by Susan Lewis
‘Then who the hell are they?’ he demanded belligerently.
Her voice shook slightly as she said, ‘That’s not the right question, because we know who they are. What we possibly don’t know is who … who I am.’
Shooting to his feet, he said, ‘This is crazy, Lucy, and you know it.’
‘No! All I know is what I’ve read,’ she cried, feeling absurdly sorry for herself as he continued to fail to see this from her point of view, or even consider what a nightmarish position she was in, ‘and you’re not helping, taking this attitude when I could really do with your support right now.’
‘OK, you have it, but not in jumping to the kind of conclusions …’
‘Then give me a better explanation. Tell me how I died in a fire, when I’m sitting right in front of you. How can that happen? What makes …’
‘I already told you, you have to speak to your mother.’
‘You think I haven’t tried?’
‘Go down there, for God’s sake.’
‘I will, as soon as I can get away …’
‘Sod what’s going on here …’
‘That’s easy for you to say when it’s not your company. If I don’t clear up after the last auction it’ll be chaos for the next. And, in case you’d forgotten, I have to think about Hanna. I can’t just leave her here.’
‘Then take her with you.’
Lucy looked at him in disbelief. ‘You surely don’t think I want her knowing about this?’
Flushing at his mistake, he said, ‘OK, OK, let her come back with me for a few days. She can catch up with her old friends …’
‘No, that’s not the answer. Even if she went with you, I’ve just told you, I can’t get away.’
Throwing out his hands, he demanded, ‘Then what do you want me to say? I don’t have the answers you’re looking for …’
‘No, but you could go down there for me.’
He gaped with astonishment.
‘You can take the car,’ she pressed on before he could protest. ‘I’ll cover all your expenses …’
‘Lucy, it’s not going to happen.’
‘For God’s sake, all I want you to do is take the cuttings and ask who the little girl is, and why they’ve kept them.’
‘No way,’ he told her, starting to back off. ‘This has nothing to do with me. They’re your parents, not mine. I can’t go down there demanding answers like it’s me they owe an explanation to.’
‘Maybe they do,’ she cried furiously, ‘because if I’m not who we think I am, then we could end up with you married to a dead girl and your children as … bastards.’
As his face blanched, she pressed her hands to her head. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, but can’t you see …?’
‘Ssh,’ he broke in sharply, ‘someone’s coming.’
Turning from the door before it opened, Lucy quickly tried to pull herself together in case it was Hanna.
It turned out to be Sarah and Simon – and to Lucy’s horror she heard Joe say, ‘Sorry, friends, now’s not a good time …’
‘For God’s sake,’ Lucy snapped at him. ‘Come in,’ she told them. ‘I’m sorry, we were just discussing … Can I get you a coffee? What a crazy night we’ve all had. Were you inundated over there?’
Clearly realising they’d walked into the middle of something, Sarah said, ‘I’m sorry, we can come back …’
‘No, no, it’s fine,’ Lucy assured her. ‘I’m glad you’re here, because we’re already behind with the shipments, and since all our backup staff are cleaning up after last night …’
‘Oh, what a shame that is,’ Joe cut in scathingly.
Lucy turned to him in astonishment.
‘Do excuse me if I’m getting in the way,’ he said bitterly. ‘I’ve only just realised that what I have to say counts for nothing now your friends have turned up, so maybe you’d like to discuss your problems with them.’
Before Lucy could explode with rage, Sarah said, ‘Joe, I’m sorry if we interrupted. It’s just that there’s something we need to talk to Lucy about, and you too, actually …’
‘Leave it,’ Simon cut in, putting a hand on her arm. ‘It can wait,’ and easing her back to the door he threw a blistering look at Joe before saying to Lucy, ‘Are you sure you’re OK?’
Joe’s face turned white with fury. ‘What do you mean, is she OK?’ he growled, advancing across the kitchen. ‘Who the hell do you think you are …’
‘Joe, stop this now!’ Lucy shouted.
‘… coming in here, asking my wife …’
‘Joe! For God’s sake!’
‘This bastard’s had it coming,’ he seethed. ‘Don’t think I don’t know what goes on when I’m not around, how he’s always here, sniffing about, trying to get laid …’
‘You’re out of your mind,’ Simon told him scathingly.
‘Come on,’ Sarah whispered, grabbing Simon’s arm.
Simon’s eyes were still blazing into Joe’s. ‘What, and leave her here with this madman?’
‘Joe!’ Lucy yelled as he slammed a punch into Simon’s jaw.
‘And there’s more where that came from,’ Joe snarled as Simon staggered back against the door.
Simon’s hand moved so fast that no one saw it until he had Joe by the throat. ‘It’s only out of respect for Lucy that I’m not making you pay for that,’ he seethed. Drawing Joe in even closer, he burned his eyes menacingly into his, before shoving him so hard into the wall that Joe grunted as his head hit the stone.
Seconds later Simon was marching along the drive, barely seeing Hanna as she came towards him.
‘Hey Si,’ she sang breezily. ‘Hey Sarah,’ as Sarah followed him. ‘Dad here yet?’
‘Yes, he’s here,’ Sarah muttered, stopping as Simon stalked on. She was thinking fast to give Lucy some time. ‘Tell me, have you been to John and Pippa’s yet? If they’re awake I thought I’d pop down there.’
‘No idea, we’re not expected till two.’ Then, in a sympathetic whisper, ‘Simon still in a bad mood?’
Going along with it, Sarah grimaced. ‘He’s had a challenging start to the day.’ She quickly glanced back at the kitchen door. ‘I’d better go and find out where he went, we don’t want him upsetting the natives, do we?’
With a giggle, Hanna skipped on into the house. Blithely ignoring the way her father was glowering at her mother, she rushed into his arms. ‘Hey, Dad, how’s your world?’
‘Oh just great,’ he responded, his eyes still boring into Lucy. Then, in a softer tone as he smoothed her hair, ‘Now I’ve found someone who’s pleased to see me.’
Letting the barb hook into thin air, Lucy slipped the cuttings back into their envelope, and without uttering a word to anyone she took them upstairs for safe keeping.
Finding no sign of Simon back at the manor, Sarah seized the opportunity while alone to call her mother. Since there was no reply from either of her numbers, she left a message on her mobile saying, ‘Mummy, something’s come up about John Mckenzie. Maybe you don’t know anything about it, but I think … Well, maybe you do, so please get back to me as soon as you can.’
After ringing off she tried Simon’s mobile, but he evidently hadn’t taken it with him, because she could hear its familiar ringtone jingling in the kitchen. So, deciding she could spend a few minutes online before going back to start work with Lucy, she went to open her laptop.
Moments later she was staring in horror at the screen. Though the story contained no details of his crime, it told how, aged forty-four, John Mckenzie had been released from prison after serving fifteen years of a life sentence for murdering his tiny daughter, Alexandra.
Feeling oddly bludgeoned, Sarah sat back in her chair and tried to connect the man she knew with someone who could commit such a violent act on his own child. It just wasn’t possible. It must have been an accident that had been blown into something more sinister. It happened all the time, especially where babies were concerned. Or maybe Alexa
ndra had had a terminal illness, and her father had carried out a mercy killing. Would she, Sarah, have had the courage to do something like that if it happened to a child of hers? It wasn’t possible to say without being in that situation, but she couldn’t imagine standing by and doing nothing if someone she loved was suffering. She couldn’t imagine John doing it, either.
Knowing the answers must be there somewhere, she started another search, this time using Alexandra’s name. It took only moments for the screen to begin downloading the image of the sweetest little face, so happy and vibrant that Sarah felt her heart turn inside out. Surely to God no one could hurt her, least of all her own father.
Clicking on to a press story from that time, she had only read the first few lines when the phone started to ring.
‘Darling, it’s Mummy, I just got your message. What’s happened? Is everything OK?’
Closing down the screen almost guiltily, Sarah rose to her feet as she said, ‘I’m not sure. I …’
‘You said something had come up about John,’ her mother interrupted, sounding worried.
‘Yes, it has. Some of the neighbours have found out … Well, I just checked it online and it’s saying that … that he killed his daughter, and …’
‘No!’ Rose shouted. Then, more violently still, ‘No! Don’t ever say that, do you hear me?’
Sarah’s head started to spin.
‘It’s not true. You must never repeat it and you must never let anyone else,’ her mother insisted.
‘Mummy …’
‘Listen to me, Sarah. Listen. John’s a good man.’
‘So why are they saying …?’
‘They’ve got it wrong. He never laid a finger on her. Oh God, where is he? Does he know people are turning against him? You mustn’t let it happen. Sarah, you have to make it stop.’
‘I’ll try if I can, but if you’re so certain he didn’t …’
‘He didn’t!’
‘But how do you know?’
‘Because she was my daughter too,’ Rose sobbed, ‘and I know he didn’t kill her.’
As shock hit her like a blow, Sarah reached for a chair to steady herself. ‘Your daughter?’ she whispered. ‘Oh Mummy, what are you … You have to tell me …’
‘I will, I promise, but I have to call John now. Does Simon know about any of this?’
‘Yes, he’s …’
‘Oh God, I’ll ring you back,’ and the line went dead.
John was staring at Simon, feeling the challenge in his eyes and the anger in his heart as though they were physical forces. He wished he knew how to reach him, but right now finding a way through the years of misunderstandings and mistakes to a place where it was safe and Simon was still his son was impossible.
‘Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?’ Simon demanded curtly. ‘I just told you, they’re getting up a petition and …’
‘All I can tell you,’ John interrupted quietly, ‘is that I didn’t kill my daughter. I loved her with all my heart. She was as special to me as …’
‘So what happened to her?’ Simon cut in. ‘I know you served a sentence …’
‘Yes, I did …’
‘John,’ Philippa broke in.
John put up a hand to stop her. ‘Maybe you could answer the phone,’ he suggested in a tone that brooked no dispute.
After she’d gone he directed Simon to a chair, but Simon shook his head.
‘Convicted criminals always claim to be innocent,’ Simon stated gruffly, ‘and I don’t blame you for trying to cry off this one, God knows anyone would, but you were tried, John, twelve jurors found you …’
‘There was no jury. I pleaded guilty.’
Simon’s face became more pinched than ever. ‘Why? If you didn’t do it?’
As John started to answer Philippa came back into the room.
‘I think you should take this call,’ she told him. Her eyes went briefly to Simon before returning to her brother. ‘It’s … I think you know.’
Almost closing his eyes at the powerful jolt in his heart, he said to Simon, ‘Would you mind? It would …’
‘Go ahead,’ Simon told him. ‘I’m done here anyway,’ and ignoring John’s protest he nodded curtly towards Philippa as he went past her and out of the door.
Taking the phone John allowed his eyes to connect briefly with Pippa’s, then turning away he spoke very softly as he said, ‘Hello, my love,’ and there was so much feeling in the ‘love’ that no one could have ever been in any doubt of how deeply he meant it.
‘Oh John,’ Rose responded brokenly, ‘just to hear you … Are you …?’
‘I’m fine,’ he came in gently. ‘How are you?’
‘Yes, yes, I’m fine too, but Sarah told me what’s happening there.’
‘You don’t need to worry yourself …’
‘John, listen, please. I’m coming over, but Sheila has to sit her exams on Tuesday. She’s been studying so hard to become a translator … and I promised …’
‘Be there for her,’ he said, reading what she was trying to say.
‘There’s a flight into Bristol on Wednesday. Will you pick me up from the airport?’
He turned back to Philippa, his eyes shining with happiness as he said to Rose, ‘Yes, my love, I’ll be there to pick you up from the airport.’
Chapter Twenty
‘MUM, CAN I talk to you?’ Hanna said, in a tone that was fairly muted for her.
Glancing up from her desk Lucy was about to say not now, when her heart jolted as she realised Hanna had been crying. ‘What is it?’ she asked, turning away from the computer. Surely Joe hadn’t told her about the cuttings. He wouldn’t.
Slumping down on the chair in front of Sarah’s desk, Hanna said, ‘I’ve just had a humungous row with Marietta. God, she is such a bitch. And a liar. I should have smashed her for saying what she did, because I know it’s not true, she just makes things up …’
‘What did she say?’ Lucy cut in gently.
Hanna glanced at her then away again. ‘She reckons … I know it’s not true, but she’s telling everyone that Dad’s having an affair with her mum. She said it’s where he was last Saturday night when he didn’t come home. I went mental when she said that, because I know he wouldn’t have an affair, but she just kept on and on, so I told her to eff off and walked away.’
Torn between fury, outrage and an overwhelming sense of protection towards her daughter, Lucy wheeled her chair closer and took Hanna’s hands in her own. ‘I’m sorry Marietta’s saying those things,’ she said softly.
‘I know they’re not true,’ Hanna insisted.
Reaching up to stroke her hair, Lucy couldn’t help wondering if it was time to stop protecting Hanna from some of the less welcome truths about her father. She didn’t have to be brutal, or try to make Hanna choose sides, all she needed was to begin with at least a part of the reality. ‘I don’t want to lie you,’ she said quietly, ‘because it would be the wrong thing to do …’
‘Oh my God, please don’t say he is,’ Hanna panicked.
‘I’m not sure if it’s an affair, as such,’ Lucy replied, holding more tightly to her hands, ‘but we know he didn’t come home that night, and …’
‘But he was with an old friend. He told us that.’
Wishing she hadn’t got into this now, for Hanna’s sake much more than her own, Lucy found herself saying, ‘That could be how he thinks of Annie.’
‘Oh God, I can’t stand it,’ Hanna wailed, pressing her hands to her cheeks. ‘You’ll divorce him now and we won’t ever see him …’
‘Sssh. He’s your father and whatever goes on between me and him won’t ever change how much he loves you.’
‘But you must hate him for cheating on you. I know I would.’
Realising that she didn’t love Joe enough to hate him, Lucy said, ‘Where is he now? Have you seen him this morning?’
Hanna shook her head. ‘You know he never gets up early on a Sunday.’ Her eyes came to Lucy�
��s. ‘Mum, if you weren’t always working … I mean, look at you now, in here at the computer … You’ve never got any time for him when he comes so really, who can blame him for going off with somebody else?’
At any other time Lucy might have been amused by how swiftly it had become her fault, but today she simply wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with it. ‘I’m not going to get into defending myself, or him,’ she said, more brusquely than she intended. ‘We’ve both made mistakes, and it’s not going to help if you start choosing sides.’
Hanna’s eyes flashed. ‘That’s so typical of you,’ she shouted. ‘You always manage to turn everything round so you can have a go at me, well I’m fed up with it. It’ll serve you bloody right if Dad does …’
‘What’s all the noise in here?’ Joe broke in chirpily as he came through the door. ‘You’re not shouting at your mother again, are you, princess?’
‘Why does everyone always blame me?’ Hanna shrieked, and leaping to her feet she tried to shove past her father.
‘Hey, not so fast,’ he protested, catching hold of her.
‘Let go of me,’ she seethed, chopping at his hands. ‘I don’t want to speak to you ever again.’
As she dashed back to the farmhouse Joe turned to Lucy, blinking with confusion. ‘What’s got into her?’ he demanded. ‘Don’t tell me you decided to load all that crap about your parents on her …’
‘Actually,’ Lucy cut in bitingly, ‘the crap she’s upset about is the crap you brought into our family by sleeping with the village bike. For God’s sake, why did you have to choose Annie Babbage of all people? It was bound to get out, and I hope you feel proud of yourself now that it was your own daughter who came to tell me.’
Joe’s face was sour with guilt.
‘Go away,’ Lucy said irritably.
Staying where he was, he said, ‘I know what you’re really pissed about. It’s the fact that I won’t go to see your parents.’
‘This has nothing to do with them,’ she yelled furiously. ‘For once in your life will you start facing up to what you’ve done and stop trying to throw it all back on to me?’
‘OK, right, so you’re upset about Annie, but what do you expect when …?’
