She knew she was laying it on thick, but she’d been so excited to have Mark finally meet Rhys. She really wanted them to get along. Rhys’ opinion meant so much to her. Growing up, his advice had never led her astray. If he approved, then she knew she had made the right decision.
It was important she make the right choice now. Childhood was behind her and life was suddenly speeding up. Her eyes found Julian and Milan swaying together to a ballad whose tune she could barely make out over the bar’s noise. In a few days Jules would be married. Rhys had already moved away. Pretty soon it would just be her and Luke: His photography career was slowly coming along, and she liked her job at the local public school. A full-time position was available. She could stay here and be very comfortable.
But Mark.
Mark’s work had been taking him back and forth to Japan with increasing frequency, and he had told her recently that there was a strong possibility he would be transferred to a post in Tokyo for a multi-year project. He’d asked her what she thought, and she’d made a joke about sushi and let the topic slide.
She hadn’t been able to get it out of her head though. His question implied a lot of things. Was he asking if she would go with him? And if so, in what capacity? Sure, they were dating exclusively now, but was he hinting at a greater commitment?
Mark was an ambitious man and he made no apologies for it. He would move around the world if it advanced his career. Was she ready for that? Did she want that? Rhys’ return couldn’t have come at a better time. She needed another opinion and his was golden.
“Don’t listen to her,” Rhys tossed another nut in her direction and this time she caught it and popped it in her mouth. “She’s been known to exaggerate on occasion.”
“Not about this,” she took a peanut and held it up for Mark. He inspected it then opened wide.
Julian worked his way over to the bar, moving through the other dancers in rhythm to the music and pulling Milan along with him. He deposited her on an empty stool and leaned forward to get the bartender’s attention. He placed his order and looked over his shoulder to see what Milan wanted; she shook her head no.
So, it was going to be one of those nights.
He slipped his wallet back in his pocket and took a long swig of his beer. The place had been very busy when they’d arrived, but the crowd was starting to thin. A group of college-age kids were moving on, leaving behind only a small contingent of die-hard darts players.
Julian nursed his drink, remembering the hours that he, Rhys and Luke had spent whizzing barbs at that same target. He and Luke would go at it, but Rhys never really cared. The darts in the wall were usually his. It was one of the few areas where it was Luke and him instead him and Rhys.
Milan cleared her throat, jolting him back to the present to find her looking at him intensely. “I said,” she ran her finger along his jaw and stopped at his chin, “you are going to shave this off before the wedding, right?”
He’d been sporting a goatee for the past few months. Milan didn’t like it. He ignored the question and catching Rhys’ eye across the room, raised his bottle high. Rhys nodded and started to scoot out of the booth.
“Bartender,” Julian called, leaning once again against the bar, “I’ll have another.”
“Would you look at her?” Milan nudged Julian. “Poor Rhys. Carolyn has him trapped over there with the colossal bore. She’s so selfish.”
“Hey!” Julian objected, deliberately misunderstanding, “he’s not so bad.”
“Well, she is!” Milan said. “Do you think maybe she could give up a little bit of the spotlight and let Rhys out of her sight for a sec? She’s going on and on about Mark. I’m sure the first thing Rhys wanted to do when he got back home was be subjected to the Encyclopedia Britannica’s rundown on her boyfriend. Look, he couldn’t wait to escape,” Milan added triumphantly.”
“Milan, please—”
“What? You know I’m right.”
What he knew was that she was starting to get on his nerves and he let his expression speak for him. She matched his glare with an equally expressive, wide-eyed “What, me?” one of her own.
“Why are you so bothered?” he asked, and Milan rolled her eyes.
He turned away and waited for Rhys to work his way around the dance floor, but something in Julian couldn’t let it go. He wanted a straight answer. “She’s his sister; she’s missed him.”
“Julian,” Milan never called him Jules and tonight that irritated him, too. “I’m not bothered. I just think that maybe Rhys would like to spend some time with his real friends on his first night back instead of making small talk with someone he just met.”
Her syrupy-sweet tone might have worked had Julian not been listening closely to what she was saying. He just looked at her and, not getting the response she wanted, Milan tried a new tactic.
“I was just looking out for you.”
“And how is that?” he asked, putting her on the spot.
She took a second to answer, but with a sweet smile she said, “Well, I know you were just as excited to see Rhys as she was—maybe even more so. I mean you are his best friend,” she placed a hand on his waist lightly, an empathetic touch designed to soothe. “You would think that she wouldn’t monopolize him all night.” Milan turned her head slightly so she could watch Rhys as he approached, “You can’t tell me Rhys doesn’t look as if he’s heard enough about good old Mark now, can you?”
Julian shook his head and tried to change the subject. “Come on, let’s dance,” he moved her hand from his waist and tried to get her off her stool.
“I don’t want to dance anymore, Julian,” she nearly bit the words out and pulled her hand from his.
He knew she was annoyed that he had seen through her sudden concern for his feelings, but he was now irritated too, and snapped back at her, “Well then what do you want to do? Sit here all night and piss me off?”
She lowered her lids and said seductively, “Only if we get to make up afterwards.”
His harsh grunt was indicative of how he felt about her suggestion, but he felt he needed to be clear. He took a few moments to collect his thoughts and control his tongue. “You know, Milan,” he marshaled his words, “I came here to have a good time tonight. My good friend is back home. I’m out and everybody is having a good time—except you. Why is that?” he waited for an answer. “You know what? I don’t care why.”
Milan blinked in surprise at her fiancé’s harsh words, and she was glad that his fumbling with his wallet distracted him long enough to keep him from seeing the stricken look on her face.
Julian pulled out a few bills and tossed them on the bar. “Here, buy yourself something to drink. Sip it slowly and enjoy. I’m going to go find someone who wants to dance.” He grabbed the beer he’d ordered for Rhys and backed into the crowd.
She sat perfectly still and followed him with her eyes as he crossed the room, handed off the beer to Rhys and then whispered something into the ear of a smiling, perky little thing. The girl took one look at his killer smile, broad shoulders and slim hips that were already moving to the beat and followed him onto the dance floor without appearing to think twice.
Straightening her shoulders, Milan picked up the money Julian had left on the bar and slipped it in her purse. She caught sight of Rhys’ back just as he ducked around the corner that led to the men’s room. The booth she had abandoned earlier was empty; Mark and Carolyn were now also dancing.
In a room full of people, Milan was all alone sitting at the bar and feeling like a fool while her fiancé was having way too much fun dancing with someone else.
“I hate this place.” Taking one last look at Julian, she got up and walked out the door.
CHAPTER THREE
Milan got as far as the entrance doors before she realized she had no transportation. She had driven with Julian and God knows she was not about to go back into that place. In the vestibule between the two sets of doors, Milan looked through the frosted panes into the bar. Even with
this crappy view she could make out the silhouettes of Julian and Rhys, who were now both huddled over her boyfriend’s Dancing Queen at the bar. Apparently, the little dancer said something funny because she heard both Rhys and Julian’s loud laughter.
The scene caused the back of her eyes to sting. She caught her breath as her throat tightened and she tried to stave off the unfamiliar urge to cry. How did I end up on the outside?
Unwilling to be That Girl, Milan would not let herself cry, but she couldn’t keep the tears from pooling up in her eyes. Inside, the guys were laughing again and she felt a chill descend down her back. It took her a moment to realize that it wasn’t the scene she was witnessing that had made her shiver. The door behind was open and a cool breeze was swirling around her. A familiar voice filled the close space.
“You can always hear Rhys’ laugh, can’t you?”
Milan turned her face away before Luke could see her.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked. “Are we leaving already?”
She shook her head and turned so that Luke could only see her profile. She hoped he wouldn’t notice her awkward stance.
“Oh,” Luke reached for the inner door, “Why are you out here?”
It was as if life had it in for her tonight. The moment that she least wanted to show any vulnerability was the moment when she lost the strength to keep it all together. Milan tried so hard to keep her composure, but a single tear escaped her lashes and drifted silently down her face to the corner of her mouth.
“Milan...what’s the matter?”
Various solutions crashed through her head as she tried to determine her best response. She could play it off as if she had an eyelash in her eye. She could be tough—nothing’s wrong. She could—
But she couldn’t. At that moment, Milan did not have the strength to cover up her feelings and pretend that everything was alright. She looked Luke in the eye and in a halting voice said, “I just feel like I’m all alone tonight.”
In Luke she saw sincere concern for her and also confusion—as if the thought of seeing her in such a state was incomprehensible. That bewildered look in his eye was embarrassing; people never understood her. This was why she kept her walls up. Immediately, she started to rebuild.
“I don’t like it. I don’t like that feeling at all,” she said and stepped away.
Luke wouldn’t let her go, though. With a gently confident tug, he pulled her close. Being a shoulder to cry on was something Luke was good at. This she knew. Milan let herself release the tension that was holding her together and keeping her body so rigid. She leaned into Luke’s embrace and allowed herself the luxury of letting someone else take care of her for just a little while.
“You’re not alone, you know,” he said into the softness of her hair. Milan’s head fit just under his chin. “We’re all here for you whenever you need us. You just have to let us know that you do need us.”
“That’s hard to do. Especially for me,” she said into the vee of his shirt. His skin was warm—hot actually.
“I know. I could sorta tell that about you.”
She smiled and her cheek pressed into his chest. It felt nice, this moment of leaning on someone, drawing strength from someone. When she felt like she was together again, Milan pulled back and looked up at Luke. What she saw surprised her and she quickly dropped her eyes.
Why hadn’t she ever noticed it before? She was not one of those women who couldn’t tell when a man was interested in them. The fact that Luke had kept his feelings hidden from her—either she was losing her focus or Luke was that good at hiding his emotions.
She’d always enjoyed knowing that she had attracted a man’s attention, but tonight Luke had picked up the pieces of her rejection by the man she was to marry in seven days. He’d done it not because he thought she was “hot,” but because he really cared.
Knowing that truth made her feel whole again, and Luke deserved to know it. She locked eyes with him, “Thank you,” she murmured, and then she slowly lowered her lids, went up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his.
Luke’s eyes had followed that one tear along its crooked path until it rested on Milan’s bottom lip. All the while, he felt as if he was witnessing the collapse of a bright star—an event so rare and so wonderful that all you could do was watch in rapt wonder.
Could this be Milan, the girl who always had it together? The woman who never let ‘em see her sweat? He had been so surprised he couldn’t think. He was jolted back to life when she reached her hand up and self-consciously wiped the tear’s track from her face.
He was struck dumb once again when she kissed him.
Oh, he’d imagined this before alright, but his fantasies had never come close to the real thing. Her lips were softer, her breath sweeter. The woman of his dreams was in his arms and not once had he ever seen this happening.
He had never seen this side of her, either. To him, she had always sparkled like a cut diamond, and she had the cold, sharp edges of the gem as well. This sudden softness only added to his attraction for her. And it was an attraction that he could never reveal to anyone. Besides, it had always been Julian for her anyway.
Julian.
Luke pulled back and glanced quickly through the inner doors’ glass. He would not make this awkward. It didn’t mean anything. It was just a kiss. She didn’t even know how he felt about her. He would be cool and just go back to admiring her from afar.
“I guess you don’t want to go back in there?” He stepped back and she let her hands drop from his chest.
“No, not really. Not right now.”
She was so self-possessed, as if a moment ago she hadn’t been crying. As if that kiss had never happened. Meanwhile, his insides where churning like a blender on pulse.
Luke licked his lips and inhaled deeply, “Well what do you say we hang out, out here? I’ll go get us some drinks—now that I can—and we can sit right over there and have our own party.”
“Now that you can?” her eyes were alight with inquisition.
“Yeah. Can you believe I was carded? There’s a new girl in there and she wouldn’t believe this sweet baby face of mine was over 21. I just went to the car to get my wallet. I guess I should be flattered, right?”
Milan smiled and his heart, which had started to return to its normal rhythm, sped up again.
“So what are you drinking?” he asked.
“I don’t know. Surprise me. I’ll be waiting right here.”
* * *
Inside, Rhys and Julian were doing what they did best: meeting women. Ordinarily, Luke would hover in their zone and try to benefit from their bounty, but he had no interest tonight. No other woman in this place could compare to Milan. Julian had to be crazy.
Luke had no idea what had happened between the two of them, but clearly there was some rift because Julian was surrounded by girls and acting like he used to long before he’d met Milan.
Whenever they had gone out, Julian and Rhys always ended up encircled by women. With the wedding only a week away, Luke thought those days were over. Clearly, that was a wrong assumption.
Luke headed to the smaller bar on the other side of the seating area. He had no desire to have to explain why he was getting drinks for Julian’s girlfriend. Then again, why was Julian dancing with some chick while Milan was outside crying? Same old Jules. Avoid the issue and it will work itself out.
“What can I get ya?”
Luke dragged his attention away from the guys’ antics and frowned. Their waitress from earlier was now tending bar. She looked at him like she’d never seen him before. Luke placed his drink order.
“Can I see some ID please?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Luke looked at her like she was crazy. She stared back at him, all five foot two inches of her. She was unmovable. He reached into his back pocket and extracted his license.
“What? Is this your first day on the job? Are you carding everybody or is it just me?”
&nbs
p; She gave him a once over and inspected the plastic card closely, “Alright, Luke. Coming right up.”
He watched her as she mixed the drinks. How long it had been since he’d been here last? Did the wait staff not know him anymore? Rhys bellowed his name from across the room and Luke waved at him. His brother was home and happy.
“Here you go, Luke,” she slid the drinks across the bar, seemingly peppy now.
He looked suspiciously at her and handed her a twenty. While she made change, he took a sip of his drink and thought of the woman waiting outside for him. Milan had kissed him. Hell, he was happy too! If this girl hadn’t made him go get his license, that kiss would never have happened. He looked at her with new appreciation.
“Keep the change.” Luke grabbed Milan’s drink and made his way to the exit.
SUNDAY
CHAPTER FOUR
His blankets rose and fell with each deep breath. Somewhere hidden underneath all those coverings lay Luke, slowly coming to consciousness. He opened the one eye that wasn’t mashed into his pillow and stared straight ahead until the forms in front of him began to take shape. He didn’t blink. His mind hadn’t quite recognized the fact that he was awake yet. He just lay there. But then it happened: He heard a sound he recognized. There was no going back now. He was awake.
Inhaling through his mouth, Luke found an arm and extended it through the knotted sheets and over his head in his first attempt at a morning stretch. He continued to lie there—half on his stomach, half on his side—listening to the hushed sounds of padded feet on the wooden steps in the hall outside his room. He closed his eyes again and waited for the sound he knew would come next.
The slight clang of metal dragging along the floor was almost muffled by a rhythmic thumping that could be a rolled up newspaper beating against a wooden door post if one didn’t know better. Luke knew better.
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