Scratch that, I ruined my second chance with her. I’m a fucking lucky bastard she’s still finding chances to give me.
I reach out, pushing back a few strands of her hair that brush against her temple before falling across her face. She moves beneath my touch, but I notice the smallest of smiles begin to pull on her lips. I never thought I’d be the type of man to watch a girl sleep and fall further in love with her, but I don’t loathe embracing it.
Forcefully, I realized that in the chaos, the beginning of her was the ending of me.
While Ryleigh embraces this life, I become well aware of the warfare she’s entering. From this day forth, Ryleigh is precious cargo – more so than I ever thought she was. While at my side, I fight for us both. I protect her life with my own, but I know in losing my life, she’ll lose hers. We’re so fiercely bound, so incomprehensibly united, that I fear a life without her in it, and I know she fears the same.
If this is what being in love is all about, then I reckon I could become pretty fucking good at it.
Love derives from the darkest of places, I now realize. It thrives in those recesses so full of poison and malice waiting to take over and penetrates your life with that bright, blinding light you've been waiting for all your life.
Love is the first piece of grace you'll ever receive and never release.
It’s what will see me through this plight. I will fight those I need and I will give Ryleigh everything she deserves. I know we’ll see hell on earth first – it’s something I caused, something I wanted to happen. But sometimes, hell's fires can be just as beautifully breathtaking as that moment you lay eyes on your soul mate.
Seeing as I did that already, I think I can handle a little hellish activity to get to what I want.
I settle my gaze on her as she moves again. A hand comes up to touch her face, rubbing her eyes to rid the sleep, but no sooner does she move it are those bright blue eyes looking up at me.
“Morning,” she whispers, her voice feather light yet thick with sleep.
“Morning.”
She squints at me, questioning my apparent bright disposition. “How long have you been awake?”
“A while,” I tell her, smirking. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Any reason?” she asks, curling up onto her side, sleepily. “Because I slept pretty damn well.”
“That’s because you had someone watching over you,” I tease, eliciting a giggle from her. “In all honesty, I’m a little disbelieving this is happening.”
“Why?” she asks, forcing a wide-eyed stare on me. She sits up a little, resting on her elbow. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ve fucked up before,” I utter, looking away from her. “I’ll fuck up again.”
“Not where I’m concerned, you won’t,” she tells me. “Plus, I know I can get you on your knees for forgiveness with one swift kick to your balls.”
“Don’t,” I say, wincing. “I think they’re only just falling back into place now.”
She giggles, sitting up fully now. Slowly her hand comes to rest on my cheek; my eyes can’t look anywhere else but at her. She watches me for a moment with parted lips, but no words leave them yet.
“I’m not scared of you, Dante,” she whispers, gradually imprinting those words to memory. “You do something wrong, and I will tell you. There is a lot we still have to make up for, but for now, let’s just enjoy the calm before the storm.”
“Okay,” I agree, relenting quickly. “I want to take a shower then I’m going to make you breakfast. You good to stay in bed?”
“Mmm, I really want some coffee,” she murmurs. “Am I allowed to do that or do you want to be full on chivalrous for me?”
“Chivalrous men don’t have the constant need to fuck you dirty while the bacon fries, do they?” I ask, cocking a brow as a sanctimonious little smirk works its way to my face. “I’m anything but courteous, cara, but I’ll do anything for a quick fuck.”
I know I’m trying my luck, but the way my cock aches for her is insane. I feel like I’m becoming a fucking teenage boy greeted by the most beautiful woman ever – and that’s happened to me before, but this doesn’t come anywhere near fucking close. Ryleigh makes me hard as fuck. I’ll sing like an angel and sin like the devil for just one touch of her body.
“I told you, you’re not getting back in my panties,” she tells me, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. “You’ve got a hand, though.” She ends her statement by slapping her palm to my chest. “Won’t feel as good as I do around your cock, but I’m sure you’ll survive.”
“There’s gonna be cum all over the tiles,” I moan, grabbing her as she gets up to leave, but I stop her.
“You have a maid for that issue, right?”
“Ryleigh!” I groan, frustration mocking me. “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry before you forgive me?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” she tells me, alerting me with a wistful tune. She has every right not to give in to me so easily, but it doesn’t stop a desperate man from begging. “You are not getting it easy after all the shit you’ve put me through. You’re gonna have to grovel more than you have.”
“You’ll be the death of me, woman!”
She smirks, finally getting up off the bed. “No better way to go.”
As I watch her waltz from the bedroom in nothing but her sheer panties and a black top, I fall onto the sheets. When I pulled Ryleigh from her almost oblivious existence, our chemistry sizzled. We were drawn to one another with cataclysmic orgasms and devilish intents, but now we’ve crossed a line. I don’t need to be just physical anymore in order to keep her here with me and not lose her. Likewise, there is no way I would ever leave her for not wanting such a physical bond.
Because I won’t.
No way in hell will I give up on Ryleigh for withholding sex. I have a lot of her trust to regain and a lot more to learn. I hurt her and it’s time she punished me as I had her. All’s fair in love and war and while we mingle both, I have to take one for the team and not push her.
Getting up, I trudge into the bathroom and prepare for a lonely shower where all I imagine is taking my girl against the tiles before I fuck her senseless.
***
“Breakfast!” I say, coming out into the main part of my apartment, clapping my hands together. “I’m thinking the entire works?”
I walk straight past Ryleigh, going directly for the coffee pot. I grab the mug she’s left me and fill it up but find it strange that Ryleigh has yet to reply to me. Setting my coffee down, I leave the kitchen and retrace my steps.
“Ryleigh?”
She looks up but doesn’t speak. She watches me as a melody of tears trail down her cheeks, each holding their own note to her sorrow. Something had to have happened between me getting in the shower and walking out here, and I panic at what it could be.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, that sweet tone so thick and heavy.
“You’re sorry?” I ask her, the thought sounding almost ludicrous to me. “Why the hell...”
“I lied to you about the file and everything I knew,” she confesses as I move to sit on the coffee table before her. “And my excuses for doing so aren’t exactly amazing.”
“I’m not the easiest man to approach.” I watch her for a moment as she starts to wipe her tears away. I want nothing more than to do it for her, but we have to clear the air completely. Clearly, in the morning wake, the multitude of everything has imploded. “My actions afterward weren’t exactly honorable. You shouldn’t have forgiven me so freely.”
“I haven’t,” she quips, giving me a wry smirk. “You’ve gotta grovel a little more than you have.”
“And I will, but after we’ve cleared the air entirely.”
“You know,” she says, taking a moment to even her breathing. “I found out after I met you, after we started everything. I never wanted to hold it against you, and I tried, but then I thought that maybe you wouldn’t want to be with me if I told you. I mean, I’l
l be a reminder of your past, of what happened to your family. I thought you’d hate me for being another one of your grandfather’s games. So I hid it and tried to forget I knew.” She shakes her head, evidently trying to console herself over her actions. “It just meant that I had a little extra time with you.”
“I’m a reminder of yours, too,” I tell her; but I don’t tell her the thought haunts me. “But we have all the time in the world now.”
“I just need to know one thing,” she asks, her gaze becoming hooded. “Why did you hate me so much?”
I feel dismay consume me.
“Because I was a stupid man,” I admit, putting my head in my hands. “At first, after I saw the file, I thought you were using me. It was the only way you were ever going to get to my grandfather. When I saw that file, I saw red and thought that just maybe, possibly, you were with me as a way to get to Marcello. But I saw all your notes, the ones about asking me about him and including me and I realized that your plan never involved me until after we met.”
“I had no idea who you were,” she tells me, utterly innocent. “I had an inkling when I heard you were part of the Valens, and Derek, my PI, mentioned that name when telling me what actually happened in my past.”
“I’m paying that guy off as soon as I can so he won’t be bothering you anymore. You don’t need him to dig for anything; you have your firsthand source with me.” I’m dead serious that she no longer needs him; she has me, and I won’t have her in debt to any man. “I always wondered about the girl who survived. I never thought she’d quite take my life by storm.”
She grins at me, blushing some.
“Funny how fate likes to play games,” she says, unable to meet my gaze.
“What else is bugging you?”
She looks up, her breath hitching in her chest. “I am in no way worthy to be by your side. I’m a pole dancer, for Christ’s sake. The heir to fucking royalty like the Valens can’t fall for a pole dancer.”
“I think he already did,” I state, my voice grousing at her comment.
“I’m just a whore,” she whispers, using my word for her at me.
I close my eyes; the pain that word hits me with is one I endure.
“I stood by the fact you aren’t in my eyes until yesterday, and it’s another thing I hate myself for. You have fought against that stigma for so long and I threw that word at you. You are not a whore because that implies you sleep around and I know that Jackson makes sure that only happens off premises and off work hours.”
“I dance for money,” she tries to argue.
“To make a living,” I say, defying her belligerent attitude. “I don’t want to hear any arguments from you over this, Ryleigh. You are never going back there. You won’t ever have to fight to survive anymore. We have one hell of a journey ahead of us, but we’ll do it together. Everything you’ve fought so hard for will be yours,” I tell her, leaning in to make her watch me. I want her eye contact solely on me. “You stick with me, and we'll be far darker, far more beautiful than your little wolf heart could ever believe.”
“Too late,” she says, finally relaxing. “I sold my soul to the most beautiful devil already.”
I feel her hands come to sit on my face. Their warmth burns across my cheeks, but the feel of her lips on mine startles me. Earlier, she gave me a peck good morning, but now she’s giving me herself. She kisses me deeply, tenderly, greedily, effortlessly. She kisses life back into me. Pulling away, our breathing heavy, she presses her forehead to mine, and the next line she whispers stops my heart completely.
“I don’t know much in life, Dante, but I know I was made for you.”
I bring my hand up, placing it on one of hers to hold her in place. She reiterated my words, and I know forgiveness will come with each passing day. It won’t be a fight. For now, I love the comfort of knowing she’s here with me, if for no other reason than to love me and avenge our families. I kiss her again before pulling away, preparing to cook her breakfast.
“So, how long until you forgive me?”
“Not decided,” she replies, leaning over to grab her mug. She watches me, taking a sip of her coffee. “First, I want to know how the hell your own grandfather kills his own.”
I sigh, never having to deal with this issue with such seriousness. Jackson grew up in the family, and he knew all the sordid details of the Valens crime waves, but no one has ever asked. Only because everyone knew better.
“I grew up not knowing the involvement of the Valens in all those murders. It was a pretty heavily guarded secret, but when I was about fifteen, I overheard my grandfather speaking to someone. He said that my family dying was a mistake by his orders.” The idea of it all seems like some lunacy. “I rushed in and demanded the truth, and Marcello was quick to offer it. He told me we were the scapegoats,” I trail off, starting to rub my jaw. “My family died to kill off the heat... except my grandfather never wanted me harmed.” I gulp back against the lump forming in my throat. “I later found out that my father believed my brother, Leo, was meant for the Valens throne and not me. My grandfather never saw Leo as a leader, only me.”
“Your grandfather arranged to have your family killed and you survive so he could groom you?” she asks, piecing it all together. “That’s the bigger game, isn’t it?” she queries, sitting up straighter. “Your end game is killing your grandfather.”
“You’re a fast learner,” I quip, laughing humorlessly. “He destroys every single thing he touches, and when I found out I had been lied to again over the death of my family, it ended me. I pledge to the Valens, but I run my own show.”
“Evidently,” she jests. “And he has no idea?”
“Not that I know of,” I tell her, admitting that with a slight ebb of concern. “Ryleigh, you are the girl the Valens has sought to find for years.”
“I don’t understand how they haven’t found me. I’m not exactly living in the shadows.”
“You disappeared,” I tell her, watching her nod. “Your surname’s not the same.” I watch her look down, but I’m quick to place my hand under her chin and force her to look back up. “If they had known you were Ryleigh Mitchell, you’d have been dead the moment you signed a contract to work with us.”
“I didn’t want to have that name hanging over me forever,” she admits. “So, I went with my mother’s maiden name.”
“Keep it,” I order, a warning in my words. “It’s probably the only thing keeping you alive.”
I watch a worrisome look smother her face. She’s now seeing just how precious her life is and how close to the wire she is playing. One trip and she’s done for. Releasing her chin, I grab onto her face, gently framing it.
“You are safe with me,” I tell her, conviction and honesty dripping from every word. “No one touches you when you’re by my side. Ryleigh Turner, I gave you that ace of hearts out of protection, but also because Valens men only give it to the woman they fall in love with. I was never fully able to disclose that fact to you because I was a coward. They only offer the card to the woman they hand their hearts to. It’s our custom. It’s tradition. All the time you have that, you’re marked by me. Anyone who dares to go against that will feel a wrath worse than death.”
“But what if your grandfather finds out who am I?” she asks, her eyes pooling with tears. “Dante, I’m endangering everything.”
“No, you’re not,” I tell her, denying her concerns. “If anything, you’re giving it fuel. I now understand why you took Shawn’s death in both hands, cara. You’re after the same revenge I am.”
“I was stupid for thinking I could get it.” She looks truly doubtful of everything, but I won’t allow her. “I don’t have the means.”
“You have me. Ryleigh, did you not hear me?” I ask her, praying she’ll shake the desolation. “We’re after the same revenge. I was going to drag you along for the ride while I got it, but now I don’t need to. You want to rule the dark side, so now’s your chance. Now is your opportunity. Stick by me
and we’ll take them all down.”
“Then what?”
“Then we take over the Valens,” I say, greed swamping my voice. “I’m going to take down all of Marcello’s men who had a hand in the murders, avenge every single murder they committed, and then I’m going after my grandfather.”
I watch a resolve start to form in her eyes.
“We have a fight on our hands, but I couldn’t imagine not having you willing by my side. I promise you; after this is all said and done, you will have the life you deserve. I am never leaving your side. It’s just you and me against the world,” I tell her. “Until the end, Ryleigh.”
“Okay,” she says, her voice sounding stronger. “You and me.”
“You and me,” I repeat, reiterating the promise.
***
“I have a question for you,” she asks, sometime later as we finish breakfast.
“What’s that?”
She gives me a perplexed look. “You’ve not called me little wolf lately.”
“I thought I had made that obvious,” I say, beginning to smirk at her. “You’re not my little wolf when you’re my queen.” I lean over, grabbing her hand. “Mia regina,” I repeat the name in Italian. My queen. It’s perfect.
She blushes again, the rosy hue stunning against her complexion.
“I never imagined a day I would find my own queen,” I tell her. “Marcello always said I needed a woman by my side, but I was dubious about the idea. I felt it would hinder things.” I sigh, looking down at our hands. “My life's work is meant for nothing, but he's total destruction. My grandfather is a slaughterer. He kills for a thrill and, for the most part, I'm more like an equalizer.”
I take a moment, rationalizing my explanation. I kill to make sure justice is served, Ryleigh knows this. I will admit it's not an orthodox approach, but I work off some of my anger while building up ready for my swan song – killing my own.
“I wasn't always that way, Ryleigh. Before I righted myself, I used to kill in cold blood. Occasionally, now the urge is just too strong to ignore when someone so much as gives me the wrong look. It's why I did it. Why I showed you my malicious side. I didn't want you to follow me and love me, Ryleigh. I wanted you to run as far from me as possible.”
Trigger (Pericolo #3) Page 25
