Her voice sounded almost normal. If someone didn’t know her really well, he wouldn’t have been able to guess. Unfortunately, Cal did know her.
“A watch? What are you talking about? Tell me what’s wrong.”
She pointed to the jeweler’s box, not daring to touch it. “That. The ‘it’s over’ gift. How thoughtful of you to choose it yourself. Or did Anastasia help?”
“No!” He took her hands in his. “I’m sorry. I’m doing this all wrong, aren’t I? I wanted to surprise you. I thought this would be romantic. I forgot about those stupid gifts I sent women when it was over.” He stared at her intently. “You have to believe me. This isn’t like that.”
He released her long enough to pick up the small velvet box and open it. She forced herself to be strong and look inside.
Instead of a pin or a pair of earrings, a beautiful emerald-cut diamond solitaire winked back at her. She blinked. “I don’t understand. You never give rings.”
One corner of his mouth turned up. “I’m not telling you it’s over. I’m trying to propose. Sabrina, I want you to marry me.”
There was a rushing in her ears. She glanced from him to the ring and back. His smile broadened. “You’re proposing?”
“Yes. Marry me. Please.”
With the possible exception of telling her he’d had regression therapy and had remembered a past life as a dog, she couldn’t think of anything he could have said that would have shocked her more. Marry him? Calhoun Jefferson Langtry was proposing to her?
The rushing in her ears turned to a ringing, and her stomach stopped hurting, but now it was flopping around. She felt light-headed and confused. Why did he want to marry her?
She searched his face, hoping to find a clue. She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t have asked lightly. Nor would he change his mind and retract the proposal. Did he care about her the way she cared about him? He hadn’t said anything about love, but obviously…
Then she knew. The ringing stopped, her stomach settled down to normal. She closed the velvet box.
“You don’t want to lose me,” she said flatly.
“Of course not.” He touched her cheek. “You’re a part of my life.”
“You’re right. We’re good friends, we work well together. We get along. We’re well matched, personality-wise and in bed. I keep your life running smoothly and I’ve already established a relationship with your daughter.”
He frowned. “I want to agree with everything you’ve said, but I sense a trap.”
“No trap, Cal. Just the truth.” It hurt to breathe. She felt as if her heart had collapsed on itself. She’d come so close to realizing her dream. She hadn’t known how much she’d allowed herself to hope until it was all snatched away from her.
“If I wanted to keep my job, would that be a problem?” she asked.
“No. Do you want to?”
She ignored his question. “Stock options? Are they available?”
The frown deepened. “You’re making this sound like a business transaction. It’s not like that. I want to marry you, Sabrina. I want a relationship. I will try to be a good husband.”
She nodded. “I know you, and you will try. You’ll be faithful and caring.” He would drive her to the limits of pleasure in bed, too, if she let him.
It was so tempting. They could have children together. She would never have to worry about money. Of course she was already fairly well off now. But there would be security, and respect. Many marriages had survived on less.
But he didn’t love her. He didn’t love anyone, except maybe his daughter. She knew herself well enough to know that a loveless marriage would destroy her. After a while she would dry up and blow away. What was the saying? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
She loved him, therefore she couldn’t marry him.
She climbed out of bed and slipped on her clothes, then crossed to the door. “I’m sorry, Cal,” she said. “I…I can’t.”
Chapter 16
Cal wasn’t sure how long he sat alone in the kitchen. It could have been ten minutes or two hours. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t do anything but wait for the pain to ease a little. He’d tried. That’s what he told himself. He’d done his best and he’d failed. At the time it had seemed so simple. That he would propose and she would say yes, and she would stay with him always. That’s what he’d wanted, but it hadn’t happened.
He supposed he couldn’t blame her for refusing him. He didn’t have anything to offer her. After all, she knew the worst about him. She’d been there all the times he’d gotten involved with silly, inappropriate women. Women he’d chosen because they were pretty and easy and they didn’t challenge him in any way. Women he could walk away from without giving them a second’s thought. He’d been so afraid of someone real. Someone he could love, someone like her.
He’d thought being alone was the worst thing in the world, but now he knew better. The worst thing in the world was being without her.
He heard a noise in the hallway and glanced up. His daughter stepped into the room. She walked over and hugged him. “’Morning, Daddy.”
He held her close. “Good morning.”
She stepped back and looked at him. “What’s wrong?”
Apparently he was so transparent even his twelve-year-old kid knew something was troubling him. “Nothing.”
“Da-ad.”
“Don’t ‘Da-ad’ me,” he told her. “What do you want for breakfast?”
“Nothing. Did something happen with Sabrina?”
He couldn’t tell her the truth. Not yet. She’d already been hurt by so much. He swore to himself. Not only was he going to have to figure out how to survive without the one woman he loved, but his daughter was also going to have to get used to living without her. It wasn’t fair.
“Cereal or pancakes?” he asked, deliberately keeping his voice light.
Anastasia pushed her glasses higher onto her nose and sighed. “Cereal is fine. It’s Sabrina, isn’t it? Did you talk to her about staying?”
He got down a bowl. “Eat first, talk later.”
Sabrina moved closer to the ocean. It was still early enough that she had most of the beach to herself. Which was good. She wasn’t in the mood to smile at strangers, and she had a bad feeling that if someone asked even a simple question, like “How are you?” she would burst into tears.
What had gone wrong? Why had he proposed to her?
She shook her head. She knew the answer to that one. The problem was, she wanted it to be for a different reason. She wanted Cal to have asked her to marry him because he loved her and couldn’t imagine living without her, not because she was a convenience. That made her feel like a dishwasher.
She shoved her hands into her jeans pockets and sighed. The worse part was, she was tempted. The weakness invaded her, making her want to go to him and tell him that she would agree to marry him under any conditions. After all, he would be a good husband. He would be faithful to her. She knew he cared about her and respected her. Maybe, in time, he could fall in love with her. Wasn’t that a possibility? Wasn’t that enough? A good man, Anastasia, children of her own. Was she wishing for the moon to want more?
She bit her lower lip. She couldn’t settle. Not on this issue. It wasn’t right. And if she did, she would never be able to respect herself. Some of Cal wasn’t better than none. She would make a clean break of it. Sure it would be difficult, but she would recover and go on. There were lots of men out there who would find her interesting. She might fall in love with one of them. If not, she could like one a lot and try to make a go of it.
Which was settling in a different way, she thought sadly. So what was the answer?
She walked for several more minutes before turning around and heading back to the house. One thing she knew for sure—she was going to tell Cal the truth. Before she actually left, she was going to gather her courage together and admit that she’d fallen in love with him and that was the reason she couldn’t accept his pro
posal. She had enough to regret already; she wasn’t going to spend her life wishing she’d told him how she felt. She smiled thinking of his confusion when she carefully explained that the reason she wouldn’t marry him was because she loved him too much.
As she neared their rented place, her mind filled with memories. There had been so many good times over the past six years. So much laughter and teasing, so many wonderful moments. The party he’d thrown for her when she turned twenty-five. How he’d come with her when her youngest sister had graduated from college. The extra-long weekend in Hong Kong after she’d won their stock bet last year. The specialist he’d had flown in when they were afraid that Gram had suffered a heart attack. So many wonderful gestures, so much affection. Cal might not have loved her, but he’d been a good friend. Along with her confession of love, she was going to tell him that, too. He was a wonderful man. Now that he’d let his daughter into his heart, he needed to make room for someone else. Someone who would treasure him and take care of him.
Thinking about him with another woman hurt too much, so she pushed the thought away. She crossed the sand to the boardwalk, then stepped into their patio. The sliding glass door was open. Cal and Anastasia were in the kitchen. They didn’t see her as she stepped into the living room.
The preteen put a bowl into the sink and turned to face her father. “Okay, I ate my breakfast. Now tell me what happened.”
Sabrina stopped in her tracks. Anastasia knew about the proposal?
Cal shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell.” He held up his hand. “I’m not kidding. I asked her to marry me and she said no. That’s it.”
“That’s not it. Start at the beginning and tell me everything. She couldn’t have said no. She loves you, Daddy, I know she does.”
Even if Sabrina had wanted to leave, the girl’s words rooted her in place. She shifted until she was concealed by the bookcase against the dividing wall and sucked in her breath. How had Anastasia figured out the truth?
“I wish that were true,” Cal said. “But it’s not. Sweetie, I know you wanted this to work out, and I did, too. Sometimes grown-ups make life complicated.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Sabrina and I have known each other for a long time.”
“I know. You get along great. She wants to marry you. You must have said something to make her mad.”
If she hadn’t been so frozen with shock, she might have smiled at the preteen’s assumption.
“I did not.” Cal sounded indignant. “I took her breakfast in bed. There was an engagement ring in a velvet box on the tray. I asked her to marry me and she said no. End of story.”
Sabrina heard a rustling sound, then Anastasia spoke, but her voice was muffled. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I really thought she loved you. I don’t understand.”
She risked a glance and saw Cal hugging his daughter.
“I’ve seen how she looks at you,” the girl continued. “It’s exactly how my mom looked at my other dad. You look at her the same way. I hate this. I don’t ever want to grow up.”
“Sorry, kid, you don’t get a choice.” He drew in a deep breath. “Don’t blame Sabrina, okay? It’s not her fault.”
“Yes, it is!”
“No. I’m the one who…”
When he paused, Sabrina risked another glance. Cal stood with his back to her. He rested his chin on his daughter’s head.
“I’m the one who messed up. See, Sabrina knows me too well. We all have bad parts, and usually we keep them hidden from the world. The problem is, Sabrina has seen those parts of me. They’re pretty awful and she can’t forget that. She’s so wonderful. Bright. Funny. Pretty. She can do a lot better than me.”
“No way,” his daughter said loyally.
“Thanks, but on this one, you’re wrong. Any guy would be lucky to have her.”
Sabrina pressed her fingers to her mouth to keep from crying out. She knew the man, recognized his appearance and the sound of his voice, but she couldn’t believe what he was saying. She’d never heard him talk like this before. What did it mean?
A gladness filled her heart. She didn’t want to risk hoping and having those hopes dashed, but she couldn’t control the feeling that grew and grew until it burned hot and bright like the sun.
“Daddy, if you love someone, you love all the parts inside. Sometimes I can be, you know, sorta bratty, but you love me.”
“It’s more than just sorta bratty, and yes, I do love you, but that’s different.”
“Why? You love Sabrina.”
“Yes, but she doesn’t love me.”
Her legs nearly gave way. Yes. He’d said yes. As in yes, he loved her!
“What did she say when you told her you loved her?”
Silence.
“Daddy, you didn’t tell her!”
“I couldn’t. She wouldn’t believe me.”
“Yes, she would. I believed you.”
“I know. It’s just—”
Sabrina was near tears, but for the first time in months, they were from happiness, not pain. He loved her. Her. Was it true? Could she believe?
“Go,” Anastasia was saying. “Go right now and tell her the truth. She has to know. You brought her a flower at the airport.”
“Ah, yes, the universal love symbol.”
“Daddy! I’m serious.”
“Very well. I’ll tell her, if only because I should have when I proposed. I was afraid to say it, but she deserves to hear it. Even if it doesn’t matter to her.”
Sabrina headed for the stairs. She barely made it into her room when she heard Cal climbing up behind her. She quickly brushed her cheeks and hoped that he couldn’t tell she’d been crying, then reminded herself that even if he could, he would think that it was because she was sad.
There was a knock on her door. She braced herself against the window and tried to smile.
“C-come in.” Her voice cracked. Had he noticed? Did it matter?
He entered the room. He was, she thought, the most perfect man ever created. So handsome and strong, so amazing.
He gave her a half smile that faded as quickly as it began. “Sabrina, I have something to tell you. I should have said it before. It’s just, I was afraid.” He shoved his hands into his shorts pockets. “I was just telling Anastasia that I didn’t have much to recommend myself to you and I guess this proves it. I’m just some good ol’ boy from Texas. My family has all the trappings of success, but they’re not good people. You know that better than anyone. I’m a hard worker and I play hard. I can be stubborn. But you know that, too.” He gave a short laugh. “Here I am, trying to sell myself. Pretty sad, huh?”
She shook her head. “I think it’s charming. I also think you’re wonderful.”
He’d been staring at the ground, but now his head snapped up. “You do?”
“Yes. I have a confession to make. I, um, had a crush on you when I first came to work for you. But I knew you weren’t interested in me that way, so I made myself get over it.” She took a step toward him. “At least, that was the plan. I did get over my crush, but not the way I wanted. Those shallow, silly feelings deepened, and I fell in love with you. Only I didn’t recognize that fact until very recently.”
His breath caught audibly. “Sabrina?”
“I love you, Cal. I think you’re an amazing man. I didn’t agree to marry you because I thought it would only be half a marriage, and that would have destroyed me. I need to be with someone who loves me back.”
“I do,” he said, hurrying toward her and grabbing her shoulders. “I love you, I think I always have. I respect you and admire you, and, dammit, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It’s not about work or Anastasia. I’ll hire a new assistant and a housekeeper and a nanny if that’s what it takes to convince you.”
She stared at the love burning bright in his dark eyes. “I believe you. To think we spent all this time not knowing.”
He kissed her hard, then drew back. “I nearly
lost you. I didn’t know I had you and then I could have lost you. I wouldn’t have survived.”
“Oh, Cal.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. The kiss went on for a long time. When at last they surfaced, he said, “What about the job offers?”
“Is that by way of another proposal?”
“If you want it to be.” He touched her cheek. “I love you, Sabrina. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
“Yes.”
“You still want to work for me, too? It’s only summer. We do have a half year left on our stock bet.”
She laughed. “I’m going to kick your butt on that one…again.”
“Cheap talk, woman.”
“You lost last year, and yes, I do want to keep working for you. I might have to cut back on my hours because of your daughter, but that’s okay with me, if it’s okay with you.”
“It’s more than okay. It’s wonderful.”
He held her close. She sighed with contentment. Who would have thought it would come to this?
“I was thinking,” she said. “How about a honeymoon in Hawaii? We could take Ada and her nieces. That way Anastasia would have someone to play with, and she would have a good time, too.”
“Because it’s too soon to leave her alone.”
She nodded.
He tucked her hair behind her ears. “This is why I love you, Sabrina. You are the best part of me.”
“And you’re the best part of me.” She had a thought and giggled. “Prominence Magazine is going to be upset. Talk about a short-lived career as an eligible bachelor. You’ll be married before the issue hits the stands.”
“They’ll have to get over it. I’m committed to you. For life.”
“For life,” she echoed. “Let’s go tell Anastasia. She’ll be thrilled.”
“Are you kidding? She already knows. She’s probably arranged the entire wedding by now.”
“The alternative is her going on that skating date with a boy.”
“She’s not dating until she’s thirty. Do you hear me? Neither are all the other daughters we have together.”
Lone Star Millionaire Page 20
