Andrea nodded. ‘To a hotel.’
David nodded in turn, swallowed and dropped his gaze, then looked up sharply as Jonathan came down the stairs.
‘All done,’ Jonathan said, dropping a second bag on the hall floor containing most of their meagre belongings.
He glanced at David, a gloating look on his face, Andrea noticed. She had no idea why. One thing she did have to thank Sally for, she supposed, was opening her eyes to the fact that she, too, would rather live without a man than live a lie with one. Andrea wasn’t sure she wanted to settle for less than a perfect love again either. She wasn’t sure it even existed.
‘I’ll take her,’ Jonathan addressed David shortly and reached to extract Chloe from his arms.
‘Want Davie,’ Chloe whimpered, holding on so tight David had to physically unhook her from his neck, which didn’t endear him any further to Jonathan, judging by the peeved expression he now wore. Not that Andrea was too worried about Jonathan’s feelings. Her only concern henceforth was to protect herself and her family from further emotional battering.
‘I’ll strap her in your car. Don’t be long, darling,’ Jonathan instructed as he walked past David to the front door, giving him a disdainful glance, which David reciprocated in his wake.
Andrea felt mildly amused. She should be flattered that two grown men looked daggers at each other over her, she supposed, were it not for the fact that the man she was supposed to be with couldn’t be bothered to make an effort to keep her, and the man she wanted to be with … Well, David had made his bed elsewhere, hadn’t he? Many places elsewhere, for all Andrea knew. He was obviously very accident-prone. He might well have mistakenly fallen into bed with women the length and breadth of the country.
‘Come on, baby. Daddy will get you some sweeties on the way,’ Jonathan’s voice trailed after him as he headed for the car. ‘How does that sound?’
‘Thweeties,’ Chloe repeated, sounding reasonably placated, which was at least one blessing.
Andrea looked back to David, who looked utterly exhausted.
David plunged his hands in his overcoat pockets and glanced at the ceiling. ‘Are you …? Is he …?’ Tugging in a breath, he blew it out and looked back to her.
‘I’m not sure. I obviously need to rent somewhere as soon as possible. That’s why I rang Jonathan,’ she didn’t elaborate. The man owed her that much, she’d decided, helping her provide a roof over his child’s head if nothing else. ‘I’m living pretty much day-to-day at the moment, so …’ Andrea shrugged, and managed a smile. ‘I’ll see what tomorrow brings.’
‘The kids?’ David asked. ‘Are they …?’
‘They’re fine,’ Andrea assured him. ‘Ryan collected Jake from school, as promised. He had a good day, apparently. Ryan’s up with him now.’
David nodded again, obviously immensely relieved, obviously apprehensive, too. As he would be. Jake had come on leaps and bounds with Ryan and Dougal around. However Andrea felt about David’s … liaisons, she wouldn’t wish Jake’s relationship with his father to go backwards. The children’s welfare was her overriding consideration, Jake’s very much included, which is why Ryan had selflessly offered to stay ‘mates’ with him, taking him to and from school, bless his understanding socks. If there was one good thing to have emerged from the ashes, it was that her monstrous teenagers seemed to have matured into caring young adults.
‘Jonathan will be waiting,’ Andrea said, filling the sudden uneasy silence. ‘I’d better go.’
She moved past David, the nearness of him reminding her painfully of how close they’d been just a short while ago. She could still taste him. Smell him. She swallowed, feeling his gaze on her, seeming to burn right through her clothes to her skin.
Closing her eyes, Andrea found her voice and called up the stairs. ‘Sophie.’
‘On our way,’ Sophie called back from the landing. ‘No, Gran, that’s David’s,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘Put it back.’
‘But he’ll never miss it,’ Dee’s voice carried from the bedroom.
‘Gran …’ Sophie’s footsteps could be heard stomping back. ‘… it’s his bloody alarm clock! He might miss it when he doesn’t wake up in the morning, don’t y’think?’
Oh no, her mum had turned into a kleptomaniac. Andrea had already extracted his tennis sweater and four pairs of his socks from Dee’s carrier bag. ‘Sorry.’ She glanced back at David, shrugging helplessly as she did.
David smiled. ‘Don’t worry about it. It’s useless anyway. I usually set the alarm on my mobile,’ he said, dragging his hand over his neck in that way he did. He really did look bone-tired. Andrea wished she could go to him, pull his hand away, pull him into her arms and make it all go away.
She couldn’t, of course. He’d probably never wanted more than one passionate bout of hot sex anyway, she reminded herself, stepping back to allow Sophie and Dee to pass, Sophie shooting David a disparaging glance as she did.
‘I knew you were too nice to be true,’ she said, causing David to lose the smile once again.
‘Is it yours?’ Dee asked, stopping smack bang in front of him.
‘I, er …’ David looked at Andrea uncomfortably. ‘Yes, I believe so.’
‘Could have sworn it was mine.’ Dee tottered on, leaving David gazing perplexedly after her.
‘The clock,’ Andrea clarified. ‘They do know, though,’ she thought she ought to warn him, ‘Sophie and Ryan, about the, um … You and Sally.’
‘Right.’ David now looked gutted and Andrea reminded herself again that whatever mess he was in, he’d brought it on himself. In any case, it might not be quite such a mess as it seemed. Sally and he might get it together and be very happy … together.
That thought slicing like a knife through her chest, Andrea quickly picked up her bag. ‘They heard, by the way,’ she informed him, should he be making wrong assumptions, ‘you and me … talking … last night, just in case you think I’ve been fuelling neighbourhood gossip.’
‘I think I’ve managed that pretty much by myself.’ David smiled wryly. ‘Stay safe, Andrea,’ he said, holding her gaze, ‘that’s all I ask.’
Andrea nodded. What did she do now? Shake his hand? ‘Could you let Ryan know we’re outside when he’s ready,’ she said calmly instead, then left before she was tempted to shake him.
Chatting animatedly, Ryan and Jake were coming along the landing as David reached it. Ryan had obviously taken Jake under his wing, again, after realising his idiot father seemed to be going all out to screw up his life. That was why he’d volunteered to take Jake to school, David realised now, knowing it was one way of injecting some enthusiasm into Jake and actually getting him there. Knowing, too, that school was probably the best place Jake could be while Andrea worked out what to do with the remnants of her life, which David must also appear to have been hell-bent on screwing up.
Holding his breath as the boys approached, David hardly dared imagine what might be going through Jake’s mind. Did he know?
Ryan cast him a look as he slowed in front of him, respect therein nil, which was pretty much what he deserved.
Jake appeared not to have even noticed him, his attention distracted by Ryan and Dougal, who, well-positioned in Jake’s arms, was intent on washing his face.
‘So, we’ll go every evening?’ he asked Ryan enthusiastically.
‘Yep,’ Ryan answered, ‘if you’re up for it. And now your dad’s getting you that dog you wanted …’
He was? Noting the meaningful glance Ryan slid in his direction, David guessed he probably was.
‘… we’ll probably have to go a couple of times at weekends to train it and stuff,’ Ryan went on obviously satisfied David had got the gist. ‘Dougal can show him the ropes.’
‘Cool,’ Jake said. ‘I bet my Labrador will be a lot faster than Dougal, though.’
Labrador? David blanched, thoughts of chewed carpets, table legs, puddles on the floor and general pandemonium in mind.
‘Not a
chance, mate. Dougal’ll run rings round him.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Jake laughed. ‘He’s only got two-inch legs.’
‘Yeah, but size doesn’t count, does it?’ Ryan replied smartly, causing David to wonder what mind-boggling conversation they’d had around that. ‘Do you want to go and say goodbye to Mum and Sophie?’ Ryan prompted Jake on as they neared the stairs. ‘You can make sure Dougal’s safe in the car, while you’re at it.’
‘No problem,’ Jake said, heading happily down. ‘Come on, Dougal,’ he said in the dog’s ear as he went, ‘you need to save your two-inch legs for when you race Homer.’
Ryan waited until Jake had disappeared out of the front door, then, ‘A black one,’ he informed David shortly, fixing him now with a look of pure ice cool contempt.
‘Right.’ David nodded, assuming they were talking about the dog.
‘He’s got his heart set on it. Don’t want to let him down, do you … again?’
David got that pointed message, loud and clear. ‘I’ll sort it,’ he assured him.
‘Good,’ Ryan said and headed onwards.
‘Ryan …’ David fumbled for a way to ask. ‘Jake, does he know?’
Ryan looked back at him. ‘What? That you’re a prat?’ he said, point blank.
‘And some.’ David glanced down under Ryan’s unflinching gaze.
‘As far as I know, no,’ Ryan put him out of his misery. ‘Sophie heard you and mum talking. She texted me, so … Don’t worry, we won’t rubbish you in Jake’s eyes. You seem to be doing a great job of that all by yourself. The kid can’t help it if his dad’s a dipstick, can he?’
‘Thanks,’ David said, relief flooding through him. Obviously Jake would have to know, but not right now, and not second-hand. David wasn’t sure he ought to be thanking Ryan for the insults, but then, he’d called himself pretty much all of that and more since last night.
‘We’ll go along with what you tell him. Mum likes Jake. She knows he needs all the help he can get.’ With that, Ryan dragged his unimpressed gaze away and turned back to the stairs.
David sighed and plunged his hands in his pockets. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said uselessly behind him, not knowing what else he could say.
Ryan glanced back. ‘Yeah, right. Doesn’t help anyone very much though, does it?’
What the hell? Jolted from a fitful sleep, David blinked a bead of sweat from his brow and tried to focus on the pale figure standing at the side of his bed.
‘Can I come in with you?’ Jake asked, dragging a hand under his nose and shivering from head to toe, David noticed.
‘What’s up, small-fry?’ he asked, throwing back the duvet.
‘I keep hearing things in my dreams,’ Jake said, immediately scrambling under it.
‘It’s just the pipes rattling, Jake. Nothing ominous,’ David assured him, trying hard to still a recollection of the haunting things he’d heard in his dreams, the urgent cry of a baby, the soft tears of a woman. He hadn’t been able to make out her face. Her form had been ethereal and surreal. The dream had been telling, prophetic and all too real.
Making room for him in the crook of his arm, he tucked the duvet up to Jake’s chin, and then lay awake, waiting until he was safely off to sleep. Hearing the steady rhythm of his breathing after a while, feeling the rise and fall of his chest as Jake drifted into settled slumber, David swallowed and eased his son a fraction closer. He wouldn’t know what to do without him. Jake had been his reason for living when the nightmares had been too many and the nights were too dark. He loved him. Simply wouldn’t know how to be without him.
And now there was another child. A child who would need him to be there, as he should have been for his unborn baby girl, and for Jake, consistent, caring, helping to show him … or her … the way in a world that seemed too big and overwhelming sometimes.
David had no idea what Sally might want, what kind of compromise they might come up with to provide a stable environment for that child.
He liked her, of course he did, but he didn’t love her, not in the way a person should love someone: enough to embark on parenting a child together as a couple. And, heartless though it might seem, he doubted he’d ever learn to love her. He would love his child though. He wouldn’t need to learn how to do that.
He wouldn’t use the word ‘mistake’ again either. No child should ever start life as that. It was a mess. There was no escaping that fact. A baby by a woman he didn’t have the right feelings for wasn’t something he’d planned on. But then, nor was losing the woman he’d loved, twice.
It had happened, though. He squeezed his eyes tight as images of Andrea, her lips soft on his, her body entwined with his, once again tormented his thoughts. He couldn’t change it, although he wished he could. And whatever Sally needed of him, whatever their child needed of him, he’d just have to make damn sure to provide it. Because one thing he was certain of: he wouldn’t neglect his responsibilities as a father ever again.
He’d get that dog, too, he decided, as his mind slowed, enticing him back to much-needed sleep, tomorrow, after morning surgery. A great lolloping black Labrador, chewed furniture, puddles on floors and all, because, right now, that’s what Jake needed to make his world safe.
Chapter Twenty-Two
David wasn’t sure he wasn’t going to regret it, however. Having already had to crawl around on his hands and knees trying to entice a quaking Homer from under the sofa, he now watched forlornly as it peed all over the shop floor.
‘Whoops-a-daisy.’ Eva rested her roller on her paint tray and whipped out a cloth. ‘Looks like you’re going to have your hands full, Doctor Adams,’ she said, bending to mop up the puddle.
‘And some,’ David despondently agreed, trying to get his head around how he was going to juggle puppies and babies and house decorating in duplicate, as well as his job and Jake, and then berated himself for allowing Eva to clean up the dog’s mess.
‘Eva, I’ll do it,’ he said, going over to assist her as she straightened up and obviously had another dizzy spell in the process. ‘You know you shouldn’t be overexerting yourself. On which subject, what the hell are you doing here?’
‘Decorating, dear boy,’ Eva informed him as he helped her across to a chair. ‘I’d have thought that was obvious.’
‘But I thought you said the decorators were in, Eva. I didn’t think you meant you were … Oh hell,’ David’s attention was diverted by the dog, who’d now decided on a thorough investigation of the premises.
‘They are,’ Eva said as David went back across the shop to extract Homer from the paint tray. ‘He’s just outside having a tea break. He’s a local man, very reliable and … Ah, here he is now.’
A cigarette break, David deduced she meant, as a man, who looked about as likely to climb up a ladder as fly, hobbled in through the back entrance – one dodgy knee obvious and wheezing like an asthmatic.
‘This is Bob, Hibberton’s local DIY man,’ Eva introduced him, at which Bob coughed heartily, and then limped over to pick up the cuppa he’d obviously forgotten to take out on his ‘tea’ break from the floor.
Unfortunately, the dog got to it first. ‘Homer … Sorry,’ David apologised for his recalcitrant charge and plucked up the dog before it could do any more damage.
‘Not to worry, doctor. We’ve got plenty of teabags, haven’t we, Eva?’ Giving David a smile and Eva a wink, Bob limped over to flick the kettle on, signalling another imminent tea break. ‘Lifeblood,’ he said, over another lung-rattling wheeze.
Yes, and you might need some, David thought despairingly, if you keep sucking on those things.
‘Right, better get on.’ Bob wandered painfully over to a pot of paint. ‘We’ll soon have this place fixed up, hey, Eva?’
David watched as the man struggled to lever the lid from the tin with a screwdriver and doubted very much whether Bob would be fixing anything up any time soon.
‘You’re a one man band then, Bob, are you?’ he ventured to ask, whilst trying t
o hang on to a wriggling Homer, who was probably very likely to pee all over him.
‘He has an assistant,’ Eva supplied, while Bob caught his breath, and then tried again with the lid. ‘Darren’s not with him today, though, is he, Bob?’
‘Sorry, Eva?’ Bob’s attention was still on his pot.
‘Young Darren, I said he’s not with you today,’ Eva shouted as Bob plucked up his hammer to give the screwdriver a good thwack.
‘No, not today, Eva.’ Bob gave the screwdriver another blow, and then looked mightily pleased with himself as the lid finally popped off. ‘Missus is poorly again, apparently. She’s expecting twins,’ he addressed David. ‘I expect you’ve had the pleasure?’
‘Er …?’
Ignoring what could conceivably be a double entendre, David tried to recall seeing a mum expectant with twins, then almost choked when Eva said drolly, ‘Not yet, no.’
‘Sorry?’ Bob cocked an ear.
‘Nothing.’ Eva gave David an arch look. ‘I was just saying, I don’t think the doctor has got around to all his female patients yet.’
Cheers, Eva. David sighed and eyed the ceiling, which was also in need of painting.
‘Right, well, sitting around here all day won’t get the job done.’ Eva eased herself to her feet, and gave David a vigorous pat on the cheek. ‘Don’t look so worried, Doctor Adams, I know your heart’s in the right place,’ she said, going back to her roller, ‘even if certain other parts of your anatomy tend to go wandering.’
‘Eva …’ David sighed in earnest. It was no more than he deserved, he knew, but he’d really hoped Eva wasn’t a gossipmonger. He’d been counting on her to keep his involvement in the property purchase to herself, at least for now. Buying his way into Andrea’s affections wasn’t on his agenda. He doubted Andrea would be very impressed if she thought he might be. Making sure she and the kids had a decent roof over their heads, in absence of Eden doing anything practical, was.
Eva came back across the shop, roller and tray in hand and a wily look in her eye. ‘He’s hard of hearing,’ she told David.
Learning to Love Page 25
