They stared at each other. She knew she wasn’t going to win this one. Cal would buy his disgusting cereal and there wasn’t anything she could do about it, except maybe pick out something slightly more nutritional and hope that Anastasia had a little common sense.
“Fine.” She grabbed a box of whole grain cereal and tossed it in the cart as well. “You’re determined to always get your way.”
“I know. It’s why you like me.”
She didn’t reply to that. What was the point? She couldn’t deny that she did like him, for an assortment of reasons. Having won the current skirmish, he strolled ahead of her. She watched him go, trying not to notice the way he moved with an easy male grace. His legs were long and muscled. His butt, well, religions had been based on less impressive shrines. He was a package worth remembering, but not for her. She might be susceptible, but she wasn’t stupid.
She followed him up the aisle. “You’re going to have to hire a housekeeper,” she said. “Now that Anastasia is living with you, cleaning people every couple of weeks aren’t going to be enough. Someone will have to cook and be there to look after her when she comes home from school. Maybe a live-in, or at least someone full-time.”
“I agree.”
“I’ll add it to my list of things to do,” she said, having known when she mentioned the subject that she would be the person calling the agencies and interviewimg candidates. It was, after all, part of her job. “Until we get someone in, I can take care of the cooking.”
Cal looked surprised. “You can cook?”
“Most people can fix a few things. Don’t look so surprised. I make a terrific spaghetti sauce, not to mention a meat loaf that could win awards.”
“A woman of many talents. What else have you been keeping from me?”
Brown eyes focused on her. She felt her heart pick up the pace a little. Ignore this, she reminded herself. Cal was her boss and nothing else.
“You’ll have to wait and find out,” she told him, then deliberately turned away to study the display of coffee. Perhaps reading about different kinds of beans would be enough to distract her.
Anastasia rounded the end of the aisle and started toward them. She was still too thin, but at least she looked better in her new clothes. She was pale, but she would tan quickly, Sabrina thought, then added sunscreen to the lengthy shopping list.
“I forgot to ask,” Sabrina said as the girl got closer. “Do you have any food allergies?”
The preteen shrugged. “I hate vegetables.”
Sabrina shot Cal a warning glance before he chimed in that he did, too. “Hating isn’t the same as being allergic, so the short answer is no, right?”
Anastasia’s mouth twisted into a frown. “Vegetables make me throw up.”
“Oh, is that all? You’re going to have to work harder than that if you plan to avoid eating them.” She made a couple of notes on her list.
Anastasia tossed a box of cupcakes into the cart. Sabrina stared at the treat. She’d forgotten what it had been like when she’d shopped with her brother and sisters, but it was all coming back.
“I’m buying enough food for about six days,” Sabrina said. “You’re welcome to select a treat for yourself, but only one and it has to last all six days. So if you want that box of cupcakes, it’s fine with me. But that’s it. No chips, no candy. Or you take it back and pick something else. It’s up to you.”
Anastasia stared at her uncomprehending. “He’s rich.”
Sabrina assumed the “he” in question was Cal, and that the statement about him being rich meant that money wasn’t an issue.
“So?” she asked.
“So I should get what I want.”
“That would be a no. There aren’t many ‘shoulds’ in this household. However, there are plenty of ‘wills’ as in you will follow the rules and this is one of them. You can get what we decide you can get, and for now, that means one treat for the week. I would suggest picking something with six servings so you can enjoy it every day, but that’s up to you.”
Sometime during the conversation Cal had come up behind her. Sabrina felt his presence. For a second she wondered if he was going to contradict her, but he didn’t. When Anastasia turned her attention to him, he grinned. “She’s right, kid.”
The girl grabbed the box of cupcakes. “I hate you both,” she said, and started down the aisle.
“That was pleasant,” Sabrina said, trying to keep her voice even. She had known it was going to be tough; she’d even known she was going to be more involved with Anastasia than her job description indicated. But being right wasn’t always enough to make up for the difficulties of the moment.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Cal said.
“Somehow I doubt that.”
“You’re thinking that she’s scared and alone and that she needs to figure out how far she can push us.”
Sabrina stared at him in surprise. “I would have guessed the ‘alone and scared’ part, but I hadn’t thought about boundary testing. You’re exactly right. This is an unfamiliar situation for her, and she needs to learn how far she’s allowed to go at any given time. I’m impressed.”
“Hey, I’m an impressive kind of guy.”
He was, she thought with resignation. Always had been, always would be. The truth was, Cal never lacked for female companionship because most women found him completely irresistible. No doubt Anastasia would soon join the fan club.
They rounded the next aisle and saw Anastasia reading a teen magazine. When she glanced up and noticed them, she scowled and moved away.
“She wasn’t kidding,” he said unhappily. “She really hates us.”
“Everyone needs to adjust, Cal. You can’t take it too personally.”
“She’s my daughter. How am I supposed to take it?”
“Slowly. Carefully. There aren’t going to be any easy answers.”
He nodded. “I didn’t think it would be like this.”
“I know.” He thought it would be simple. But few things in life ever were. “The good news is, you won’t have to do this on your own for very long.”
“I don’t have to do this on my own now. I have you.”
She grabbed a couple of cans of tomatoes, along with some tomato sauce. If she was going to make Gram’s famous spaghetti sauce, she needed all the ingredients. “That’s not what I meant,” she told him. “I’m talking about something permanent.”
“You’re permanent. Aren’t you?”
Oops! She hadn’t meant to hint at anything. “Okay, bad word choice,” she said, recovering quickly. “What I’m trying to say is that I just work for you. Even if you’re right about Tiffany running in the opposite direction to avoid being a stepmother, she’s not the only single woman out there. A lot of them would be pleased to help you with Anastasia. In fact, you’re going to have to be careful, because more than a few of them will use Anastasia to get to you.”
“Great.” He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “I’m not going to worry about it now. I can’t imagine going out with anyone. As far as I’m concerned, the only two females in my life are you and my daughter.”
She told herself that her sudden response was triggered by the sight of him walking in front of her, which gave her far too much opportunity to stare at his rear. Or maybe it was guilt over the fact that she was really going to contact those headhunters to find out if there was life after Calhoun Jefferson Langtry. Or maybe it was that she was tired from not having slept much the previous night. Whatever the reason, when Cal said she was one of the two females in his life, she wanted to melt. Right there…knees buckling, muscles giving way until she was just a puddle in the canned goods aisle.
“How long is that going to last?” she asked, then went on without waiting for an answer. “My point is, you’re not always going to be on your own with Anastasia. You two will come to some kind of understanding, then you’ll find someone and it will all work out.”
“That’s really likely. Tha
nks.”
She ignored his sarcasm and continued down the aisle. Sabrina paused in front of the magazines and picked up the current issue of one popular with girls Anastasia’s age. “For later,” she said, hiding it under a package of paper towels. “Surprise her when things are going well. She’ll like it.”
“You’re assuming that will happen before the issue is outdated,” he muttered.
Sabrina chuckled. “So the surly nature is inherited. Like father, like daughter?”
“I am not surly.”
“I can see that. You’re also not cranky when you don’t get your own way.”
He gave her his steely-eyed glare. It worked on most business opponents, but she’d seen it enough to be pretty immune.
“Yup,” she said. “Just like I thought. Surly. I’ll bet you were a sulker, too, when you didn’t get your own way as a kid.”
“I resent this, Sabrina. Make no mistake, you are an employee and can be replaced.”
She laughed. “Uh-huh. Sure, Mr. Langtry.”
Before he could reply, Anastasia approached the cart. She had a bag of chips in one hand and chocolate in the other. “This is what I want,” she said. “Both of them.”
Sabrina stared at her. She knew she’d been speaking English just a few minutes ago. Then she recognized the challenge in the girl’s eyes. Fine, if she wanted to do a little testing, Sabrina was more than up to the task.
Cal shifted uncomfortably. “Well, the bag of chips looks small,” he said. “It wouldn’t last a chipmunk for a week.”
Sabrina looked at him. He clamped his lips together and nodded. “Okay. One treat, Anastasia. Just one. Decide.”
His daughter glared at him, then tossed the candy into the cart. “I can’t believe you’re doing this,” she said before she flounced off.
“Me, neither,” Cal said softly, watching her go. “Jeez, Sabrina, I wouldn’t be able to get through this without you. I feel like I’m going to mess up every time I turn around.”
“You’ll get the hang of it. I have the advantage of younger siblings that I helped raise. But it’s not so hard.”
“That’s what I tell everyone about finding oil, but no one believes me.” He touched her upper arm. “Thanks.”
He headed for the front of the store. Sabrina forced herself to concentrate on her list rather than watching her boss walk away. The tingling in her arm subsided after a couple of seconds and she was soon able to draw in an undisturbed breath.
This whole situation was incredibly dangerous to her. She hadn’t seen that at first, but she was figuring it out, and fast. Normally they spent a lot of time together, but there was always business between them. Even when they traveled, it wasn’t personal. But this was. Having to deal with Anastasia put them into a situation they’d never experienced before. They were talking about many things best left unsaid, seeing sides of each other that should remain hidden. Cal could probably get through this without giving any of it a moment’s thought, but she wasn’t that disinterested. No matter how she tried to ignore the reality, the man got to her.
Him needing her, depending on her, the sudden intimacy of family, all conspired to make her think about belonging…about this being real.
“You know better,” she said aloud. She’d always known better. She wasn’t Cal’s type, he didn’t find her attractive, and even if he did, what was the point? Cal thrilled to the chase, but once he’d caught his flavor of the month, he wasn’t that eager to keep her around. She didn’t want a brief affair. Actually she didn’t know what she wanted, but she believed with all her heart it was much safer to stay professional, no matter how strong the temptation to make it more.
Cal watched as Sabrina stepped into his study and hit the switch by the door. He blinked in the sudden light.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Sitting in the dark,” he said. “Pretty pathetic, huh?”
He leaned back in his desk chair and motioned for her to take a seat on the leather sofa by the bookcase. She did as he requested.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked.
“I’m not sure there’s anything to say. I feel as if I’m in the middle of a war, but I can’t figure out if I’m the enemy or she is.”
The “she” in question was, of course, his daughter, he thought. Right now Anastasia was watching television in the other room. She’d spent the later afternoon and early evening alternating between vaguely pleasant and a complete brat.
“You want a drink?” Sabrina asked as she rose and moved to the wet bar in the corner.
“No, thanks. I tried that last night and all that happened was I woke up feeling lousy.”
“I think I want to double-check your findings,” she said, and poured herself a small glass of brandy. She carried the snifter back to the sofa and took a seat.
They sat in silence for a while. The lamplight made Sabrina’s red hair glow like fire. He’d always been a man who preferred blondes, but there was something appealing about her bright coloring. With her face partially in shadow, her eyes looked more smoky gray than blue, but they were still large and fringed with dark lashes. She’d been in her jeans all day, but he hadn’t gotten used to seeing the actual shape of her hips and thighs. To be honest, he liked it. Sabrina wasn’t model thin. She had curves, like a real woman. Curves a man could cup and stroke and—
Down boy, he ordered himself. He had no business going there. Sabrina was off-limits for a lot of reasons. For one, she was an employee, and he didn’t mess around where he did his business. For another, she deserved his respect. Finally, he wasn’t stupid. If he made a pass at Sabrina, she would probably haul off and hit him. Worse, she might want to quit, and right now he couldn’t survive without her.
“Who would have thought it would come to this,” he said.
“Meaning you never thought you would be a father?”
The question surprised him. “Maybe. Kids.” He shook his head. “I suppose they were part of my plan, but a vague part, somewhere in the distant future. I never expected to have one thrust upon me like this. Anastasia and I are a real pair. God knows what she needs from me, but it’s unlikely I’m going to be able to provide it.”
“I think you’re selling yourself short,” Sabrina told him. “So far, you’re doing fine.”
“Yeah, right. She told me I should have known about her. I should have made it my business to know, or somehow sensed it.”
“You know that’s not true,” Sabrina said gently. “You don’t have psychic powers. She’s thinking in terms of fairy tales and television. This is real life.”
“Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should have known.”
Sabrina leaned forward. “How?”
“If you’re going to get logical, we can’t have this discussion,” he warned.
“Oh, I see. So you should have had a dream or a vision?”
She had a point. “I understand that Anastasia is reacting from the point of view of a hurt child, but she’s not completely off base with her accusations. If I didn’t know about her, I should have at least had a clue about Janice. I was intimate with the woman. How could I have let her deceive me that way?”
“You didn’t let her do anything. She tricked you. She deliberately set out to get pregnant. You couldn’t have predicted that.”
She was right. He knew that in his head, but his gut told him otherwise. In his gut, a voice whispered that there had been clues, but he’d missed them.
“Maybe you’d feel better if you pounded on the wall and called her a name,” she suggested.
“Always practical.”
“Just trying to help.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think breaking my hand is going to improve my mood. Besides, Janice isn’t the only person I blame for this mess.”
“The other two are your parents, aren’t they?”
He nodded. His parents. The two people who were supposed to love him and look out for him. Instead, they’d made decisions for him, had kept
the truth from him.
“They had no right,” he said, trying to block the tide of anger swelling inside him. “I know they were reacting to years of dealing with Tracey. I can’t remember how many times she ran away, how many times she thought she was pregnant. It was grim for everyone.”
“It’s going to take some time to come to terms with this,” Sabrina said.
Cal wasn’t sure he ever would. “They never gave me the chance to make a choice.”
“Because they knew what you would do. Maybe you’re looking at this all wrong. There is a bright side.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Illuminate me.”
“The big concern for your folks was that once you found out about Janice, you would want to marry her, or at the very least, take responsibility for the child.”
“So?”
“So?” She smiled. “Cal, what does that say about the kind of person you are? They knew you would do the right thing. Even then, they knew you were a good man whom they couldn’t manipulate. That speaks highly of your character. That should make you happy.”
He didn’t think he could use that word to describe his state of mind right now, but he understood her point. “You know the real tragedy in this?” he asked. “My mother won’t want anything to do with her. Anastasia is her only grandchild. But my mother will never forget who Janice wasn’t, in terms of money and social standing. So she won’t bother. I can forgive a lot, but I know I’ll never forgive her that.”
“That’s good,” Sabrina said. “You seem to have all the characteristics of a great father in the making. Maybe we should get a couple of books on parenting to bring you up to speed. After all, your daughter is practically a teenager.”
He groaned. “I don’t want to think about that.”
“It’s going to happen whether you want it to or not. It won’t be so bad. At least funding her college tuition isn’t going to be a hardship.”
As consolations went, it wasn’t much of one. What Sabrina didn’t understand and what he couldn’t find it in himself to explain was that he was terrified. How was he supposed to father this soon-to-be young woman who had entered his life? He’d never been very good at relationships of any kind, let alone important ones. He had a few friends from his school days that he was still in touch with, but only on a casual basis. He’d been involved with women, but never for very long. Hell, if the truth be told, Sabrina was not only his most reliable friend, but his most successful relationship, and they got along because they’d never tried to make it personal. He didn’t know how to love someone, and he knew instinctively that’s what his daughter needed most.
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