by A. M. Myers
“Understood, Prez,” Moose says, nodding at Blaze. Blaze just nods in response, looking down at the sheet of paper on the table in front of him.
“The other one is on Saturday. Her name is Nadia, and she’s got a three-month-old baby girl with her. Husband is a shrimper, so he’ll be gone all day, and it should be fairly easy.”
“You know better than to say that, Blaze,” Streak says, and Blaze sighs as he nods. His face falls even more as he looks down at the paper in front of him and runs his hand through his hair.
“This morning, I got a call from Kelly, the nurse that helped Dina out when she came into the ER.”
“She got a new girl that needs help?” Red asks from the back, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in his chair. Blaze shakes his head.
“Dina was brought back into the ER last night with a serious brain injury, five broken ribs, and a lot of internal bleeding. They were able to stop the bleeding but when they examined her, it became clear that there was no brain function, and her mother made the decision to turn off life support.”
A hush falls over the room and I stare up at Blaze, blinking like I somehow didn’t understand what he just said. There’s no way…
“We had a plan to get her to her parents safely but it’s unclear right now what happened. She may have gone back to him or he may have found her. All we know is that no one can find Mitch, but Rodriguez is looking for him.”
“She wouldn’t have gone back,” I proclaim, looking Blaze dead in the eye. There is no way in hell Dina would have gone back to him. It’s not even a possibility.
“You don’t know that, Chance. We’ve been doing this long enough to know better,” Blaze says.
My fist slams onto the table and everyone turns to look at me with wide eyes. “No. She wouldn’t have gone back. He was right there when we were picking her up. He begged her to come back, and if she didn’t fold then, she wouldn’t have gone back to him.”
“Look, Chance,” Fuzz says, slapping a hand on my shoulder, “we all want to believe that she wouldn’t put herself in that position again, but we just don’t know.”
Shaking my head, I tune them out, unable to believe she would give everything up and go back to that piece of shit. I know all about how many times a woman will turn around and take another beating for a man she thinks she loves but Dina was different. She was so happy in her new life and she was feeling stronger everyday. It just doesn’t make sense. Thinking back to the day we saved her, I wish I had put a bullet in the husband’s skull like I wanted to.
“Smith and Fuzz, I want you to take care of the security at Nix’s place. They’re waitin’ for you.” Blaze’s voice breaks through my thoughts and I look up.
“On it, Boss,” Fuzz says, shooting Blaze a mock salute while Smith nods in agreement. These two live for this shit. Emma and Nix’s place will be harder to get into than the White House by the time they get done. Blaze nods and bangs the gavel on the table, storming out of the room before anyone else can even stand.
I sink back into my seat and think over the last time I saw Dina, looking for any clue I might have missed but I come up with nothing. The room is mostly cleared out by the time I stand up and walk out into the common area. Kodiak is at the bar and as soon as he spots me, he gets up and walks over to me.
“You all right?” he asks, slapping me on the back and I nod my head.
“I gotta get out of here.”
“You sure? Why don’t you just head up to your room and chill for a bit?”
I glance toward the stairs that lead up to our rooms before shaking my head. There is only one thing in this world I want right now and I only have enough energy to convince her to let me in. “Naw. I’m good. Thanks, though.”
“Yeah, anytime, brother.” He slaps my back again, nodding and I slip outside, Carly dominating my thoughts as I jump on my bike and peel out of the parking lot. I fucking love the work we do here, I really do, but Jesus, sometimes it just takes so much out of me. It’s a little sad how quickly something can thrust me back in time to when I was a kid watching my mom get the shit kicked out of her. The miles between the clubhouse and Carly’s apartment fly by but my mind is filled with images of my mom, beaten and bruised. They urge me to go fast as anger simmers in my blood.
I need her.
By the time I whip my bike into a parking spot outside her building and flip the kickstand down, I’m so agitated I probably look insane but I’m way past the point of caring. The blinders are on and my only focus is getting to her. Anything gets in my way and I’ll knock it the fuck down. I stop in front of the elevator and smash the button with my thumb as I stare up at the dial. My hand taps against my thigh as I watch it slowly wind down and when it stops on the fifth floor, my patience runs out. Growling, I turn toward the stairwell and fling open the door before racing up the ten flights of stairs to her apartment.
Bursting through the door to her hallway, I barely resist the urge to run the length of it as my mind races with thoughts of Dina going back to her ex. When I get to her door, I slam my fist against the wood repeatedly, not giving a damn who I wake up or disturb.
“Jesus Christ, what?” she seethes, throwing her door open and her gaze hardens as soon as she sees me. Yeah, so she’s mad at me but that’s going to have to wait until later. Before she can throw any attitude in my direction, I grab her and pull her into my body, burying my face in her neck. The smell of her coconut shampoo wafts in my face and I breathe it in, feeling my heart rate slow as her body softens against mine.
“What’s wrong?” she whispers, running her fingers through the hair at the base of my neck and relief washes through me.
“Can I come in?” I whisper against her skin, mentally begging her to not turn me away tonight and she nods, pulling away and stepping back so I can walk past her. I walk over to the couch and sink into it.
“You want a beer or something?” she asks, laying her hand on my forearm and I shake my head, wrapping my fingers around her wrist.
“No. I just need you.”
With a tug, I pull her over the arm of the sofa and into my lap as she squeals before straddling my thighs and running her hands down my chest. With just one touch, I feel like I can breathe for the first time since Blaze broke the news to us and I wrap my hand around the back of her neck before pulling her to my lips. She tastes like wine and chocolate and all I can think about is losing myself in her for a few hours.
“What happened?” she asks softly against my lips, worry filling her gaze as she pulls back to meet my eyes. I slip my hand into her hair, loving the way she subtly leans into my touch as she waits for my reply.
“We lost one of our girls today.”
Her eyes widen. “What?”
“This woman we helped a few weeks ago. Her name is Dina… was Dina… and Blaze just told us she was murdered.”
“Oh, Chance, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, leaning in and pressing her lips to mine. I grip her hair, fighting back tears of my own.
“It just doesn’t make sense, you know? She was so strong, even when her husband was in her face and making every promise he could think of, she didn’t waver. He threatened her and she didn’t back down. She was a fighter, so I can’t see her going back to him.”
She nods, offering me a comforting look. “Maybe the world and all its possibilities scared her back to the devil she already knew.”
“I don’t want to think that. In my perfect world, she got away and she thrived, but the evidence says otherwise. I don’t know. I went to go see her at the hotel not that long ago and the bruises around her neck from where he tried to strangle her were almost gone and her smile was brighter. Does that seem like a woman who would turn around and go back?”
My question is met with silence and I glance up, shocked by the haunted look on Carly’s face.
“Princess?” I ask and she blinks at me, her mask slipping back into place right in front of my eyes.
“I don’t know, Chance
. My Aunt Dottie always says people should trust their instincts more and I’ve learned to listen to her over the years.”
“What are you saying?” I ask and she looks away, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Nothing. Just that people lie, they lie all the time, and they manipulate the world around them to make people believe their lies.” She chews on her bottom lip and I can’t take my eyes off her. I’m getting another elusive glimpse under the mask and I’m mesmerized by the pain splashed across her face. “If you really believe she wouldn’t have gone back, maybe it’s worth looking into. At the very least, you’ll get closure.”
Something happened to her - something awful, something that haunts every aspect of her life. I was suspicious before but now I’m sure and all I want to do is fix it. Protectiveness wells up inside me as I think about someone hurting her and a deep rumble sounds in my chest. She looks back to me, her eyes wide.
“What happened to you, Princess?” I whisper, cupping her cheek as I search her gaze like it’ll tell me everything I need to know. Her wide eyes get even wider and a tear slips down her cheek before she can stop it. She jerks out of my arms and stumbles off my lap, shaking her head.
“Nothing. Nothing happened to me,” she mutters, still shaking her head and my fucking heart breaks in two in my chest. “You need to leave.”
Yeah, that’s not going to fucking happen.
Pushing off the couch, I go to her, catching her in my arms before she can run away, and hold her close. “Please don’t make me leave. I need you tonight and whether or not you want to admit it, I think you need me, too.”
The only sound is her labored breaths as I wait for her answer and I feel like she has the power to destroy me here. Finally, she nods. “Okay.”
Letting out a sigh, I pull her into my arms and my fingers dig into her hair as I kiss the top of her head. She pulls away and looks up at me, guarded but not completely closed off.
“One last thing, okay?”
When she nods, I give her the most reassuring smile I can. “I’m here for you, Carly. For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours and you can tell me anything.”
She drops her head, her forehead pressing against my chest as she grips my shirt in a fist. Her heaving back and the wet spot forming on my t-shirt are the only indications I have she’s crying and it tears my fucking heart out. Leaning down, I scoop her up into my arms and carry her to bed, hoping that one day she’ll feel safe enough to let me in. I’ll wait as long as it takes because if I know one thing for sure, it’s that I am completely and totally in love with this woman.
Chapter Fourteen
Carly
If I cracked open an encyclopedia and looked up the word screwed, I would find a little picture of me right next to it because it’s what I am. Completely and totally screwed. I’m talking up a creek without a paddle in the dead of winter kind of trouble and there is no hope for salvation. And you want to know the very worst part? I knew better. I’ve already learned this lesson the hard way once but apparently, I’m a little slow because I jumped in headfirst. I was weak and I could blame it on any number of things but it won’t fix anything now. The very first time he looked at me with those jade colored eyes on me and smiled, I should have run in the opposite direction. Instead, I hesitated and I got sucked into his orbit. Any other guy, any other time, and I would have walked away but not this time, not with Chance. Something about him kept me rooted to the spot and he invaded my life.
Either I’ve completely lost my mind or it’s been so long since I’ve been properly fucked that he was able to dazzle me with his skills in bed and render me stupid. But even as I think that, I know it’s not true. What Chance and I have is deeper and no matter how hard I try to fight it, I just keep falling deeper. I wish I could blame it on the sex because it would make it easier to walk away but I’m in too deep now. I’ve allowed things to go too far, farther than I’ve ever allowed them to go before, and the biggest problem is I fucking like it. I like the way he holds me at night and how it feels when I first see his face after a long day at work. When he wraps his arms around me, I can’t imagine anything better and the safe feeling that washes over me from his presence alone is addicting and so incredibly dangerous. And I’m afraid I’m starting to need it.
My mind drifts to the night before last when he showed up on my doorstep with a haunted expression I was all too familiar with. It broke through my defenses and I couldn’t turn him away no matter how hard I tried. He needed me in that moment and if I’m honest with myself, I needed him, but it was a mistake. My mask slipped and he saw it all, all the pain and anger I’ve kept inside all these years. He may not know exactly what torments me, but he knows more than he should. And then, the next morning, he woke me with a line of kisses down my naked back that sent my heart fluttering like I’d never experienced pain or heartbreak in my life. That’s why he’s so dangerous. Because he makes me forget.
After our shower together, we made love in front of the mirror, staring into each other’s eyes the whole time – another costly mistake – before he baked muffins for breakfast. I sat at the island and we talked the whole time, about absolutely nothing at all and I laughed more than I can remember in recent memory. Any spare moment he had, he was glued to my body, caressing me, peppering little kisses over my skin that made my heart ache with their tenderness. For those fleeting moments, we were like a real couple and it was amazing. No, more than amazing. It was everything. Everything I’ve always wished for in the dark of night but never been able to admit. Everything that was robbed from me when I was only a child. Everything that will never last. At least, not for me.
And just like that, I’m imagining a life for us and the kicker is, it’s so easy to picture in my mind. I can see him in my house, our house, sleeping in our bed, and us loving each other through every day for the rest of forever. I can imagine walking down an aisle to him as he waits in front of the preacher and babies running around the house, little giggles filling the air as we watch them, our hearts full of love. Suddenly, it feels like the air has been knocked out of me and I close my eyes to regain control. I cannot be thinking things like this and I definitely can’t use words like love or forever. They may be a part of everyone else’s lives but not mine.
“Hello? Earth to Carly,” Ali calls, getting my attention by waving her hand in front of my face and I blink, glancing up at her.
“Huh?”
She scowls at me. “Are you ignoring us?”
“No,” I breathe out, shaking my head. “I’m just a little distracted.”
“Yeah, I figured that out,” she scoffs. “What are you thinking so hard about over there?”
“Nothing.” I wait until she looks away to glance at Chance, who is sitting a few tables over to keep an eye on us. I understand the guys have Ali under surveillance for her safety but why the hell did they have to send Chance in here? Or why couldn’t he keep watch outside where Storm is right now?
“Okay, seriously, what is going on with you?” Izzy asks, her gaze zeroed in on me. Pulling my gaze away from Chance, I shake my head and take a deep breath to focus on our dinner conversation.
“Sorry. Just family stuff lately.” It’s not exactly a lie since neither Dottie or I have heard from Ivy in a while but that’s not what’s taking up all my focus tonight.
Ali glances over at me, her brow furrowed and concern in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, just drama, you know?”
“You sure?” she asks. I force a smile and nod, doing my best to avoid Chance’s gaze.
“Absolutely.”
She’s not buying it, but she doesn’t say anything else as she looks back down at her menu. Like he’s got some kind of power over me, my eyes seek Chance again and I sigh when I find him still staring at me. With monumental effort, I turn away from him and turn back to Ali.
“Why is Chance in here? I kind of assumed Storm wouldn’t let you out of his sight.”
She sighs, ro
lling her eyes but a smile teases her lips as she glances over her shoulder at Chance and I follow her gaze. He flashes her a grin and waves, making her roll her eyes again. “Oh, believe me, he was not happy about it, but I told him I deserved time with my friends without him breathing down my neck and he finally agreed as long as Chance was inside.”
“I’m sure he took that well,” Izzy quips and we all giggle as Ali nods. She’s so happy that she’s practically glowing even with all the drama going on in her life.
“Yes, well, I know just how to persuade him.”
Izzy grins. “I love that I’m not the only one having sex anymore and we can talk about this stuff.”
“When has that ever stopped you?” Ali asks and she laughs.
“Never, but now I’m not the only one talking about it. Next up, we have to find Carly a man.”
“Uh, no. I’m good,” I interject, a blush creeping up my cheeks as I peek over at Chance. He’s supposed to be watching out for Ali but every time I glance in his direction, his eyes are on me. It makes me squirm in my seat.
“Come on, Carly. Tell the truth, how long has it been?”
Turning back to Izzy, I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“Oh, Jesus,” she croaks, slamming her hand over her heart in typical dramatic fashion. “It’s been so long you can’t even remember the last time you had sex? Shit. Let me call one of the guys from my list. We need to get you an orgasm as soon as possible. I’m pretty sure this is a medical emergency.”
When I sneak a peek over at Chance again, he’s staring at me still, his brow arched and a wide grin on his face. No worries, Iz. There’s no need to find me someone because I remember the last time I had sex vividly. In fact, I can’t erase the image of Chance, dripping wet in my shower as he slips his hand between my legs, out of my mind. The blood rushes to my cheeks and I remember the way he bent me over and grabbed my hips like he owned them. Peeking over at Chance again, desire pools in my belly.
