He’d even found three people with a decent amount of kitchen experience who might be able to take over the cooking. All three had agreed to do a test run with a few of Gram’s recipes, so Luke wanted to narrow down those options to see which would provide the greatest challenge. This afternoon Gram had agreed to come in to taste the results and help him make his final choice. If Dillon and Moira joined them, they could make a party of it, he thought, turning the project into something he could actually look forward to.
He was completely absorbed in his work when he sensed that Moira was standing next to him. He hadn’t even heard her leave his office.
“Hey!” he said, blinking up at her. “What time is it?”
“Getting on toward eleven,” she said. “I think I’ll head back to your grandmother’s.”
He frowned at that. Obviously, the thaw hadn’t set in yet. “Is that what you want to do?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I just think it’s best.”
“Mind telling me why? Is this about whatever upset you earlier?”
She sighed and sat down beside him, then leaned forward, her expression earnest. “Luke, I’m trying really, really hard to understand your need to compartmentalize your life and proceed along at an orderly pace, but it’s hard. These circumstances make it hard.”
Though he didn’t yet understand, he nodded. “I’m listening,” he said, hoping to encourage her to go on.
Instead, she gave him an impatient look. “You should be able to figure it out. I’ve given you enough hints.”
He laughed, though he saw at once that that only irritated her more. “Sorry, but I’ve never professed to be a mind reader, Moira. And, to be honest, I’ve never been so involved with anyone that I’ve needed to practice being one.”
“And is that the case with me? That we’re not so involved that you have to waste any energy trying to figure out what’s upsetting me?”
He knew it was a trick question, one likely to land him in even hotter water, but he opted for honesty. “Frankly, one of the things I’ve liked the best about you is that from the beginning you’ve always spoken your mind. I always knew exactly where I stood. Even now, I know you’re thoroughly annoyed with me. I just keep waiting for you to tell me why.”
“I shouldn’t have to,” she said in frustration.
“But isn’t it easier to just say it than to try to prod me into guessing?” he replied, equally frustrated.
He held her gaze as he asked it, and eventually he saw the faint tug of a smile at the corners of her mouth.
“So I’ve reverted to being impossible Moira?” she suggested.
“Maybe just a little,” he said. “Don’t you know you can be straightforward with me by now? I’m trainable, Moira. I swear it.”
Now she did laugh and the tension broke.
“I think people have had it all wrong,” she told him. “You’re the impossible one. How am I supposed to stay mad at you?”
“Honestly, I wish you wouldn’t,” he replied. He reached for her hands. “Talk to me.”
“Okay, here it is. When grandfather told me he was staying on and then you said you’d known about it, it hurt my feelings that you hadn’t thought to ask the same of me.”
Luke regarded her with astonishment. “The one thing has nothing to do with the other,” he said. “We’re talking about your grandfather and Gram. They’re at an entirely different stage of their lives. They have the leisure to do whatever they like. You have this wonderful opportunity waiting for you in Dublin. I thought you were excited to be testing your wings at that. And I have this place to launch and manage and figure out how to make a success of it. I assumed you wanted to go home and that it would be selfish of me to suggest that you change your plans.”
“Which leaves us precisely where?” she asked. “Is there some sort of timetable in that logical, orderly head of yours?”
“Not really,” he admitted.
“So, what? If I happen to cross your mind, you’ll give me a call or send an email? If you’ve a free moment, you might fly over for a visit someday? Or if I have a sudden urge, I can do the same thing? Is it all that casual to you, then?”
“Yes,” he said, then immediately saw the mistake of his quick response in the darkening of her eyes. “I mean, no, not the way you’re taking it.”
“I don’t think there are that many different interpretations,” she said. She stood up. “I need to get to Nell’s.”
“No,” he argued. “You need to stay here so we can finish this conversation.”
She gave him a sad look. “I think we just did.”
And then, before he could react, she’d grabbed her jacket and purse and was gone.
The man was an idiot, pure and simple, Moira thought as she plodded her way back toward Nell’s cottage. There wasn’t a question in her mind that she’d be safe enough walking home at this late hour, but she did shiver as a breeze blew in off the bay. There was a storm brewing. She could feel it in the air. Anyone from Ireland would have recognized the signs.
The chilly rain started to fall just as she started up the road to Nell’s. She still had at least a half-mile walk ahead of her. She heard the car before the headlights appeared as it came around a bend in the road. It pulled to a stop beside her.
“Get in,” Luke said.
“I’m almost there. I can walk,” she said, still moving forward.
“Do not make me stop this car to drag you in here,” he said, clearly beyond annoyed.
“Go home, Luke. I’ll be fine.”
“And I thought my family was stubborn,” he groused, cutting the engine and climbing out of the car.
She turned to warn him off. “I’m not getting into that car with you and if you try to drag me in, I’ll scream my head off.”
He shook his head. “I’m sure you will, so I’ll just walk along with you, and we’ll both risk pneumonia. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I can’t allow you to walk home at this hour alone.”
“It’s perfectly safe. Besides, I’m almost there.”
“And if you walk in looking like a drowned rat and you’re all by yourself, I’ll never hear the end of it,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets and falling into an easy stride next to her.
She could tell there was absolutely no way she was going to shake him. Still, she tried again. “Luke, no one will be up. I won’t tell a soul that I walked home by myself in the pouring rain. Your honor will be perfectly intact come morning.”
“Not taking the chance,” he said, matching her stubbornness.
She uttered a sigh of resignation. “Whatever made me think we were a good match?”
He actually had the audacity to chuckle at that. “I could show you, if you’d like to pause for a moment.”
“We’re out here in the pouring rain, and you’re thinking of sex?” she asked incredulously.
“You always make me think of sex,” he responded.
She rounded on him then, not sure whether to be appalled or pleased by the remark. “Seriously?”
“Always,” he reiterated.
“Even now, when I’m mad at you and being difficult and arbitrary and stubborn?”
“A few of your more alluring traits,” he insisted.
“Now you’re just hoping to get lucky, after all,” she said.
They walked in silence a little farther before he slanted a look in her direction. “Did it work? Am I going to get lucky?”
“Not in your grandmother’s house, that’s for sure,” she retorted.
“That wasn’t exactly a no,” he said hopefully. “Was it?”
“Alas, no,” she said, regretting how easily he managed to ease past her defenses and defuse her temper. “I supp
ose we should make a U-turn and head back to your car.”
She thought she glimpsed a smile on his lips just then. “Are you smiling?” she asked. “Please tell me that is not a smug smile I just saw on your face.”
“No smile,” he said at once.
She elbowed him lightly in the side. “Yes, it was. It’s absolutely pitiful how easy I am.”
“Easy?” he echoed, sounding incredulous.
She laughed. “You know what I mean. It’s impossible to stay mad at you even half as long as you deserve.”
“I’m glad,” he told her.
“Yes, you would be, wouldn’t you? It works out quite nicely for you.”
Just before he opened the car door for her, he looked into her eyes. “I’ll do my best to make sure it works out nicely for you as well.”
And she knew he would. That, perhaps, was the reason it was going to be all but impossible for her to ever walk away and make it stick.
Sunday dinner at Mick and Megan’s was yet another of those O’Brien family gatherings that made Moira yearn to be a part of this family. Even more so than little Henry’s birthday party, it was the kind of occasion that showcased the family ties at their best. There were debates among the brothers—Mick, Thomas and Jeff, as well as laughter among the women preparing the meal in the kitchen. Children were underfoot everywhere Moira turned, admonished only rarely for making too much noise or running too fast in the house.
“God, I love this,” she murmured to herself, unaware that Luke’s mother was close enough to overhear.
“It’s the O’Briens at their best,” Jo said, startling her. “It can also be a little intimidating. It took me a long time to feel a real part of it. I’m not as quick to jump into an argument as most of them are.”
“But I’ll bet you’ve learned to stand your ground,” Moira said.
Jo nodded. “I’ve had to. Fortunately, though, Jeff isn’t the kind of man who needs to battle over everything. We can actually hold a perfectly rational conversation and reach a mutually satisfying agreement. We’re amazingly civilized compared to the rest of the family.”
“That must drive his brothers mad,” Moira guessed. “Mick and Thomas seem to enjoy the sheer challenge of the debate.”
“They do,” Jo confirmed. She regarded Moira intently. “Are you enjoying your visit to Chesapeake Shores?”
“I am. It’s been wonderful. And I can’t wait for the opening of Luke’s pub.”
“Neither can I,” Jo said. “I’m actually jealous that he’s let you get a glimpse inside, while the rest of us have been banished until opening night.”
“He wants the wow factor of that first impression,” Moira said. “Of course, a few people have been sneaking in the past few days for a variety of reasons. I think once the furnishings have been delivered, though, he’ll have it on total lockdown.”
“You’ve been a huge help to him,” Jo said.
Moira was surprised by her assessment. “I haven’t done much. This was all his idea. I was just along for the research.”
“But you’ve been exactly what he needed, a knowledgeable sounding board. You’ve been around pubs your whole life. You’ve worked in several. I’m sure you know the pitfalls and can point out what makes one successful.”
“I’m not sure there’s a magic formula,” Moira said. “But the best ones create a sense of community. I think Luke will have no problem doing that here. He has the personality for it, don’t you think?”
Jo nodded. “In a family of gregarious people, he’s always been a notch above. He can be a peacemaker, too, if need be. That’s the role he played for his sister when he feared her marriage might be in danger. He saw it, I think, before any of the rest of us did, and just stepped in.”
“You’re referring to Kristen, the woman who had some sort of past history with Susie’s husband,” Moira guessed.
“She’s the one,” Jo said in a way that made it absolutely clear how she felt about the woman. “And though I didn’t approve of Luke’s means, I’m eternally grateful that he stepped in before the situation deteriorated any further.”
“He says that’s all there was to it,” Moira said, curious to know Jo’s perception of the situation.
“I think it was,” Jo said. “At least on Luke’s part. With a woman like Kristen, it’s hard to say. She doesn’t seem like the kind to let go easily, which is what started the problem in the first place. She wanted Mack back and didn’t care if Susie was hurt in the process. That would have been offensive enough under any circumstances, but Susie was battling cancer at the time. It struck me as heartless. I’ll never forgive Kristen for being so callous. Thank goodness she’s no longer in Luke’s life, either. She’d never have been welcomed in this family.”
She waved a hand in the air. “Enough of that. Luke’s moved on, and from what I can see, he’s happier than he’s ever been. That’s due in great measure to you, so thank you for that.”
Moira regarded her with surprise. No one had ever suggested that her presence in someone’s life might actually be a blessing. Her own father had thought she was the last straw and hadn’t even wanted to know her. Her mother tolerated her. Her grandfather was the one person in her family who had shown her true kindness. It was only since Luke that she’d begun to view herself as more than a nuisance.
“I’m the one who’s grateful,” she told Jo candidly. “Luke’s looked at me as no one else ever has, as if I’m more than an impossible problem to be dealt with.”
Jo frowned at her words. “Surely not. I know that’s not how Dillon views you at all.”
“But Grandfather’s only recently come into my life. It’s because of him and Luke that I’m starting to see myself in a different way.”
Jo regarded her with sympathy. “Self-esteem can be a fragile thing,” she said. “I teach physical education and spend a lot of time with young women. They all struggle with self-esteem and body image, often confusing the two. It makes me wonder what sort of homes they’ve come from, what sort of parents let them harbor even the tiniest doubts about their worth.”
“Careless ones, I think,” Moira said, thinking of her own mother. “My mum wasn’t cruel or even thoughtless. She was just too busy trying to keep us afloat financially to see what my brothers and I really needed, which was a stronger sense of family and belonging.”
“Well, you’ve found that here with us,” Jo said, giving her an impulsive hug. “Now I see my son on his way over here, probably in a panic that I’m telling you tales about his misdeeds as a boy.”
“And have you?” Luke asked her as he joined them.
“Not a one,” Jo told him. “We’ve both been singing your praises.”
He gave Moira a curious look. “Even you?”
She laughed at his skeptical expression. “Even me. You’ve done nothing yet today to annoy me.”
“Then I’ll do my best to make sure it stays that way,” he promised.
When Jo had left them, he looked into her eyes. “Did she scare you off?”
“Far from it,” Moira admitted. “I’m more convinced than ever that you’re quite a knight in shining armor.”
The bigger question, still unanswered, though, was whether he was hers.
13
Even though she’d put her cards on the table with Luke a couple of nights ago, by Monday Moira was back to wondering how she fit into Luke’s life. It was the drawback of a life spent questioning her own judgment and decisions.
It was true that spending nights in his bed was amazing, but in reality that told her nothing about the future. And she knew from prior conversations that nothing was likely to change for some time to come. It left her feeling disgruntled and alone. Add in Luke’s increasing distraction and she was having one of those days when
she wondered if it was even wise to stick around for the scheduled month.
Today there’d been a steady parade of potential employees through the pub. Luke hadn’t suggested that she sit in on the interviews, and she hadn’t offered. She knew that made sense, since it wasn’t her business, but, as hard as she’d tried not to, she’d felt left out.
She’d spent most of the day closeted in his office, going through the pictures she’d taken on Saturday and making prints for Kevin and Shanna and the rest of the family, then putting certain ones into the file for her portfolio to show to Megan. While seeing so many laughing images made her smile, ironically they left her feeling more like an outsider than ever. This wasn’t her family, no matter how she might wish it were. And at the rate things were progressing, it might never be. The date of her departure loomed ahead, unmistakable in its possible finality for the relationship.
By midday she was restless and out of sorts. Since the sun was shining, she slipped past Luke and his applicants and headed for the beach. Perhaps a walk by the water would clear her head. It sometimes worked in ways nothing else did.
But at the end of an hour, she was still trying to analyze her mood. She could hardly complain about the sex, because that was as magical as it had ever been. There was plenty of laughter and teasing and quiet conversation as well. So what was missing? Eventually she realized that, for the first time ever, she wanted something more from a relationship, something she didn’t dare ask for. She wanted forever. And Luke, she knew all too well, did not. At least not now.
Should she decide totally on her own to stay and fight for what she really wanted, or should she accept that Luke might never be ready and cut her losses by going home now? Losing him would hurt whenever it happened, but now might be for the best, when she at least had the prospect of an exciting career to explore when she returned to Dublin. A call from Peter had promised a half-dozen assignments on her return, all of them for more money than she’d ever dreamed of making from her photography.
The Summer Garden Page 17
