Toby ended up coming to the diner a lot and always alone until summer hit. He had showed me how to text, to which believe it or not, was free. Not sure how that actually worked on my pay as you go phone. But I guess since it was a disability government issued phone, that could have had something to do with it. My mom is so not disabled, just a stupid drunk, but somehow she convinced the system she was crazy. Well actually, she might be now that I think about it. She ended up with this phone, which I keep on me because Thax is more important than her and if he needs me, he has to be able to reach me. She wouldn’t do anything out of her way for her only son. Besides, I have a job and I am the one who adds minutes to it when needed. It’s hideous but does the job. It looks like it was designed for the handicapped program, seriously, or the assisted living. It has huge numbers like those jitterbugs. It’s hard to text from it because it’s the old school system, as Toby called it. Heck, it wasn’t to me. It was the only system I knew. I had to hit the 2, three times, to get a “C" to pop up, wait a second, and hit the next one, but it worked, and Toby texted me A LOT. We would sit in the parking lot in his truck for a while and talk, sometimes accidentally touching hands, until one day when he decided he would drop me off at home, instead of the normal, leaving me and letting me walk the few blocks. I didn’t like the idea but he knew I wasn’t from his side of the tracks. Literally, I lived east, in the slums and he lived west, in the beautiful gated community of Spring Lake. Which by gated, I meant, a huge black wrought iron gate, with a guard who kept the rift raft like me out. I was nervous to let him see my castle but I knew if we were going any further with this summer fling, it was inevitable, so I agreed. It was a short ride, but better than killing my feet. My used up All Stars wouldn’t take much more of this, no doubt. Thrift store here I come! This happened a few more times and one day, Toby smiles but is serious when he says, "One day Rory, I’m taking you away from this, but until then, I refuse to stop. It's just a passing through kind of thing, so when I come, be ready. I will keep driving and you gotta jump!” I about die laughing “Seriously Toby, I will eat gravel if I try to jump into this monster truck while it's moving.” He lost the smile. “Rory I am serious and I want you to be to. We aren’t stopping here. It’s just a pass by kind of thing." I got out and I could tell he was serious. As I stood watching him drive off, he tapped his brakes like always, letting me know he was watching me. I smiled and walked in. He thinks I am a pass by kind of thing or this place? I quickly scold myself for even thinking it. Toby meant the park, otherwise, he wouldn’t even drive through here. He was getting serious fast and actually, I liked it. That gets me back to where I started this story.
Almost a month of summer had passed and Toby and I spent every day together, work or not. He doesn’t even seem fazed by my random nervous ramble. Every day he would fly down the gravel road and I would wait by the box. When I saw him coming, he would slow down to almost a crawl, but never stopping and in I would jump. Ball Camp sucks! He stays there all day and I rarely work day shift; it’s for the older ladies. I still have my after school schedule, unless I was called in, so the one week in June and July that he had camp, I missed him like crazy. His truck was blaring the new Bruno Mars cd, which was bought because he knew it was my favorite guy ever. He didn’t like it at first but it grew on him, just like I did, ha. Today was Star Bucks day. We did the same thing every day of the week but every day was different. We had it mapped. Toby was the guy who always had a plan and today was one of my favorite days, Coffee and music. We would grab the Star Bucks coffee of our choice for the day, head out to the field, and just lay in the bed of his truck listening to the iPod. (His of course) We'd decide who we liked, make jokes about who would sing at our wedding, and what songs we would play to dance to. Once, when it was getting late, Toby pulled me up and we danced right there in the bed of his truck to Bruno’s “When I Was Your Man." I shed a tear when Toby leaned down and told me he loved me. Just 6 weeks I’ve known him and he cares more about me than my own mother ever has. He dipped me back like they do in the movies and I blurted out, “Oh Toby, I love you too." His lips were on mine in 2.2 milliseconds.
Monday was my official favorite day of the week now. However, it followed the worst day, so it worked. Sundays were the worst. I rarely saw Toby. He had church, family lunch, and then whatever his mother signed him up for at the church. A few times he stopped by the diner to get a milkshake but it was an in and out kind of order. 2 to 3 minutes tops and then he'd go running out the door. I am pretty sure his mother had no clue who I was. Once, I saw her shooting daggers at me through the glass while Toby stood there unaware because he was too fixated on me. Bitch don’t need to stare at me, I haven’t done anything to her. I smiled real big and pulled my eyes back to Toby. Handing him a napkin and wiping the milkshake off his nose from where he ate the cherry and I put too much in his cup, as always. Yep, she hates me! Hmm, that’s odd, she seems to have made up her mind already. And here I thought she would give me a chance first, being the Godly woman she is an all. Oh well, I will love her from afar, even if she looks like she is praying for God to make me get a paper cut. Judgmental Christian, that’s what I was always told, so I assume she will grade me the toughest. My job is to love Toby, her job is to love Toby, its one thing we have in common. But I bet my lucky rubber Justin Beiber bracelet she would argue that she loves him more. I’d get to keep my bracelet because I know for a fact it can’t be true. She has that love because she is his mother. He was born with her loving him. She would have loved any child she had, but me, I choose to love Toby. I want to love him. I would have loved him no matter who his mom was. That makes me the winner. All I heard as he left was a quick, "Bye baby." And then he was gone. But oh well, that’s been a while back. Here it is Monday and life is good.
The castle is dark when I get home. Carol's M.I.A. again and Thax was at a friend’s again, via the text I got earlier in the day. Sometimes I wished Toby would stop and stay awhile. He has never even seen my room. Refusing to stop posed a problem. Then again, here with him alone would be rough. We have a hard enough time keeping it PG-13 as it is. I mean, we are 18, well he is, but he seems to want to wait and I am ok with that. I should be, it's the right thing to do for myself. Tomorrow is Tuesday and that’s creek day normally but with camp, we won’t get to go. He will just grab me up for a few hours till his curfew.
Chapter Three
The rest of the week passes much the same as Monday a few hours with Toby and then back to the lonely dark tower of doom. Toby saves me every day, then he brings me back. I can’t help but daydream about the day he doesn’t, and that day will come. My granny always said “Rory baby you’re a dreamer” and I wish she were here now I would tell her it’s because when you live a nightmare you have to dream or you would never make it. I never told her the things I endured at home, she tried to shield us as much as she could but she just never knew the whole story. She may have beat Carol to death had she known. She couldn’t ever know because she would have considered herself a failure and that wasn’t the case. She is who I dream about now. Her and Toby without them to keep me strong I would be lost and where would that leave Thax? He is a great kid really he just has a really shitty role model. I remember once about a year ago an inebriated, pissed off Carol caught him smoking a cigarette he stole from her and she was so mad. Not about him smoking but taking hers so she was down one. She snatched it away from him and put it on the top of his right hand. He still has the scar. That was the first time I ever wanted to beat her down honestly. She’s treated me like crap my whole life but Thax he is a baby and he might as well be mine. When I heard him scream I made it but not in time. She was in his face screaming at him, spitting in his face, and still had that thing buried in his hand I could smell it on his skin. I pushed her so hard she stumbled and fell. She was wild eyed and crazed but I guess the look on my face was worse because I all said was stay down, and she didn’t dare move a muscle. Sometimes I wish she had, I needed a release then. I
had to deal with a terrified child alone being a child myself it’s not fair.
Chapter Four
Finally camp was over and summer was ours again! This meant days filled with swimming in the creek, riding four wheelers, and spending time in our favorite places.
I have the night off tonight, its rare I get a night off. I like to work as much as I can, we need the money but the more I work the less I see Toby. Tonight, I have free reign over my life so I can stay out all day until Toby has to return home. First swimming at the bluff which is a favorite thing to do! I mean it’s a long walk down a steep side of a nasty cliff thank heavens someone built stairs, even if there are like 200 and they tend to turn after every 5 or 6. But at the end it’s a huge pier and rarely busy. It’s the reason we come here instead of the man made beach where the rest of the school clique is. Toby says he isn’t embarrassed by me and I usually believe him, but sometimes when I step out in my thrift shop swimsuit I can’t help but wonder if he is lying. I mean he looks like a model in his hot pink Ralph Lauren swim trunks. And yet I am standing here in a whole piece that’s zebra print with red trim faded none the less. It’s not flattering but it’s better than the one I had before I started this dream walk with him. I had the same one I used when I was twelve. It still had unicorns on it for Pete’s sake. Maybe I can send it home with Amandolette she’s a fashion guru I bet she could make it come alive. However, I can thank her for the awesome red plastic hoops I have in my ears that match the suit as well as the huge plastic framed glasses. Bright red and fake diamonds it’s not something I would buy (even if I had the money) but Mando thought they looked perfect on me so she just left them with a scribble LOVE YOU and wah-lah, I have eye protection! We make it to the end of pier and thankfully only a few people are at one end. Toby lays out the overly huge 2 person towel, grabs an old bag of bread for the birds and fish and we get comfy to grab some sun. The bluff is Toby’s favorite place. We have a rope tied off the tree branch close to the pier for swinging, he can fish, I can lay out, we can make out, play in the water, or anything we want. It’s very peaceful. We don’t even bring the music here, it’s supposed to be this way. “What’cha looking at Toby?” of course he is staring at me when I open my eyes he always is. “You’re beautiful Rory, like not the hot sexy I want your body or the cute like a kid sister but the classic beautiful, everything about you is perfect. Even those awful sunglasses” he chuckles, and I blush but blowing him off “All I need is a little red corvette and an old school prince cd and I will be set” I give him a sweet smile grab a sip of water and lay back. I’m caught off guard when a bag plops down beside me “There is a happy for now, but one day your happy will be a little red corvette, I promise” I snatch the bag up smiling and of course I find a whole bag of dum dum suckers in it…yummm “ Why Tobias you sneaky thing you, your trying to butter me up? I love me a sticky sucker thank you, and for the car don’t make promises you can’t keep” I’m pretty sure he mumbled something about being serious but I choose to drop it and enjoy my day, I am banking we end up at the field tonight. Besides here its Toby’s only other place he just loves to be. He says on the field he feels like he is whole. I understand that, the only time I feel whole is.. Well never, I’d like to feel whole maybe one day I will find me a sacred place.
I can’t help but think summer is passing by so fast. Last night was amazing I love spending time with Toby even if we end up laying on the 50 yard line of the football field pointing out stars and blinking airplane lights, I can’t believe I thought it was a ufo once. Ha I guess I just needed to believe Han Solo is out there somewhere saving us one bad guy/sith at a time. Works dragging tonight I hate when we are slow, it doesn’t help that it’s a rare night. Toby is picking me up and that never happens. Even though he hates knowing I have to walk and talks to me the whole time it doesn’t change the fact he has curfew and my 11 pm clock out time matches it. But tonight is special it’s our 2 month anniversary and he swears he has the best surprise ever.
“Where are we going Toby?” I ask after about 2 minutes in the truck, suspense is not my thing. He was right on time picking me up, standing with his passenger door open just waiting for me to walk out. He looks so handsome in his cargo khakis, lime polo, and his frayed on the ends leather flip flops. While I was in all my greasy glory, fifties inspired diner get up which is ok except its end of a 6 hour shift and I am covered in ketchup and fry grease I smell like a hamburger and we don’t even want to talk about all the sweat yuck. I push a stray piece of wet hair behind my ear and just stare. “What is this?” I can’t even comprehend what I am starring at. “Rory I think this is it” is all he says. To me all I see is a death trap. “Come on I have to show you something” he says after we hiked back from parking the truck off the side of the road behind a huge grown up bushy type thing. I bet I end up with poison ivy in places my mom hasn’t seen since I was 3. “Toby what the crap is this? I am not crawling up that thing until you tell me why.” I stand my ground fully aware I look like I am six about to throw a tantrum, which I am not sure I won’t yet. “Rory please trust me it’s safe I checked” and he then he is gone behind a bunch of shrubs and dead wilted baby trees. He looks so cute climbing up that ladder with his little camo back pack. I make it up the ladder to the top safely. “Ok Toby spill it now this is weird” I look around and notice the spiders, the lights are all blown but the one on the opposite end, behind me higher than I can reach is a nasty billboard with peeling paper from an old ad about child abuse (how fitting) hanging all around. This is for shore not the nicest place Toby has taken me but the wolfish grin on Toby’s face tells me it’s about to be worth it.
He has his bag open and out comes a piece of rolled up paper like a diploma. He pulls out all these little tube looking pieces and is making quick work of twisting them all together. Ahh I see it ok... he has a small telescope and is adjusting it all the while not speaking to me at all. “TOBY I AM STILL HERE” he looks up excited, gosh I love this guy like people say to the moon and back but I love him more than that! “Ok Rory look in here and this open this” he says still grinning, I can’t help but reach over and lay a light kiss on his cheek he deserves it. I look first and all the stars are so bright and beautiful. “Do you see the brightest one in the top corner left?” he asked I looked again “Yes, I see it. It’s so much brighter than the rest.” It’s an honest observation and I remember the paper so I unroll it and as I read “OMG TOBY seriously like really for real seriously.” I look back at the sky and start crying. “I don’t even need the telescope to see it Toby it’s so bright I can see it perfect” he is so perfect “I know Rory but I wanted you to get a great first look, do you like it?” I can’t talk I am crying like a freaking baby, so I shake my head and just stare. After what seems like years I turn to him “No one has ever done anything even close to this” I giggle as I finish it “it’s like our baby, my own star Toby this is so amazing and you names it Saige simple but ours” no one would ever know this but Saige is the name me and Toby both decided on in the midst of a serious conversation one night on the field while star gazing. When we grow up and have kids and sex for that matter, no matter the baby sex it would be Saige. It was weird and Toby swears it’s the actual color of my eyes. And now here he is giving me just that, no one can ever take this away from me. I even have a certificate proving Saige is my star straight from name a star registry. And for the first time I feel whole. Toby has given me my sacred place. Right here on this old dilapidated stinky broken billboard, with our star. As far as I was concerned she, yes she I appointed my star a girl, was our baby. All ours no one could take her from me. It was perfect and I knew right then I would spend lots of time here.
Chapter Five
Summer love is the best, it’s like a whirlwind, it swoops in and leaves a mess in its path but its wild, fast, and fun. To be honest I am a little nervous today. Summer break finished as I figured it would. Me and Toby spent every single day together, except Sundays of course, swimming, kissi
ng, chasing fireflies, star gazing, kissing, starbuckin it up, and did I mention the heavy duty make out sessions that bordered “R” ratings. Yea life was good. Today however is a nerve racking first day of school and me and Toby don’t run in the same cliques, he says it will be fine but honestly I doubt that. Zac hates me as well as the rest of them. Not to mention Ashley, she is Toby’s ex and she’s has made it clear that he is too good for me. Her weekly trips to the diner consisted of nasty remarks about my hand me down clothes or shoes, milkshakes always jumped off the table, and holy batman her burger was ALWAYS wrong. I learned to ignore her and finally Mando’s mom told her if she accidently dropped one more drink she was responsible for the cost, needless to say they had at least stopped that. Too bad she couldn’t be charged for the ugly names and cat calls she hissed at me. Oh well some girls are total trash bags and she was queen bag.
Halfway down the hall this morning I had decided it best to veer off from Toby with an excuse about running by the office to see if I could take classes to get caught back up and graduate this year with him. Too bad when I made the comment to him he said it was nonsense and we would go together after school, apparently he has pull with the staff via his KING OF THE WORLD quarterback status. I saw the scowl on their faces but Toby seemed to be oblivious. He had his arm draped around my neck and never moved it to high five his team mates and the plastic crew. No one spoke to me even when he introduced me. Lucky for me Amandolette never left my side. One dude did complement my awesome throwback pink Floyd t-shirt so I gave him a soft smile which back lashed because Toby dropped a sweet kiss on the corner of my mouth making me melt and when I opened my eyes I saw Ashley huffing and stomping down the hall, I knew I would pay for that later. The same guy asked where I had found my original Chuck Taylors also but when I explained you had to dig in the discount bin at dirt cheap his face crunched up like someone hit a skunk. Sorry but if you want the best you have to dig and in some nasty places. My classic black Chucks were my favorite out of everything I owned. I looked funny today though. I had on the black Chucks, Mando’s ripped denim skirt, my lose Pink Floyd tee which was fine but Mando wouldn’t let me leave until she had fashioned a lose neon yellow leather belt around the skirt, added matching plastic hoops, and added this weird eternity headband to my hair that had a funky rainbow that laid flat again my hair on it. I was weird. Toby had flicked it and scrunched his nose but then winked and never mentioned it, obviously he didn’t care what I wore. Wish I could say the same about his friends minus the one guy I think his name was Clay and I noticed when he walked away he had a pair of awesome Jack Purcell’s on even if they were boat shoes they were awesome. And his wrist had an amazing leather cuff with one small gun metal colored logo on it I couldn’t make out but it was still awesome and I wanted one.
Trailer Park Princess Page 2
