by Susan Lewis
Returning from around the back, Michael said, ‘Maybe they’ve gone into town for some … Are you OK?’
‘I’m fine,’ she lied. ‘It’s just that I really thought they’d be here. I’m sorry to bring you all this way for nothing.’
‘Try calling,’ he said, ‘because if they have gone into the local town they might get reception there.’
Looking down at her own phone, Lucy shook her head. ‘There’s no signal up here for my phone either.’
After checking his own and finding the same problem, he started towards the garage. ‘If the car’s not there then we’ll know they’ve gone out,’ he said.
Lucy watched as he hauled open one of the doors, and seeing the old Rover sitting there alone she felt an uncontrollable surge of frustration. ‘This is crazy,’ she cried. ‘If they’re not here then surely they must be somewhere they can call me – except I’m bloody well here now, so they can’t get through.’
‘I have an idea,’ Michael said. ‘Why don’t you take my car to wherever they go shopping, and I’ll wait here in case they come back.’
‘I can’t let you do that. If we could get into the house, maybe, but …’
‘I expect we’ll manage it somehow,’ he said, and sure enough a few minutes later he’d managed to force open the back door without causing any damage.
‘There,’ he said, holding up his car keys. ‘I’ll make myself a nice cup of tea while you go off in pursuit.’
‘Are you sure? This isn’t what I expected …’
‘I know, and I’m sure, unless you’d rather stay and I’ll go.’
Not too keen on that idea, Lucy took the keys and after telling him to make himself at home, she went to get into the kind of car she’d never even travelled in before today, much less driven.
An hour later she was back, and seeing the Rover still alone in the garage she gave a growl of despair.
‘No sign of them, and no reply from the mobile,’ she announced, finding Michael seated comfortably next to the hearth with his feet on the fender, reading a book.
‘No, there wouldn’t be,’ he said, nodding towards the phone he’d left on the table. ‘I found that next to the kettle, so wherever they’ve gone they’ve forgotten to take it with them.’
Lucy’s eyes closed in dismay. ‘They’re both so forgetful these days it’s a wonder they can remember who they are, never mind that they even have a phone. Whatever happens when we finally catch up with them, I’m going to insist that they move out of here. I shouldn’t have allowed it in the first place, but they bought it especially for their retirement …’
‘Well, it does have a lot of charm,’ he pointed out, ‘and if you like being this remote …’ Understanding from the look on her face that she didn’t, he glanced at his watch as he rose to his feet. ‘I’m afraid there’s a meeting I have to get back for.’
‘Yes, of course. I’ll leave a note to let them know we came and tell them they have to get in touch.’ She thought of the envelope in her bag and said, ‘Do you think I should leave the cuttings too?’
He frowned. ‘No, it’s probably best to hang on to them for now,’ he decided, and leaving her to her task he went to rinse the cup he’d used, then checked the back door was secure before they returned to the car.
A little over two hours later Lucy was driving her old Peugeot out of Chipping Sodbury, trying to contain the anger towards Joe she’d built up during the journey. If he’d done as she’d asked at the weekend and gone down to Exmoor, she might not have had a wasted trip today at a time when she could least afford it.
‘Oh great, so everything’s my fault again,’ he cried when she connected to him. ‘Like I told them not to be in when you got there, and maybe I even got them to leave their phone behind, because that’s the kind of thing I’d do.’
‘Why do you have to be like this?’ she snapped angrily. ‘You always used to be there for me, and my parents …’
‘Oh, so they’re your parents again now, are they? I thought you’d managed to slough them off like a bad skin, the same way you’re trying with me.’
Not bothering to consider how much truth there might be in that where he was concerned, she said, ‘If anything’s happened to them, Joe, I want you to know that I shall hold you responsible,’ and without caring how unreasonable she was being, she cut the line dead.
Sarah was in the office, going over the paperwork John had brought back from his deliveries half an hour ago. As always, with him, everything was in perfect order, making it a simple job for her to enter the information into the computer before the notes themselves were filed away. Since she’d known he was coming she’d had time to work out what to say to him without, she hoped, making either of them feel awkward about the fact that her mother was due to arrive tomorrow. If she kept everything on a friendly but professional level, that should do it, she’d told herself. So she’d been all prepared to show him the email that had arrived from Maureen Crumpton earlier, until he’d walked in the door with his new haircut and a merry twinkle in his eye, when all she could think about was her father and how little he seemed to mean to everyone now.
‘Oh darling, of course I loved him,’ her mother had assured her when she’d called to ask. ‘You know as well as I do that it was impossible not to.’
Yes, Sarah did know that, but it didn’t change the fact that her mother had once been married to John, and had also had three children with him, before apparently divorcing him, and marrying again. So, was losing Alexandra the cause of the split? It must have been, not only because it had happened around the same time, but because no sane woman would ever stay married to someone who’d killed her child.
Except her mother was insisting that he hadn’t, while John himself had told Simon that he’d pleaded guilty to the crime. Why on earth would he do that if he was innocent? No one would. It made no sense at all.
Feeling suddenly desperate to speak to her father, she began doing so in her mind. ‘Should I go back online to find out what I can about Alexandra?’ she asked him. ‘Did you know her? Were you a part of their lives then?’
Though she’d opened up a search several times, so far she hadn’t summoned the courage to go through with any of them. Maybe, if Simon or Becky were with her, or even Lucy, she wouldn’t be so afraid of having to deal with yet more tragedy in her family. But they weren’t, and though she sorely wished she was stronger, she was still too fragile after all the losses of the past few years to feel ready to cope with any more whilst sitting there alone.
Hearing footsteps coming across the courtyard, she quickly closed down the Google screen and returned to the Excel sheets she’d been working on until a few minutes ago.
‘You’re still here,’ Lucy said, coming in through the door. ‘Have you seen Hanna?’
‘Yes, she came back about an hour ago,’ Sarah replied. ‘I think she went into the house. Isn’t she there now?’
‘I don’t know, I haven’t checked.’
‘Are you OK?’ Sarah asked, peering at her curiously as Lucy started to sift through her mail. ‘How were your parents?’
Shaking her head, Lucy said, ‘I’ve no idea. They weren’t there and God only knows when they’re intending to come back. Plus, they managed to leave their damned phone behind.’
‘Oh dear,’ Sarah murmured. ‘So a wasted mission?’
‘Tell me about it. Michael suggested going again tomorrow, but I can’t afford the time.’
‘Michael?’
Remembering that Sarah didn’t know her real reason for going to Exmoor, Lucy said, ‘Yes, he has some … papers for them to sign so he offered to drive. I should go to find Hanna. Is everything all right here?’
‘More or less, provided you discount a nasty little email from Maureen Crumpton demanding two years’ salary as severance pay or she’ll be suing for wrongful dismissal.’
Lucy’s eyes flashed. ‘Doesn’t the woman realise we’ve got far more important issues to be dealing with than her pe
tty claims?’ she snapped.
‘Or veiled blackmail,’ Sarah pointed out.
‘Well, they know where they can go with that. You’d better forward it to Michael,’ she said, grabbing the phone as it rang. ‘Hello, Cromstone Auc …’
‘It’s me,’ Joe told her tightly. ‘I don’t appreciate the way you hung up on me just now, and frankly, if anyone’s to blame for what’s going on with you it’s your bloody parents themselves, not me. OK?’
Since Sarah was right there, Lucy said, ‘OK.’
He waited. ‘Is that it? Don’t I get an apology?’
‘In your dreams,’ she retorted, and hanging up on him again she said to Sarah, ‘Is John still around?’
‘I don’t think so,’ Sarah replied. ‘I’ve just forwarded the email to Michael, so now, if it’s all right with you, I’d better go and get some shopping in before my mother arrives tomorrow.’
Lucy blinked. ‘Your mother’s coming?’ she said. ‘Did I know that? Oh God, don’t tell me I’ve been so preoccupied …’
‘Don’t worry, I didn’t mention it, but yes, she is. Her plane arrives at midday and she’s asked John to pick her up.’
Realising how difficult that might be for Sarah, Lucy tried to think of something suitable to say.
‘Which means,’ Sarah continued, ‘that we won’t have him tomorrow, so I’ve booked Sadwells to come and help with the house clearance over at Nailsworth.’
‘Are you supervising that?’ Lucy asked. ‘I thought it was on my schedule.’
‘It was, but I hope you don’t mind, I need to lose myself in something for the day so I changed it.’
‘That’s fine,’ Lucy assured her, coming to give her a hug. She needed some time in the office after being gone all day, and with no one else around she’d be able to have another look in the barn to see if her mother had left anything else behind. Maybe, by some miracle, there was another box that might offer some sort of rational explanation for what she’d already found.
‘I’ll be off then,’ Sarah said.
Lucy was about to wish her goodnight when, realising how vulnerable she must be feeling, she said, ‘I’m sure Hanna’s already got plans for the evening, so if you’d like to eat here, with me, I’d love the company. I mean, when you get back from the supermarket.’
Sarah smiled. ‘That would be great,’ she replied. ‘I can pick something up for us while I’m there, like …’
‘Wine?’
Sarah laughed. ‘Definitely that, and something wicked like pizza or fish and chips.’
‘I’m sold, and I think that’s your mobile ringing …’
Checking to see who it was, Sarah grimaced. ‘My sister, Becky. This could be a tricky one, because she’ll want to know why Mummy’s summoned her to Cromstone this weekend.’
‘Do you know why your mother’s summoned her?’ Lucy asked.
Feeling herself starting to colour, Sarah said, ‘I’ve an idea, but I’m not the one to put it into words. I’d rather leave that to those who know the answers, namely my mother and John, that way I won’t make any mistakes in the telling.’
Chapter Twenty-One
IT WAS HARD for John to believe that this day had finally come. He knew, without counting, how long he’d been waiting, hoping, even praying to a god he no longer believed in, that he would see her again. Thirty-four endless years – and four months, to be absolutely precise. And now, here she was, coming into the arrivals hall, making his heart trip and sing with her beauty that age seemed only to have enhanced. Seeing her appear a little anxious as she looked around for him, he started forward, then she saw him and he knew without any doubt that she’d been longing for this day too.
Not sparing a thought for the crowds around them, he pushed through to her, and drawing her into his arms he held her with a determination never to let go.
‘John,’ she laughed breathlessly, still clinging to him, ‘we’re blocking the way.’
Pulling back to gaze into the eyes that he had never forgotten, and that, to his joy, hadn’t changed at all, he started to smile in a way that was impossible to stop. To say that everything he’d ever done was for her would be a claim that some men might find shaming, but for him it was a truth he knew with pride.
‘You’re still the same,’ she told him, cupping a hand around his cheek.
His eyes twinkled. ‘This is the silver-top version,’ he joked, as a brutal-looking female with a psychedelic roller bag crashed into them.
With the throaty chuckle he remembered so well, she said, ‘I really think we need to move.’
Taking her hand and her bag, he walked her outside, hardly able to stop looking at her.
Laughing, and even blushing, she said, ‘You’re reminding me of when we first met.’
He laughed too, and watched her draw a hood up around her lustrous ebony hair that had acquired some glints of silver now, and lost much of its length. He remembered how she used to plait it, and the way he’d shake it loose and inhale the scent of her as though it were a drug that could make him high. How afraid he’d been that he would never do that again.
Leaving her under shelter he went to pay for the parking, and was aware of her watching the rain sweeping the landscape in soft, feathery waves. He wondered if she remembered how they’d never allowed the weather to get in the way of a family day out. Their children weren’t going to be fainthearts who cowered from storms, they were going to embrace everything life had to offer, good or bad, because they had parents who adored them and would always keep them safe, no matter what.
How right they were – and then how tragically, devastatingly wrong.
‘There are some good pubs not far from here,’ he said, as he drove them out of the car park. ‘I was hoping you’d let me take you for lunch.’
Smiling, she said, ‘I’d like that.’
Wanting to laugh and cheer in his happiness, he somehow managed to hold on to his dignity as he said, ‘So tell me about France. Are you enjoying it there?’
Her tone was droll as she said, ‘It has its moments.’
Loving her understatement, he reached for her hand, and as he wound his fingers around hers he realised she was wearing the narrow band of sapphires he’d given her when the twins were born. ‘You kept it,’ he said.
Surprised, she turned to him. ‘Of course. I have everything you gave me, including the boxes and the cards.’
Swallowing a rise of emotion, he said, ‘Did Douglas know that?’
‘Yes, but I didn’t flaunt it. It wouldn’t have been fair.’
Thinking of how deeply he had envied Douglas over the years for living the life that should have been his, he said, ‘He was a very special man.’
Looking down at their hands, she said, ‘I know he stayed in touch with you.’
He indicated to turn right into the Chew valley. ‘I used to live for his letters. With his gift for writing he could bring you all to life for me in a way that went far beyond mere news. He’d send me photographs too, from time to time, mostly of the children, but occasionally of you.’
‘I didn’t know that,’ she whispered, ‘but I do know that you never wrote back.’
‘Because he asked me not to, and I understood that. Once he’d adopted the children they had to be his, and I had to let go.’
‘Oh John,’ she murmured softly, her eyes welling with tears. ‘Did we do the right thing? Maybe it was wrong to keep the truth from them.’
‘Maybe, but it seemed the only way at the time, and if I had to do it over again I don’t think I’d change my decision.’
Her hand tightened around his, and she caught a tear from her lashes. ‘I used to think about you all alone, cut off from us …’
‘Ssh, it’s over now. It ended a long time ago.’
‘But it still haunts me.’
Glancing at her, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘One of the officers said something to me once that has always stayed with me. He said, “As each hour passes it’s
like a door has closed. You will never be able to revisit that hour to undo something you regret, or to do something you should have, so it’s important to make the hour you are in the one that counts.”’
Gratefully, she said, ‘I’m glad to think you knew someone like that while you were in that place.’
‘Not everyone was bad,’ he assured her, ‘and after a while you learn how to stay away from those that are. But all those doors are closed now, thank God, and I’d rather think about the one we’ve just opened.’
With a playful ring in her voice she said, ‘So what are we going to do to make this hour special?’
‘It already is, with you being here.’ Reaching a red light at roadworks, he turned to brush his fingers over her cheek. ‘I’m starting to feel as though all the years have melted away and we’re young again.’
She smiled. ‘I think I am too,’ she admitted. ‘In fact, it’s like we’ve never been apart.’
‘Maybe that’s because in our hearts we haven’t.’
Bringing his hand to her lips, she said, ‘That’s true.’
Hearing someone beep behind he drove on along the country road until they reached the pub he’d found earlier, before going to pick her up.
‘This is lovely,’ she murmured, as they came to a stop facing the view of meandering hills and a rain-spattered lake. ‘Very fitting for our reunion, since our first date was spent rowing on the Serpentine in Hyde Park.’
Delighted that she’d made the connection, he said, ‘I’d take you again today if the weather allowed, but I imagine you’d prefer something dry and a little less windswept.’
‘You’re right,’ and after he’d come round and opened her door, she raised her hood again and ran with him across the car park into the bar.
Settling her at a table next to the window, he went to order their drinks while she sent a text to Sarah letting her know she’d arrived, but that she wouldn’t be home right away. When John returned, she told him what she’d said.
‘Do you think she’ll mind?’ he asked, setting down her glass of wine and his pint of beer.
