by Lynn Kelling
“Please don’t leave me?” Evan asked, without pride or shame. “I need you here. He’s gonna know either way, and…. Look, I don’t care about you and Bren getting off on each other, literally or metaphorically. It’s like Luka said; we’re a family. Each one of you is family to me now and I don’t know how I’d get through this without you, Alek. But if you don’t want to be here with me, then that’s—”
The rest was cut off when Alek, frowning, tilted Evan’s chin up and kissed him softly. Tasting minty toothpaste and feeling every ounce of Alek’s love for him, Evan surrendered to it, moaning softly. He grabbed on to Alek’s waist and gave him as much as he wanted to take.
Brennan and Luka stared at each other from across the room, wary and hurt. Both of them had their arms crossed over their chests, clinging to the last shred of hope. Luka saw Brennan’s eyebrows tilt in a wordless, heartfelt plea and that was it. His gorgeous, sweet blond Cupcake slipped under his defenses and broke Luka down.
“Bren, c’mere you crazy little fucker.”
Brennan smiled helplessly even as a sob choked him. Luka went to him, scooping him up into an all-encompassing embrace. While clutching to Luka, Brennan sighed and didn’t let go. There was so much to say and so many complex issues lingering between them, threatening to rip them apart again. But Brennan said everything Luka needed to hear with the words, “I love you, Luka. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you,” Luka replied. “God, I’ve missed you so much and it’s only been a day.”
“I know. Me too,” Brennan groaned, grabbing Luka’s face with both hands and kissing his lips. “Can we never fight again? Please?”
Wanting it to be true, Luka swore, “Deal.”
Ten minutes later, Brennan and Luka were sitting side-by-side across from Evan and Alek, with the ottoman pulled up across from the couch. There was still one more hurdle before peace could reign again in the household. It was the elephant in the room and it was right next to Luka, scowling and exuding stubbornness. Brennan looked between Luka and Alek, demanding, “Apologize to each other.”
Alek glared at Luka with eyes like daggers, at first it seemed doubtful it would happen, but Luka broke first, as usual. “Sorry.”
Alek rolled his eyes, but was nudged by Evan. “Yeah, me too. Sorry.”
“That was amazingly pathetic,” Evan said.
“Now kiss and make up,” Brennan instructed.
“Are you kidding?” Luka laughed. “You are kidding, right?”
“Does it look like I’m kidding, Popovic? Go on, we’re waiting,” Brennan retorted, gesturing to Alek.
“I don’t want to.”
“How old are you?” Alek sighed.
“Old enough to kick your ass around the block.”
“Stop it,” Evan growled. “You two have to figure out how to share with each other, or else this isn’t going to work. Just because you’re scared or angry about something doesn’t mean you get to beat the piss out of each other. Use your damn words like grownups.”
“We understand you’re not exactly used to this, you’re only used to loving and sharing each other, not your partners, but this is it. Either you get over it, or we’re done. You can’t each have both of us if it makes you want to strangle each other. So fucking kiss and make up and make it believable or get the hell out,” Brennan commanded.
“God damn, you’re bossy,” Luka gaped.
“You’re telling me,” Alek muttered. “I don’t know how you put up with that crap. No wonder you spank his ass so often.”
Brennan’s mouth tightened, but he didn’t respond. He only looked at them expectantly while Evan masked a smirk.
“I still don’t want to,” Luka said simply.
“Jesus H. Christ,” Alek sighed. He got up from the ottoman and came right at Luka, pushing him back into the couch and bearing down on him. He twisted a hand in Luka’s shirt, grabbed him by the jaw and claimed his mouth with a growl, biting Luka’s bottom lip, provoking a small, sharp sound of complaint. Then Alek’s tongue pushed into Luka’s mouth when Luka opened with a gasp. They kissed angrily for a long moment.
Alek let him go and slumped back down onto his seat. “Happy?”
“Fucking toppy bastard.”
“What, you think you can do better?”
“I do, actually.”
“Okay. Bring it, smartass.”
Luka saw Evan and Brennan glance at each other with amusement and wonder. Standing, Luka grabbed Alek, hoisted him to his feet and shoved him back roughly against the wall behind him. Using his considerable strength from regular work-outs, Luka easily pinned Alek’s wrists to the wall on either side of his head and closed his mouth over Alek’s pulse point, sucking hard. Drawing a knee up between Alek’s thighs, Luka parted his brother’s legs and, grinding the muscle of his thigh against Alek’s balls, elicited a low, rolling moan.
The moan became a breathless chuckle. Luka followed the sound, trailing the tip of his tongue up the side of Alek’s throat, scraping his teeth over the ridge of his brother’s jaw, brushed his lips over heated skin. Eyes glinting, Alek dared Luka without saying a word. He was ready for it when Alek tried to break free of Luka’s hold, trying to pry his wrists from the wall. Arms flexing, Luka renewed his grip and Alek didn’t even budge.
The expression on Alek’s face said to Luka clearly, Evan is mine.
Calm, unprovoked, but easily overpowering his slightly older brother, Luka responded in kind, lifting an eyebrow as he radiated the message, Brennan is mine.
“I could do this all day, you know,” Luka warned, speaking softly, only for Alek.
“If you hurt him, I’ll kill you.” It was barely sound, but Luka heard. The laughter was gone, from Alek’s gaze and the curl of his lips, leaving only what the bitter amusement tried to hide—wounded fear.
“Hurt who?” Luka retorted, adding with nothing as crude as words, you’re the one who hurts people, Aleksy.
Stepping back, letting go, Luka gave the identical pair of innocent, beautiful, vulnerable young men behind him a glance over his shoulder, then said to his twin, “I love them. I don’t need to fight you for them.”
Alek took a moment to absorb this. He nodded. “Okay. Truce.”
“Truce,” Luka agreed.
Chapter 13
Your Baby No More
In the hall outside of Evan’s room, Alek avidly watched Evan eat a banana while Evan pretended Alek wasn’t watching him eat a banana. Brennan was changing the sheets on his bed and Luka was debating whether or not to stay the night, and with whom.
“So what, specifically, does Jimmy know?” Alek asked as Evan closed his lips in a wide circle around the column of fruit. His cheeks hollowed for the briefest second as he withdrew the banana and simultaneously took a bite.
Eyes twinkling, Evan repressed a triumphant grin at the rapt expression on Alek’s face. After he swallowed, Evan answered, “That you live here now. That Luka and I are fuck buddies. That something troubling is going on with me and Bren. Yeah, I think that covers it.”
“Do you think he just assumes Luka and I are screwing around with both of you, or do you think he really suspects you and Bren are fooling around with each other, too?”
Evan shrugged. “Who knows? Either way, I’m in deep shit. And now, officially, a dirty whore.”
“Well, that goes without saying,” Brennan smirked as he walked by, getting an extra blanket from the linen closet before returning to his room with it.
“Did I ask for commentary? Huh?!” Evan called back. He took one last, large bite. The hand holding the now-empty banana peel fell to his side. Evan’s other hand was wrapped around his middle, clasped to the ribs of his bad side, rubbing idly over the spot. Walking a few steps, he tossed the peel overhand into the wastebasket near the door to his and Alek’s bedroom. “I’ve gotta get to bed if I’m going to work tomorrow.”
“If you’re not up for it, don’t go. I make enough to cover the b
ills anyway,” Alek told him.
“It’s not about the money. I have to go. And besides, I’d never ask that of you—to pay for me like that.”
“That’s what people who love each other do. They take care of each other. The last thing I want right now is for you to be crawling under cars and leaning over engines all day when you’re still in pain.”
“I’ll be fine,” Evan assured him.
“What if you’re not?”
“Then I come home early and reevaluate. Okay?”
Luka was hovering nearby, eavesdropping. Alek, biting back a fresh wave of bitter resentment that Evan noticed anyway, asked Luka, “What’s your opinion of this?”
“Evan working?” Luka clarified. “I think we need to let him make the call and support his decision.”
“Of course you do,” Alek grumbled under his breath. Evan suspected the resentment stemmed from the fact that now they needed to consult Luka about Evan’s personal decisions, instead of things staying between the two of them. He could see why that would upset Alek, but it only made Evan feel more loved, and luckier. He hoped eventually Alek could let go of jealousy and appreciate how amazing their situation was, their newly formed commitments to one another.
Alek set his jaw and inhaled deeply.
“Hey,” Evan said tenderly to Alek, trying to soothe.
“It’s fine. Luka’s right. You should be able to decide this for yourself. Where do you want me tonight? If you’d rather sleep with Luka…?” he asked quietly, without looking Evan in the eye.
“I can’t sleep without you next to me,” Evan mouthed back to him, barely speaking the words, pulling Alek close, his eyes trained on Alek’s expression. Planting a hand on the wall behind Evan’s head, Alek nuzzled the slightly scruffy skin on the side of Evan’s jaw and sighed.
Luka walked over. Alek turned away. Evan glimpsed anguish in Alek’s expression as Luka kissed Evan goodnight, promising, “I’ll give you a ride to work in the morning. ‘Night, baby. Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Evan murmured softly, holding Alek. Then Luka went to Brennan’s bedroom.
Brennan stood back as Luka walked past and into his room, watching the entangled pair left behind. When Alek didn’t move and Evan didn’t either, Brennan did for them. He stalked up to them, beckoning to Alek with a sharp, “Hey.”
He didn’t turn from Evan instantly. First, Alek held his gaze with remorse exuding from every pore, pleading for forgiveness with unvoiced desperation.
“It’s okay,” Evan told him, releasing him. It was clear, though, Alek didn’t believe him.
That didn’t stop him from taking Brennan into his arms, kissing the top of his head. Staring at the two of them together, Evan saw them look into each other’s eyes in a way they never had before. There was devotion and intimacy in the way Brennan looked up at Alek, who briefly caressed the side of his cheek. Alek seemed on the verge of tears, fighting fervently through some inner battle. Brennan easily drew Alek down for a quick kiss.
Straightening, stepping back, Brennan turned from Alek to Evan. He gave Evan a complicated sort of look. It was dangerous, passionate, devoted, and not brotherly at all. It told Evan a lot of things at once—cementing his suspicion that Brennan, like Evan, held no fault for their indiscretions. It said Brennan viewed Evan as something that was his, his blood, his soul mate, his eager, willing lover.
It foreboded a difficult reunion with their father.
“See you tomorrow,” Brennan said with love, and with conviction. “Get some sleep.”
Then he was gone too, gone to Luka, and it was just Evan and Alek left, with Alek unable to look at him.
“Gimme a few minutes to shower. I kind of rushed through mine earlier and—”
“No,” Evan said definitively. “Come on. I’ll come with you.”
Taking Alek by the hand, Evan led him to the bathroom and shut the door behind them. He turned on the water, waiting for it to run hot. He watched Alek lift off his shirt and strip out of his pants.
“You don’t have to,” Alek said quietly. “Everything I do just makes things harder for you.”
“Get in the shower, Alek. You take care of me constantly. I can take care of you, too.”
Evan slowly pulled his own shirt over his head, hissing sharply as a pang cut into him. His hand went to his left side and when he looked up, saw Alek’s eyes fixed to the spot and tears sliding down his cheeks.
“Hey.”
Alek finally looked up, sniffed, then looked away, rubbing the back of his hand over his eyes.
“I love you, too,” Evan said tenderly. “I loved you first.” Flattening a hand over his scar, he added, “And this is not your fault.”
Alek’s face crumpled for a heart-wrenching moment and he sucked in a rough breath before composing himself and gazing longingly, urgently at Evan.
They stepped into the shower. Water ran in rivers down Alek’s back, washing him clean. Alek caught Evan’s mouth in an unhurried, exploratory, sweet and soft kiss that went on and on until the water turned cold, vitality pulsing strongly under Evan’s skin to the beat of his heart.
Brennan and Luka sat on the bed, legs folded, postures slumped, a few feet of space keeping them apart. On any other night, they would have already slipped under the covers and pressed close, in search of comfort and sleep. Everything that happened lingered in the air between them, making it impossible to cross the gap. Luka having sex with Evan, Brennan having sex with Alek, the violence between the Popovic brothers—they were heavy, inescapable truths.
Eventually, Brennan said, “It just happened. It wasn’t intentional to, like, hurt you.”
Luka raised an eyebrow at him, picking restlessly at a spot on the fresh bed sheets.
“I know,” Brennan admitted, holding both hands up, palm out. “I’m a hypocrite. On the plus side, I believe you now.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You love Evan.”
“Bren, don’t,” Luka started, getting upset.
“No, I’m just stating the facts. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t love him. I accept it now. You love him. You want him. And I want Alek, too. Those are things that aren’t going to go away.”
“Do you love him?” Luka asked quietly, daring Brennan to say it.
“Luka,” Brennan fretted, drawing his knees up, looking uncomfortable.
“I just want to know. I have a right to know.”
“I agree,” Brennan sighed. “But it’s not the same with us as it is with you and Ev. I haven’t been secretly obsessing over Alek or anything.” He held up a hand to stop Luka when he opened his mouth to argue. “Let me finish, please. We’ve been screwing around since the beginning, right? Me and Alek? You’ve watched it happen. You allowed it. You’ve even suggested I fuck both of you at once. It was a continuation of that. Of course I care about him. I’m not ready to call it love.”
After taking a few breaths, he added, “It’s probably going in that direction, though. What you have with Ev—that’s not going away. Me and Alek aren’t going away either. I want him. I want you. I want Evan. I want all of you. I’m greedy like that.”
Luka nodded, stared down at his fingers picking at a flaw in the sheet. Without anger, but with plenty of defensive sadness, he asked, “Do you love me? I mean, honestly.”
Brennan became perfectly still. He didn’t even breathe. Then he grabbed a pillow and threw it, angrily, at Luka’s head.
“Hey,” Luka frowned, deflecting the blow.
Brennan was up on his knees, pushing at Luka’s shoulders and chest. “Fuck you! How dare you ask me that?! Fuck you! God, Luka.”
His wrists trapped in Luka’s powerful grasp, Brennan’s fight drained quickly out of him. With his expression blazing with accusation and injury, Brennan’s surge of assault quickly turned to defense as Luka pressed him back to the bed and lay atop him.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Luka apologized, brushing Brennan’s cheeks dry. “I guess I just needed
to hear you say it. It’s been a rough day.”
The pads of his fingers skimmed over freckled skin. He fell into the blue of Brennan’s wet, shining eyes.
“I love you, Cupcake. I’ll love you forever,” Luka told him, still soothing away the hurt, stress and recrimination.
“Prove it,” Brennan muttered, spreading his legs wider for Luka to settle between them, brushing his fingers through Luka’s long hair as some tendrils fell over his eyes, smoothing them back. “Show me.”
“Happily,” Luka agreed, adding, “I still need you to say it.”
“Love you, Luka. You know I’ll always love you.”
Luka smiled and kissed the last tears away.
Evan slept all night in Alek’s arms, first with his head pillowed on Alek’s chest, then, when bad dreams woke him, shifted to his good side with Alek spooned up behind him. After that, Evan’s rest was peaceful and dreamless. Alek rose at six to get ready for work. Kissing Evan goodbye, he whispered, “Call my office if you need anything, or text me. Don’t push yourself too hard.”
“’Kay,” Evan murmured sleepily. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” Alek said, kissing Evan’s lips and the center of his forehead.
Brennan was busy meditating once Evan was up and dressed around eight. Luka left Brennan with a kiss to his temple, trying not to disturb him. He slipped on some shorts and a shirt and grabbed his keys, murmuring to Brennan a quick, “Be right back.”
Evan met him on the front stoop, his hands in his pockets, drowsily waiting for the cup of coffee he’d had to kick in. With a glance back to the house, Evan said quietly, “You don’t have to do this. I can walk. I have a car if I wanted to drive.”
“You’re not walking. Come on.” Luka crossed quickly to the truck parked in front of the house, unlocking the doors with a push of a button. He opened Evan’s door for him, getting an eye roll for his trouble.
Once Luka was settled behind the wheel, Evan rubbed a hand over his face and leaned an elbow against the door. “What’s wrong with you? Why are you doing this? You don’t have to turn everything into a big deal like Alek does, or chauffeur me to prove your stake of ownership.”
