I stretched a little before grabbing my cell phone off my night stand. For the past week, every time I woke up I felt a sinking disappointment in my chest upon checking my phone and seeing that I had no new text messages. Prior to us “cooling it,” I received a good morning text every single morning, and several throughout the day and one right before bed. I swallowed hard as I looked at the screen. No new messages. I scowled, my heart rate increasing as I remembered my dreams from the night before.
Knock it off, Harlow, I chided myself. Everything is fine. I stood up, making my way quickly to the bathroom for a much needed shower. I brushed my wet hair and applied makeup with a quick, unwavering hand. The restless night of sleep had shown too much on my face to avoid makeup, although I seriously wanted to. I felt as if my limbs weighed a thousand pounds each. I was moving slowly, almost sloth like. I couldn't believe that I was feeling like this after just one day in court, a couple hours on the stand.
"I'll drive you to school," Mom said, tossing a muffin at me. I caught it, but set it on the counter.
"I'm not hungry," I said, looking away. Mom’s lips pursed, she was concerned. "It's okay, I'll get something at the school for lunch," I added. That seemed to appease her, and she shrugged, grabbing her keys from the table.
"Are you ready to go?" she asked.
I nodded, slipping into my boots and coat. I picked up my bag slowly, following her out to her car. She turned it on prior too, so it was nice and toasty warm when we got in. Still, my wet hair had frozen in places. I shook my head, breaking the frozen bits apart with gentle fingers. Mom looked at me again, concern clearly radiating off her as she backed out of our driveway. She was silent the entire drive to the school, and didn't say anything until she pulled up front.
I glanced at her, muttering a quick thanks under my breath, and jumped out of the car. I swung my bag on my back as I made my way down the main foyer of the school. I walked into the principal's office, ignoring the plump secretary as she disapprovingly signed me in and gave me a hall pass. I took it off her, meeting her eyes with a firm gaze.
"Have a good day now, buh-bye," she said pointedly. I walked away, stealing another glance at her as I left. She was shaking her head in disdain.
I really couldn't figure out why the school's secretary hated me so much. It couldn't just be that she saw my tattoos on my first day of school and hated them. That seemed to be the turning point in her behavior to me. But regardless, I didn't care enough to really read into it. Shrugging, I pulled open the door and made my way to my second period class. I already knew Jenna wouldn't be there, she was officially doing correspondence at home, so I kept to myself for pretty much the whole day. At the end of third period, I was at my locker grabbing my math textbook. Jake found me there. He leaned against the locker beside mine and grinned.
"Hey," he said. "You weren't in homeroom!"
"Yeah, I know. Slept in. So how did your…thing go?" I asked, shoving a book into my bag. I went to close the door; it was slightly warped, so I had to shut it with force. It slammed, drawing the attention of a couple students passing by.
"Fine." Jake shrugged. "How's Jenna doing? I was hoping I'd get to talk to her after…but…"
"She's fine. I thought you had her number?"
"No." Jake's smile was almost wistful. "We talked on Facebook a few times…but then she deleted it."
"Oh?" I hadn't realized Jenna had deleted her Facebook. Granted, I hadn't been on it in a couple weeks. "Do you want her number?"
"I don't know if she wants me to have it." Jake shrugged again. "But if you talk to her…give her mine."
"Okay," I said, almost bewildered by his behavior. He was acting shy.
"Cool, well. I've gotta run." He started to walk away, but paused and looked at me. "Did you want a ride to work tonight?"
"Thanks, but I don't work," I answered, smiling. "I'm going to Jenna's."
"Really?" Jake looked thoughtful.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you can give me a ride."
"Alright alright, I'll give you a ride," Jake joked, grinning at me. "See ya after school!"
I watched him walk off, smiling and shaking my head. I was confident in my earlier assumption – Jake had a thing for Jenna. It was sweet to see. I was wondering how Jenna felt about Jake when I caught Iain's eye from across the crowded hallway. He was walking down toward the parking lot exit, holding his briefcase. He had a peculiar look on his face, an odd set to his mouth like he was displeased by something. My breath hitched. Was he displeased by the mere sight of me, or had it been Jake and me talking? I couldn't ask him, not with all the people around, and he'd turned his head the moment he saw me looking at him. He walked down the hall with determination, not stopping to smile at the students like usual. Something was up.
The bell rang, and students started walking with more purpose toward their last period classes. I hesitated, filled with the drive to follow Iain's retreating figure down the hall and into his abandoned classroom. I needed a moment with him. Just a moment. Fourth period was a spare for him as well, and he used that time to catch up on his lesson plans and marking. He paused with his hand on the door. I knew it'd look suspicious if I just followed him inside, so I spoke up, my voice calm.
"Mr. Bentley…Do you have a moment? I wanted to talk to you about a university referral letter?"
He looked at me, the surprise and tension quickly fading to amusement, then he schooled his features to indifference and nodded. "I have a few to spare." He held open the door for me, allowing me to walk in. We both tried to remain natural, but it was hard to resist the pull we had toward each other. I was relieved that it was still there. The dark, taunting voice in my head had nearly convinced me none of it had ever happened.
I waited until Iain set his briefcase down on his desk and sat, motioning to one of the empty desks in front of him.
"It's very wise of you to get referral letters from all your teachers," Iain said, his voice full of authority and approval. I could tell by the glint in his eyes that he meant it. "Have you figured out where you want to go yet?"
"I'm leaning toward the University of Ottawa," I replied breezily, leaning back in the desk chair while I remembered our weekend in Ottawa.
Iain smiled, remembering it too. "It's a good university. I believe you'd be a great fit. What are you hoping to take?"
"I hope to get a BA in English, maybe with an emphasis on women's studies." I shrugged. I still wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do. I knew it was going to involve my love of the written language—and the further away from this town I got, the better.
"Well, I'd be happy to write a referral," Iain said, looking at me steadily. I grinned. Seeing his expression in the hallway had me worried. It was nice sitting there talking to him, even if it was about school. "You should also book an appointment with the guidance counselor, about getting started on your university application. It's a tedious process."
"Okay." I nodded, figuring that'd be a good idea.
"It's time you got back to class though, Harlow," Iain told me, giving me one last longing look. He didn't promise to call me or text, and I somehow knew that he wouldn't.
I hurried to my final class—math—and apologized to the teacher before finding my seat. I forced myself to pay attention to his monotone voice to almost no avail. My mind kept drifting to Iain, the trial, the photos, university, and Iain again. I accepted our latest assignment before the bell rang. I didn't even know what he'd been lecturing us on. Irritated with myself for having zoned out, I shoved the assignment paper in my bag and stood up. I darted past the students taking their time leaving the classroom and hurried to my locker to grab my jacket. Jake was waiting, leaning casually against the lockers, texting on his phone.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," Jake said, nodding. He waited for me to grab my coat then we headed out to the parking lot to his Jeep.
I reached into my coat pocket, pulling my phone out. Just as I thought. There were no messages from Iain
. Wrinkling my nose in minor disappointment, I quickly typed out a text to Jenna: On my way over. Jake is driving me. Want anything?
I waited less than a minute for Jenna's reply: DQ Blizzard?
"Seriously? It's freezing out!" I said out loud, shaking my head. Jake sent me a curious look. "She wants a DQ Blizzard," I answered his unspoken question.
"Ahhh." Jake nodded, looking amused. "Okay, that's doable. But I want a coffee."
"Me too." I yawned. My energy was spent. My body felt numb, although my mind kept whirling about everything. It was a lot of drama for one to handle. I suddenly missed Lauren with a furious pang in my heart, but I tried to shake it off without success. As if you could shake something like that off. It always welled up in me, catching me off guard. With Iain distancing himself from me, I felt vulnerable and alone. This was a time where I'd normally lean on Lauren.
Jake fired up his Jeep and drove us to the nearest Tim Horton’s while I sat in silence, looking out the window, brooding. Jake tried to make conversation a few times, then gave up and put on his stereo. Lorde pumped through the aftermarket speakers.
"Lorde?" I raised an eyebrow, impressed with his music choice.
"Yeah." He shrugged, grinning. "She's got a great voice." I nodded in agreement as he pulled up to the Tim Horton’s drive-thru window. Jake looked to me expectantly, and I told him my order. He repeated it and his own, and handed the teller a five-dollar bill. I insisted on thrusting some coins at him for mine and he insisted on trying to refuse.
"Don't be ridiculous," I snapped, tossing the coins into his cup holder. He rolled his eyes at my outburst.
"What's up with you?" he demanded. "Trouble in paradise?"
I gritted my teeth. "No, I just don't have any patience today, so don't test me."
"Whatever. Next stop, DQ." Jake shrugged. He ordered Jenna's Blizzard, refusing to accept my money. "I've got this one. I want to."
I rolled my eyes dramatically, trying to hide my smile. I knew exactly why Jake wanted to buy the Blizzard. His blossoming crush on Jenna was completely obvious. Jake put Jenna's Blizzard in his cup holder and started driving toward her house. Within ten minutes we were there. That was one of the perks to North Bay—you could get anywhere within ten or fifteen minutes, providing there wasn't any construction or accidents. People in North Bay seemed to know how to drive in the snow a lot better than people down south. Probably because the people in North Bay had to adjust to almost eight solid months of snow, while people down south barely got a dusting around Christmas time.
We pulled up into Jenna's driveway and Jake hesitated. I could tell he wanted to come in, but wasn't sure if he would be welcome.
"You have her Blizzard. Trust me, you'll be more welcome than me," I told him, jumping out of his Jeep and slamming the door. I nearly slipped on the ice patch under my feet, and grabbed the Jeep's handle to steady myself. My coffee sloshed over my hand, the hot liquid burning my skin slightly. "Fuck," I muttered, switching the coffee over to my other hand and wiping my right hand on the bottom of my jeans angrily.
"You okay?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I'm fine," I said, feeling anything but.
We walked up the front steps and I knocked on the door before opening it. I'd been to visit Jenna so many times before that I felt totally comfortable just walking in, especially knowing that her parents would be at work for another two hours at least. I kicked off my boots and called out Jenna's name. Jake followed me inside, keeping quiet as he held onto his coffee and Jenna's Blizzard.
"In here!" Jenna called back. I found her in the living room, watching MTV's Jersey Shore.
"Again?" I rolled my eyes. "This show is so stupid it's actually painful."
"What else am I supposed to do?" Jenna pouted. "There's not much on during the day."
"Read a book?" I suggested, repressing the urge to laugh at her death glare.
"I have. I've read six this week so far. My eyes hurt," Jenna retorted hotly. "Oh, hi Jake." Jenna straightened up a little as Jake walked in behind me. She self-consciously adjusted the blanket over her belly to hide it and ran a hand through her already perfect hair. She shot me a look that said some warning would have been nice. I figured the text would have been warning enough, but apparently not.
"Hey." He grinned, looking as if he felt a little awkward. He held up her Blizzard. "We got you this."
"Oh, thank you!" Jenna blushed, accepting it as he handed it to her. She timidly looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back.
"Oh good Lord," I grumbled, falling onto the couch opposite Jenna. Both of them turned to stare at me, Jake with an amused smile and Jenna with embarrassment. "Cut the crap, you two. It's okay to be into each other."
"I—" Jenna blushed deeper, glaring at me.
"Well, that wasn't awkward." Jake rolled his eyes, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Just get her number and make plans or something," I told him, trying to keep the note of bitterness out of my tone. It'd be easy for them to be together. They didn't have to worry about being discovered; they wouldn't have a forbidden relationship. Okay, so it wouldn't be as easy for them as it would for most considering Jenna's condition, but they stood a better chance than me and Iain. At least nobody would end up in jail.
"She's on to something," Jake said, looking at Jenna expectantly. "So…can I have your number?"
"Yeah…sure." Jenna's blue eyes were bright with excitement. She gave him her number as he programmed it into his phone.
"I'll text you so you know mine," Jake said, quickly typing a text into his phone. We heard Jenna's go off on the arm of the couch beside her, and she smiled.
"See? That wasn't so terrible," I remarked dryly, leaning back. I took another sip of my still hot coffee, staring ahead of me. Jenna and Jake exchanged a look and he shrugged at her.
"I'll catch you guys later," he said, making to leave. Jenna waited until we heard him pull away from her driveway to start in on me.
"What's gotten into you?" she demanded, adjusting her body so that she was facing me. Her belly was getting rounder every day, part of the reason why she had decided to do correspondence.
I tried to think of an answer that would satisfy Jenna that wouldn't give away too much of my situation. My mouth opened and closed several times before I finally settled on my answer. "Guy troubles."
Jenna stared at me, waiting for more. She raised one eyebrow delicately. "What kind of 'guy troubles'?" she asked, even going as far as to give finger quotations.
"The kind that I can't really talk about." I shrugged. "It's complicated."
"Oh, I bet it is," Jenna said, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. I didn't have the patience for games right now. I was in quite the foul mood, thanks to my direction of thought that afternoon. I just wanted to go home and sleep, but I had promised Jenna I would come by.
"I think I know," Jenna said softly, muting the TV to shut out Snooki's irritating drivel about guidos.
"Know what?" My frown deepened as my heartbeat increased, but I kept my hand steady as I brought my coffee up to my lips to take another sip.
"Ben," Jenna said after a moment. "He's…not really Ben, is he? It's…Mr. Bentley. I've seen the way you guys look at each other…"
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't realized Jenna had been paying that much attention. I took another sip of my coffee, trying to buy myself some time.
"That's ridiculous," I said, giving her a look that said you are clearly off your rocker.
Jenna gave me a silencing glare. "Oh please. I'm not an idiot," she said, rolling her eyes. "There's an…energy, about you two." She gazed off into the distance with a small smile on her lips.
I winced, unsure of this entire conversation.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to rat you guys out," Jenna said, shaking her head to clear whatever thoughts she'd been having. "Frankly, I'm kind of impressed. Mr. Bentley is hot."
> I put my coffee down on the end table with shaky hands and leaned forward, covering my face with my hands. I didn't know what to say or do. I couldn't deny it, not without really looking like I was lying. Jenna would know, and then she'd be hurt that I hadn't told her the truth.
"So…" Jenna pressed gently, her voice edging into my panicked thoughts. "What kind of trouble with 'Ben'?"
"Just…trouble. Outside influences rocking the boat, so we're 'cooling it.'" I shrugged. It was easier to talk to her when she called Iain 'Ben,' I could still pretend that Jenna had no idea who Ben really was.
"I'd show up on his doorstep, personally." Jenna shrugged. "Demand an explanation. Not leave until I got it."
"No, you wouldn't." I laughed. "You could barely give Jake your number without turning a very adorable shade of pink."
"Well, circumstances are a bit different, aren't they?" Jenna smiled sadly, absently putting her hand on her swollen stomach. "It's hard to be confident with…"
"I know," I said quickly, feeling guilty. "But it's actually tough for us too, believe it or not. Ia—Ben could go to jail for sexual exploitation. He's our teacher. Besides, I seriously don't even think Jake sees that. I mean, he sees it, but not the way you think. He sees you as a remarkably strong and admirable person."
"Why?" Jenna asked, wisely ignoring to comment on Iain and instead focusing on Jake. "How do you know that?"
"Jake's an open book, he's super easy to read," I said, shrugging. "It's the subtle asking about you every day, the way he smiles at you…that kind of thing. He's into you."
"Now is kind of a bad time." Jenna looked down at her stomach.
"Hey, if you find a guy that's willing to stick around for this? He's a keeper. If Jake's interested in you, it's because he's interested in you," I said.
"If you're so full of sage advice, why don't you go talk to 'Ben'? Read him." Jenna smirked.
I sighed. "Because…"
Collide Series Box Set Page 19
