He wanted her; wanted to kiss her all over; every inch of her. To glide his hands … ‘Bugger!’ The sound of the boys’ bedroom door opening was like a thunderclap, instantly forcing them apart.
‘Er, we, er … Your mum, she … had something in her eye,’ David offered by way of weak explanation to Ryan, who, having watched his mother shoot flustered into the bathroom, was now regarding him coolly.
‘Rrright.’ Ryan cocked his head to one side. ‘Thus the mouth to mouth?’ he enquired drolly.
‘Er …’ David’s heart sank. Lying to Ryan, he wasn’t comfortable with. What had just happened with Andrea …? David felt his emotions colliding, astonishment, euphoria, fear. It had felt right. It had felt one hundred per cent right, but … In his wildest dream it could never be, with Jake not even beginning to come to terms with the loss of his mother. And what about Andrea’s kids? Had he taken leave of his senses?
‘Just don’t take advantage.’ Ryan shot him a warning glance as David sweated, wondering what the hell to say next. ‘Comprendre?’
Getting the message, David nodded, thankful that Ryan hadn’t pursued it with Jake able to overhear. ‘I won’t,’ he promised earnestly.
Ryan regarded him a second longer and then, apparently satisfied, gave him a short nod back. ‘Jake and me are getting some munchies, if that’s okay?’
Snacks, David mentally translated. ‘No problem,’ he said as Ryan dragged his gaze away from him and drifted along the landing. ‘If you fancy though, we could grab a burger while we’re out.’
Ryan turned back. ‘Out where?’
‘Distributing leaflets,’ David supplied, hoping that Ryan wouldn’t think this was some feeble attempt to redeem himself in his eyes.
Ryan now looked definitely unimpressed.
‘Missing dog leaflets,’ David elaborated, guessing he probably did. ‘I thought we might put some posters up, while we were at it.’
Still eyeing him suspiciously, Ryan considered. ‘Good idea,’ he eventually said, giving him a half-approving nod.
David dragged a hand through his hair, relieved. At least the kid hadn’t told him where to stuff his leaflets.
‘All right with you, Mum?’ Ryan called.
Cringing on Andrea’s behalf, David guessed Ryan’s thinking was on a par with his, that his mother was hiding in there mortified, probably with her ear pressed to the door.
‘Yes, wonderful idea,’ was Andrea’s rather high-pitched reply.
Coming back along the landing, Ryan gave him another one of his shrewd looks, reminding David that he might have a temporary reprieve but that he wasn’t off the hook.
David nodded, indicating he’d got the drift, and then, ‘Are you up for it, Jake?’ he asked and mentally crossed his fingers.
‘What?’ Jake answered from his room. A short response, but at least it was a response.
‘Distributing some leaflets in hopes someone might have spotted Ryan’s dog. What do you think?’
‘Yup,’ Jake said immediately. ‘I’m in.’
David watched Jake approach the door, not over-enthusiastically, but that, he guessed, was more to do with the Ryan style slope he was trying to emulate. ‘We thought we’d get a burger while we’re out, if you’re hungry, that is?’
‘Big Mac?’ Jake eyed him curiously.
‘Anything you fancy.’
‘Minty,’ Jake replied.
David closed his eyes and offered up a silent prayer of gratitude. Open adoration it might not be, but that was okay. He didn’t need hero-worshipping. If his son could learn to like him again, even love him a little, it would be enough.
‘Small problem,’ Ryan pointed out, going back into Jake’s room for his trainers. ‘All the photos we had of Dougal are on the PC we don’t have any more.’
‘No problem,’ Jake said, his feet already halfway into his trainers. ‘He’s a Yorkie, right? There’ll be loads of Yorkie pics online. We can run some off on my PC.’
And now David was truly grateful. By some miracle, that miracle being Ryan, his son was actually conversing; talking openly. Jake might never be the carefree ten-year-old he should be, but this was the closest he’d come in a long time. David’s attraction to Andrea was real. He felt it with every part of him. But could either of them really contemplate taking risks with their children’s emotions?
Posters printed, fifteen minutes later, they hit the shops. All of the shops. And in all of those shops, hushed whispers and curious glances were swiftly followed by smiles of greeting. David smiled dutifully back, exchanged pleasantries about the weather, but comments about personal issues, his and Andrea’s, he steered clear of.
Andrea, he imagined, wouldn’t want him speculating with people as to what started the fire, when the insurance might pay up, when the enigmatic Jonathan had showed up, which the girl in the Tiny Tots shop openly had.
Human nature was to gossip, David knew that, and, yes, he had built a brick fortress around himself initially. The walls were coming down a fraction now though, thanks to Andrea, but still he didn’t care to divulge more than he needed to, especially after what had happened between them.
‘What’s up?’ Jake eyed him curiously as they walked from the car park into the park, Ryan off in front to ‘check out suitable trees for posters’ he’d said. To give Jake and him some space, he meant. David appreciated it.
‘Nothing. Why?’ he answered, puzzled. He hadn’t spoken for the last couple of minutes, largely because his thoughts had drifted back to Andrea, the soft caress of her lips on his, her body pressed close to his.
‘You’re smiling,’ Jake informed him as if it were as unlikely as catching him flying, which, after all, David supposed it was.
‘Oh, right, sorry.’ David arranged his face into a frown, which better suited thoughts about Eden, which followed hot on the heels of thoughts about Andrea. Whatever had happened, whatever might or might not happen between Andrea and him, as sure as God made little green apples, Eden was up to something. David could feel it in his bones.
Jake’s eyes flicked back up to him. ‘That’s okay. It’s allowed.’ He shrugged awkwardly. ‘I don’t think Mum would have wanted us to be sad all the time.’
David swallowed. ‘No, I, er …’ He swallowed again and attempted to clear his throat. ‘I don’t think she would have done, Jake. She preferred to be around smiley people.’
Would she have wanted him to be happy, though? Find happiness again in a relationship? Somehow, knowing her as he did, that she genuinely did hate to see people miserable, David doubted Michelle would have condemned him to spend his life on his own.
Maybe he would find happiness again. One day.
‘Dad?’ Jake said, after a pause.
Dad? David closed his eyes. ‘Yep?’ he managed.
‘Can we have a dog? We were going to have one, weren’t we, before …’ Jake trailed off, for reasons that were obvious to David.
‘Depends,’ he said, now struggling hard to keep his emotions in check.
‘On?’ Jake squinted up at him.
‘On whether we find Dougal.’ David nodded towards Ryan, who, having found a suitable tree, was now nailing a poster hard to it.
Jake followed his gaze. ‘Oh, right.’ He contemplated. ‘And if we don’t?’
David contemplated in turn, his mouth twitching into a smile. He had a distinct feeling he was being manipulated here. ‘Give it a couple of weeks, hey, until Andrea and her family have got themselves sorted, and then we’ll start looking around,’ he relented. ‘But only if you’re prepared to do your share of the walk—’
‘Yesss!’ Jake whooped. ‘And if we do find Dougal, my dog and Ryan’s dog can be mates, can’t they?’ At which Jake set off at a run to help Ryan out, leaving David firmly grounded. Whatever he did, he realised, where Jake’s future was concerned, mistakes were simply not an option.
Having fretted herself into a state of exhaustion, Dee now lay on the bed napping, her expression still one of pursed-lipped
silence, which she’d adopted when Andrea had apparently ‘taken Jonathan’s side’. She was wearing one of David’s jumpers, purloined because it would keep her warm, she’d said, until she’d got the Aga going. The Aga in her little river fronting cottage Andrea knew she meant, feeling emotionally drained and as confused as her poor mum must be. Gently, she covered her with the duvet and then gathered up an also sleepy Chloe. She’d pop her down on the sofa, Andrea decided, collecting ‘new Igglepiggle’ from the bottom of the bed and closing the door quietly behind her.
‘CBeebies,’ Chloe demanded, once tucked comfortably up with all of David’s cushions, one determined little hand outstretched towards the TV and a thumb wedged in her mouth.
Andrea was tempted to ease her thumb away, but thought better of it. It obviously offered Chloe a little comfort at a time she sorely needed some. ‘All right, darling,’ she smiled, tucking yet another of David’s sheets under her baby’s chin, ‘but quietly, hmm? Nana’s sleeping.’
Popping the DVD in, Andrea was grateful for Ryan’s foresight regarding essentials required to maintain some sort of normality. He might still be sloping about with his skinny jeans hip level, but he’d gone from monstrous teenage stage to mature young man almost overnight; in the absence of the man who should be in their lives, Jonathan, who was still missing more often than not, Andrea thought angrily.
Her anger, though, soon subsided, ousted by overwhelming guilt. She’d kissed David. It hadn’t been a chaste peck on the cheek. It had been long and lingering, full on and passionate. Andrea’s hand strayed to her mouth in the wake of David’s lips hard against hers, his tongue, gently searching, sending shockwaves through her entire body and her emotions into complete chaos.
Leaving Chloe with her lush eyelashes tickling her cheeks, seeking to entice her to sleep, Andrea slipped silently from the room. Her arms wrapped about herself, she pulled her shirt tight. David’s shirt. It smelled of him. Pulling the collar to her face, she inhaled the intoxicating smell of clean cotton suffused with the aftershave she knew to be his: a spicy oriental fragrance, with cinnamon and orange blossom undertones, which lingered in the fabric even after he’d washed it. It was nice, sensual, yet masculine – and comforting, somehow.
Was that what it was, her seeking some kind of solace in his arms? A weak moment of madness? No. Andrea’s skin tingled and her pelvis dipped as she retraced the exquisite trail of his mouth soft on her throat, her shoulders. She’d wanted him. Wanted to feel his hands on her body, searching, touching, making love to her in the way she knew that he would. She could almost feel him inside her, making her feel whole again. Feel wanted and special.
Andrea swallowed, knowing now that Jonathan hadn’t made her feel that way for a long time, preoccupied as he perpetually seemed to be; her fault, too, possibly, but wasn’t that the core of the problem between them? That the intimacy had gone somehow. She couldn’t remember when.
Was it more than a mad moment for David? she wondered, making a cup of tea for something to do. Had she compromised him? Was he even now regretting it?
Slowly, she stirred the tea, absent-mindedly watching the whirlpool that formed at the heart of it – and then almost knocking the cup over as the backdoor swung open behind her.
‘Thought I’d slip in the back,’ Jonathan said as she spun around to face him. ‘Are the kids in?’ He smiled, causing Andrea’s guilt to multiply tenfold.
‘No,’ she said, a hand to her throat as if the evidence of David’s kisses was scorched there. ‘They’re out … with David. The boys, that is. Sophie’s at Hannah’s and Chloe’s asleep—’ Andrea stopped, her eyes dropping from his face to the bump under Jonathan’s overcoat, which seemed to be moving.
And yapping. Frenziedly.
‘Dougal!’ Andrea cried, overjoyed as his little blond-Beatle cut appeared over the top of the coat, followed by two sparkly chocolate button eyes. ‘Oooh, Dougal!’ Her tea abandoned, she flew across to pluck the now very frenzied dog from Jonathan’s precarious grasp and hold him up high.
‘So, do I get a kiss?’ Jonathan asked hopefully as she cooed and made kissy faces at the dog. ‘Or do I have to grow some fur and a tail first?’
Oblivious to the front door opening, Andrea laughed, then, pulling Dougal – plus manically lapping tongue – from her face, she leaned up to press a grateful kiss on Jonathan’s cheek; but dropped quickly back down as joyous whoops from the boys alerted her to their presence behind her.
‘Bloody hell!’ Ryan gawked, eyes agog as he looked from Dougal to Andrea to Jonathan. ‘Dougal!’ he exclaimed ecstatically, then – laid-back Ryan nowhere in evidence – he moved like greased lightning across the kitchen to gather an equally ecstatic, scrambling Dougal to him.
‘Come here, little guy. What have they been doing to you, hey, mate? Tell me all about it and I’ll get them for you.’ Bundling him in his arms like a baby, Ryan nuzzled the little dog close and serious face licking ensued.
‘And me, I’ll get ’em, Dougal,’ Jake enthused, following Ryan across the kitchen to stroke the dog’s wriggling, waggily rump.
Foregoing admonishments for snogging the dog, Andrea smiled delightedly, her gaze falling on David as she did. David’s gaze faltered for a second, but when he looked back to her, he was smiling, albeit uncertainly.
Rightly or wrongly, Andrea felt a huge surge of relief. She’d been sure he’d feel so awkward he wouldn’t know where to look.
‘Can I hold him?’ Jake asked, bouncing alongside Ryan. ‘Can I, Ryan? Can I?’
His son’s exuberance obviously evident, David’s smile widened, reminding Andrea that whatever she felt, whatever David might feel, their children’s emotions were absolutely paramount.
‘Thanks, David,’ she said, wishing she could convey how pleased for him she was that here, at last, was a glimpse of the uninhibited, carefree little boy Jake should be. ‘David’s been out putting up missing dog posters with the boys,’ she filled Jonathan in. ‘We’re all really grateful, aren’t we, guys?’
‘Very,’ Jonathan said, with a short smile. ‘Pity it was such a waste of time,’ he added, sounding not the least bit grateful and extremely sarcastic.
‘Jonathan?’ Andrea looked at him askew.
‘Well, he’s found now, isn’t he, so …’ Jonathan shrugged, his gaze now fixed firmly on David, who, Andrea noticed, seemed as determined as Jonathan not to look away. Consumed with guilt now, Andrea glanced nervously between them.
‘You can help me give him a bath,’ Ryan’s voice broke the discernible standoff. ‘What d’y’reckon, little guy? Fancy a swim with me and Jake, hey?’
Relieved at the timely interruption, Andrea rolled her eyes about to make a witty comment about Ryan styling Dougal’s fur afterwards, anything to dispel the uncomfortable atmosphere, when David spoke.
‘Looks pretty good on it, doesn’t he?’ he asked, his eyes still on Jonathan. ‘Where did you say you’d found him?’
‘Park,’ was Jonathan’s short reply.
‘Coincidence.’ David furrowed his brow. ‘We’ve just come from there.’ He appeared to ponder then offered Jonathan a short smile. ‘Well done on finding him anyway, though. The kids have missed him, particularly Sophie.’
No answer from Jonathan, Andrea noted, whose attention was now diverted to the dog’s hairs on his coat. Trying hard not to judge him for being so uncaring, since Jonathan hadn’t bothered to pick up David’s cue and ask how Sophie was, Andrea turned to the door to see to Chloe, who was calling from the lounge.
‘There’s a clothes brush in the utility if you need one,’ David said to Jonathan behind her, sounding not very impressed.
Concerned at Jonathan’s peculiar behaviour, Andrea headed worriedly for the lounge, hearing Dee upstairs as she did, ‘I see he hasn’t done away with Dougal yet, then?’ she said, presumably talking to Ryan.
‘Yerwhat?’ was Ryan’s bemused reply from the bathroom.
‘Nothing you need to concern yourself with, young man. You
just concentrate on making sure the bath is free of dog’s hairs when you’ve finished,’ Dee instructed, most definitely not sounding too muddled now.
Plucking Chloe from her nest of pillows, Andrea glanced at David as he came into the lounge after her.
‘Your mother sounds a little more lucid,’ he said.
He’d obviously also heard Dee dishing out her orders then.
Andrea nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said, confused, and wary of her heart’s sudden propensity to do a flamenco dance in her chest whenever David was near.
‘How is she?’ David asked nodding at Chloe, who was tearful, kneading her eyes with one hand, the thumb of her other still firmly wedged in her mouth.
‘Tetchy,’ Andrea supplied, planting a soft kiss on Chloe’s baby-soft cheek.
‘Bewildered, probably, by the strange surroundings when she woke up.’
‘Bound to be.’ Andrea hugged Chloe a little closer and then, wanting to dispel any uneasiness there might be between them, added, ‘Thanks, David, for all your help, with Dougal, as well as everything else.’
David offered her an easy smile. ‘No problem.’
‘I am so glad he’s been found safe and sound,’ Andrea said, transferring Chloe to one arm and reaching for Igglepiggle.
David reached it first. ‘Yep, definitely a small miracle,’ he agreed, picking the toy up from the sofa and handing it to her. ‘And he really doesn’t look too bad on it, does he? Considering he escaped an inferno and then got lost in the park for nearly two days, I mean. You’d think he might be bedraggled enough to need that bath, wouldn’t you?’
Andrea eyed him quizzically. ‘Meaning?’
‘Nothing, not really. It’s just …’ David shrugged awkwardly ‘… he looked a bit too well fed and groomed to have been wandering the streets, that’s all.’
What? Andrea blinked at him. Were his feathers ruffled now? Because of damaged pride? She couldn’t quite believe it. Narrowing her eyes, Andrea searched his face and realised they absolutely were. ‘Oh, David … Not you, too? What’s he supposed to have done now?’ she hissed, lest Jonathan overhear. ‘Plotted to murder the dog?’ Shaking her head despairingly, Andrea pulled her gaze away and walked past David back to the kitchen.
Learning to Love Page 19
