Leo turned to me with pure joy lighting his face. “Tanny says I’m not crazy, sis.”
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him close. “I’m so happy for you.”
“It will take him years to control and perfect his talents.” Asteran stood with a prince’s elegance, his stomach firm and his shoulders back. The color had returned to his face, and he breathed normally, if not a little slowly for a human. “I am certain realizing his potential is within his capacity.”
I squeezed Leo’s shoulder. “We’ll just have to zip our lips until the right time.”
“You may want to keep it secret forever.” Nova glanced at us with guarded eyes. “Who knows if Crophaven would see it as a threat?”
“You’re right. He fears anything that could possibly harm the colony, or anything he can’t control.”
Asteran shook his head. “Your kind may be more resourceful, but you have much to learn.”
“I never said we knew it all.” Weariness from all the stress had finally caught up to me. I released my hold on my brother and leaned against the wall, letting my head roll to my shoulder. Even though there was a silver lining to Leo’s situation, the universe had stacked so much against us.
“Although Crophaven likes to think he does.” Nova grinned.
Asteran’s lips curled in amusement as his gaze wandered to me. Concern flashed in his eyes. “We must rest. We’ll reach Priavenus in twelve hours, and we’ll need our energy to find the crystals.”
“You don’t know where they are?” Nova tied her long, auburn hair in a knot at the back of her head. Even then, she had a glossy shine my frizzy curls would never have.
Asteran’s face fell somber. “Priavenus is in ruin. When I left, our cities had burned to the ground, spreading flames to all the surrounding forests. The amount of ash in the atmosphere blotted our sun and will continue to do so for decades. No life can survive.”
Leo covered his face with his palm. “Sounds like a great place.”
“So how are we going to find them?” Nova couldn’t shake her on-task attitude. At times, I found it annoying, but in this case, she asked questions I didn’t have the courage to ask.
Asteran brought up his star system on the red orb. His planet had grown to the size of my fist, in a dark smear of black and gray with bright red spots leaking trails of blood, like someone had shot it with a laser. Underneath the lighter patches, ridges showed where mountains poked through most of the haze.
He magnified the planet, bringing up a patch of slate gray that could have been an ocean or a forest. “Before I left, the village elders hid the remaining crystals deep within the woods with the last of the survivors, to keep safe. They were all we had left of our once-bright world.”
My heart broke into a thousand pieces. That was about the saddest story I’d ever heard.
Nova didn’t bat an eyelash. “If the survivors are still alive, will they give these crystals to you?”
Asteran sighed. “I don’t think anyone is still alive.”
Nova stepped toward him. “But if they are...”
He blinked and dropped his gaze to the floor. “We’ll have to ask permission.”
“Great.” Leo threw his hands up in the air. “As if our lives weren’t hard enough.”
“Come on.” I took my brother’s arm, trying to soothe him. Even though Asteran had just brought him out of his trance, I didn’t want him falling into another one so soon. “We’ve all had a long day. Let’s find a place to rest.” I looked back to Asteran. “One of us can keep watch if you need to rest.”
He shook his head. “I’m used to meditating on a two-day cycle.”
Whatever that meant. “Oh, okay.”
I turned to Nova. “What about Tauren?”
Nova shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to take shifts watching him.”
Asteran interrupted. “Bring him here. I’ll watch him and the orb.”
Although I balked at the thought of leaving those two alone together, we all needed rest. Nova had said he’d be out for a whole day, so chances were Asteran would just have to stare at Tauren’s dull, snoring face.
Leo complained of a headache due to his earlier run-in with Tauren’s boot. So it took all three of us to carry Tauren into the control room. Leo held under his arms while Nova held his feet. I had the unlucky part of bracing his back. I’d never touched him so intimately before, and my skin crawled as his bulky form pressed against my arms. How the computer ever thought we’d get together was beyond me. I began to understand why the New Dawn had a history of ship jumpers, people who escaped to brave it out alone in the corners of the galaxy.
Aries Ryder came to mind. Unhappy with her pairing with the former Commander Barliss, she’d left with a band of space pirates. If I’d have been in her shoes, I would have done the same.
“Here’s your company,” Leo announced as we dropped Tauren beside the crystal at the room’s center. “Although I don’t think he’ll be much of a talker.”
Asteran nodded. “I’ll make sure his bindings hold.”
Nova wiped her sweaty hands on her pant legs. “If he wakes up, just call for us.”
Astern nodded, then glanced at me. “Rest well.”
I knew he meant it for all of us, but my cheeks burned as though he’d said it only to me.
I wanted to stay behind to explain how Tauren and I were in no way truly connected, but Leo needed me. Sending everyone else off to speak privately with Asteran would cast him in even greater suspicion. They already didn’t trust him. Besides, Leo couldn’t know about my feelings for Asteran, or I’d never hear the end of it.
The whole situation stank like Leo’s workout sneakers. Asteran would have to stare at the face of my destined lover the whole night, while I slept in another room, dreaming of him. Could I ever tell him how I felt? Even if I did, would he ever be able to rise above all of the trauma he’d been through? Maybe I was making too much out of nothing. Maybe I was a fool.
Nova led Leo and me to a small alcove with a pool of water in the center. “This water is suitable for consumption.”
Leo held up both hands. “Not for me. I’m not drinking any bug water.”
“Fine. Don’t come complaining to me when your water bottle runs out.” Nova laid her backpack down and propped her head on it like a pillow.
Leo opened his bag and checked his half-full water bottle. He glanced skeptically at the pool. “How do you know it won’t turn me into an arachnid?”
Nova sighed and closed her eyes. “During the last mission, Sirius and I had no supplies, and we drank from it.”
“Yeah, but that was a long time ago, and all it’s been doing is sitting in this metal ship under the sun...” Leo pointed to the ceiling.
“Use your filter to screen it.” Nova pointed toward his standard-issue bottle. “When I drank from it, we didn’t even have a filter. We had to take our chances.”
“Yuck.” Leo scanned her up and down. “Although you don’t look affected.”
Nova turned over on her side with her back to us. “I can assure you I’m fine. Now, if you’ll allow me to sleep, maybe we can actually accomplish something.”
Leo made a sour face and pretended to be Nova by whispering, “Blah blah blah blah.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Having him around did lighten the mood.
We set up our bags back to back, so our heads met in the center. We’d done it before while camping out in the biodome on a field trip. Leo had kept me up all night with scary stories, and I’d giggled the entire time.
Tonight was worlds different than fifth grade. The gravity of the mission felt heavy on my chest, weighing my rib cage down so it was hard to breathe. I was glad to have my brother here.
“Hey, sis, can I ask you something?”
My heart skidded. Was he going to ask about Asteran? “I guess. Depends on what it is.”
Silence fell, and I wondered if he’d given up. He gave a quick intake of breath. “You’re n
ot going to go through with it, are you?”
“Go through with what?” The mission? Of course we were finishing that. We had no choice.
His answer came out of the blue, ramming me like a transport ship. “Your pairing with Tauren. No offense, but I don’t want a space brain for a brother-in-law.”
“Of course not.” I was careful not to bother Nova. “I’m just waiting for the right time to break it off.”
“The right time? Geez, sis.”
“What?” I covered my eyes. Sometimes I wanted to shake some sense into him.
Leo sighed so loudly I was afraid he’d wake up Nova. “The right time is now.”
Chapter Seventeen
Hesitation
Shadows crawled under my pillow and across the underside of the lid to my sleep pod. Gentle tickles on my thighs made me kick and writhe to get them off. My sleep pod was squirming with leggy black dots. Wispy webs drooped in the corners. The bugs started to tangle in my hair and fall into my eyes. I clawed at my skin and tried to pry them off.
I woke up with so much force, I sat straight up, wiping my face and neck. I threw my backpack across the room and slapped my palms over the metal floor where it had been.
Nothing was there. I checked my shirt and pants and ran my hands through my hair. The dream had felt so real, I still had the squirmy-creepy feeling some little spider hid where I didn’t want it to.
Leo and Nova slept soundly, their breathing rotating from one to another and back again. How long had I been asleep? I checked my wrist locator. Then I remembered the crystals on the ship blocked the signals.
After a nightmare like that, I wouldn’t be able to sleep for a week. My stomach growled, and I walked across the room for my backpack. I unzipped the front pocket to reveal a main course of weapons.
Asteran had the one with the food.
An idea zapped through my head like lightning in a storm. This would be the perfect time to speak with him without the others listening. I checked to make sure Leo and Nova weren’t waking up any time soon, then I jogged to the control room.
My heart rammed in my chest and blood pounded in my ears. Why did he have such an effect on me? He wasn’t just another guy. He was an alien from a different world, and a hot one at that. He’d given my brother something to hope for and had offered his help to save my people. He was so perfect. I feared what I didn’t know about him. Everyone had flaws.
The red orbs still lit the control room. Asteran stood at the center orb, staring at his home planet like a puzzle he’d never be able to solve. Tauren snored at the opposite end, curled up in a ball. Even though I walked silently, Asteran’s head turned at my approach.
His face brightened with interest. “Lyra, is everything all right?”
“Yeah. I just had a nightmare and can’t sleep.” I stood by the opening to the tunnel, not wanting to be too pushy.
“I hope it wasn’t too awful.”
Nothing I’d ever seen would be as awful as what had happened to him. “Nah. Just a creepy bug dream.”
“Come in and stand in the glow. It will lighten your spirit.”
I walked to the room’s center and stood beside him. “Are you hungry? I thought maybe we could eat something. I have food in the pack I gave you.”
“Of course. That would be lovely.” He reached down for the bag and gestured toward the far wall.
I sat, every centimeter of my skin ultra-aware of his presence. Asteran sat a hand’s width away from me and handed me my backpack. I unzipped the front pocket and dug out the soywafer bars. “Don’t judge by the boring wrapper. They’re really good.”
“Anything to eat would be much appreciated.”
I handed him two. I tore open the silver lining on mine, trying to summon the courage to talk of Tauren. This is what you wanted, girl. Go for it.
I took a deep breath, staring at the unbroken meal bar in my hands. “I’m sorry about what Tauren said about your people.”
Asteran took a bite of his soywafer and waved his hand. “It’s no matter. You can’t account for the thoughts of others.”
I glanced over. Even though his words were light, his mouth curved down and he looked away, staring at Tauren’s back with a sour expression. He looked younger than I originally thought, like when a guy is first learning to take responsibility and be a man. His cheeks were still clean, without stubble. Did his people even grow facial hair?
“I’m going to call off my pairing with Tauren.”
He blinked as surprise flashed through his eyes. He turned to me. “Why?”
There were too many reasons to name: Tauren was too serious for me, I wasn’t attracted to him, we didn’t get along, he was rude to my brother, and oh yeah—I had feelings for someone else. I couldn’t possibly tell him the last reason.
Another underlying issue came to the forefront. “I want to choose for myself.” I studied Asteran’s response, hoping to gain even a fraction of understanding of how he felt about me.
“Interesting.” Asteran rubbed his chin, telling me nothing. His eyes were blank, staring ahead like he didn’t care.
I leaned toward him, catching a closer look. The corners of his mouth had curved up slightly. Maybe he hid his true feelings.
I pretended not to notice and played along, biting into my soywafer. “It’s just that I keep procrastinating. He’s a little bit of a blowhard, as you’ve seen, and I’m afraid what he’ll do.”
“What can he do?” Asteran turned to me with sincere fear in his features.
I shrugged. “According to the late commander, Tauren can’t do a thing.”
Was that hope flashing in his eyes? Or just relief? “Then you should go through with it as soon as possible, Lyra.”
Like I hadn’t heard that before. I sighed. “I know. I’m building up the courage.”
“Just don’t wait too long.” His gaze returned to the globe within the orb. “That was my mistake.”
I almost choked on my soywafer. What? Hold on a second. Did he just say he’d made a mistake in love?
A darker thought surpassed the others. Maybe this was the flaw I’d been worried about. Logic told me to not probe into his personal backstory on such an important mission, but every nerve tingled with curiosity. I had to know. Something he’d said in our first meeting tugged at my memory.
I grew bold. “Lavisha?”
Asteran pulled back and stared at me with astonishment. “How do you know of her?”
Embarrassment heated my cheeks. “That’s what you called me when you first saw me.”
“The room was dark, and I was disoriented.”
I swallowed a hard lump and forced my next words. “Do I look like her?”
Asteran trailed a finger down my cheek. “You remind me of her, yes.”
I thought back to his ruined planet. Was she still alive? Was he trying to get back to her? Jealousy made my heart bleed. “What happened?”
“She was the female I’d chosen to bond with, but I never told her. I only watched from afar. We were both young. I’m considered sixteen in your years. I thought I had all the time in the world.”
Sixteen? That was one and a half years younger than me. Here I thought he was like twenty-five or something.
Asteran’s head dropped and he stared at his feet. “The arachnids took her soon after they landed. Before I could summon the courage to tell her how I felt, she was gone.”
My soul ached for him. “I’m so sorry.” How could I ever measure up to that? Asteran was more broken that I’d originally thought. I hadn’t been sure I could heal him before, but now it would be almost impossible. All I could do was sit beside him and experience his sadness along with him, hoping that between the two of us, it spread thinner.
“It was my mistake, not yours.” He crinkled the empty wrapper in his hand. “I just don’t want you to make the same mistake and wait too long to do what you have to do. You can’t count on tomorrow to do it for you.”
What happened if an asteroid hi
t our ship and we all died in the next moment? There were a hundred loose ends I’d leave open. Asteran was right. I couldn’t live in the prison I’d constructed around myself any longer. I had to break free.
“I’m not very consoling after your nightmare.” Asteran brought up his knees and spread his arms across them, slumping over. It was the first time I’d seen him so self-deprecating and vulnerable. He almost reminded me of Leo, drawing me closer to him.
I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. His lips looked as soft as velvet. “No, you’re perfect.”
I sat with my arm around him for so long, the place where we touched grew warm and tingly. I drank in his misty, manly scent, wanting to sit like that forever, but a light flashed from the orb.
Asteran leaped up, and my nerves jump-started.
“What is it?”
He ran over and studied the orb. “It’s Priavenus. We’re almost there.”
Chapter Eighteen
Eyesore
Adrenaline rushed through my legs as I ran to wake the others. Everything that Asteran and I had talked about still swirled in my mind. I forced myself to store all those personal thoughts for a later date. We had a world to save.
The pool glistened in the stream of a beacon light as I ran into the room. Leo and Nova lay where I’d left them. Nova had turned on her other side, and her auburn hair streamed over her shoulder in a silken blanket. Leo had sprawled onto his back, and drool dribbled down his chin. I ran to Leo first and shook his shoulder, trying not to look at the drool. Thank the Guide for self-cleaning sleep pods. “Wake up, space brain.”
He peered at me through heavy-lidded eyes. His voice was groggy. “I thought you told me no name-calling on the ship.”
“You can’t call me names. I can call you whatever I want.” I left him to ponder that while I approached Nova. Since I didn’t know her as well as my brother, I touched her arm more gently. “Nova, it’s time.”
She stirred and stretched her long legs. “What?”
“We’re close to Priavenus. We have to get ready.”
“Really? I slept the whole time?” Nova frowned as though she’d neglected her duty.
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