by Joanna Neil
‘It was difficult at first, but then it became easier.’ She pulled a face. ‘I suppose I should have persevered a bit more before getting rid of my car.’
He opened the passenger door for her. ‘I suspected there was more to it when you sold your car…some kind of problem with driving. It might not be a bad idea to get yourself some transport now that you’ve made a start…keep up the good work, so to speak. It would be a shame if you were to lose your nerve again.’
She studied him thoughtfully as he slid behind the wheel and started the engine. Then she said in a faintly accusing tone, ‘You did it on purpose, didn’t you—giving me the keys? What would have happened if I’d refused? How would you have managed to get home?’
‘Same way as always. I’d have cadged a lift back with the paramedics or hailed a taxi. Sometimes the police will drive the car to the hospital for me.’ His mouth twitched. ‘I was pretty sure you could do it, though. You’re not one to give up easily.’
She frowned. ‘That makes two trials you’ve put me through in one day—I suppose I can expect more of this from you? Do you have some sort of interest in me getting back on form?’
He thought about that. ‘I might,’ he said with a smile. ‘Then again…’ He frowned, deep in thought for a second or two. ‘Perhaps it would be better if…’ He broke off.
‘If…?’ she prompted, but he stayed annoyingly silent, a brooding expression around his mouth and eyes. What was it that he didn’t want her to remember? What had happened between them that he couldn’t bring himself to share? It was exasperating not being able to bring things to mind in an instant. Would she ever get to know the truth?
An even darker thought popped into her head… he had grown on her this last week or so, but would she still feel the same way about him if she learned what was hidden in their past? Perhaps that was what haunted him.
He parked up at the house, and she left him to go back to the annexe alone. It had been a long, tiring day for her so far, and she needed to wind down and think things through.
‘Will you let me know if you hear anything from the hospital?’
‘Of course. Though I doubt they’ll ring me unless there’s any change for the worse. No news is good news, so to speak.’
‘Okay.’
She hadn’t expected to remember so much of her work as a doctor, but it had started to come back to her when Charlie’s life had hung in the balance. What should she do about that? Was she ready to return to work? Would she be able to cope on a day-to-day basis?
Anyway, she wasn’t going to decide anything in a hurry. For the moment she would concentrate on getting back to normality as best she could. She would do as her doctor had suggested, and take advantage of her time here in Devon to recuperate, by doing some gardening, or wandering round the shops in town, and exploring the seashore whenever the weather was good.
The very next day she made up her mind to go down to the beach. They were enjoying a few days of brilliant sunshine, and it would have been sheer folly not to make the most of it.
The easiest way to get there from the house was via a crooked footpath that ended in a long, winding flight of steps and eventually led to a small, beautiful cove sheltered by tall cliffs. She’d been there a couple of times since her arrival here, and she set off again now, taking with her a beach bag and a few essentials…including sun cream and a bottle of pop.
The cove was fairly isolated, but even so several families must have had the same idea and were intent on enjoying themselves by the sea.
She sat down in the shade of a craggy rock and watched the children playing on the smooth sand. Some splashed at the water’s edge, while others threw beach balls or dug in the sand with plastic buckets and spades. Her eyes darkened momentarily. This was what Charlie should be doing, enjoying the weekend sunshine with his family.
There’d been no news from the hospital about the little boy, and she’d thought about giving them a call. But she wasn’t a relative, and none of the staff at the hospital knew her, so she doubted they would reveal confidential information. She had to rely on Matt to tell her if there was anything she needed to know. He would, she was sure. She trusted him to do that.
She frowned. He was so open with everything else. Why was he so reluctant to talk about their past?
A small boy, dressed in blue bathing trunks, came to stand a few yards away from her. He was about four years old, with black hair and solemn grey-blue eyes, and he stood there silently, watching her. There was an empty bucket in his hand.
She smiled at him and put up a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. ‘Hello. What’s your name?’
‘Ben.’
‘I’m Saffi,’ she told him. ‘Are you having a good time here on the beach? The sand’s lovely and warm, isn’t it?’
He nodded, but said nothing, still staring at her oddly, and she said carefully, ‘Are you all right? Is something bothering you?’
He shrugged his shoulders awkwardly and she raised a questioning brow. ‘You can tell me,’ she said encouragingly. ‘I don’t mind.’
‘You look sad,’ he said.
Ah. ‘Do I?’ She smiled. ‘I’m not really. It’s too lovely a day for that, isn’t it?’
He nodded, but his expression was sombre, far too wise for a four-year-old.
‘Are you sad sometimes?’ she asked, prompted by a vague intuition.
He nodded again. ‘It hurts here,’ he said, putting a hand over his tummy.
Saffi watched him curiously, wondering what could be making him feel unhappy. Being here on the beach and being out of sorts didn’t seem to go together somehow.
‘Do you feel sad now?’ she asked.
He shook his head. ‘I did, a bit, ’cos I don’t see Daddy every day, like I used to. But it’s all right now.’
‘Oh. Well, that’s good. I’m glad for you. Are you on holiday here with your daddy?’
He shook his head. ‘We live here.’
She looked around to see if his father was anywhere nearby, and saw a man just a few yards away, in rolledup jeans and tee shirt, kneeling down in the sand, putting the finishing touches to a large sandcastle. When he stood up and looked around, Saffi’s throat closed in startled recognition.
Matt came towards them. ‘What are you up to, Ben? I thought you were coming down to the sea to fill up your bucket. Or have you changed your mind about getting water for the moat?’
Then he looked at Saffi and his eyes widened in appreciation, taking in her curves, outlined by the sun top and shorts that clung faithfully to her body. ‘Hi…I wondered if I might see you down here some time.’
She nodded vaguely, but inside she was reeling from this new discovery. Matt had a son? That meant he was married—or at least involved with someone. It was like a blow to her stomach and she crumpled inside. Was this what he’d been trying to keep under wraps? No wonder she’d been guarded about her feelings towards him…her subconscious mind had been warning her off…but weren’t those warnings all too late?
Ben was looking at Matt with wide-eyed innocence. ‘I do want to finish the moat. I was just talking to the lady.’
‘Hmm.’ Matt studied him thoughtfully. ‘You know what we’ve said about talking to strangers?’
The boy nodded. ‘But she’s not a stranger, is she? I know her name. She’s Saffi.’
Matt made a wry face, trying unsuccessfully not to smile at that marvellous piece of childish logic.
He shook his head, looking at Saffi. ‘I guess I don’t need to introduce you to one another. Ben seems to have taken care of all that for me.’ He lightly ruffled the boy’s hair. ‘He’s going to be staying with me for a week or so.’
‘Oh, I see,’ she said slowly, and then with a dry mouth she added quietly, ‘I didn’t realise you had a child. You didn’t say anything about him.’
He raised his brows in surprise. ‘You think I have a child? Heavens, no—that’s not going to happen any time soon. I’m not planning on getting involved i
n any deep, long-term relationships.’ He frowned. ‘Once bitten, as they say…’
Saffi stared at him, feeling a mixture of relief and dismay at his words. He wasn’t married. That was something at least. But as to the rest, she didn’t know what to think. He’d spoken quickly, without giving the matter much thought, but it was clear his feelings were heartfelt. Once bitten, he’d said. Who had hurt him and made him feel that way?
Matt seemed to give himself a shake to get back on track and said, ‘Ben’s my nephew, my sister’s child. I should have told you right away, but I think I was a little bit distracted with this talking-to-strangers business. I barely took my eyes off him while I finished off the drawbridge, yet he managed to wander off. I could see him, out of the corner of my eye, talking to someone, but you have to be so careful…It can be a bit of a nightmare, taking care of children.’
‘Well, yes. I can see that it must be worrying.’ She was still caught up in his comment about long-term relationships. So, when he flirted with her it was nothing more than a bit of fun, a light-hearted romance. Of course it was. Why would she have expected anything more? She barely knew him.
At least it was out in the open, though, and she would be on her guard even more from now on. She didn’t think she was the sort of woman who would be content with a relationship that wasn’t meaningful. Or was she? Her mind was a blank where past boyfriends were concerned.
Matt turned to Ben once more, crouching down so that he was at the boy’s level. ‘I think you and I need to have another serious chat some time, Ben. Do you remember we talked about strangers?’
Ben nodded.
‘That’s good. So, what would you say if a stranger came up to you and asked if you’d like a sweet?’
Ben thought about it. ‘Um…Yes…please?’ he answered in an overly polite voice, and Matt groaned.
‘I’ve a feeling it’s going to be a long conversation,’ he murmured, getting to his feet. ‘Do you want to sort through those pebbles in the other bucket, Ben? See if you can pick out the smallest.’
‘Okay.’ Ben went to do as Matt suggested.
Saffi smiled. ‘How is it that you’re looking after him?’
‘Gemma’s ill—my sister, that is. She hasn’t been well for some time, but late last night she rang me and said she was feeling much worse. I went over there and decided she needed to be in hospital. She didn’t want to go, and kept saying it was just stress, but I insisted. At the very least, I thought she needed to have tests.’
Saffi sucked in a quick breath. ‘I’m sorry. That must have been upsetting—for you and for Ben—for all of you.’
‘Yeah, it was a bit of a blow.’
‘How has he taken it? He must miss his mother.’
‘He’s not doing too badly. I explained that she was poorly and needed to rest, and he thinks he’s spending time with me so we can have fun together.’ He looked at Ben once more. ‘Why don’t you put some of those pebbles on the wall of the sandcastle, while I talk to Saffi?’
The boy nodded, his eyes lighting up with anticipation. ‘Okay.’
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Saffi said, once the boy was absorbed in his new pursuit. ‘Do you mind me asking?’
He shook his head. ‘No, that’s all right. We’re not sure what the problem is, exactly. She’s been feeling tired and nauseous for a few weeks now, with a lot of digestive problems, and yesterday she was vomiting blood.’
He glanced at Ben, to make sure he couldn’t hear. ‘That’s why I took her to the hospital, so that the doctors can find the source of bleeding and cauterise it. They’ll start doing a series of tests from tomorrow onwards to find out what’s causing the problem.’
‘It’s good that your sister can rely on you to take care of things,’ Saffi said. ‘But how is it going to work out, with you looking after Ben? You have to be on duty at the hospital throughout the week, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but he’ll be at day nursery some of the time, and for the rest he’ll be with a childminder until I’m free to look after him. We’ll muddle through, somehow.’
He smiled at her. ‘Anyway, it’s good to see you here. Do you want to help us finish off this sandcastle? Ben’s been nagging me to bring him down here and get on with it since breakfast this morning. Of course, he’s not satisfied with plain and simple. The bigger, the better.’
She went over to the castle. ‘Wow. It looks pretty good to me.’ There were towers and carved windows and walls that surrounded different levels. ‘It’s fantastic,’ she said, and Ben beamed with pleasure at her praise.
She looked at Matt. ‘You must have been working on this all afternoon.’
‘Pretty much,’ Matt agreed. ‘There’s no slacking with this young man. He knows exactly what he wants.’
She watched the little boy arrange small pebbles on top of the castle’s main wall. He did it with absorbed concentration, placing each one carefully.
‘Shall I make some steps just here, around the side?’ Saffi asked, kneeling down, and Ben nodded approvingly.
Matt knelt down beside her and added some finishing touches to the drawbridge. After a while he sat back on his heels and surveyed his handiwork.
‘That’s not looking too bad at all,’ he mused, wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.
Saffi smiled at his boyish satisfaction. ‘You look hot. Do you want a drink?’
He nodded and she rummaged in her canvas beach bag until she found the bottle of pop. ‘Here, try some of this.’
He drank thirstily, and when he had finished she offered the bottle to Ben. He took a long swallow and then went back to work with the pebbles.
She glanced at Matt, who was studying the castle once more. ‘Has there been any news from the hospital?’ she asked, having a quick drink and then putting the bottle back in her bag.
He nodded. ‘I rang the hospital just before we left the house. Tim managed to repair Charlie’s spleen, and stabilised the pelvis. He’ll be non-weight-bearing for a while, and he’ll have to wear a spica cast for a few weeks, while the fractures in his leg and pelvis heal, but he should gradually return to his normal activities. He came through the operation all right and Tim thinks he should recover well.’
‘I’m so glad about that.’ Saffi gave a slow sigh of relief. ‘I don’t suppose you found out how he is in himself?’
‘He’s obviously frail and shocked right now, but children are very resilient. They seem to get over things far quicker than we expect.’
He glanced at Ben. ‘It all makes me thankful that it didn’t happen to my own family. Though I guess I have Gemma to worry about now.’
Kneeling beside him, Saffi laid a comforting hand on his arm. ‘You did the right thing, taking her to hospital. I’m sure they’ll get to the root of the problem before too long.’
‘Yes, I expect so.’ He looked at her hand on his arm and overlaid it with his own. His fingers gently clasped hers and his gaze was warm as it touched her face softly ‘You’re very sweet, Saffi. It’s good to have you here.’
She smiled in response, but they broke away from one another as Ben urged them to look at his creation.
‘That’s great,’ Matt told him. ‘I think we can say it’s actually finished now, can’t we?’
‘It’s wonderful,’ Saffi said.
She sat back and watched Matt and Ben, their heads together, admiring their handiwork.
A tide of warmth ran through her. What was not to love about Matt? she was drawn to him despite her misgivings. He was everything any woman could want…and yet instinct told her she had to steel herself against falling for him.
Didn’t she have enough problems to contend with already? He wasn’t the staying kind, he’d more or less said so, and the last thing she needed was to end up nursing a broken heart.
CHAPTER FOUR
SAFFI HEARD A rustling sound behind her and turned around to see that Ben had come into the garden. He stood, solemn faced, just a few yards awa
y from her.
‘Hello,’ she said with a smile. ‘You’re up and about bright and early. Are you ready for school?’
He nodded, not speaking, but watched as she tended the flowers at the back of one of the borders. It was breakfast-time, but she’d wanted to get on with the work before the sun became too hot.
‘I’m putting stakes in the ground so that I can tie up the gladioli,’ she told him, guessing that he was interested in what she was doing but unwilling to talk to her. ‘See? I’ve wrapped some twine around the stem.’
He stayed silent but seemed content to stay and watch her as she worked, and she wished there was some way she could bond with him, or at least reach out to him. What could be going on inside his head? Of course, he must be missing his parents. The disruption going on in his family was a lot for a four-year-old to handle.
‘Sometimes the flower stems get too heavy and fall over,’ she told him, trying to include him in what she a doctor to remember was doing, ‘or they might bend and break. Tying them like this keeps them standing upright.’
He nodded almost imperceptibly, and they both stood for a while, looking at the glorious display of flowers on show. There were half a dozen different colours, and Saffi was pleased with the end result of her work.
‘It’s time we were setting off for nursery school, Ben.’ Matt came to find his nephew and smiled at Saffi. ‘Hi.’ His gaze was warm and in spite of her inner warnings her heart skipped a beat as her glance trailed over him.
‘Hi.’
He was dressed for work in his role as the man in charge of A and E and the trauma unit, wearing a beautifully tailored suit, the jacket open to show a fine cotton shirt and subtly patterned silk tie.
‘It’s looking good out here,’ he said, glancing around. ‘You definitely have green fingers.’
Saffi glanced down at her grimy hands and made a face. ‘In more ways than one,’ she said with a laugh. ‘I suppose I’d better go and clean up. I need to make a trip to the shops to get some food in. The cupboard’s bare.’
‘Uh-huh. That won’t do, will it?’ His glance drifted over her, taking in her dark blue jeans and short-sleeved top. There was a glint in his dark eyes. ‘We can’t have you fading away and losing those delicious curves.’
