by Lynn Kelling
“This is nice,” Brennan sighed, moving with them, wrapped in love and the forms of his lovers.
“Yeah,” Alek agreed. “Yeah, it is.”
Luka was the one to break away. He didn’t have to say why. Alek could see from the look on his brother’s face how upset he was. Luka turned and quickly left the room. Brennan started to turn as well, concern for Luka reflected in his expression.
“Give him a minute or two, okay?” Alek asked. “Please.”
The dance over, Brennan went back to sit on the edge of the bed. It was too quiet in the house. Though Luka’s bedroom door had been shut, they could still hear him crying, so Alek closed his door as well. Luka deserved the privacy.
“I wouldn’t take any of it back, you know,” Brennan said while staring down at his hands, folded neatly in his lap. “I wouldn’t undo what I have with Evan… or you, Aleksy. Even if we don’t make it. I just wanted to tell you that, before.”
“Don’t talk like that,” Alek sighed.
“I’m not a fool, you know. I know what this is. We don’t work without him. It’s all or nothing.” His voice softened even more as he added, “I don’t even know if Evan and I work without you two, and that’s the scariest part of all.”
Alek walked to the bed and crouched by Brennan’s feet, gazing at him and folding his hands over Brennan’s.
“We’re here,” Alek said, smiling with more bravery than he felt. “We’re not giving up.”
“Good,” Brennan smiled back. “Thanks for that.”
That night, a small miracle happened. Evan came over for dinner with Alek, Luka, Brennan, Carter, and Presley. Carter had invited him. They didn’t talk about Charlie or the future. They just shared some of Brennan’s amazing macaroni and cheese and watched a football game on television. All of them looked a little worse for wear, with bags under their eyes and tension in the way they sat, moved and even spoke to one another, but it was a start.
After a little while, Carter and Presley left to give the foursome time to be together without complications or added pressure, which was good, because Alek could see how close Luka was to losing his composure the entire time. Luka held Evan in his gaze almost constantly, as if expecting him to run off yet again, at any moment, deciding it was all too difficult to bother working for. That cemented it for Alek, more than anything else. He’d never seen Luka so desperate to make something work. They had no choice anymore. Egos needed to be put aside, along with everything else. The only way the four of them would be happy, was together, them against the world.
When the clock ran out and the game was over, Luka glanced at Alek with almost stark fear, which was only intensified when Evan sat forward on the couch and said, “Well, it’s getting late.”
“So what?” Brennan said, glancing quickly around at Alek and Luka for support. “Jimmy didn’t give you a curfew, did he?”
“No, but we all have work in the morning,” Evan explained. “’Cept you. Not a dig or anything, just saying.”
“You can stay if you’d like,” Alek interjected. Gratitude seemed to flow from Luka at that. Fear of Evan leaving them seemed to have left Luka unable to speak. “No complications. I just miss sleeping next to you. We all miss you.”
Looking hesitant, Evan didn’t respond right away. He glanced at Alek, then Brennan, then his own hands.
“Please.”
The plea came from Luka. He was biting hard at his lip to keep from crying again. Glancing away, Alek closed his eyes and waited for Evan’s decision. It felt like a pivotal moment. This would either be the first step toward the end, or the first, blessed sign of possibility.
“Okay,” Evan answered, finally.
When Alek finally managed to drag his gaze upward, breathing a little easier, his heart warming slowly, he saw Evan get to his feet and walk to where Luka was sitting beside Brennan. Luka bowed his head, averting his eyes as emotion got the best of him, and was embarrassed by it. But Evan took Luka’s face in his hands, got down on his knees in front of him and kissed him for a long time.
That was the beginning—their beginning. Brennan smiled at Alek with pure joy, and he knew. They still had a chance, they just had to work for it.
Chapter 27
Ending, Beginning
Charlie had visited with Evan almost daily, as much as he was able to, given Evan’s schedule and stress levels. Usually, Jimmy was there, too. They only talked about safe things, like the weather, work, and sports. It was an attempt to move on, and Evan appreciated his father’s efforts, awkward as they were.
Evan was glad he’d chosen to remain apart from Brennan, Alek, and Luka for a little while, not only for appearances sake, but also to assert his independence.
It was Evan’s choice to wait for peace to settle on the group and his own inner strength to grow before moving forward. Through with relying on others to care for him, guide him, or prop him up, Evan was standing on his own two feet for the first time in his life. He had asserted and exposed his true self to everyone that mattered. It was the most he could do. He couldn’t change anyone’s opinion of him or his choices, he could only live with them and try to progress from there.
Charlie had let Evan down in a big way by not finding a way to come home when he was needed. Logically if not emotionally, Evan understood the reasons why it had to be that way. It was, however, one of the reasons why Evan felt no need to be there to see his father off when it was time for him to leave. They said their goodbyes in private, beforehand, just the two of them, outside Jimmy’s trailer.
Evan’s reliance on Charlie had diminished greatly, in a healthy way. As the weight of guilt and secrecy was lifted, likewise eased was Evan’s feeling of responsibility to make his father happy with him. It was Charlie’s task to learn to accept Evan, as well as Brennan. All Evan could do was to be steadfast and patient in the meantime.
Comfortable with who he was, or at least honestly trying to be, Evan’s first way of expressing that was to let Charlie have his time with Brennan, and to step back in a respectful way when Charlie went to catch his plane.
Charlie gave Evan a brief hug, saying, “Keep in touch with me, ya hear? Any more medical bills that come in, just send my way. And if any of you ever want to come out for a visit, give a call. I’ll set it up.”
“Yeah, Dad,” Evan murmured, straightening, standing his ground.
“Look,” Charlie started. “About Brennan…. I’m not gonna get into it. Promise. Just… try to be careful? Use your head. Please. You two mean too much to me to see things get any harder for you than they need to be.”
“Okay,” Evan replied, accepting the advice without argument.
“How are you feeling these days? Better? How’s your side?”
“Stronger,” Evan admitted.
“Good. I’m glad. You know I love you, boy.”
“Yeah, Dad. I know. I love you, too.”
That evening, Brennan, Alek, Luka, and Jimmy drove with Charlie to the airport. Alek and Luka didn’t need to be asked to come along, they simply continued to offer their support in hopes of, possibly, cementing Brennan’s tenuous bond with his only living parent, something they never got to have. They said their farewells in the cavernous, bustling airport, filled with people pulling suitcases, loaded down with bags and packages.
Jimmy helped Charlie tag and organize his carry-on and his checked bag. Luka and Alek stood beside Brennan.
There had been no further discussion between Charlie and Brennan regarding the nature of Brennan and Evan’s relationship. Brennan would not apologize, nor would he beg forgiveness or give excuses. He simply was incapable of caring about the nature of Charlie’s opinion of it all. Each time Charlie seemed about to broach the subject with his son, he was met with the look in Brennan’s eyes telling him in no uncertain terms if Charlie dared to threaten, accuse, or condemn Brennan for what he’d done, Charlie would only be met with a list of his own crimes against his family, thrown back in his face.
At a standof
f with each other, Charlie and Brennan recognized their failings and, despite them, chose to try to make an effort to get along.
Brennan, the day before, had received a congratulatory gift from his father in anticipation of a letter of acceptance regarding his application to nursing school. On his last evening in Whippoorwill, Charlie pulled up to Alek and Luka’s house with a shining, white Chevy.
It was beautiful, a perfect counterpart to Evan’s black version. Brennan was overjoyed, literally dancing around the lawn while Alek and Luka chuckled with amusement. Then, Brennan dove behind the wheel and took off down the road, testing out his new ride, which was meant to ease the commute back and forth from school.
Originally, it had been Evan’s job to facilitate Brennan’s search for a car, but it was something Charlie had wanted to do for Brennan himself. And Brennan was thrilled he had, as much as the gift was a blatant attempt to buy his affections, because every time he drove it, every day he went to school, Brennan would be able to lay hands on the proof of his father’s commitment to his future. It was the best gift he’d ever been given, apart from the gift of Evan, himself.
“I want a weekly report on your schooling, and how you’re doing,” Charlie told him, his carry-on bag slung over a shoulder.
“Absolutely.”
“Alek. Luka.” Charlie shook each of their hands in turn. “I have your solemn word you both will do everything in your power to take care of my boys?”
“Yes, sir,” they replied in unison.
“I don’t need to tell you how much they mean to me. They’re all I have.”
“We feel the same way,” Alek said.
“Good.”
“It was good to meet you,” Luka told him, solemnly. “Hopefully, you can visit again soon. We know how much Brennan and Evan need you to be part of their lives.”
“Indeed. I’ll surely be visiting again before you know it. I love the hell out of my boys, even when I’m not here with ‘em. You know how to reach me in the meantime.”
Charlie backed up a step, another, then another. He stopped. Sighed. “Brennan….”
Brennan walked forward, leaving Alek and Luka behind, letting his father hug him and kiss the side of his head. “I love you, son. With all my heart.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Brennan whispered back.
“You promise to call me as often as you can, and to not dodge me all the time,” Charlie said in a strained, emotional voice.
“I promise,” Brennan smiled.
It was easier for everyone once Charlie left. Evan stopped by his old house once in a while to get clean clothes, but didn’t stay there long. Brennan had already moved out, so the house was strangely empty. The plan was to rent it out once Evan had figured out where he wanted to live. It seemed unavoidable that they would all move in together, though they were somewhat caught in a holding pattern. Evan wasn’t comfortable invading the house Alek, Luka, and now Brennan shared with Carter and Presley. Visiting was okay. Living there wasn’t.
Three days after Charlie flew out of state, Alek took them out to dinner. It was a cozy, modern place. They sat in a booth, which gave them more than enough privacy, though Evan was hyperconscious of the stares they always seemed to get when the two sets of twins were in public together. The four of them were an oddity, and attention was unavoidable.
With Evan seated next to Luka and Brennan next to Alek, they ordered their meal and got comfortable. Luka kept taking Evan’s hand. Alek had his arm around Brennan. It was nice.
“So, what’s the occasion?” Evan asked. “There’s an occasion isn’t there? I can feel it.”
“Yeah, okay. There is,” Alek confessed. Brennan nudged him and smiled.
“Do you know?” Evan asked his brother.
“No, I’m just happy,” Brennan beamed. “I love you guys.”
“Oh my god, he’s so fucking adorable, I literally feel like I need to eat him,” Luka said.
“Wow,” was the only response Evan could come up with to that. Laughing, he turned back to Alek and said, “You were saying?”
“I found a place. I went by during lunch today and I think it could work. I mean, it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t have to be a permanent solution. It’s cheap enough without being a total pit and the landlord already promised to agree to any renovations we’d require. He even said we could take down the wall between the two bedrooms if we wanted. But that would be for down the road. I’m too eager to get in there to wait for any construction delays. So, what do you think? I’ve got the floor plan on my phone, if you want to check it out. It’s downtown, above some shops. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms. Plenty of parking.”
Brennan bounced a little in his seat. Luka was smiling behind his hand, like he was trying not to let on how happy he was. Alek looked so hopeful, vulnerable, and eager to please; it took Evan’s breath away. Glancing around at all of them, Evan said, “I love you guys.”
Suddenly, Luka came at him sideways and bit Evan’s ear. Laughing, Evan exclaimed, “Help! He’s gone cannibal!” loud enough to draw stares from nearby patrons. Brennan snorted with laughter while simultaneously trying to act dignified in order to counterbalance the spectacle of Evan’s wrestling with Luka.
An elderly couple tsked at them. Evan and Luka made a greater effort to compose themselves, straightening the cloth napkins on their laps, smoothing their hair and clothing.
“I love you guys, too,” Alek grinned.
“Oh, that’s not fair!” Luka complained earnestly. “Now I’m the last to say it and it doesn’t mean as much.”
Ignoring his brother’s comment, Alek asked Evan directly, “So, you’ll join us? You’ll move in?”
“Of course I will,” Evan answered, feeling more bashful by the moment with the amount of heat in the way Alek was looking at him.
“We can move in tomorrow if we want, or start to, at least. The keys will be available in the morning. We’ll need to rent a truck to haul all our stuff over, but this is it. It’s really happening. It’s ours.”
“I’m so excited!” Brennan gushed. Alek leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“I still haven’t said it!” Luka said, bursting with frustration, his hands splayed in the air on either side of his head. “I’m a terrible boyfriend.” This was immediately followed by an oddly strangled noise and a strained expression, complete with bitten lower lip.
With his hand hidden underneath Luka’s napkin, Evan gave Luka’s groin a second rolling squeeze, just like the one that had just gotten him to nearly swallow his tongue, from the sound of it. He was careful not to let anyone else see the movement of his arm.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Evan frowned. “I didn’t quite catch that.”
“What’re you doing?” Brennan asked, then turned to Alek, “What’s he doing?”
Luka curled forward slightly, bracing his arms on the table and slowly turned his head sideways to glare at Evan, who kept kneading Luka’s rapidly stiffening cock.
“Nothing,” Evan smiled innocently, playing dumb.
“There will be consequences,” Luka warned in a slightly breathless voice through gritted teeth.
“Like what? Alek threatened spanking and there was zero follow through,” Evan whispered.
“I’m not Alek. I don’t threaten, I promise. And I promise my hand will connect repeatedly with your bare ass, tonight, before I fuck it into the bed.”
“Maybe I don’t believe you.”
“Maybe we need to get the check.”
“We haven’t even eaten yet!” Brennan pointed out.
Luka grabbed Evan’s hand to still it, then drew it out from under the napkin, wove their fingers together and held him in a vise-like grip.
Evan could only smile. In fact, he couldn’t stop, especially given the expression on Luka’s face.
“You still haven’t said it, you know,” Evan pointed out, stifling laughter.
“I love you guys, too,” Luka growled.
“Damn,” Brennan murmured, “it sound
s a lot dirtier the way you say it.”
“Evan,” Alek said in a supremely calm tone. “Please keep your hands off of Luka’s dick while we’re in public. That’s something else we need to discuss, for the future. The rules.”
“We’re talking sex rules, aren’t we?” Brennan asked. “Awesome. Oh, look! Here comes our food.”
While the waitress set out their plates, Luka continued to give Evan a sidelong, heated glare filled with plenty of dark intentions. It only served to make Evan’s dick as hard as he’d made Luka’s, which was only fair, considering. Soon, Evan was hunched forward over his plate, just to hide his tented pants, but Luka noticed and managed to get his hand in a similar arrangement as Evan had.
With the first squeeze, Evan only grew still and made an effort not to drop his fork. When the second squeeze lingered, constricting the head of his cock, Evan couldn’t hold in a soft grunt, his face growing red, fast.
“Luka, seriously?” Alek scolded. “Save it for home. Official rule number one: All hands above the table when we go out to dinner so we don’t get blacklisted at restaurants. Lemme see ‘em. Come on.”
“Can I uh, just go use the restroom for a second?” Evan murmured.
“No,” the other three answered in unison.
“I could have had to pee, you know. It’s entirely possible.”
Chapter 28
Letting Go
Back at the house, Evan wanted to stop outside for one last cigarette before going inside with the others.
“Nope. Hand ‘em over,” Alek said, hand held out and waiting. Evan begrudgingly set his pack of cigarettes on it and let Alek confiscate them.
