by J B Heller
Copyright © 2017 by JB Heller
All rights reserved.
Published by- JB Heller
[email protected]
Cover Design by- Melissa at MGCoverDesign
Editing by- Editing by Elizabeth
Formatted by – Integrity Formatting
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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This one goes out to all the people afraid to be themselves.
Life is much more satisfying when you figuratively flip everyone the bird
and just be your awesome self.
Trust me.
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Epilogue
A Note from the Author
About the Author
Also by J.B. Heller
I yawn and stretch as I glance over at my collection of vintage cameras, and a rush of excitement fills my veins. Sliding out of bed, I feel around for my glasses then make my way into my small bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair before getting ready for class.
We’re getting our final assignments for the newspaper this morning, and I’m eager to know what mine is. I may have joined the paper for Kass, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t enjoy it.
Swinging my closet doors wide, I look inside and try to decide on an outfit that goes with my mood today. I’m feeling pretty pumped, so I grab my favourite black tutu, a plain white V-neck T, and tap my chin as I survey my shoe rack for the right pair of shoes . . . Then Bam, my black Docs with purple laces.
Once I’m dressed, I inspect my appearance in the full-length mirror behind my door. I’ve done my long brown hair in a braid that starts at my right temple and curls around my head ending below my left ear to hang over my shoulder. The thick black frames of my glasses actually complement my outfit, so I forgo my contacts today.
Grabbing my satchel from my desk chair, I head downstairs to scarf down some breakfast before I go pick up Kassidy. As I enter the kitchen, my mother eyes my outfit, then sighs heavily. I raise a brow, “Yes, Ma?”
She tries to hide her frown, but she’s not quick enough and I see it. “Nothing, what would you like for breakfast?” she asks in an overly chipper tone, trying to cover her disapproval.
“Ma, I can make my own breakfast. What’s with the frown?”
Chewing her lip for a second, she huffs then answers, “Nothing really, I mean, I just,” she blows her fringe out of her eyes, “I don’t understand your clothing choices, Chance. You’re a very beautiful young woman, but the way you dress, it’s so,” she pauses, searching for the right word, “Unusual.”
I shake my head and chuckle, she’s never been a fan of my wardrobe, not since the day I started dressing myself. Especially since my mother is a classic beauty who channels Audrey Hepburn in the style and looks departments.
“Ma, if I looked more like you, I would totally rock that iconic vintage 60’s goddess style you’ve got going on. But, unfortunately for you, I take after Papa and Hux in the looks division. So, this is how I roll.” I smile and blow her a kiss as I grab an apple out of the fruit basket on the kitchen counter. “See you later,” I call out behind me, swinging my keys around my finger as I go.
Sliding into the driver’s seat of my VW Bug, I flick Kass a text letting him know I’m on my way.
Coming at you.
Then I back out of the driveway, cranking the music as I go.
Kass is only two years younger than me, it’s really not that weird that we’re so close. He’s been my best friend and confidant for as long as I can remember. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The fact that he’s my nephew rarely comes up anymore.
I honk my horn twice when I pull up in front of my big brother’s house to let Kass know I’m here. A minute later, Kass strolls out the front door with his dad, my brother Hux, on his heels.
“Ladies,” I drawl with a grin on my face and turn down my tunes as they approach my car side by side.
Kass rolls his eyes, and Hux cocks a brow, “Really? That’s the best you’ve got?” he says, shaking his head in disappointment.
I shrug, “I wasn’t really trying, I’m sure I could come up with something better if I was.”
Hux rolls his eyes at me, but he’s smiling, “Sure you could,” he braces his arms on the roof of my car as he leans down to talk through my window, “So, I’ve been thinking,”
“Uh-oh,” I cut him off, “That could be dangerous.” I grin.
He scoffs, “Shut up and listen, smartarse. If you’re serious about pursuing your photography, I thought you might want to come work with me after graduation.”
My jaw drops, “Are you serious?” Hux is the one who gave me my first camera, I’ve been addicted ever since. It’s his influence that first got me looking outside the box when it comes to my own style. I can only imagine how amazing it would be to work by his side full time.
Hux looks me in the eye, no trace of humour in his features, “Only if you’re sure this is the career you want to pursue. This is a huge opportunity, and attaching your name to mine, it’s going to give you a lot of attention straight up. So, if you’re not absolutely certain that photography is your future, I’d rather give the opportunity to someone else.”
I can’t believe he even has to say that, “You know how I feel, this is what I want, Hux.” My heart is pounding so hard, to be mentored by my big brother would be incredible.
The pride that shines in his eyes as he looks down at me fills me with confidence, this is the only path for me, I know it, and so does he. He nods, then slaps his palms against the roof of my car twice, “Alright then, you better get going or you two will be late.” Then he steps back and waves, as we pull away from the curb.
Glancing at Kass in my passenger seat, I can’t wipe the smile off my face, “Did you know he was going to do that?”
He shrugs his broad shoulders, “Maybe,” he says without looking in my direction. He’s flicking through his newspaper notebook. Kass has more notebooks than I have cameras. And that’s saying something.
I shove his shoulder, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Finally, he lifts his gaze to me, “He asked if I thought you’d be interested, I said something along the lines of, ‘She’ll be all over it like Ma on a pint of ice-cream.’”
“Good analogy,” I say, laughing. Nobody loves ice-cream like El.
“I thought so,” Kass murmurs as he turns his attention back to his notebook. He’s a journalism major and working as a reporter at ou
r collage newspaper. He writes the articles and I take the pictures.
I’m studying business, the end game being that it will help me set up my own successful gallery one day. I don’t want to depend on my brother giving me a job, that’s not how I roll. I want to be capable of doing it on my own if I need to.
Photography, to me, is like being given the opportunity to see the world with a whole new perspective. Like when you have a problem and you ask a friend for their opinion, because sometimes you need an outside view to get a better handle on the situation. I want to show others how I see life through my lens.
I’m so sick of being torn in two different directions.
If I don’t stand up for what I want, what I need, now, will I ever?
“Are you listening to me, Carter?” My father’s angry voice grates against my nerves.
I nod, “Yes, sir,” I reply, without making eye contact.
“This is what you’re good at, no, you’re great Carter, a natural. I don’t understand why you’re being like this. Ungrateful, that’s what you are, an ungrateful little shit. You don’t appreciate your god given gifts. How many teams are you going to blow off before you realise this is the only future for you?” His eyes narrow and his hands dig into his hips, letting me know that my resistance better be over.
But I can’t let it go, I don’t want to play football forever. Yeah, I like it, but it doesn’t satisfy me the way fighting does. My blood doesn’t heat with exhilaration when I’m on the field. I need to fight. I’m actually afraid of who I’ll become if I don’t. It releases the tension, the repressed anger and resentment constantly building inside of me like a force of darkness, readying to consume me in a way that I can’t explain. But I need it. I need to get it out of me before it takes over.
Right as I’m about to lay it out for my father, Bella walks into the kitchen, her huge beaming smile filling me with warmth. Meeting my father’s eyes briefly, I shake my head, silently telling him this isn’t over, but I won’t get into it with Bells in the room. His eyes narrow further, if that’s even possible, then he stalks out of the kitchen, down the hall, and slams his office door behind him.
I turn to my sister and paste on a fake smile, “Hey beautiful, you sleep good?” I ask as she steps into my arms, wrapping hers around my waist.
She nods, “I had a dream about unicorns, it was amazing.”
Chuckling, I squeeze her quickly before releasing her, “Pink ones?”
“Did you read my mind?” she asks, looking at me with wonder in her big brown eyes.
I make my expression serious as I say, “I only use my mind reading powers when I have to. But you don’t keep secrets from me, so I don’t need to.”
She nods at me, “I wish I could read minds,” she says wistfully before looking into my eyes, “Why are you sad?”
She doesn’t need to be able to read minds, she already sees too much. I can never hide anything from her, people think she’s stupid, but they have no idea. She’s brilliant, and so perceptive. I wish I could shield her from all the bad shit in the world, she feels everything a thousand times more deeply than anyone else. “I’m okay, don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Okay?”
Her face scrunches in a frown, “I don’t like it when you’re sad. It makes me sad.”
“I know, that’s why I don’t want you to worry about it. You make me happy, Bells,” I say, dropping a kiss on her forehead, “I like your dress,” I tell her, as I start making her a bowl of Fruity Puffs.
“I’m a princess today,” she says, then does a twirl, her skirts floating out around her.
Shaking my head, I tell her, “You’re a princess every day,” then slide her bowl of cereal across the bench to her. “You need anything before I go?” I ask her.
She carefully scoops a spoon full of Fruity Puffs and raises it to her mouth, “I’m okay. Have a good day,” she says, then keeps eating her breakfast.
“Alright, I’m out. I’ll see you this afternoon. Behave,” I say with a wink, then grab my keys off the bench and head out to my car, the sound of Bella’s giggles fading behind me.
I’ve got an early practice this morning that I’d really like to blow off, but I don’t need another reason to argue with my father today.
One day, my future will be my own, but today is not that day.
I sit here staring at Cole as if he’s grown a second head, “You want me to, what?”
He rolls his eyes at me like I’m being dramatic. I assure you, I am not. “Chance, this is part of being the paper’s photographer. I don’t see the problem. You’ve taken pics at the games before.”
I raise a brow, “Do I look like the kind of girl who mingles with the football jocks? Filling in and snapping a couple of images at a random game here and there does not make me a good candidate for this,” I say, motioning to myself with my hand as I speak.
Cole drops his head and starts rubbing his temples, “You don’t have to be friends with him, Chance, you just have to take pictures.”
I’m not trying to be difficult, I swear I’m not. But seriously, anyone else would be a better choice for this project “What makes you think he will give me the time of day? They’re all A grade arseholes with superiority sticks shoved up their arses. Can’t Kass do this? Anyone can point a camera and click the button. Even Kass.”
He smirks then covers his mouth with his hand attempting to hide his amusement, and I glare at him. Cole really isn’t that bad, he’s the Editor-in-Chief and he reminds me of that guy from Pretty Little Liars. The teacher who hooks up with that chick, and she turns out to be his student, yeah, that’s who Cole looks like.
Finally, he loses it and starts outright laughing in my face. I wait with my hands on my hips, for him to calm himself, “Are you done?” I ask with a raised brow.
He’s hunched at the waist, holding onto his knees for support. It’s really not that funny, I don’t see why he’s getting such a kick out of this. “I’m sorry,” he pants, “It’s just,” he shakes his head, “The look on your face, it’s priceless.”
I frown, “Glad I could amuse you, but seriously, can’t someone else do this?”
The smile on his face makes a dimple on his left cheek pop, it’s kinda cute, but I’m mad at him, so no swooning, I remind myself, and make sure I’m still glaring at him.
“No way. This is all yours, Chance. Show me what you got,” he says, grinning.
I huff, knowing I’m not going to be able to get out of this. “I don’t like you right now, just so you know.”
His grin widens, “I know.”
I walk out of his office without waiting to be dismissed.
Kass is waiting in the hall for me when I exit. “So, what’s your assignment?”
“Football Captain,” I practically sneer.
Laughter erupts from beside me and I ignore him, just like I wish I could ignore this assignment.
Kass is still chucking beside me as we exit the building, which just so happens to be across from the campus field house. Kass stops abruptly, his arm flying out across my chest, stopping me too. “Perfect, look who’s walking into the locker room,” he says with a huge smile on his face. “If I were you I’d want to get it over with as quickly as possible, now’s your chance, Chance.” His eyes shine with mischief and amusement.
“You think I won’t?” I challenge.
He looks down at me with a look that says what he’s thinking before he even says the words, “I know you won’t.”
“Right then, looks like I’m going to pop my locker room cherry,” I tell him, as I push his arm away from my body and storm across the distance between the buildings, toward the one door in this place I was sure I would never go through.
My nose wrinkles as I push the door open. The smell of multiple deodorants mingling together is so overpowering, the pressure builds in my nose until it finally unleashes in a succession of sneezes. Five in a row, to be exact. My nose is faulty, and incapable of performing one single solo s
neeze.
When I open my scrunched eyes and look up, I realise I’ve drawn the attention of several nearly naked guys, as well as some who are most definitely completely naked. Some of them cover their junk as horrified expressions fill their faces, while others smirk and position themselves in what I assume they think is a sexy stance.
I roll my eyes at the cocky pricks and wave, “Hi,” I say.
Some dude I recognise from one of my classes, Mase I think his name is, sizes me up, then grins, “I know you, you’re the weird camera chick,” he says.
I raise a brow, “I prefer quirky.”
His grin morphs into a smile, “Alright, I can roll with that. You want to take a picture of me naked, quirky camera chick? Cause I can take these off,” he says, as he begins lowering the band of his boxer briefs.
My brows jump to my hairline, “I’m going to say a solid no, it’s not really my style, but thanks for the offer.” Scanning the room, I look for Carter, the captain, but come up empty. Shifting my focus back to the dude in front of me, I ask, “Hey, is Carter in here?”
He nods, a huge grin spreading over his face, “Yeah, back here, come on,” he turns and starts making his way through the lockers to the back of the room, where steam billows up to the ceiling.
I follow until he stops and turns abruptly making me run into him, “Crap, sorry.” My hands are plastered to his pecs and I yank them away, horrified that I just felt up this random guy.
“No worries, gorgeous, you can run those little hands over me anytime,” he says with a wink.
I cringe, “I’ll pass, and my name’s Chance, not gorgeous.”
He lifts one muscular shoulder in a shrug, “Carter’s around the corner.”
“Thanks,” I mumble as I turn the corner. “Holy shit,” I breathe, frozen in place, staring at the most spectacular arse I’ve ever seen. And I’m not even exaggerating.
Carter turns his head, looking over his shoulder as water cascades over his mouth-watering body from the doorless shower cubical he’s standing in, and I lick my lips. His big hands are pushed up against the brick wall in front of him, then he cocks a brow at me, and waits for me to say something.
