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by Julia Barrett


  “The hell it is. John Walker…” The man stuck out a hand. “I own a pawn shop just down the road.”

  Lucas wiped his palm on his jeans before he gripped the man’s extended hand. “Lucas Jennings.”

  “Well, Lucas Jennings, I’ve seen a lot of gold in my time and that’s the real deal,” said Walker. “Where’d you find it?”

  What the hell was wrong with everyone? It’s a rock for Christ’s sake.

  “I didn’t find it. My mother did.” Lucas shrugged. “This rock seems to be a big conversation piece today.”

  The man raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” He glanced around the bar. “Who’s been asking?”

  “It’s nothing.” Lucas shook his head. He took another drink. “I’m the new manager out at the Triple Creek. Dr. Blake asked me about it.”

  “Sydney Blake?”

  “You know her?”

  “I know her father.” The man sipped his beer. “Seems to me I heard rumors about gold found on the ranch…” He stopped speaking to take a big swallow. “…After that lightning strike.”

  Lucas had his glass raised to his lips. He set it down. Cass’s gold barbed wire.

  “Lightning strike?”

  “Yeah, sure, you must not have been here yet. It was back in February. We had lightning in the middle of a blizzard.” Walker laughed. “Some of the old timers from the Res came into my store. They swore they saw a warrior made of gold ride that lightning bolt down from the clouds. You know how it is, old timers. But the geology department from the university paid a visit to the Triple Creek; sent a crew to check things out. From what I hear, they found gold.”

  Lucas looked the man over from head to toe. He knew Cass Weber hadn’t uttered a word about the gold on the barbed wire. “Now how would you know that?”

  Walker laughed again. “You’d be surprised at the things I hear in my line of work.” He tapped the tip of his nose. “Besides, this nose can smell gold forty miles in any direction.” He finished his beer and tipped his head at the rock. “You ever want that assayed, you come in. Here’s my card.” He fished around in his pocket and set a business card on the table. “Nice meeting you, Mr. Jennings.”

  Before Lucas could say another word, the man had vanished.

  He didn’t waste time wondering where he’d got to, instead Lucas finished his whiskey and set his glass down on the business card, spinning it around until it made a noticeable water ring on the paper. He poured himself a refill.

  “I think I need to get a whole lot drunker than I thought.”

  Stay

  yd climbed into her truck at two a.m., heading out for one more check of the cows. When she’d made her earlier rounds she’d found the final three cows giving birth. She wanted to make sure the babies were up and nursing.

  Parked in the pasture, flashlight on the cows and calves, she breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone seemed healthy. Barring an unexpected delivery, calving season had officially come to an end. Now she needed to finish tagging and then focus on vaccinations, branding and castration, but that wouldn’t happen for another month or so. Syd didn’t want to stress these newborns any more than necessary. Last year she’d lost three babies after branding.

  She stowed her flashlight under the seat and turned the truck around, heading back to the ranch house.

  Where the hell is he?

  Why couldn’t she learn to shut up? She’d had him right where she wanted him, in her bed, loving her. Why did she have to go and open her big mouth and chase him off?

  “Because what he is and what he was sits between us like the Great Wall of China, that’s why. I can feel Wolf inside Lucas. He’s like a word on the tip of my tongue. I know what I want to say but the word eludes me. That’s Wolf. He’s there, but he’s elusive. Trying to get him out is driving me insane.”

  She stopped in front of the house. There was still no sign of him.

  It grabbed her, his absence. Grabbed her and shook her. His absence was cruel.

  She needed Lucas for many reasons. Loving him was only the tip of the iceberg. She’d always done everything herself, taken pride in her independence, but she’d come to realize it wasn’t easy for a pregnant woman to haul herself out of bed and check on the cows in the middle of the night. Oh, she could ask Ryan or Chuck to do the job, but the two ranch hands were older. Her father had hired the men years ago. They worked hard, but Syd didn’t trust them to be on top of their game if they were sleep deprived.

  Lucas was the man she wanted working by her side.

  Syd wondered if she should take a peek in the bunk house; see if he’d returned while she was away. It might be he’d packed up his things and run.

  Syd’s stomach turned at the thought. Every single day she lived with the fear Lucas would check out of her life and vanish forever, leave her all over again.

  Unable to make up her mind, she stood in the roadway and stared at his dark cabin for a long time. At last she shook her head. No. She would have seen his headlights.

  Just to be on the safe side, she walked toward the pasture. His horse was still there. Bodacious stood close beside Delia, she could make out their profiles in the dark.

  Syd blew out a big breath, a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. He’d never leave his horse behind. Lucas would be back.

  Headlights approached.

  “Speak of the devil.” She wondered if she should go inside, avoid him at all costs. She didn’t want him to know she’d been pining after him, but it was too late. The truck was already slowing down.

  Syd did a double take. It wasn’t Lucas’s truck. It was Cass’s.

  She clutched her chest, feeling her heart pound beneath her palm. There was no good reason for Cass to drive out here this time of night. The only reasons were bad reasons.

  Numb, Syd watched Cass climb out the driver’s side of his pickup.

  He stood in the glare of his headlights. It was impossible to make out his expression.

  “You gonna help me or what?”

  “Help you?” Her voice shook.

  Cass stepped out of the lights and walked over to her. He must have caught the look of terror on her face because he said, “It’s all right, Syd, he’s not dead, just dead drunk. When he started speaking in tongues and wielding a pool cue like a sword, the bartender got a little concerned. I decided I’d better handle it myself, you know, just in case something weird happened.”

  “Oh my god,” Syd lurched toward her friend. “I thought the worst. I thought…” She burst into tears.

  Cass put an arm around her. He patted her shoulder. “Believe it or not if that had been the case I would have waited until morning.”

  “This is nothing to joke about, Cass.” She sniffed, swiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand. “He’s vanished before.”

  “I know that as well as you, Syd, but right now I want him out of my truck. That bottle of cheap whiskey is going to hit him any minute and I just had my truck detailed. Apparently a god can’t hold his liquor any better than a human can.”

  Cass’s words stopped her tears. She grinned. A god who couldn’t hold his liquor… Cass was right, it was kind of funny.

  “Where do you want him?”

  “Am I going to get a lecture if I say my bed?”

  Cass was silent for a moment. At last he said, “Nope.”

  “All right, let’s do this.”

  Syd strode to the truck and opened the passenger door. Lucas lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes half-open.

  “Hey,” he said.

  She smiled. “Hey, yourself.”

  “I’m drunk.”

  Syd waved at the strong smell of whiskey. “Really? I’d never have guessed.”

  He lifted his arm and swung it around, just missing her chest. “He brought me home.”

  “I know, Lucas. Let’s get you to bed.”

  “Wolf,” he muttered. “My name is Wolf and I rode to earth on a lightning bolt.”

  “What did you say?” S
yd and Cass exchanged glances.

  Lucas clutched both their arms and hauled himself up onto wobbly legs. “I rode Bodacious…” He stumbled as the two half-dragged him along the path to the house. Syd and Cass both tightened their grip on him. “I rode my horse down to earth on a lightning bolt. Now that’s funny.” Lucas made an effort to stand straight. “Where’s the gold?”

  He slurred his words, but Syd heard him clear as a bell. “Uh, what gold are you talking about? Do you mean the pendant?”

  Lucas shook his head. “That gold.” He pressed a finger against Cass’s chest. Before either could reply, his head slumped forward. “I don’t feel so good,” Lucas said. “Put me to bed.”

  Cass snorted. “Yes, your majesty. C’mon, Syd, let’s do what the man says.”

  Lucas stumbled into the kitchen, more dead than alive. He raised a hand to shade his eyes from the sunlight pouring in through the picture window. He licked his dry lips. Damn. His mouth tasted the way a garbage truck smelled. “Coffee.”

  “Well, and a good morning to you too.”

  Lucas winced at the sound of the sheriff’s voice. His head pounded. “Can you keep the volume down?” He carefully lowered himself into a chair.

  “Here.” The sheriff placed a steaming cup before him. “I made you some dry toast. Oughta help soak up some of that morning-after regret.” He set a plate down on the table.

  “Thanks.” Lucas sipped the black coffee and chewed on the toast. It helped a little. He ventured a cautious glance at the man sitting across from him.

  “Where’s Syd?”

  “She went off with Chuck and Ryan to tag the last of the calves. Three more dropped their babies in the middle of the night while you were…” The sheriff cleared his throat for emphasis. “Busy.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry about that.” Lucas rubbed his temples. “Why are you here?”

  “I brought you home,” said the sheriff. “I didn’t want to leave Syd alone to take care of you and the cows.”

  “Where’s my truck?”

  “In town where you left it; parked behind the Rodeo Bar and Grill. You don’t remember anything, do you?”

  Lucas shook his head, trying to keep the motion as smooth as possible.

  “I bet you remember why, though.”

  Lucas refused to look up. “What are you talking about?”

  “Why you decided to tie one on. I’m guessing you remember the reason.”

  Lucas lifted the mug of coffee to his lips, inhaling the steam as he sipped at it. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, sheriff.”

  “Wouldn’t have something to do with this, would it?” The sheriff dropped the gold pendant in front of him.

  Lucas hurried to set his mug down; worried he might tip it and scald himself. “Where’d you get that?”

  “Fell out of your pocket when I undressed you and shoved you into bed earlier this morning.”

  “Not this again. It’s nothing.”

  “I hear that’s what you told Syd,” Cass said. “The gold isn’t nothing, Lucas, it’s a hell of a lot more than nothing. You saw the stuff I stashed in the tack room.”

  Lucas closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He was very tired of fighting. This conversation always led in one direction, straight to Wolf. “You know Sheriff, I’m not sure I give a damn about the gold, about you, about any of this.”

  “Are you saying you don’t care about Syd?”

  He slammed his fist on the table, ignoring the increasing pain in his head. “I’m not saying that. Syd is something… She’s something special. I’m telling you I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hearing about Wolf. I’m tired of seeing his face when I look in the mirror. I’m tired of…”

  The sheriff interrupted him. “What did you say?”

  “I said I’m tired of hearing about him.”

  “No, you said you’re tired of seeing his face when you look in the mirror.”

  “No,” Lucas shook his head. “I sure as hell did not.”

  “You sure as hell did.” Sheriff rose to his feet. “Do you recall what you asked me this morning?”

  “What?”

  “What you asked me when I hauled your ass out of my truck.”

  “I didn’t ask you a bloody thing.” Lucas shoved his hair out of his eyes.

  “I thought you didn’t remember last night?”

  “Fuck this. I’m sick of your riddles.” Lucas rose from his chair as well, hangover be damned. “If you have something to say, say it. Spit it out.”

  Instead of answering, the sheriff began to unbutton his shirt. Lucas’s mouth dropped open. What the hell did the man think he was doing?

  Cass said, “Only four people know about this, Lucas‌—‌I know about it. Syd knows about it because she saw the whole thing, my wife knows about it because I had to tell her, and the person who saved my life knows about it. That would be Wolf. He’s the only other person who knows about this. This morning you asked me about this gold and you poked me, right here.”

  The man opened his shirt and Lucas stared, stunned. Hangover forgotten, Lucas reached a hand out as if to brush away the gold from the sheriff’s chest, but he stopped just short of touching him. The sheriff turned around and showed him his back. Just to the left of his spine was an even larger patch of skin, the color of gold. The area shimmered in the morning light.

  Time and space reeled away and Lucas found himself standing outside his body, watching the scene before him. It was night, winter, and the sheriff lay in the snow, his life’s blood ebbing away from a gunshot wound. It was Wolf who pressed his hands on the dying man but Lucas felt the hot blood ooze through his own fingers. It was Wolf Syd spoke to, but Lucas heard her speaking to him. She begged him to do something, pleaded with him to save the sheriff’s life.

  In that moment his heart broke.

  He could save Cass Weber, but to do so he’s have to resume his real form. He’d forfeit the one thing he’d wanted more than immortality‌—‌to live a real life, to love a real woman.

  But he did it. He did it for Syd and for the sheriff and because he had no choice. It was in his nature to preserve life.

  Wolf spoke to Sydney Blake, but Lucas recognized his own voice. I would have loved you for all eternity.

  Who was he? No, that was the wrong question. What in god’s name was he?

  Syd leaned out the window of her truck to clip the last ear tag on the last calf. Chuck and Ryan grabbed their sticks and climbed into the mule.

  “You can head back,” Syd called. “I want to wait until they mother up.” The two men waved to her as they turned the little vehicle around and headed back to the barn.

  Syd wiggled around in the driver’s seat, trying to get comfortable. She needed a good stretch, a long hot shower and a nap, but not just yet. The herd came first.

  Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to face Lucas. It was her fault he’d drunk enough whiskey to kill a horse.

  Apparently supernatural beings could tolerate a whole lot of liquor.

  “Shut up, Syd. He’s not a supernatural being, he’s a cowboy. Stop trying to make him into someone he’s not.”

  Syd pulled the elastic band from her hair and shook out her ponytail. She knew she had to go back to the house sooner or later to face the music, but for the moment she allowed herself to watch and listen. The way the mothers called to their babies always made her smile. Every cow knew her calf and every calf knew her mother.

  The bawling soothed her. She doubted anyone who had grown up in the city would find a noisy herd of cows so comforting, but their lowing had always put her to sleep.

  She hoped she’d be half the mother her cows were. Syd closed her eyes and folded her hands across her abdomen, fingers caressing her unborn child. She knew it would be hard work, to be a good doctor, a good rancher, and a good mother. And right now she was so very sleepy.

  “Sydney.”

  “Hmmm?”

  “Sydney Blake, wake up.”

  S
he bolted upright at the sound of his voice. Lucas stood there, right next to the window. Without another word he opened the door of the cab, used the bulk of his long, hard body to keep her still, and he kissed her. He put his heart and soul into that kiss, as if she were his salvation, his personal life-giving manna from heaven.

  He kissed her as if this was the last kiss they’d share for all eternity.

  Syd nearly fainted when he let her go. She knew he was saying goodbye.

  “Don’t go,” she said. She tilted her head back, searching his eyes. They blazed with raw, savage need and not a little fear. He was afraid of her.

  Syd knew she should cry, a woman should cry when her man leaves her. She tried to will the tears to come, but her eyes remained dry and dusty and dull with pain. “Please, don’t go,” she repeated.

  “I don’t have a choice,” he said.

  “There’s always a choice.”

  He slid his hands through her hair, cupping the sides of her head. His voice was rough. The anguish she heard touched her soul. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I need time to figure it out. I need time away from you.”

  His words hit her like a slap across the face, and now the tears flowed. Lucas tried to kiss them away, but it was too late. He couldn’t take the words back. All the emotion she’d reined in for months poured out in one fell swoop. Syd fell against Lucas, her body wracked with sobs.

  He held onto her. She let him hold her. It didn’t matter anymore who or what he was. Lucas or Wolf, Syd didn’t care. He was leaving again. That was the only thing that mattered.

  When she quieted at last, he said, “What I mean is…” He brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t sort this out when I’m this close to you, Syd. You overwhelm me. When I’m awake you’re with me. When I’m asleep, you invade my dreams. You live in here.” He thumped his chest. “And I can’t get you out.”

  She could only manage a whisper. “Do you want me out?”

  He gave her the barest hint of a smile. “No, never. But until I understand what I am, what happened to me, I can’t stay here. I can’t think clearly in your presence. A man can’t be two people at the same time. I need some space to wrap my brain around this.” He lifted her chin. “Syd, I’m a cowboy. I don’t believe in this crap. But…”

 

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