by Ella Fields
I was both pleased and immensely disappointed.
For maybe the first time in years, I lost the ability to think of him after Cory and I finished the bottle and went in search of another.
Laughing, we got sidetracked on the way to find Gina and somehow wound up playing pool with a bunch of guys from Ardent Falls University.
Leaning over the table, I racked up the balls. A set of hands landed on my hips, and I squeaked as I was lifted onto the table. “Enough pool,” the blond guy said. “You lose, so now you owe us that dance.”
I didn’t remember making any deals with this curly-haired surfer type, but when the music came on, I climbed to my feet anyway.
“Fern,” Cory said, laughing and grabbing for my ankles. “Get down, you idiot.”
“You should listen to your friend.”
As though the way he’d vanished from my mind, if only for a couple of hours, had summoned him, I looked over to find Jude standing in the arched doorway of the games room.
His jaw was granite, arms crossed over his chest, and those eyes… yeah, he was pissed.
I laughed. “Well, would you look who it is.” I made to reach for the surfer dude, but they were leaving. Even Cory had busied herself with her phone as Jude entered the room.
Stopping below me, he leaned back against the wall.
“What are you doing?” I said, confused as to what just happened.
Maybe I was drunk, or maybe I lacked the information needed to piece this weird as hell puzzle together.
“Waiting,” he said.
I sat down to climb off the table. He was there in an instant, gripping my waist when my foot slipped, and I almost rolled to the ground. “What for? Oh,” I said. “Right, Marnie’s here somewhere.”
As soon as my feet hit the floor, he stepped back and plucked his keys from his pocket with a glance at Cory. She waved him off, gesturing at her phone before leaving the room.
Too late, it dawned that he was apparently not here for Marnie but to take me home.
“Why?” Dumbfounded, I eyed him. In dark jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, he didn’t exactly look as though he was here to party, but I was sure his attire wouldn’t faze anyone.
It most certainly didn’t bother me. He looked good in anything.
“Just follow me.”
It wasn’t until I’d squeezed between partygoers and exited the three-story house that I realized he hadn’t waited for me.
He wouldn’t be seen walking with me.
The sting of that was almost worse than the hurt he’d caused by using one of my fears against me—both private wounds in public places.
Walking down the long drive, I stopped and leaned against a Mercedes near the gates. “I don’t want to go home.”
Jude sighed and turned back, his hands in his pockets. “What do you want then?”
His bland expression broke with silent laughter when I lurched off the car.
“What the fuck?” I stepped back some more as it rocked again, noticing the windows were fogged.
“Come on, Red.” He grabbed my wrist, dragging me after him, but save for whoever was in that car, no one was around to see him touching me. And I highly doubted they even knew we were out here.
“Were they…?”
“What do you think?” He opened the side gate for me, then the door of his waiting Range Rover on the other side. Swallowing, I walked over. Before I climbed in, his hot breath warmed my cheek. “Are you thinking of my lips around your clit?”
I nearly squealed, a shocked laugh erupting. “Well, I am now.”
His head fell back, a burst of laughter flying toward the moon.
How like my fascination to seek me out on such a night. When the moon was so full, the stars didn’t dare shine too bright for they didn’t stand a chance.
I was thankful for the side of the leather seat at my back as I let the sound seep inside my ears and travel to my chest. I’d heard him laugh like that countless times before, but it’d been so long. And to be the one who’d caused the rough melodic sound… “You have a great laugh.”
Sobering, he stared at me, then jerked his head at the car. “In.”
Clipping my seat belt on, I peered around the stark interior, absorbing how clean it was. So clean, as if the car had just left the lot.
Jude started the engine. “You never answered the first question.”
I felt my brows drop as he pulled out onto the road. “What I want?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that without being honest, especially while intoxicated. “I want to stay with you.”
He glanced over at me, too long to be considered safe, then looked back at the road and nodded once.
The quiet became stifling, and the warmth in my limbs began to slowly drip away. My short black dress itched, and the suede ankle boots were too tight around my sore feet.
Knowing it might get a rise out of him, I put the window down and waited.
Jude’s eyes stayed on the road, one hand on the wheel and the other still in his pocket.
Huh.
I reached for the volume dial, the song growing to a level that could reshape a mood.
That did it. His head swung my way, and then he turned it down.
I slumped for all of a moment before he said, “Like this song?” He then turned up the volume by using the button on the steering wheel and “Cute Without the ‘E’” by Taking Back Sunday blared through the speakers.
I didn’t need to answer. My bopping hips and the waving of my arm outside the window did that for me.
Towering trees rolled by, dark enough to make the sky seem bright in comparison. Up the hill we went, rounding the bend to head down the other side to our homes.
The song ended before Jude pulled into his driveway and hit a button I couldn’t see to open the black wrought-iron gates. They appeared more ominous at night as did his giant manor of a house, its arched windows playing peekaboo with the birch and oak trees.
“Your dad’s home,” I said, remembering the glimpse of his Jaguar just the other day.
“Was,” he said, stopping outside the three-car garage and climbing out. “Gone again.”
I immediately felt wretched, saying when he opened my door, “Yet you came to get me.”
“Rhiannon just left,” he said, helping me down.
I was too busy wondering who that was to be surprised by the gentlemanly action.
“Our cook and cleaner and babysitter,” Jude explained. “She stayed back to do some ironing for Dad. She’s paid well.”
“I’ll bet,” I muttered. Wait, if she’d just left… “What time is it?”
I hadn’t brought my phone with me. I had cash in my bra and a key hidden out front of the gates. I’d thought I’d be hitching a ride home with Cory, not the guy who sometimes hated me enough to break my heart.
For a moment, I wondered how many times he’d need to break it for me to quit coming back.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“It’s just after ten,” Jude said.
“Seriously?” I wanted to scream. “I was only there for two and a half hours?” That was better than the few times I’d ventured out before, but still, I was kind of bummed.
Jude shrugged. “Coming or not?”
“Why’d you pick me up?”
He shushed me as we walked inside, being careful to catch the door behind me before it could slam closed.
I waited until we’d reached his room before I asked again, eyeing the antique frames housing pictures of Jude and his brother as we headed to the stairs. It might’ve been dark, but I could still see there were no pictures of his whole family together or his mother.
Double huh.
Where was she? I’d save that question for another time when it might get answered instead of having me sent home.
“Jude,” I whispered, leaning back against the closed door of his room as he kicked off his boots and ripped off his socks. “Why? And how did you even know I was there?”
He gave me a look that said, “Really?” As though not one of the idiots from school might tell him the girl he’d bullied was out in the wild mere days after.
I bit my lip and tugged at the lace hem of my dress, eyeing the pointed toes of my boots.
Bare feet and denim wrapped ankles appeared, and then his finger tipped up my chin. “No one else gets to fuck with you. Only me. That’s why I came.”
Before I could demand that he maybe not fuck with me again, his lips were on mine.
I released my dress but wasn’t sure where to put my hands. His finger left my chin, his hand framed my face, and his other met my lower back.
“Red,” he whispered into my mouth. “Just fucking touch me.”
“Okay,” I said, but it was muffled by his tongue when he angled my head, fingers threading into my hair as his tongue slid against mine.
He really shouldn’t have given me permission. My hands became detectives, roaming and searching every inch of his back, slipping under his sweatshirt to discover there was no T-shirt beneath.
I moaned my approval, fingers following the muscular curves on either side of his spine. Letting his mouth do as it wished, I just held on and enjoyed the stomach-dipping, heart-thrashing ride.
I didn’t protest when he grabbed my dress and lifted. Our lips broke momentarily, my hair falling back over my shoulders to tickle my half-exposed breasts. Jude glanced at the cream bra and matching satin panties, then growled when his mouth returned to mine. “I fucking love your mouth,” he rasped, then bent low, lips dragging over my chin to my chest. “And these fucking tits…” He tore the cups down to squeeze them, and I fell back against the door, my breathing embarrassingly loud.
“Fancy another first?” I managed to get out, fingers sifting through his deliciously thick hair.
Jude froze, rising back to his full height, a head taller than me even though I was wearing heels. I toed them off. His mouth twitched, the glow of the lamp behind him detailing what I’d done to his hair. It stood everywhere, and god, was it softer than I remembered.
“Fancy?”
“You say that in the UK, don’t you?”
“I haven’t lived there for years,” he said, laughter roughening his deep voice.
“Right, I knew that.” His brows rose high, and I hurried to say, “But you still have a bit of an accent.” Ugh, I wanted to snatch his face and shove it back to my exposed breasts to kill this moment dead. “I guess.”
Reaching behind me, he didn’t remove his eyes from mine as he unhooked my bra. It dropped to the floor along with the fifty-dollar bill I’d saved for a ride home. “You’ve been drinking.”
To that, I smirked. “I’m not drunk, and sober or half asleep, we both know I’d want to do it.”
As though I’d doused them, his eyes sparked and burned, and he pulled my body flush with his. “I’m tempted to ask why, but I know better.”
The fabric of his hoodie against my bare skin lit so many fires that it was hard to tell which one needed extinguishing first. Gazing up at him, I circled my arms behind his back. “What are you afraid of, Jude?”
He hummed, then let out a humorous breath. “Nothing.” Something collapsed inside me, and I almost didn’t answer when he asked, “What are you afraid of, Red?”
Too much wine, maybe, or too much Jude, his fingers running up and down my spine. I couldn’t decide. But if this all came crashing down upon me as I expected, then at least I could say I’d been honest. “My soul.”
“That’s…” His fingers stopped, and his head tilted. “Deep.”
“Use that against me, Jude Delouxe.”
He laughed, the sound a silent breath across my lips. “Careful. I just might.”
With his mouth rubbing over mine, he maneuvered me back to his bed, releasing me to remove his hooded jacket and jeans.
I stared at his thick thighs, and I kind of wanted to know what it would feel like to rub myself over them. He left his briefs on, but I was too afraid to ask why as he threw himself over the bed to his back and beckoned for me.
“I think you’re afraid of yours, too,” I said without much thought.
It was a hunch, but judging by the way his eyes darkened, I’d struck him somewhere.
Folding his arms behind his head, he drawled, “Am I now?”
Still wearing my panties, I crawled over him, loving the way his eyes glued to my breasts. “Aren’t we all?” I whispered, straddling one of those thighs just as I’d wanted to.
Eyes hooded, he watched me, unsure where to keep them as I ran my fingers through my hair, scrunching and releasing it while I rocked over him. “My dick is about to punch a hole through my briefs.” His throat bobbed. “Does that feel good?”
“So good.” I dropped my hair. “Why don’t we free him then?” I had no idea where such bravery had come from, but I was glad it’d arrived.
I wanted to see it.
“Him?” Jude asked, a glint in his eyes when they left my dampening panties and met mine.
In answer, I slipped my teeth over my lower lip.
“How about you sit on my face, then I’ll let you meet him?”
My center burned. God, I wanted that so bad. But my cheeks flushed, and I felt it spread to my chest at the thought of actually doing it.
Jude pulled me over him, my hands planted on either side of his head as his fingers traced the rapidly spreading rash. “I think I’m becoming obsessed with what I can do to you.”
I’m obsessed with you, I almost blurted. Instead, I stared at the few hairs dotting his firm chest. “It’s ugly.”
Gruff, he stated, “It’s sexy as fuck.” Clutching my chin, he pulled my mouth to his. “Wanna know why?”
“Please,” I said, my nose skimming his.
“Because I made it happen.”
Our lips danced, and with every caress and gentle glide, I felt myself relax over him until I realized I was rocking over his length.
Throaty and soft, he murmured, “You’re really getting the hang of this whole kissing thing.”
I smiled against his mouth and then dragged his luscious bottom lip into mine and sucked.
Expelling a rough exhale, he smacked my ass, and I yelped. “Now sit on my fucking face.”
I crawled up his body, nervous as hell and not fast enough for his liking.
Catching my hips, he lifted me over his head. “My panties…”
“They’re staying on,” he said to them as my thighs settled on either side of his face.
His breathing warmed the satin, his nose rubbing. My hands slapped against the thick wooden post to aid in holding me up. For which I was thankful when he grumbled something I couldn’t hear and then licked.
I hadn’t realized it would feel just as good with a barrier between my skin and his expert mouth. My head fell, my hair tickling my back as I got lost in the type of torture I never wanted to escape from.
I was teetering, every muscle tightening in preparation, when cold hit my wet flesh. “You’re bare.”
Disorientated and wishful, I had no idea what he was talking about. “Huh?”
“Your cunt.” A swipe of his tongue emphasized his thick words. “Fuck, it’s so pretty.”
“I waxed,” I admitted, and it’d hurt like seven types of hell.
I’d do it again, though, if it meant I’d have his mouth on me.
He blew a breath over my skin, a dark chuckle leaving him when I shook. Then he lifted me, and my back hit the bed with a bounce. I climbed onto my elbows in time to see him situate himself between my thighs.
He opened them wide. Careful yet curious fingers spread me, trailing through me, exploring. “I’m going to make you come, Red, but first…” He reached my opening, the tip of his finger circling it as his low words washed over me. “First, I’m going to become so well acquainted that it’ll be imprinted in my mind forever.”
Forever.
I loved that word.
I loved it way too much.
H
is fingers toyed, and soon, his tongue returned. Within a minute, I was trapping his head between my legs, my fingers tugging at his hair. “Holy shit.”
Jude was chuckling, pressing kisses to my swollen center. “Even quicker than last time.”
Fear shot through me, hitching a ride straight to my chest. He was going to kick me out again, and I hadn’t achieved what I’d hoped to.
“You said you’d show me,” I reminded him, unable to recognize my own voice. It was husky and gross as though I’d just woken up.
He didn’t seem to care. Staring up at me over my stomach, Jude slid my damp panties back into place and grinned. “A young man like myself doesn’t forget things such as that.” Moving beside me, he laid his head upon the other pillow. “Ever seen one before?”
“Only…” I snapped my mouth shut, my cheeks threatening to color all over again.
“Porn?” Jude offered, intrigue bringing out that mixed accent of his. “Why, watching porn is nothing to be ashamed of, darling Red.”
I wouldn’t dare admit it. No way. Not after what he’d done with the admissions I’d given him thus far. My every word, every affection, was and would be used against me.
I wanted to ask him why. I wanted to ask him if he could never do that to me again.
Yet I knew saying anything would be futile.
“Hey,” he said, his brows furrowed. “Quit thinking and chill.” Rolling to his back, he rolled down his briefs and then tucked his hands behind his head. “Feast your eyes whenever you dare.”
I laughed, turning my face into his pillow to hide it.
It wasn’t that the male genitalia grossed me out. Okay, so it was all a little funny looking. I just didn’t want to get caught being a ten-year-old girl.
What if I giggled and laughed? If he was already inclined to humiliating me, then doing the same to him would really make him hate me.
“Fern,” he said, my name jarring in the quiet room.
I peeked at him, then inhaled a deep breath. Okay, I thought. Here goes nothing.
Releasing it, I sat up, then immediately felt my eyes widen. “Oh, wow.”
The lighting might have been dim, but I could see enough, and I crawled down the bed to his side to take a closer look.
