by Leslie Kelly
Not on the woman he’d just agreed he could never—ever—have.
8
“HER NAME IS HEATHER, and he thinks she’s me. And she apparently is letting him think that. Could you just die?”
Lulu threw herself back in her chair, swallowing a big mouthful of wine, waiting for her friends to start commiserating and giving her lots of You go girl!s.
They didn’t.
Viv merely watched her with a half smirk on her full lips, and Amelia wore a look of sad disapproval.
The three of them had met at a restaurant near Viv’s place in Georgetown, Lulu badly needing a girls’ night out after the way things had been going the past couple of weeks. She wanted her friends to be indignant on her behalf and rain curses on the evil Heather’s head, and do all the things girlfriends were supposed to do when one of them was feeling betrayed.
And she was definitely feeling betrayed.
Men could be so totally dense. Especially when they were being led around by their dicks.
After that insanely erotic, wonderful, sexy kiss she and Chaz had shared, he’d agreed that they couldn’t let things go any further, and had gone right back to obsessing over the redhead he’d met on Halloween night.
Which was Lulu.
Only she couldn’t let him know that.
And now he thought the redhead he’d met minutes after that wonderful, erotic kiss was his mysterious Halloween witch.
It was too confusing to dwell on for long. All she knew was, the witch—literally speaking, only in her mind she usually referred to Heather with the b-word instead—had apparently not made it clear to him that she wasn’t the woman he’d been searching for. The two of them appeared to be getting very cozy. Grr.
“He even invited her for Thanksgiving dinner, can you freaking believe it?”
That should definitely have earned a few That skank, bet she’s not even a real redhead comments from her gal pals. But she didn’t get them.
“You have to tell him the truth,” Amelia said, her pretty blue eyes warm and supportive.
Amelia was the nicest young woman Lulu had ever met. She never had a mean word to say to anyone, and probably did a lousy business of running her craft shop because she believed every sob story she ever heard.
But man, did she have a way of making a person feel guilty about not doing the right thing.
Lulu slunk in her chair, running her finger along the rim of her glass. “It’s too late.”
For once, Viv, who was as daring as Amelia was conservative, agreed with the other woman. “She’s right. It’s your own fault he’s hooking up with a lying ho-bag instead of you.” She grinned evilly. “You lying ho-bag.”
“Oh, shut up,” Lulu snapped, not in the mood for any ribbing.
“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t played games with him,” said Amelia.
“Exactly. None of it would have happened. I wouldn’t have had an amazing time with Chaz that almost led to—” She cut herself off before continuing. Lulu hadn’t given them all the details of what had happened after she’d left on Halloween night. She might kiss and tell, but she didn’t blow and tell.
“Or,” Amelia said, presenting an alternate scenario, “maybe if you’d been honest from the start, you two would have had a drink, caught up on old times, danced, and still left together. Only you wouldn’t have felt the need to run out on him and pretend you were someone else.”
Viv tossed down the rest of her second margarita. “You never did tell us exactly what happened that night. Did you two fuck or not?”
“Viv!” Amelia exclaimed.
“What? It would help in my advice-giving if I knew how far things went.”
Lulu just growled.
“Okay, I take it that’s a no on the uck-faying?”
Rolling her eyes as she translated Viv’s pig Latin attempt at gentility, Lulu replied, “Take it however you want.”
Honestly, she wasn’t sure how to answer. “Sort of,” seemed a little too ambiguous, and she did not want to go into details. How could she explain that she’d had just a taste of him inside her, but the memory of that heated moment was enough to make her shiver with the need to finish what they’d started?
“It’s a no,” Viv said with a laugh. “You’ve been acting like a woman who’s been put away wet without having been ridden hard.”
She could have had somebody ride her hard. Two or three somebodies, probably. She’d certainly had some offers lately, including from a couple of her kickball pals. But nobody else interested her. Chaz was the only man she wanted...and he was the only man she couldn’t have.
Why was that again? Funny, the more wine she sipped, the harder it was to remember.
“I missed my shot,” she mumbled, more to herself than to her friends. “He’s dating that red-haired girl and doesn’t even remember I’m alive.”
“Of course he does,” said Amelia. “It was obvious the way he came right over to you that night, not even knowing who you were. There was instant chemistry. Out of the whole, crowded club, he zeroed in on you and never even glanced at anyone else.”
That made her feel a little better, because it was true. She hadn’t tricked him into approaching her, he’d been the aggressor. He’d truly wanted her.
“Just seduce him and he’ll forget all about the bitch,” said Viv. “I can teach you a few moves. I’m telling you, lick a guy’s balls and he’s yours forever.”
Screeching, Amelia threw her hands over her ears, but Lulu snorted a laugh, inhaling some wine, then coughing it back up. Viv was over-the-top, but she was certainly always good for a laugh.
“Ignore her,” said Amelia. “You don’t have to play tricks, or, ahem, do anything gross.”
Well, having tasted him, Lulu didn’t agree that Viv’s suggestion was gross. In fact, exploring his entire body with her mouth sounded like pure heaven. But sweet Amelia didn’t need to know that.
“Just be honest. Go up to him and tell him the whole story. The truth and nothing but the truth. You can do it!”
Yes, she could admit she’d been sneaky and manipulative, and that she’d lied by omission on Halloween.
And Chaz would hate her for it. He had put up with a lot as a kid, but he’d never put up with anybody lying. It was his personal line in the sand, one he wouldn’t cross and wouldn’t forgive in someone else. Now, from a few things he’d said to her, she suspected it was an even bigger issue for him.
Damn it, she had left before things went past the point of no return on Halloween because she didn’t want to lie to Chaz. She hadn’t wanted to take advantage of his own male weakness and use him for great, amazing, world-shattering sex without ever revealing who she really was.
So now this Heather chick was probably using him for great, amazing, world-shattering sex without ever revealing who she really wasn’t. Namely, Lulu!
It just wasn’t fair.
“You know, Lulu,” said Amelia, sounding cautious, as though she wasn’t sure her comment would be welcome, “you haven’t mentioned anything about this being just a fling, like you planned when you were going after Schaefer. Is that still all you want, even with Chaz?”
She stared, unsure how to answer. Yes, on Halloween, she’d been after only a brief, sexual adventure. Now, though, especially having spent the past several weeks getting to know Chaz all over again, she feared she wouldn’t be content with that. But was she really ready to try for something real, somethin
g honest, that went beyond sex? It wasn’t just an issue of Chaz wanting to; she, herself, had to be sure she was ready to trust someone.
You can trust Chaz. You know you can.
With her life, maybe. He’d never physically hurt her, or allow anyone else to. But with her heart? Well, that was a whole other story. His career meant everything to him; she’d only ever be a distant second in terms of importance. She might give him her heart, but he’d never completely give her his.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “We’re friends, we share a lot, and he’d never make me feel used or unimportant. But I’m just starting a job here that means a lot to me, and he’s never in one place for long. That wouldn’t make it easy to build something.”
“You deserve someone who knows how you’re feeling, knows what your dreams are, what you care about, and who you really are,” said Amelia, her eyes misty, as if her heart hurt for Lulu.
“Maybe,” she said, thinking about it.
“And if that’s Chaz, you’ve got to wrap your mind around the idea that you have to take some risks,” Viv said. “Starting with telling him who you were on Halloween night.”
Crap. Back to that again. “He’ll be so mad. I’ve lied, and Chaz always hated liars.”
“If you tell him before he finds out some other way, at least he’ll appreciate you trying to do the right thing,” said Amelia.
“I’ll just look desperate, like I’m trying to ruin his new romance with what’s-her-face.”
“Do you know how far it’s gotten?” asked Amelia. “Are they, um...serious?”
“Has he made love to her?” asked Viv.
Lulu frowned at her friend. “Oh, very nice. You ask if he’s fucked me but if he’s made love to her?”
“I was trying to be ladylike and stuff.” Viv waved a hand toward Amelia. “I figure I’ve burned her ears enough for one night. But if you want to be blunt about it...has he banged her or not?”
“They’ve gone out the past two weekends.” She nibbled her lip. “What do you suppose that means?”
“He didn’t seem to be a slow mover on Halloween,” said Viv.
Lulu had been trying not to think about that. She glared at the brunette, who immediately back-pedaled. “Of course, that doesn’t mean he’s as attracted to her as he was to you. There were some serious pheromones that night. You two might as well have started dry-humping in the middle of your dance.”
“Thanks. I guess.”
“He really seemed crazy about you,” said Amelia, nodding loyally. “For all we know, he’s gone out with her a few times specifically because he’s trying to figure out why he’s not feeling that same immediate attraction he felt for you. I mean her. Oh, heck, I have no idea what I mean.”
“I understood you the first time,” Lulu said. “Do you really think it’s possible?”
“Definitely,” said Amelia.
Viv merely shrugged and sipped her margarita. “Anything’s possible.” But she didn’t sound very convinced.
Lulu wanted to believe Amelia was right, but Chaz hadn’t been a slow mover, at least not on Halloween. She’d primed him, gotten him totally worked up and ready, and some other woman had moved in for the kill, taking orgasms that should rightfully have been Lulu’s.
Orgasms, and now her holiday dinner, too.
“I still can’t believe he invited her for Thanksgiving.”
Lulu was kicking herself for having agreed to attend. She wouldn’t have if she’d known he was going to invite the redhead, who, upon hearing about the pot-luck holiday meal, had claimed she, too, was being “orphaned” by vacationing family members on Thanksgiving. It sounded to Lulu like the schemer had angled for an invitation the way a pro fisherman went after the biggest carp. And Chaz had acted like a well-hooked fish.
Since all their parents were going to be away, Chaz had decided to step up and host a holiday meal for all his friends who had no place else to go. That included her and Lawrence, Chaz and his sister Sarah, as well as Peggy, Marcia and Frankie.
And Heather. Blech. Stupid secret-identity-stealing Heather.
Good grief, she was the last person Lulu wanted to spend a holiday with. If it weren’t for the real possibility that World War Three would break out between Sarah and Lawrence, with pumpkin pies and green bean casserole flying, she’d blow off the whole meal.
But she couldn’t. She’d told Chaz she would come, and that she’d help him mediate between their younger siblings. She intended to keep her word, even if it meant smiling across the table at the woman who’d stepped in and taken advantage of the man Lulu had gotten all heated up on Halloween. She wouldn’t let on what she was really thinking if it killed her.
She kept reminding herself of that a few days later, on the actual holiday.
She’d arrived at Chaz’s place early, having promised to help him decipher the instructions on cooking a twenty-pound turkey. As they’d feared, there were innards to deal with, but fortunately they were bagged, and even more fortunately, Chaz was the one who dug them out.
If she hadn’t known that Heather would be arriving later in the day, along with the other, more welcome guests, she might have actually enjoyed the time she spent in the kitchen with Chaz. His house was roomy and nicely furnished, and his kitchen pretty well stocked for a bachelor. Lulu wasn’t much of a cook, but she’d paid attention when her mom cooked holiday meals and certainly felt capable of sugaring a few yams and mashing some potatoes. Anything she didn’t remember how to do, Chaz was quick to figure out, or look up on the internet.
They made a pretty good team, if she did say so herself.
Since that day a couple of weeks ago, when they’d kissed, he’d gone back to treating her like a friend from back home. There’d been no flirtation. He’d been just a little overprotective but hadn’t pried too much into her business. He sure hadn’t kissed her, though she had turned around once or twice and caught him looking at her with an intensity he usually kept hidden.
It was at those moments she was sure he hadn’t forgotten their kiss any more than she had.
They’d opened Pandora’s box. They both knew how good they could be together, and it was impossible to un-remember that delicious, intense passion. They might have shoved it back in the box and vowed to never take it out again, but that didn’t mean they didn’t both think about it and wonder. And wonder. And wonder.
Usually, though, they managed to behave like nothing had happened. They still walked together to the train every day, still socialized with others on weekends. Lawrence had come over a few times. He and Chaz had become close again, as they’d been when they were kids, when Chaz had served as a big brother figure, before Sarah had come between them.
She and Chaz had so much in common, so much shared history, and truly enjoyed each other’s company now. Today had been laid-back and easy, fun and a little silly. He’d teased her about taking as much potato as peel, she’d harassed him for not knowing you had to add sugar to fresh cranberries to make a sauce. They drank a little wine, occasionally exchanging a long, studied glance when their hands brushed over a towel or their legs made contact under the table. The rivalry and tension from their childhood was gone, the awareness warm and unthreatening, and they got along so well it was almost as though they were a couple.
At least, until the doorbell rang.
Heather, who’d called out, “Yoo-hoo,” as she passed by the kitchen window, was out front. Heather with the perfect smile and the cutest
little upturned nose matched by what Lulu suspected were surgically enhanced upturned tits. Heather who was occupying a place in Chaz’s life, in his memories, maybe even in his bed, that rightfully belonged to Lulu.
Chaz was basting the bird and asked her to get the door. Drying her hands on a dish towel, which she whipped over her shoulder, she strode out of the kitchen and yanked open the front door.
“Hello, Heather,” she said as she ushered the other woman in. “You’re early. Nobody else is here yet.”
Heather’s smile was small and tight. She’d obviously expected someone else to answer the door. Someone far more susceptible to red hair, a phony smile and equally phony tits.
“Hello, Lulu. I thought I’d come early in case Chaz needed any help.”
“I think we have everything under control.”
The redhead shoved a foil-wrapped, pie-shaped object into Lulu’s waiting hands. “Well, I’ll just cheer you two on then, shall I? But first I have to freshen up.”
“Whatever,” she mumbled, turning and heading for the kitchen. She didn’t wait to see if Heather followed or made herself at home, because, frankly, she didn’t want the proof that the other women had been here enough to know her way around.
The two women had met that day at the bar, when Chaz had first spotted Heather and made such a fool of himself trying to find out if she recognized him from a former meeting. Like from having given him a blowjob in an ATM vestibule.
The devious woman had played it smart. Being pursued by a gorgeous, successful, charming man, she hadn’t immediately denied being the Halloween witch he sought, nor had she confirmed it. She just acted mysterious and coy, and what American man didn’t go ape over those kinds of women? She’d played him better than Schaefer played his guitar, and Chaz was too fascinated to notice.
