by Ciar Cullen
“Morning,” Lillian whispered, and wiped dark-circled eyes.
“Sleep more, Lil. You’ll need a month of sleep to make up for yesterday.”
“No, I’ve much to do. I must see how Jack is and then introduce him to the boys. And you know I must face Arthur. Johnnie will come knocking at my door, no doubt.…”
She rose and pulled on her robe. George watched her, leaning on his elbow. She looked over her shoulder at him and sent a glance of apology as she opened her messenger bag and took a sip of medicine.
“We must talk, love.”
“I will give it up, George. Just not today. Give me a day or two.”
He wondered how soon it could be. The longer he let her habit go, the harder it would be for her to break. But he could give her a few more days, certainly. They’d faced worse.
“I want only to talk about yesterday.”
Her shoulders dropped, and he wondered for a moment if her habit of hiding great secrets wasn’t more tolerable than this never-ending parade of woes. But the truth was something that had to be faced and he said, “I’ve never heard you mention your father, of wanting to find him. But learn about him you did.”
“As a child, I believed Addie’s story of him going down on a ship. At least since adulthood, I wondered if he was more than a cad who either attacked or seduced my mother. I suppose I imagined she might have given up a child much as I did, against her will. That was my hope.”
“But to learn he was the famously evil Henry Holmes… Not quite an ordinary cad.”
“Did you believe her? I am not certain she spoke the truth. Her flair for the dramatic— Are you afraid for me, George? That I carry his insanity? Or if I was the product of a mortal and a vampire…then I am doubly cursed, am I not?”
“No, I am not afraid. I know you, Lil, you are not insane. I simply wanted to make certain you understood everything Marie—”
“Never use that name again!”
“Everything she said.”
Lillian sat on the bed and took his hand. “Would you rob me of this most happy day, George? I have my son. What came before…it is horrific beyond anything I could have dreamt up in my fantasies. Worse than anything Mr. Doyle or Mr. Stoker could have written. But this is my story, and I survived it all. I have two choices, do I not? Be a slave to my parents and risk never living, or something else. Mustn’t I put aside the past now that Jack is in my care?”
George nodded, surprised that she was so matter of fact, hoping that he was indeed covering already trodden ground. “I simply do not want these ghosts to haunt you forever. I think it sometimes best to exorcise them, lest they come calling later on.”
“But you believe it to be my choice—to carry on or to be ruled by the past.” The statement was in some part a question. A hope.
“My dear Lillian,” he agreed, “I cannot imagine that I could truly persuade you to do anything you do not want, even if I desired it. It is certainly your choice. And…there is something else.”
“My medicine.”
“No, please stop worrying about that now. We will come to that in due course. It is the letter I wrote to you. Why didn’t you follow my instructions?”
“Did you really expect us to? You knew we would follow you. Or at least hoped. Phillip said that. Is that all? It is not inhuman to want companionship at dark times, George. Perhaps that is a good thing, to maintain some element of your humanity.” She gave him a small smile. “And yet, you set out to tackle the problem on your own. You do not control as much as you believe, George. You did not make the choice for Phillip and I, and neither did your maker’s bond. So, is that all?”
“But it is a horror! You could have been killed, both of you!”
“But we weren’t, and you aren’t listening. We chose to come. You did not command us. The very opposite, in fact! You may have hoped, imagined, but you did nothing to force the issue. George, now you are searching for ways to make yourself a devil.” She shook her head and patted him on the wrist. “No worries. Phillip and I will not let your heroics go to your head. Certainly Kitty will always cut you down to size. I do wish we could speak to Chauncey. He is a hero as well.”
“I would like the same. I imagine he is long gone from our reach.”
“Now, will you help me with more important matters? We have a very busy few days ahead of us.”
“Might we have a night alone soon?” he asked. Filled with a desperate love for her, he brushed Lil’s hair away from her face. She captured his hand and kissed it.
“I rather thought the idea was that they were all to be spent in one another’s company. I’m not well versed in such things…”
He didn’t answer, overcome with a need to make things right for Lil. For himself.
“Lil, you’re not a very good vampire. It seems Vasil is real, and you do go about chatting our secrets for all the world to hear.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You have to do better. I know this has been unthinkably difficult, but you must try—very hard—to do better. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I will try. Goodness, George!”
Is she ready? Am I ready? He wondered in silence for a few moments.
“Because,” he continued, “I will no longer be able to stop you from making mistakes. God knows I’ve not done well so far.” George closed his eyes and held his breath. “It is too soon, I’m sure it’s too soon. But I must do this. It’s a terrible burden. Please don’t leave me, Lil.”
“What?” She looked confused. “What are you talking about?”
He pulled her close. “I release you.”
She lost strength and clung to him. “No, please! What have you done?”
“Did you not want your freedom? It cannot be undone.”
“Oh, you stupid man!” She pounded him on the chest. “Why did you do that, George? I am not ready to do this vampiring alone! Are you leaving me?”
He shook his head. “Only if you wish it. In fact, I’d rather marry you. But I needed to know…” He shook his head again.
Lillian sighed. “Oh. I wondered, too. But when I saw you in Marie’s clutches, I knew. I didn’t come to rescue my maker. I came to rescue my George.”
“Then marry me,” he said.
“I’ll consider it. Oh, look at you! You cannot stand a taste of your own medicine. I will marry you, George.” She pressed her lips to his. “I love you so much.”
“And I love you.”
“It is not so different from mortal love, is it?” she mused. “Not at all.”
“Not at all,” he agreed. Brushing a strand of hair away from her face he said, “You look as though you are ready to drop. I was going to say that you’ve had quite a week, but it was not much more demanding than any since I met you, I suppose.”
So much, though, since he first met her. The revelations of the Jackal and Dr. Schneider, of the birth of her child, and that kidnapping to the asylum. Her becoming a vampire. Aileen’s murder. Her parentage, the destruction of her mother, the rescue of her son, the care of Mr. Doyle and a house full of children… And, he gulped down a bit of worry, there was a matter left undiscussed. It seemed nothing in some ways, and yet knowing Lillian as he did, he wanted nothing unsaid between them.
She had lain back on the bed. He lay beside her and kissed her knuckles. “Love, does it bother you that I… How can I put this?”
“What?”
“That I lay with your mother?” George closed his eyes, wondering if Marie could ruin his happiness from the grave. “It is a very distasteful situation to you, I can imagine, even if it happened centuries ago and I was a different person then. Does it change everything?”
“Did you love her?”
George snorted. “I don’t know whether I am happy or ashamed to say that I did not at all love her. I could barely stand to be in her company, except for those brief interludes where… She exaggerated, you know.” He could not ever finish that sentence. He had indeed been a different person then.
A person who would seduce his brother’s wife and revel in the nights they shared, nights bent on physical pleasure alone. He wondered at times that he had not ended up similarly hideous on the outside as Marie. There but for the grace of Lil went he.
Lillian shrugged. “You were a different person then,” she repeated. Then she gave a quiet laugh and tried to make light. “And, George, you did not know then what this year would bring. Look at what my letter to a favored author did! Had I known, would I have done things differently? Perhaps. Must I turn my back on everything I have because of it?”
George stared into her eyes. “I dearly hope not.”
“Then put all aside and kiss me.”
He pressed his lips to hers and ran fingers through her silky hair. “I would lose myself in you, Lil. Every day and night, forever. Forever.”
She didn’t reply but pulled at his shirt, nibbling every inch of him as she stripped him bare. He shuddered at her caresses and cried out as she punctured his neck and licked the burning flesh there. She grew stronger from his blood and showered him with kisses, running her hands up and down his body.
He pushed her onto her back and pulled the layers of nightclothes from her, frantic to have her soft flesh against his. “Tell me…tell me anything, Lil,” he said, desperate to hear her voice. “Talk to me.”
“Give me everything, George. I would have another taste of you as you enter me. I am starving.”
“Not yet, greedy one,” he said with a laugh. He nibbled at her ear and neck, and suckled at her breasts, making her arch and cry out. He covered her mouth then, lest she wake the house, and his excitement grew.
With a strong grip to keep her silent, he worked his mouth down her belly until he heard the loud throb of her pulse at the top of her thigh. He licked the juncture and looked into her eyes, then pierced the skin and sucked at the blood seeping out. He licked at her wound then pulled himself away, reminding himself that too much would send them down a dangerous path, but it took great restraint.
Lillian reached for him and pulled him on top of her, whispering his name and begging for release. He kissed her as he freed his sex and pushed himself inside her body, let her envelop him in tight warmth. He pinned her hands down and told her to be quiet as he pressed deeply in and out. She buried her face in his shoulder, but her low muffled moans brought more flame to his ardor and he slammed into her, harder and harder, wondering if he could somehow claim her body and soul. For she had claimed his.
When he poured into her, he gasped her name. She arched up and dug her nails into his back, calling to God and clenching tightly around him. They fell into an embrace, and he kissed her gently one last time.
“Sweet one, how do you feel?”
“Ah, I would feel this way every hour of every day.”
“What a splendid plan.”
His beloved was a silent a moment before saying, “I’ve been thinking, George.”
He smirked. “That sounds dangerous. Do tell.”
“I’d rather like to be married sooner rather than later. Kitty suggested we should choose a date for our wedding and—”
George sniffed out a laugh. “Yes, I remember. Since when did you rely on Kitty for your direction, though? I thought that was Bess’s position.”
“Bess would agree.” Her face serious, Lillian seemed to steel herself. “Sooner rather than later. Does that frighten you?”
“The prospect of those two women instructing me on wedding plans? That does instill a bit of abject terror, yes.”
“I mean it, George! Are you ready? What with Jack and the state of this house…” She shook her head. “I would not blame you for changing your mind.”
“Nonsense, of course you would blame me. Your left brow just arched. And of course you would have every right to blame me, as I just proposed!” He shook his head and laughed again. “Lil, last night I wasn’t sure we were going to survive to be able to have this conversation. I would marry you today if you were willing to go to the courthouse, but I suspect you desire something slightly more elaborate.” He pulled her into a tight embrace to remind her of all she meant to him, but a sudden stray thought had him making a small noise of concern.
“What?”
George sat up and tapped his finger against his chin. “I wonder what Jack will think about his parents getting married. How will we explain that?”
Lillian shook her head. “Darling, he knows we’re vampires and doesn’t seem to mind. He hasn’t had the most normal upbringing. This will only be a good thing in his eyes, I believe. I’d be surprised if it were otherwise.”
George watched as she rose, cleaned up and bustled about the room, getting ready to greet her new son and tackle the list of things she must accomplish. He watched her and suddenly realized he hadn’t taken his own advice. He hadn’t buried any ghosts or forgiven himself for his sins. Not really. But it was time. While he wasn’t sure he deserved this happiness, he did know that Lillian and Jack needed him, and it would serve everyone better if he were to say “fuck it all” and get to work.
He jumped out of bed to get dressed, saying, “I’m going to check on Doyle. Come by as soon as you can. And I’m holding you to our night together. Tonight.”
“George, one more thing,” Lillian said. “The Learned Order…”
“Indeed. You did say you were starving. We must eat tonight before our rendezvous, is that not so?”
Lillian’s face showed hunger, anger…and then the emotions lessened. “It would be good to know which of them is culpable first. Perhaps Arthur can enlighten us more on that subject.”
“He’ll likely be ready for a feast of his own,” George said. Then, “Hurry. You really must visit your newborn. It’s very bad form to leave them waiting.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Johnnie Moran expresses doubts.
Lillian stared at her empty bed and choked back a sob. She should have guarded Jack all night. What kind of mother ignored her child to lie with her lover? Brought home by vampires? Of course he would be scared and have taken the first moment to escape. They’d formed no bond; she couldn’t blame him!
She ran down the stairs, hoping to catch George, but was drawn to a racket in the kitchen. Mr. Lincoln was howling and barking. She pushed open the door to see four boys—Jack included—Cook, and Mr. Lincoln all eating a mountain of bacon, biscuits, and eggs.
“Did not!” her son argued with Darby. “You never ran that fast!”
“Did too! All the way to the park and back. I has witnesses.”
“Have witnesses, Darby.” Lillian rubbed at her temples, wondering if she were imagining this. Sally, Sarah— Damnation! What was Cook’s name? She was the sister of the Eisner woman who’d helped at Aileen’s funeral.
The woman stood and tried to calm the boys but slid on some eggs Mr. Lincoln had drooled onto the floor.
“Miss Holmes, a suggestion?”
“Anything!”
“A maid and a nanny. Don’t mean to be overstepping, mind you. Mrs. Eisner said that you seemed a bit… Well, she said you could use help.”
“No, please tell me,” Lillian said. “I’m not used to such things. Addie and Thomas…they are in Chicago, you see, and I don’t know when they’ll return.”
“I know sisters searching for a post….”
“Yes, right away. Could they share a room? I am running out of rooms.”
Cook straightened and grinned widely. “I will speak with them today. When could you meet?”
“If they come with your recommendation they may start the moment they arrive. You know the room that belonged to Mrs. Adencourt? It is now theirs. But they will have to ready it themselves. I think there are linens and such somewhere…”
“There, there, don’t be troubled about those things. First things first. We three will make a list of what’s needed and present it to you. The boys—especially Jack—could use some new clothes as well. If you like.” Cook seemed a bit tentative.
“Yes!” Lillia
n said. “Thank you, thank you! And Bess and Kitty will help with the clothes. They love such things. Oh, Lord, I must speak with Bess. She will be so worried!”
“And there is the gardening and such,” Cook piped up. “You don’t have a man to do the garden and heavy work?”
“Can you do that too?”
Sally—yes, it was Sally—rubbed her hands on her apron and laughed. “Let me sit with the Misses Dawson and see what is what. At least the cold weather is here and the weeds will stop growing. Oh, miss, you do have coal coming, don’t you? Temperatures will be dropping very soon!”
Lillian groaned and shrugged. “Maybe Thomas arranged for that ahead of time. I’m not sure.”
“All right, then. We still have time. I’ll see to it all.”
“Thank you so very much, Sally. I believe there are accounts at Eisner’s Grocers and the general store across the street.”
Sally laughed again. “Yes, I believe so, as I am Jacob Eisner’s sister, remember?”
“Of course you are.” God, when did I become so unreliable and forgetful? I do need so much help! And, although a shot of anxiety filled her at the thought, she knew that it would be best to always be clearheaded. Would giving up her medicine be as bad as the last time? Would she need help again? Surely George would help her. But Jack, he must not know, must not see…
Her son swung his feet from the high stool at the table and stared at her. He waved a bit shyly, and Lillian felt her legs grow weak. It was something akin to falling in love, this tug at her heart of maternal joy. How many such moments had she missed? No, do not go back. There is too much to be done.
“Boys, I have pennies for you!” she called. The Musketeers lined up in front of her, wiggling in excitement, but Jack just watched. “Do you remember the rules?”
“Don’t go far,” Darby said and saluted.
“Be careful,” Paddy added and saluted.
“Mr. Lincoln is to go outside again?” Billy asked.
Lillian laughed. “I give up. Mr. Lincoln may always come inside, as long as he is not muddy. You also must bathe him in the yard, but he may sleep in your room. Is that all right, Sally?”
