by Adele Abbott
The next morning when I stepped out of my flat, Luther was in the corridor. I’d already made a fool of myself too many times with him, and I’d made a pact with myself not to do it again. From now on, I was going to play it cool.
“Morning,” I said, as cool as you like.
“Good morning, young lady. And how are you on this beautiful day?”
He put his hand on my shoulder; he’d never done that before. What was going on?
“It does my heart good to see someone as pretty as you at this time in the morning,” he said. “You’ve set me up for the day.”
Wow. I was speechless. Although Luther was always friendly, he was never flirtatious. But there was no other word for it; he was definitely flirting with me. Steady on, Jill. Don’t get carried away. Remember what you promised yourself; act cool.
“It’s Jill, isn’t it?” he said.
“Err, yeah.” Strange question.
“You must call me Lou.”
Lou? He wanted me to call him Lou? That must be the name he reserved for his closest friends.
“Okay, Lou.”
“I wonder, Jill,” he said, his hand still on my shoulder. “Would you be free for dinner tomorrow night?”
He’d asked me out for dinner once before, but when I’d arrived at the restaurant, there’d been a table full of guests. I wasn’t going through that ordeal again.
“When you say dinner, Lou, do you mean a party of people?”
“No. Just you and me. An intimate dinner for two.”
Intimate? That was more like it! “Just the two of us?”
“Would you like that?”
“Yes, that would be very nice.”
“Give me your number, and I’ll call you later today to arrange a time and a place. How’s that sound?”
“Fabulous.”
At long last, a date with Luther! And, this time there could be no mistake.
***
It was time for me to put Gertie straight. Or at least to try. I’d shrunk myself, and was hiding near to the school bus stop. When she showed up, still half asleep, she dropped her backpack onto the ground close to me. When I was sure no one was looking, I jumped onto it, and slipped inside through the narrow gap under the flap.
Oh wow! I hadn’t anticipated just how bad it would smell in there. Presumably, she used the same bag for her sweaty sports kit. It was pretty horrible, but there was no going back now. I lodged myself in a small area between her lunch box and pencil case, and then waited.
Suddenly I found myself falling backwards. Gertie had obviously picked up the bag and thrown it over her shoulder. I managed to scramble to my feet, and grabbed hold of the side of the lunch box to steady myself. When we got onto the school bus, she dropped the bag onto the floor with a thump. I was beginning to think this wasn’t such a good idea after all. The same thing happened again when she got off the bus. By the time we got into the classroom, I was feeling quite disorientated. Hopefully now she’d stay put for a while.
When I peeped under the flap, I could see that Gertie and her friends had congregated at one side of the classroom. A few minutes later, the door banged open, and in walked a middle-aged man with short brown hair, and a very serious expression.
“Right. To your desks, please,” the teacher said. “We don’t have time to waste; we have a lot of ground to cover this morning.”
Everyone took their seats.
“Today, we’re going to be talking about medieval Britain.”
A general groan went around the room. The teacher turned to face the blackboard, and as he began to write, I noticed something drifting across the room, very close to the ceiling. It was a rain cloud.
Moments later, rain began to pour down onto the teacher’s head. The poor man looked shocked, and rushed over to the door. Before he could turn around to see what had happened, Gertie had reversed the spell and the cloud had disappeared. The teacher looked thoroughly confused as he walked back to his desk. He stared up at the ceiling obviously trying to spot where the water leak had come from. All the class were in hysterics. They’d been so busy looking at the blackboard, they hadn’t seen the cloud either. I could hear Gertie laughing; she really was pushing her luck.
The lesson continued. The teacher read page after page to the kids; it was really very boring. I nearly fell asleep myself three times. When he eventually put the book down, and turned to write something on the blackboard, I sensed that Gertie was casting another spell. A moment later, his book disappeared. Again the kids had been so busy looking at the blackboard, I doubt any of them noticed. When the teacher looked around, he stared at the empty desk.
“Who’s taken my book?” he shouted. “Come on. Own up or I shall put you all in detention. Who did it?” As the teacher walked between the rows of desks, Gertie reversed the spell, and the book reappeared on the desk behind him.
All the other kids shouted, “It’s behind you, sir.”
The teacher turned around and looked in disbelief at the book.
“Someone here is messing around, and when I find out who it is, there’ll be trouble.”
I could feel Gertie’s desk shaking with her laughter. She really was going far beyond what was acceptable. It was time to put my plan into action.
I waited until the lesson had ended. Just as I’d hoped, Gertie made her way to the loo. Once I was sure she was alone in there, I put in a call to Daze. I’d warned her that I’d be in touch, so she’d deliberately kept her diary free. The only thing I hadn’t considered was whether my phone would work now it was shrunk. I crossed my fingers, and sure enough, it worked first time.
“Daze, it’s me,” I whispered.
“Are you ready for me?”
“Yeah. I assume you can track where I am?”
“Yeah, I’ve got you.”
“Okay, come on over now.”
“I’m on my way.”
Gertie had washed her hands, and was walking over to the drier when suddenly a thunderous noise filled the room. She looked around, terrified. There, in front of her, stood Daze.
“Are you Gertie Pride?” Daze said in her most serious voice.
“Ye-ye-yeah, who are you?”
“My name is Daze. I’m a Rogue Retriever.”
All the colour drained from Gertie’s face. “Oh?” Was all she could manage.
“I believe you’ve been abusing your magical powers in the human world.”
“I only played a couple of jokes on—on the teacher,” Gertie stammered.
“Magic is not a joking matter, young lady. You risk revealing yourself as a witch to the humans. That’s strictly prohibited. Don’t you know that?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t cut it.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I should take you back to Candlefield, and throw you in jail. What would your parents think about that?”
For a moment, I thought that Gertie was going to cry, but she pulled herself together.
“They wouldn’t be very pleased with me.”
“Well then, what should I do with you?”
“Will you give me another chance, please?”
“How do I know you won’t do the same thing again?”
“I won’t. I promise. I won’t do any more magic in Washbridge ever again.”
“You can do magic in Washbridge. No one has said you can’t. But you can’t do it so openly, and you can’t do it just for a laugh.”
“I won’t. Please don’t take me back. Please don’t put me in jail.”
“Okay, but this is your one and only warning. Got it?”
“Got it.”
“Okay.” And with that Daze disappeared.
At the first opportunity, I sneaked out of Gertie’s bag, made my way to the exit, and then reversed the ‘shrink’ spell.
Daze and I met up just outside the school grounds.
“How did I do?” she said. “Do you think she means it?”
“I thi
nk you convinced her. I don’t think we’ll have any more problems with Gertie Pride. I’m sure she’ll think twice before she does any magic from now on. Thanks, Daze.”
“Not a problem. I’d better get going. See you around.”
***
I couldn’t help myself. I just had to share my Luther news.
Ever A Wool Moment was absolutely buzzing, and when I caught up with Kathy, she looked extremely harassed.
“What do you want? I’m run off my feet.”
“I have some really exciting news, and I wanted to share it with you.”
“If you must.”
“You could at least pretend to be interested.”
“I am interested, what is it?”
“Luther has asked me out on a date.”
“You cannot be serious! How can you keep deluding yourself like this?”
“This time it’s different.”
“It was different the last time, and the time before that.”
“No, honestly. I bumped into him this morning, and the first thing he said was ‘Call me Lou’. He’s never said that before; that must mean we’ve moved to the next level.”
“The next level? You’re not even on level one yet.”
“Why would he say ‘Call me Lou’, if he didn’t think we had some kind of relationship?”
“So that’s it? You came all this way to tell me that Luther Stone said ‘Call me Lou’?”
“No, of course not. Do you think I’m stupid? Don’t answer that. He asked me to go out for dinner with him.”
“You mean like last time? You, him and a cast of thousands?”
“There weren’t thousands. There were ten at the most. Anyway, this time it’s different. He said it was an intimate dinner for the two of us. See? Intimate—that’s what he said.”
“Okay. If you say so.”
“It’s the real thing this time.”
“Does that mean you’ll be buying yet another new dress?”
“I’m sure I can find something in my wardrobe.”
“Look, I’d better get back to work. You won’t forget you’re taking Mikey to Coffee Triangle later, will you?”
“Don’t worry. It’s all in hand.”
As I left the shop, I realised Kathy was right. I couldn’t possibly go on my first ‘official’ date with Luther, sorry, I mean Lou, wearing something he’d seen before. I’d have to find the funds from somewhere to get a new outfit.
Chapter 8
Mrs V was alone behind the desk.
“Where’s Mrs D?”
“My arm is much better now. I don’t need D to act as my second arm anymore.”
“That’s good. Anything to report?”
“No, nothing. Except that I think there’s something wrong with the heating.”
“What’s the problem?” It felt warm enough to me.
“It’s okay out here, but when I went in to your office to feed the stupid cat, it was absolutely freezing in there. Has your radiator stopped working or something?”
“Not that I’m aware of.”
“You’d better take a look at it. You don’t want to catch a chill at your age.”
My age? Cheek!
I went through to my office, but didn’t notice any change of temperature at all. Winky was staring through the window, and totally ignored me as usual. I assumed he must be looking for Bella. Seeing him sitting there, reminded me that he hadn’t used his little flags for a while. I kind of missed the feline semaphore.
“Jill.” My mother suddenly appeared behind me.
“Hi, Mum. How are things in Ghost Town?”
“Fine, thanks. I’ve come to ask you a favour.”
“Does it involve custard creams?”
“No, I’ve reached an agreement with Alberto. He understands that custard creams are my one vice, and so he’s prepared to let me have them. He said if that was the only bad habit I had, then he could live with it. Which I think is very fair, don’t you?”
“I do think it’s fair, and if it means you don’t eat my custard creams, then I’m all for it.”
“I came to see you because there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
“Who’s that?”
I’d no sooner asked than another ghost appeared next to my mother. No wonder Mrs V had noticed a chill in my office.
“Jill, this is Priscilla.”
“Nice to meet you, Priscilla.”
“You too, Jill, your mother speaks very highly of you.”
“How come I can see Priscilla?” I asked my mother.
“I thought it would help if she attached herself to you temporarily while we explained what it is she’s after. It’s much easier than me having to act as an intermediary.”
“That makes sense. How exactly can I help you, Priscilla?”
“It’s a little awkward.” She looked embarrassed.
“Go on, Priscilla,” my mother encouraged. “Spit it out. I’m sure Jill will be able to help.”
“The thing is.” Priscilla was avoiding eye contact. “There’s someone—err”
“Oh dear, this could take all day,” my mother said, impatiently. “There’s a gentleman that Priscilla is quite attracted to.”
“You mean a ghost?”
“Of course. Unfortunately, Priscilla’s a little shy, and can’t bring herself to speak to him.”
“Okay, but I still don’t see where I come in."
“You know the gentleman in question.”
“I do?”
“Yes. It’s someone who’s only recently passed.”
Then I realised who she was talking about. “You mean the colonel?”
Priscilla looked even more embarrassed.
“Yes, dear,” my mother said. “Priscilla has got her eyes and her heart set on the colonel, but she’s simply too shy to speak to him. I told her that you and the colonel had been good friends when he was alive.”
“That’s true.”
“And so, we wondered if you might play Cupid?”
“I’d be happy to. I haven’t seen him for a while, but the next time he pops in, I’ll put in a word for you, Priscilla.”
“Thank you, Jill.” She was all smiles and giggles now.
“I can’t promise anything, though.”
“I understand, but if you’d just have a word with him, I’d be eternally grateful.”
“Right then.” My mother took Priscilla’s hand. “We’d better get back to Ghost Town.” And with that, the two of them disappeared.
So now I was moonlighting as a matchmaker for ghosts.
***
Kathy’s problem was that she didn’t know how to handle kids. Although I didn’t have any of my own, I still felt I had the edge when it came to understanding them. Kathy’s strategy was to shout at them. Shouting at Mikey, and telling him not to play his drum hadn’t worked, but I had a carefully formulated plan which was guaranteed to get results. Mikey and I were on our way to Coffee Triangle. This was my genius, fool-proof plan to wean him off the drums. I was absolutely convinced that after he’d spent an hour or so in Coffee Triangle on drum day, he would never want to see another drum for the rest of his life.
Kathy had promised to make me a slap-up meal when we got back, by way of thanks.
Mikey was in the passenger seat—banging his stupid drum.
“Mikey!”
“Yes, Auntie Jill?”
“Do you think you could hold off on the drum for a while?”
“Don’t you like it?”
“It’s very good, but I’ve got a bit of a headache.”
“The drum is very good for getting rid of headaches.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Mum’s always saying so.”
“Are you sure she didn’t say it gave her a headache?”
“I don’t think so.”
Bang, crash, thud, bang, crash, thud. It wasn’t as if he had any sense of timing or rhythm; he just hit the thing randomly as hard as he could.
By the time we arrived in town, my eardrums were ringing.
“Where is the coffee shop, Auntie Jill?”
“It’s just around the corner, but you won’t be able to take your drum in with you.”
“Why not?”
“Those are the rules, I’m afraid. They have their own drums, and you have to use those.”
“Okay, I guess.”
“Give me yours and I’ll put it in the boot.”
“Are you sure it’ll be safe in there?”
“Pretty sure. I don’t think there are many toy drum thieves wandering the streets of Washbridge.”
“It’s not a toy.”
“Sorry. I’ll put it in the boot anyway. It’ll be perfectly safe in there.”
We made our way down the street towards Coffee Triangle. When we were still fifty yards away, we could hear the banging and thudding. It was a wonder the council hadn’t closed them down. It wasn’t so bad on triangle or tambourine day, but on gong day, and particularly drum day, the noise was unbearable.
“I can hear them, Auntie Jill,” Mikey said, getting more and more excited.
“It’s horribly noisy isn’t it, Mikey?”
“It sounds great!”
That wasn’t the reaction I’d been hoping for. Still, once we were inside and he was actually exposed to that awful noise, he’d soon change his mind.
The place was as busy as ever; people seemed to like drum day. I guess a lot of people like to de-stress by banging a drum. Luckily, we managed to find a seat in a corner.
“Can I have a drum, Auntie Jill?”
“I’ll ask at the counter. You stay there while I go and get some drinks, and see about getting you a drum.”
Throughout the shop, the sound of the drumming was just unbelievable. My head was thumping. I glanced back at Mikey; surely it must be getting to him by now. But far from it. He was drumming on the table top—smiling and laughing—he seemed to be really enjoying himself. That wouldn’t last for long. The noise would soon wear him down.
The poor man behind the counter looked traumatised.
“Can I have a medium, skinny latte, and a small Coke, please?”
He shook his head, and pointed to his ears. Then I realised he was wearing earplugs. Not a great idea for someone working behind a counter, but perhaps understandable given the circumstances. He took out a notepad and pen from his pocket, and put them on the counter in front of me. I scribbled my order; he nodded, and went to get our drinks.
