by Claire Thake
Carrie smiled at her friend and pushed a stray, strand of brown hair behind Leah’s ear.
“You know if you ever need to talk Leah, I’m always here. Always available on the phone whenever you need to talk, and if you needed me to, you know I would jump in the car and come to you as soon as I could. You’re my best friend Leah, always have been and always will be.”
Leah knew everything she was saying was true, and she knew that she would do the same for Carrie, and she felt like she was deceiving her best friend by not telling her the full extent of what was really going on. Taking in a deep breath she decided that now was not the time to have that conversation, even if she wanted to, and that it would be best saved for another day and time, and maybe when she wasn’t so tired.
Finishing off their drinks, the pair said their goodnights and gave each other a quick hug, before Carrie left the barn and walked over to the farmhouse.
Leah locked the door when Carrie had gone, before returning to the kitchen to wash up the mugs they had both used, and then checking on the kids, who as expected, were both sound asleep and snoring into their pillows.
Finally Leah, flopped down on the double bed in the master bedroom, and pulled her knees up to her chest, she wouldn’t let things get in the way of her having a good time this week, and although she knew it would be hard not to focus on the mess her life was becoming, she was determined to try her best.
****
“Muuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm!” Leah woke to the delightful sound of Emma, screaming from the living room, and the muffling of Ben’s force in full argument, just not raising his voice.
Leah pulled herself from the comfort of the warm bed, before unzipping her suitcase and retrieving her long cream robe that she had packed, and slipped it over her bare shoulders.
Entering the living room, she encountered Ben sitting sprawled out on the sofa, with the television remote in his hand, looking the spitting image of a younger version of his father, and Emma sitting in the chair, with a look on her face that could kill.
“Kids, please, we're here to have a good time, can we just try and keep to the arguments to a minimum,” Leah said, trying to calm the situation.
“But mum, Ben is being unreasonable! He’s only watching rubbish TV that he wants to watch, instead of finding something for both of us!”
Leah sat down on the sofa next to Ben, and reached over and took the remote from his hand.
“But mum..” Ben stuttered, and before he could argue, Leah aimed the remote at the television and switched it off.
“There, that’s better. If you both can’t get along, then you both go without. Now, go and get yourselves washed and dressed and I will pop over to see Carrie, and see what the plans are and if we can pinch some cereal or bread as I forgot to bring anything for breakfast.”
Slowly the kids, left the room, grumbling to themselves, and Leah went to the kitchen and made herself a cup coffee, with one of the sachets that Carrie leaves out for guests to the barn, and using the tiny pot of milk that accompanied it.
Leah, left the kitchen and walked back to her room, taking the coffee with her, and placed in on the bedside table, before rifling through her suitcase for clothes and towels.
After a nice hot shower, fresh clothes and the coffee, Leah felt much more human, and after calling to the kids, she opened the barn door and stepped out into the cool morning air, taking a deep breath of the countryside at the same time, as walking across the courtyard towards the farm house.
Before she got to the main door, she saw a figure walking from around the back of the house, and smiled when she saw Daniel, in full farm clothing, in khaki greens and wellies, walking towards her.
“Hey there pretty lady, what's a city girl like you doing in these parts?” he said, teasing her and putting on the strongest Cornish accent he could manage, before enveloping her in a strong hug.
“Hey Dan the man!” Leah replied, hugging him back.
“It’s good to see you, Leah, kids still in bed?”
“No such luck I’m afraid, I’m on the scrounge if I’m honest. As usual, I’m so organised and I forgot to buy anything for breakfast, so was wondering if I could pinch some cereal until I go shopping later on.”
“Well I think we can do better than that, go back and fetch the kids and come over, Carrie is cooking up pancakes for everyone, it’s all prepared, she was just waiting for you all to get up.”
After she grabbed the kids from the barn, they followed Daniel into the farmhouse, the smell of the sweet pancakes, invaded Leah’s nostrils, and she felt famished.
Taking in the familiar surroundings of the house, she noticed that although a few things had moved, that they hadn’t decorated since she had last visited, and she was glad as the house felt so warmly and welcoming.
Entering the kitchen, behind Daniel, she smiled at the figure of her best friend, slaving away over the hob cooking. Carrie turned and smiled at Leah, and wiped her hands on the tea towel that was sitting on the side.
“Leah, did you really think you guys wouldn’t be having breakfast with us, especially this morning? I’m not sure whether to be offended or not,”
“I didn’t want to put you out Caz, you wouldn’t be doing this for normal guests at the barn, they would have needed to provide their own breakfast.”
“Very true, but you’re not normal guests and I wouldn’t dream of you spending your first morning here anywhere but at this table with us all. Please stop littering my kitchen and sit down.”
Emma giggled at Carrie telling her mum off and slid into a bench seat next to the table, and Ben walked around to sit as far away from his sister as he could. Leah shook her head at the silly behavior of her kids and walked over to Carrie.
“What can I do to help?”
“Have you gone deaf Lee? I said sit down, so sit your backside down on a chair. Dan, can you give Tyler a nudge please.”
Daniel saluted at his wife and turned and walked away through the house. Leah took a seat by the table, not wanted to get told off by her friend again.
It didn’t take long for Daniel and Tyler to appear in the kitchen, and little Tyler bounded over and threw his arms around Leah.
“Auntie Leah!” He shouted, straight into Leah’s ear and she had to pull her head away, as her ear had started ringing from the loud noise, but at the same time, she enveloped his tiny body in a big bear hug.
Pulling away from Leah, Tyler straightened himself up, and pulled himself up tall, and made his way over to sit next to Ben, trying to act all grown up. Ben smiled at Tyler and put his hand out for a high-five.
Leah smiled, at how good Ben was with Tyler. Although there was a five year age gap between the boys, Ben still took Tyler under his wing and Tyler looked up to Ben like a big brother.
It wasn’t long before Carrie placed a large plate of thick, soft pancakes into the centre of the table, along with bottles of honey, maple syrup and caster sugar, and they all tucked in hungrily, even if Emma did have the hump having to have her food cut up for her like a baby, as she still had limited use of her broken arm.
“So, what’s the plans for you all today then?” Daniel asked, pouring a glass of orange juice.
“I’m not too sure, what do you fancy Leah?” Carrie asked, and then popped a large piece of pancake into her mouth.
“Oh, I hadn’t really thought about it. I know I need to pop to a supermarket and grab some bits and bobs, so we don’t eat you out of house and home, but apart from that, I have no idea.”
“Okay well let’s make today a day for shopping then, pop into town, get some bits for you guys and take the kids for lunch and ice cream,” Carrie replied, standing up from the table and taking her plate over to the sink.
The kids all cheered at the mention of ice cream, and Leah loved the idea of spending time with Carrie and the kids.
“Sounds great,” Leah said, finishing up the pancake on her plate.
“Great, so that’s settled then, I will see you w
hen you get home then.” Daniel said, standing up from his chair, and ruffling Tyler’s hair, before walking over and kissing Carrie, and giving them all a wave before he left and went back to his work on the farm.
It wasn’t long before they all climbed into Carrie’s truck and she drove into town, with them all singing along to the chart songs on the radio.
Once they got into town, Leah felt her phone vibrate in her bag, which was sitting on top of her foot. Pulling her bag onto her lap, she retrieved the phone from the inside pocket and looked at the screen; She had several messages from both Ryan and Greg.
Ryan: Hey babe, hope you all got there safe. Call me when you get some signal x
Greg: Hi gorgeous, I hope u have a fantastic week. I miss you. Gx
Greg: You have only been gone less than a day, and it's driving me crazy already that I can’t speak to you Gx
Ryan: Leah, where’s the passports?
Leah pulled a face at the last message; why on earth would Ryan need their passports? Leah immediately thought about how nice Ryan was about her going away, and suspicion started rearing its ugly head, and she started wondering about Ryan and Melissa.
“Are you okay chick?” Carrie asked, noticing how quiet Leah had become. “I’m good Caz, sorry I just had some messages from Ryan so will need to call him shortly."
Carrie pulled into the car park, and quickly found a space, before jumping out of the car and walking to the machine to pay for a ticket.
Leah unclipped her seatbelt and gathered up her things from the footwell of the car, before getting out and taking in the fresh air.
She really did love it here and wished circumstances were different and that she could move here and be near Carrie, but she also knew that Ryan would never move that far away from London.
Walking down the hill into the town centre, the five of them chatted animatedly and the kids all played and giggled. After walking around several shops and Leah blasting the joint account card, more than she probably should, they stopped at a little ice cream parlour.
The kids sat on a separate table, all tucking into their sundaes as if they had never been fed, whilst Leah and Carrie sat on another smaller table, Leah with a warm waffle, with ice cream, chocolate sauce and nuts, and Carrie with pancakes with strawberries, bananas, chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream.
“This is so naughty, but so goddamn nice.” Carrie chuckled, spooning in a mouthful of ice cream.
“It is really nice.” Replied Leah.
“So come on then, tell me what's going on? I can tell there is something up, its written all over your face, and what better way to do it than over ice cream.”
Leah sighed and leaned back into her chair, prodding her dessert with her spoon. “Is it that obvious Caz?”
“Well put it this way, the Leah I know is bubbly and full of life, and happy. This person sitting in front of me has been way too quiet and hasn’t smiled hardly once since you arrived; plus Leah I have known you for like ever! If something is wrong I can read you like a well-written novel.”
Leah laughed at Carries comparison to a book and took a mouthful of her waffle.
“Things just aren’t great at home Caz. Ryan and me, well I don’t know how to explain it, but he feels more like a grumpy flatmate than my husband.”
“Is he working too hard maybe?” Carrie questioned.
“Probably, but he lives for his work or so he’s always told me. He never seems to have a break, whether he’s at home or not, he just locks himself in his office most of the time and we don’t see him unless it's time for dinner.”
“Are the kids noticing?”
“Emma doesn’t seem to, but I can tell Ben is, you can see the disappointment on his face when Ryan doesn’t join us to do things.”
Carrie sat back in her chair looking thoughtful. “Have you tried telling Ryan how you feel? Maybe he doesn’t realize? You know what men are like.”
“Not entirely no, but I think – Oh god I don’t want to even say it out loud, but Caz I really think there is someone else.”
Carrie began choking on the ice cream and sat up trying to compose herself. She had known Ryan and Leah for so many years, and she knew Ryan had always been besotted with Leah, and the thought of him cheating on her was almost comical.
“Ryan, cheating? What on earth makes you think that? That just seems so impossible.”
“I would have thought the same until this year Caz. He locks himself away, leaves the room when the phone rings, and his boss Melissa is always all over him when I've seen them. Maybe, you know he's bored with me and she's something new.”
The words caught in Leah's throat, and she tried her hardest to hold back the tears. The last thing she wanted to do was to start crying in public, especially in front of the kids.
“Oh Lee, I really don’t know what to say, but all I can suggest is that you talk to him. Nothing will get solved if the pair of you don’t talk things through. It will just get worse.”
Leah knew Carrie was right, but it wasn’t the fact of talking to Ryan, it was getting him pinned down to talk, and she could just imagine how the conversation would go, and she knew whatever she said, he would turn around to be her fault, and then she had the other complication of Greg to consider.
“Caz, do you remember what life was like when we were at school? Did you see the reunion group on Facebook?”
“I did, and I deleted it. That’s in the past, and I for one refuse to live in the past. I did that once and I refuse to become that person again. The only way we can go is forward.”
Leah nodded and took in Carrie’s words. Carrie had lived a life of just her career and shut out all of her family and friends, apart from Leah, for 2 years after her first husband died in a freak accident, as she blamed herself. It wasn’t until her mother become poorly that she had no choice but to connect back with everyone that she finally changed.
It was awful that they had lost Carrie’s mother Anne, but in a way, it helped Carrie heal from her past and find Daniel as well. She was truly happy now.
“I downloaded the messaging app to be nosey. You didn’t miss much, it was just full of old names, all trying to outdo each other.”
“I can imagine. That’s one of the reasons I deleted the invitation.”
“Caz, do you remember Gregory Linton?”
“Gregory, wow that’s a blast from the past, and how could I forget that name! You pined for him for months when he moved.”
“I was just thinking lately how things have turned out, and how things would have been if say Greg had never moved.”
“I honestly don’t think it would have made any difference Leah. You and Ryan may be hitting a rough patch but anyone who knows you can see a mile off that the two of you are perfect for each other. Greggory was a nice guy but I couldn’t see you with him long term.”
“Really? Why would you say that?”
“Leah, come on seriously, you and Gregory fancied the pants off of each other, but personality wise you weren’t compatible at all. He couldn’t read you and know what you were thinking and feeling; not like Ryan can.”
Leah put her head down and took in Carrie’s words. Did she really misread her relationship with Greg so badly, or was she forgetting how things really had been between them?
“In any case Lee, what made you think about Gregory? Was he in that group on facebook?”
Leah decided not to lie to Carrie, although she wasn’t going to tell her about things with Greg, she didn’t need to lie about the small details.
“Yeah, he was. Took me a while to figure out who it was mind you, and gave me a bit of a shock to begin with, after all, this time.”
“I can imagine. Did you speak to him in the group?”
“No, no, I didn’t write in there at all, I was just nosey and read what everyone was saying.”
“Good. I personally don’t see what good would come from ever visiting the past like that. Work on your marriage Leah. Trust me you and Ryan have a
good thing and something that needs saving, don’t throw it away for memories from the past.”
Leah knew Carrie was right, but she also knew she now had strong feelings for Greg, and she wasn’t sure what she had with Ryan now, could even be saved, even for the sake of the kids anymore.
The day continued in a blur of clothes and souvenir shops, and then a quick stop at the supermarket on the way back. The kids were exhausted and moaning, so Leah ran in by herself and left them all in the car with Carrie, not only that but it gave her a moment to call both Ryan and Greg without extra ears listening in.
“Hello. You have reached the phone of …” Leah cut the call off before it began recording. As usual, Ryan didn’t answer his phone, and she hated leaving voice messages. Instead, she typed out a quick message, in between choosing breakfast cereals for her and the kids.
Leah: Hey, we got here fine, I would have called you already, but as you know the signal is rubbish here. The passports are in the top of our wardrobe in the documents box, why do you need them?”
Once she had sent it she called Greg.
“Well, I didn’t expect to be getting this call, hows things?”
Leah smiled at the sound of Greg’s voice and scanned the supermarket aisles for the items they would need. She didn’t want to spend too long shopping or Carrie might wonder what she was doing.
“Things are good, it's nice to get away from everything.”
“I can imagine. How’s Carrie?”
“She’s good, its really nice to see her, it has been a while.”
The line went silent, and Leah found herself lost for words until Greg broke the silence.
“I miss you, Leah. I know this is all new to us but I just feel..well I just need you to know that I can’t wait for you to come back.”
“I miss you too.” Leah mumbled. “I have to go, Carrie is waiting for me, so it's just a quick call, but I just erm I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Ok darling, have a wonderful time.”
Leah hung up the phone and sighed. After her conversation with Carrie, talking to Greg felt very staged and false. Was Carrie right? Was things with Greg not as clear cut as Leah thought they were?
