The other best gift (a less sweet, prickly, stubborn, passionate, smartarse one) he’d ever gotten stirred next his wee sister, but he steadfastly ignored Jocelyn as Els asked, “What time is it?”
“It’s past noon. I’ve made you some lunch.”
Braden felt Jocelyn’s eyes on him but he kept his on Ellie as she whispered, “I’m not hungry.”
Prepared for that, Braden shook his head stubbornly. “You need to eat. Come on, sweetheart, time to get up.”
Leading Ellie by the hand, he faltered when Ellie asked, “Joss, you coming?”
Good thing he’d made her some lunch, too. The petty inclination to leave her to starve had reared its ugly head, but it went against his nature not to look after her, so he’d made her scrambled eggs on toast once he’d made Ellie’s.
While he watched to make sure Ellie was eating, Braden was very much aware of the increasingly horrendous tension between him and Jocelyn, and although he tried his best, every time she came near him his anger made him instinctively move away from her.
Ellie caught on fast after that. “What’s going on?” she asked softly.
Not wanting her to worry about anything but getting through her doctor’s appointment, Braden mumbled “nothing” at the exact time Jocelyn did.
“Guys,” his sister said, looking suddenly stricken, “did the doctor call?”
He immediately felt like a Class A prick. For all his promises to himself to put Ellie first, he’d fucked up right away by letting Jocelyn get under his skin.
“No, Els,” he assured her. “We’ve the appointment with Dr. Dunham later this afternoon, just as planned.”
“Then why are you two acting strangely?”
He didn’t say a word and yet a few seconds later she guessed it.
“You broke up,” she said, looking so despondent more guilt crashed over him.
When he felt particularly guilty Braden did what he knew best: ordered people around. “Els, you should get in the shower, brighten yourself up a bit. You’ll feel better.”
She ignored him. “Because of me? You broke up because of me?”
“No, Ellie,” Jocelyn answered for them and he felt his muscles tighten at the sound of her voice. “Not because of you. This had nothing to do with you, and it’s done. We’re okay. Don’t worry about us. We’re getting through this minus the drama.”
So you fucking think, Braden just stopped himself from glowering at her.
Ellie jutted her chin out, her expression mulish, and Braden was actually happy to see the fire back in her eyes, even if he was to blame for it. “You’re clearly not talking to each other, though. What happened?”
Not wanting Ellie to feel like she’d caused this and letting the part of him that Jocelyn had hurt take control of his mouth, he said, “She doesn’t love me, and I think she’s an untrustworthy, cold bitch. Now get in the shower.”
Braden watched his sister’s eyes fly to Jocelyn’s face. His girlfriend’s expression was hidden from him but watching Ellie’s pale skin turn even more wan, and hearing the hurt reprimand she gave him just saying his name, he knew he’d wounded Jocelyn.
More guilt made him feel even more pissed off. “Shower. Now.”
Her worried eyes flew to Jocelyn.
“Ellie, shower,” she said, sounding surprisingly composed for someone he’d apparently wounded.
“You’re worse than my parents,” Ellie murmured, dragging her exhausted body out of the kitchen, leaving him alone with her roommate.
Like it had been waiting for Els to leave, his anger stoked to new life and he clenched his hands into fists to keep from yelling just for the hell of it. He held it together though. Braden needed a reaction out of her, anything to give away her true feelings. He took a breath and managed calmly enough, “You left some of your shit at my place. I’ll drop it off this week.” When Hell freezes over.
“I’ll get your things together for you,” she answered softly.
Not the answer he’d been hoping for.
New tactic? Perhaps something a little friendlier?
Braden cleared his throat. “You came back for her?”
“Well, sometimes untrustworthy, cold bitches keep their word.”
His blood instantly heated with indignation and he slammed his mug down on the counter. Just for once could she not put that fucking armor of hers away? This was Ellie they were talking about. “She doesn’t need your charity or your fucking guilt.”
“She doesn’t have my charity or my guilt.”
His eyes finally flew to her. She stood leaning against the kitchen counter, her usually healthy, olive-toned complexion was dulled with pain and fear. Her eyes kept shifting away from his, like she couldn’t bear to look at him.
Heart-fucking-broken.
She was such a Goddamn liar.
The anger took hold again. “So I was right last night, then? Unlike me, she has your love.”
Tell me you love me, Jocelyn. Be brave and fucking tell me.
“Braden…” she choked on his name and for one moment he thought she was breaking. He held himself still, waiting. “You don’t love me either, Braden.”
It was like she’d shot him. Point blank range.
How dare she! How fuc—
Braden fought for control, inwardly struggling while on the outside he kept his face icily impassive. The hurt he felt was unbelievable. He’d shown pieces of himself to her he’d shown to no one, and she dared to throw that in his face, to rewrite their history in order to make up for her own shortcomings.
In that moment he lost himself in the need to hurt her back. “You’re right.” He said stonily. “I don’t love you. I’m just annoyed I have to look for a new arrangement, especially when the old one wasn’t half bad.”
Jocelyn turned away instantly, depriving him of her expression, but he saw the tension in her shoulders and wondered if his words sliced as deeply as hers. “I’d hoped that we could still be friends, but clearly you don’t want that. So can we just agree not to talk to each other unless we have to for Ellie’s sake?”
God, he wanted to shake her. “If it were up to me, for Ellie’s sake, I’d kick your arse out and tell you never to darken our doorstep again. But Ellie doesn’t need that right now.”
Her head flew up at that and Braden felt triumphant that at least that got a reaction. If anything, he wouldn’t doubt her feelings for his wee sister. “Are you kidding?”
Still, he pushed. “No. I can’t trust you. You’re fucked up. I don’t think Ellie needs that.”
“Last night you wanted me here for Ellie.”
He shrugged, watching her eyes flare with anger at the casual movement and getting a perverse satisfaction out of it. “I’ve had time to think about it. If I could, I’d get rid of you. But that would just cause Ellie more pain. She doesn’t need that right now.”
“You could do that?” she whispered, shocked by his cold indifference. “Just throw me out of your life?”
And now they were getting somewhere. Just one more push. “Why not? You did it to me last night.”
Her eyes narrowed in outrage. “No. I broke up with you. I didn’t throw you out of my life.”
Same difference.
“But if I had known how little I really did mean to you, I probably would have.”
Oh no she didn’t, he thought, feeling that heat in his blood turn to flames. She was not playing the victim in this scenario. Didn’t she realize she’d fucking cut him in half last night when she told him she didn’t love him? “Oh, that’s right. You don’t love me, but you care about me. Well… I could give a shit about you.”
He waited a second for a reaction and got nothing but the obstinate locking of her jaw.
“As a matter of fact, I fucked someone else last night.” The shitty words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, the devil inside him, that bitter part of him that needed a reaction more than anything else, slipping past his control.
Watching her
physically react to the words, Braden would have given anything to take them back. Guilt gutted his belly like a knife as he watched her jerk back like he’d hit her, her mouth parting as though he’d knocked the wind out of her.
Her eyes, rounded with horror, began to fill with tears.
He’d never felt like a bigger shit in his entire life, hating himself for hurting her. Jocelyn. He only ever wanted to protect to her and he’d fucking hurt her.
Self-recrimination somehow made him even madder at her even as he shot toward her to comfort her. “I fucking knew it,” he hissed.
“Don’t touch me!” she yelled at him, stumbling back from him as fury mingled with the pain in her eyes.
“Don’t touch you?” Braden shook with emotion he couldn’t seem to get a handle on. “I’m going to kill you!”
“Me?” she shrieked and promptly turned to grab a plate off the dish rack. A second later Braden ducked to avoid the missile flying for his head. “I’m not the one who fucked someone two seconds after we broke up!”
She reached for a glass but Braden was done. He was on her before she could grab at it, pinning her wrists to her sides as he pressed his body into hers to restrain her against the counter.
“Let me go!” Jocelyn sobbed, struggling violently with him and making something sharp and devastating twist in his chest. “Just let me go! I hate you. I hate you!”
No, she loved him. “Shh. Shh, Jocelyn,” he was almost begging her, he couldn’t stand that he’d done this. He’d wanted a reaction, though, and now he had to deal with the consequences of being a complete and utter bastard. “Shh, don’t say that. Don’t say that. I didn’t mean it. I lied. I was angry. I’m a fucking idiot. I lied. I was with Elodie all night,” he confessed, desperate now for her to believe him. “You can call her and ask—she’ll tell you the truth. You know I would never do to you what was done to me.”
Braden felt her struggling cease as his words penetrated. He wasn’t lying. He would never cheat on anyone. And he most definitely would never cheat on Jocelyn.
He loved her.
Though, he sensed a battle ahead, Braden’s anger had dissipated. He’d hurt Jocelyn and he felt like a right bloody git, but he also felt assured.
Today he’d find out whether his little sister had a fight on her hands, a battle he’d determinedly fight with her. But for now he felt less burdened than he had that morning because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jocelyn Butler loved him back. She’d admitted it, even if she hadn’t said it with words. They both knew. She couldn’t take that back.
So while Braden fought for Ellie, he’d be fighting for Jocelyn, too.
5
Braden’s POV – The Plane Ticket
ON DUBLIN STREET
Ellie’s bedroom had been transformed while she was in the hospital. Braden took in the changes. The bed now looked like something out of a homestyle magazine. There were more cushions on there than twenty people needed. However Ellie seemed delighted. Everywhere Braden looked there were touches that proved Jocelyn had come to know Ellie extremely well over the last few months. Sitting on a new breakfast tray, that swung over the bed so Ellie didn’t have to get up to eat, were fresh flowers. Chocolates. On her bedside table were her favorite magazines. Puzzle and crossword books. There was now also a small flat screen television and DVD player in her room. And the bedding and cushions were all in her favorite shades of green.
He studied Ellie’s face and his heart started to pound harder at the wonderment and affection that softened her features. “Oh my God.” Her gaze flew to Jocelyn. “You did all this?”
Jocelyn shrugged. “It’s not much.”
The fact that she was uncomfortable with what she’d done made Braden want to stride across the room and hold her. He’d never met anyone so capable of love and so bloody terrified of expressing it. Braden was trying to show her that loving him, loving this family, would be the best thing Jocelyn would ever do. But the woman was trying his patience. He thought giving her space would make her miss him. That she’d see how shit life was when they were apart. However, he’d underestimated her stubbornness.
“You’re a little bit awesome.” Ellie moved toward Jocelyn slowly, reminding him of the physical trauma his sweet wee sister had just gone through. “I love it, thank you.”
He glowered as the two friends hugged. For fuck sake, Ellie had been braver than most people this week. Surely to hell her courage was inspiring to Jocelyn.
Eyes narrowed on his woman, he watched her boss his sister around and felt his heart pound faster as the last of his patience diminished.
Adam helped Ellie off with her shoes and into the bed and Elodie started giving Jocelyn instructions on her care. She happily accepted her role as Ellie’s nurse. Braden knew it was a start. But her defenses weren’t crumbling fast enough for his liking. In fact, she hadn’t looked at him once since they’d gotten there. While her defenses with Ellie were down, her defenses with him seemed to have grown a new armor-plated layer.
What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck?
“And then she has a check-up three months after that.” Elodie was telling Jocelyn. “If everything’s fine, it’ll be a year after that.”
Jocelyn’s frown melted into a soft smile of hope as she gazed at his sister and in that moment he envied Ellie. Which was bloody ridiculous, he knew. “Wait. You got your biopsy results?”
Ellie glared accusingly at them. “No one told her?”
Irritated by the assumption that it was their fault he threw Jocelyn a pointed look. “Maybe if she would stop avoiding everyone someone might have.”
Again she ignored him as she waved at the room. His irritation grew to anger. “Hello! Results please?”
Ellie grinned. “Benign.”
Watching her sag with relief made Braden even madder. He should have been the one to give her the news when they first heard it and his arms should have been around her to catch her as she deflated with assuaged fears.
“That really should have been the opener.”
“Sorry,” Ellie said.
Braden felt like snapping at her not to apologize. None of this was Ellie’s fault. The fault belonged to this fucking woman who couldn’t just admit she had a fucking heart and she fucking loved them with it.
Conversation passed between the group but he wasn’t listening anymore. He needed to get Jocelyn alone. Ellie needed her rest and not to be witness to an upcoming confrontation.
Suddenly Jocelyn was heading for the door. Braden automatically blocked her path. “We need to talk.” He gave her no time to respond, turning on his heel and walking out of the room. He strode down the hall and into her bedroom, hearing her follow behind him.
As soon as she was inside the bedroom, he strode past her to lock it so she couldn’t escape.
“We could talk in the sitting room,” she said, sounding put out and irritable.
It was something at least. Anything was better than avoidance and indifference.
And there it was. The thing that had taken root. The indifference. The fear the indifference had created. Because indifference suggested she might have moved on. If his woman had moved on…
Bloody hell.
He almost rubbed his chest where a sudden pain had blazed.
Like always when Jocelyn was near he needed to be nearer. He stalked her, loving the way her chin tilted in defiance as he invaded her personal space entirely. He knew her well enough to know that she wanted to back up, take some breathing space, but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking she needed it. Even when it annoyed him, her steely determination turned him on.
Let’s face it, everything this woman did turned him on.
She’d forever changed him.
That wouldn’t bother him so much if she could just admit the feeling was mutual. But times like now, when she fought him, when she made him work so fucking hard for it, he almost resented her. He’d more than resent her if he found out there was someone else.
If he wasn’t mistaken she looked genuinely confused by his comment. “Uh, what?”
Wondering at the confusion, his eyes narrowed as he studied her, trying to understand her response. Was this another game of defense? Or worse. She did believe their separation was real and she’d found someone else? He needed to know. “You’re never here. Are you seeing someone else? Because I swear to God—”
“Are you kidding me?” She yelled.
That flush of indignation. That anger.
The pain in his chest disappeared and he had to stop himself from grinning. There was no one else then. That still didn’t explain anything. “Well, what the hell is going on?”
Jocelyn drew in a shaky breath. His fingers itched to touch her but he held himself in check. “You’re an asshole. Coming in here and accusing me of messing around behind your back when you’re the one who’s screwing his new nightclub manager.”
Shock rocked him back.
What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck?
Where did she get this shit?
Was this her latest attempt to push him away?
For the second time since they’d met he found himself truly disappointed in her. The last—her behavior toward Ellie—she’d more than made up for. But he couldn’t see her making up for this. This was a new low. And he hadn’t expected it of her. He tried to control his anger as he said, “Isla? You think I’m fucking Isla? I don’t believe this.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a look of disgust. “Ellie told me everything.”
Now Braden was flabbergasted.
Jocelyn hadn’t invented the idea? His sister…. What? “Ellie? What exactly did Ellie tell you?”
“She met you for lunch. The two of you met her and Adam for lunch and she said that you were all over each other.”
Trying to process this new information he took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. When Jocelyn stared at his body and flushed he almost growled. He’d bet his life she’d just had a dirty thought about him and instead of pouncing on that he had to stand here and work out what the hell had been going on lately. If he didn’t know she was worth the drama…
On Dublin Street: The Bonus Material Page 4
