couples?
Leah buttered the toast just as the kids appeared in the kitchen and parked themselves at the wooden dinner table in the centre of the room and she placed a plate in front of them both. She leaned back against the counter, sipping her coffee slowly, enjoying the feel of the warm liquid helping to wake her up, whilst watching the kids interact with each other between mouthfuls.
Ryan bounded through the kitchen like a tornado. He was now dressed in his work suit, although he had obviously rushed as his shirt wasn’t tucked in and his tie was loose around his neck. Leah still loved the sight of him all dressed up in a suit for work, and didn’t feel she would ever grow tired of it. He walked straight passed Leah with no acknowledgement and went straight to the fridge to retrieve the lunch that she had made for him the night before.
“Coffee?” she asked quietly looking in Ryan’s direction
“I would love one, however since my amazing wife didn’t get out of bed early like a normal person, I have now overslept and I now have no time for breakfast let alone any coffee,” he huffed back at her. She didn’t want to get into an argument especially in front of the kids but she felt that wasn’t fair and especially wasn’t happy to be spoken to like that around little ears.
“It’s not my fault you didn’t come to bed again Ryan, maybe you should try having an early night for once.” She replied in a whisper.
“Why would I want to do that Leah? To sit and watch you reading? I think not, don’t try and twist this into pointing the finger at me, just admit you’re lazy and should get up early like normal people.”
Before she had a chance to make a comeback, he walked across the room, kissed both the kids on the heads before walking out the kitchen and out the front door slamming it shut. Both the kids were finishing up their toast and seemed oblivious to the tension between their Mum and Dad.
When they had finished, Leah hurried them back upstairs to wash, brush their teeth and get dressed. She quickly pottered around tidying up the plates and retrieving their lunch bags and school bags and placing everything they needed for the day by the front door.
Half an hour later there was a knock at the door, Leah opened it and found the smiley face of her friend Cara staring back at her.
“Morning Chick,” Cara beamed, and leaned in for an air kiss. Leah stepped back from the door for her friend to enter and called out to the kids.
Cara and Leah took turns on dropping the kids to school as Cara’s Son Oscar went to the same school, just a year below Emma and in the same year as Ben. Leah had met Cara when Ben had been in his last year of nursery, and Cara being extroverted and loud had struck up a conversation with Leah in the morning queue for the doors to open.
Ever since Cara would make a beeline for Leah and their friendship had blossomed and extended to coffee mornings, shopping trips and the odd dinner party with their husbands here and there.
“You okay chick? You look tired,” Cara asked looking at Leah questioningly,
“Yeah I’m fine just didn’t sleep that great.” she smiled back
“Get some shut eye while the kids are away then chick, no offence but you look like you need it.”
Leah knew that she looked terrible, and although she loved Cara’s honesty she couldn’t help but feel her stomach drop when someone confirmed she looked as bad as she imagined.
Leah waved the kids off with Cara and Oscar, and returned to the kitchen for the second cup of coffee of the day, before picking up the latest trashy magazine she had bought. Going into the living room and settling down on the sofa to read other people's life problems in the hope that it would make her feel grateful for the life she had. It wasn’t that her life was terrible of course but she wasn’t happy.
Every day was a repeat of the last. Ryan would make constant digs about the house or about her appearance and behaviour, and nothing she did was good enough. If she made an effort and made him a special dinner he would ask ‘if she wanted a medal’ and she would always end up going to bed early or laying in the bath crying, wondering where things had gone so terribly wrong.
She had almost left him on several occasions when he had really pushed her boundaries but changed her mind at the last minute for the sake of the kids. She had grown up with a single parent as her Dad had died when she was a toddler, in a car accident and so her mother had raised her alone. She admired her mother’s strength and courage and although her mum had eventually married an amazing man when Leah was a teenager, she didn’t want the kids to be without their father, so she always stayed.
Although some days she did wonder if the kids would be happier if she and Ryan parted. She worried about what the constant bickering did to them, but in reality, it seemed they never really noticed. Either that or they were so used to it, that it was just the norm now and she worried what it would do to them as adults if they thought the constant bickering was normal.
Once the coffee had been drunk, she forced herself off the sofa and went upstairs for a shower to try and perk up. Letting the hot water run over her felt relaxing and she could have stood there for ages if she didn’t feel guilty of using too much water and gas, which Ryan would constantly moan about when the bills were high, not that they were short of money or anything.
Trying to make herself feel better she quickly blow dried her long brown hair and ran her straighteners through it, before applying a minimal amount of makeup.
The person staring back at her looke
d different from the earlier image. She didn’t look so tired and her skin glowed from the bronzer. It was amazing how a layer of makeup could transform how a person looked on the outside. It was a shame the same thing couldn’t be done for the inside.
As she stared at her reflection she considered whether maybe it was her with the problem, and maybe she should see the doctor about anti-depressants. Brushing off the thought, she jumped up and got herself dressed, choosing black leggings and white top. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she needed to see the doctor but felt she didn’t want to admit to a stranger the car crash that was her life; she didn’t want anyone else to know what was happening behind closed doors. As far as anyone outside of her house knew, she and Ryan were happily married and a happy unit with no problems, and that’s the way she wanted it to stay.
They had a good life from the outside. Ryan had a good job in the city, and they had a lovely five bedroom house, new cars and had nice holidays abroad each year. The kids did a variety of extracurricular activities, which cost a small fortune and they were never without the latest gadget or branded trainers.
Leah was seen as a trophy wife, she was pretty and looked young for her age, and kept herself in good shape. Ryan was always getting comments on how lovely his wife was, whenever they attended any of his work parties, and she was always expected to put on a front and act the dutiful wife.
In truth, the parties bored her and she would much rather sit indoors with a film or have a good catch up with friends; not that she had many friends anymore. Since having kids all her friends had seemed to distance themselves and the only people Leah really had left was Cara and her best friend Carrie, but Carrie had moved to Devon five years ago to be with her husband Daniel and Leah missed her terribly.
