Thea’s eyes grew wide and she looked shell-shocked. “I s-see.”
Why did he feel as if he were the slimeball who just shot Bambi’s mother? Irritation laced through him. He couldn’t shake the sensation that he’d somehow let her down. That he’d disappointed her. Which meant she was judging him. And that wasn’t fair. He’d gone through hell and tried to do the right thing. And she’d said herself that he’d done a good job. He’d had his two-point-whatever children and anyone who’d traveled the same path he had would probably feel the same way.
The truth hit him between the eyes. She hadn’t traveled the same path. Her husband had died and she had no children. Did she want them? She was still a very young woman. How did she feel about kids? His gut clenched.
“Look, Thea, I—”
“Wow, it’s getting late,” she said, glancing at the clock on the microwave. “I have a bridal shower to get ready for. I better get dressed. Excuse me.”
Scott ran his fingers through his hair as he watched her hurry from the room. So much for the postcoital glow. It was nice while it lasted. He was so out of the loop on this man/woman thing. Maybe it would have been better if he’d lied to her.
He shook his head. If telling lies was a prerequisite for a relationship, then he was destined to be alone. That just wasn’t his style.
Thea was back a few minutes later dressed in the clothes she’d worn yesterday. She briefly met his gaze before hers skittered away. “I’ll work up those figures for you on the party.”
“Okay.” He moved toward her. “I’ll call you—”
“I’m going to be out all day.”
He followed her to the front door. When she opened it and started to leave, he curved his fingers around her upper arm to stop her. She glanced up, her eyes shadowed and questioning.
He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. “Have a good day. Drive careful. You look tired. Don’t work too hard.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I know,” he said.
As he watched her get in her car and drive away, it struck him that not worrying about her was easier said than done.
Chapter 10
After the bridal shower, Thea ladled the remaining iced tea—passion fruit flavor—into a container. As if she needed a reminder that she’d engaged in the fruits of passion. That she’d spent the night with Scott, tangled in his sheets and in his arms. It was so nice while it lasted. As she continued to empty the contents of the decorative jar, she remembered in painful detail Scott’s adamant declaration about children.
Connie appeared beside her with the leftover shrimp dish and fruit salad. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just moving slow. Sorry.”
“No problem. Everyone is gone, including the party hostess. I told her we’d lock up when we were finished putting the house back together.”
“Good.” Thea was glad it was just the two of them, although she’d have preferred to be alone.
“I’m going to strip the linens off the dining room table and put the chairs back.”
“Okay. I’ll take care of these leftovers and leave them in the fridge.”
Thea took some of the disposable containers she always brought with her and scooped the shrimp into one, then labeled it. She did the same with the fruit and put the bowls away. It was part of the service she offered. Thea Bell toils for you and makes your life a little easier.
If only someone would do that for her. She’d felt as if life was finally starting to go her way when the IVF was successful. Then she met Scott. It had been downhill ever since, capped by sex with him. No, that was the high point. Even though all the signs had been apparent, she’d harbored some misguided notion that he might be open to the possibility of another child—her child. Until he’d told her in no uncertain terms how he felt, she hadn’t even realized the hope was there. Because she didn’t dare to hope anymore.
“Thea, are you all right?” There was sincere concern in her friend’s voice.
She turned away from the open refrigerator. “Yes. Why?”
“Because you’ve been standing there with the fridge door open staring off into space. That’s not like you. In fact, you haven’t been yourself all day. So talk to me. You know I won’t let up until you do.”
Thea shut the door and released a long breath. “Okay. I’m not okay.”
Connie was beside her in a flash. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”
“The baby’s fine. I slept with Scott Matthews last night,” she said in a rush. Then she looked at her friend whose expression went from worried to shocked to smug in three seconds flat.
She held up her hand. “High-five, girlfriend.”
“No. I should bend over and let you kick me in the fanny. It was probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. It was a mistake.”
“Why? Was he bad in bed? Did he not know what he was doing?”
Thea shivered at the memory of what Scott had done to her, how he’d made her come alive with his hands, his mouth, his body. “No. He knew what he was doing, all right.”
“Then I don’t get it. What part of it was a mistake?”
“The whole thing. It never should have happened. We were friends. And now…”
“You’re friends who had sex.”
“It’s not that simple. Don’t you see?” Thea held out her hand in a frustrated, helpless gesture. “We were intimate.”
“Yeah. That’s kind of the point of sex. A man and a woman getting intimate.”
“You are the most exasperating woman. If I didn’t like you so much—” She shook her head, but couldn’t suppress a small smile.
“I’m not exasperating. I’m clueless. The man is a hunk and a half. He’s gainfully employed.”
“And then some,” Thea agreed.
“He’s interested in you. You’re obviously attracted to him. More important, you like him. What is the problem?”
“He doesn’t want any more children,” Thea said miserably. “That’s a deal breaker.”
“It would be if he really meant it.”
“Oh, he did.”
“Lots of people say it. Including me. But if the situation arises, you roll with it,” Connie said.
“Not him.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“He told me so.” Shaking her head, she blew out a long breath. “He took on heavy responsibilities at a very young age. Now it’s his turn to do his own thing. And that doesn’t include another baby.”
“But, T—”
Thea held up her hand. “You should have seen his face when he talked about all the negatives—two o’clock feedings, flu and fevers, teething. He loves his children but he doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with a baby.”
“Did you tell him you’re pregnant?”
Thea shook her head. “I got out of there as fast as I could.”
“You should tell him.”
“There’s no need to. Now that I know how he feels, there’s no chance of taking anything between us to the next level.”
“I think you’re wrong, Thea. There’s always a chance.”
“Speaking of fevers,” she said, reaching over to touch the back of her hand to her friend’s forehead.
Connie ducked away. “I’m serious. And completely in my right mind. He obviously likes you a lot. Maybe more than like. If I’m right, and he finds out you and a baby are a package deal, he might accept it.”
“I don’t want ‘acceptance’ for this baby,” Thea said sharply. She meant that with all her heart. “David would have loved being a father, but that wasn’t meant to be. Now it’s my responsibility to raise our child the way he would have wanted. That doesn’t include letting a man into my life who would simply tolerate the child I’m carrying.”
“But if you tell him—”
“No. It’s my personal business,” Thea said. “And there’s no reason now to share it with Scott.”
“Even though you’re friends?�
�
“We’re not that close.”
“I don’t know,” Connie said, tucking a strand of copper-colored hair behind her ear. “Sex, by definition, means you get pretty close.”
“You know what I mean,” Thea said, just this side of exasperated. “Besides, we won’t be having sex again. I intend to let him know it was a mistake. Hopefully that won’t impact his feelings when I make an offer on his house. And he indicated he’s interested in my place. He’s condo and I’m single-family home. We’re wrong for each other and at completely different places in our lives. It was a terrible mistake to let things get out of hand like they did.”
“Maybe. But once you’ve crossed over, it’s hard to go back,” her friend pointed out.
Especially when one didn’t want to, Thea thought. But the bigger mistake would be in letting things go on knowing how he felt.
“I’ll just have to find a way to make sure he gets the message. After our real-estate deals are finished, any association with Scott Matthews will be finished, too.”
“Don’t be too sure,” Connie warned.
Thea ignored her. There couldn’t be a game if only one person participated. Scott was a bright guy. Smart, handsome, tender, loving, strong, reliable—
She put the brakes on that train of thought before she derailed her own best intentions. He was a really terrific guy who deserved to find an equally terrific woman to care about. Someone who met his criteria. And she wasn’t the one.
It didn’t matter that the thought of him with anyone else made her heart hurt.
Scott dialed Thea’s number without looking it up. How quickly he’d memorized it, he thought. That happened when you phoned a woman over and over because she hadn’t returned your calls even after you’d left numerous messages.
“Hello?”
Finally, he thought, muting the TV as he sat up straighter on the sofa. “Hi. Thea? It’s Scott.”
“Oh. Hello,” she said, breathlessly. It sounded as if she’d just come in and raced to the phone.
Or just finished making love.
That thought generated a shaft of heat that shot straight to his groin. At the same time, just hearing her voice produced a yearning so deep inside him it was almost painful. That had happened almost as fast as memorizing her phone number. And wasn’t that the pits. The last time he’d needed a woman, his whole life had turned upside down when she’d walked out. He’d promised himself never to need anyone again.
“I guess you’ve been busy,” he said casually.
“Yes.” The sound of crackling came over the phone, as if she were setting bags down. “Why?”
“Because you didn’t return any of my messages.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Or have you been avoiding me?”
He winced when the words came out. He’d just finished warning himself not to get sucked in. Now he was quizzing her about why she hadn’t called him back. Stupid move, Matthews, he thought.
“Why would I do that?”
Classic avoidance technique. Answer a question with another question. “I’m not sure. Maybe because things are moving kind of fast between us.”
“You mean because we—you know.”
He heard the embarrassment in her voice and could almost see the blush he knew would be coloring the flawless skin of her cheeks.
“Yeah. That.”
“No—I mean, yes, things did move fast.”
“I refuse to say I’m sorry it happened, Thea. And I hope you’re not sorry, either.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. It takes two to tango, as they say. No one forced me.”
He noticed she hadn’t said she wasn’t sorry. “So that’s not why you haven’t returned my calls?”
There was a telling silence before she said, “Of course not.”
“Good, then—”
“Did you get the estimated cost of food per person for Kendra’s party that I faxed to your office?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I thought maybe you had a question about it,” she said.
“No. It’s fine.”
“Good. All right, then, if there’s nothing else—”
“Whoa. Wait a minute.”
“Yes?”
“What’s with you?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she hedged.
“The heck you don’t. First you don’t return my calls. Then you change the subject to business. Now you’re trying to get me off the phone. You are avoiding me.”
“Why would I do that?”
For the same reason he’d been avoiding emotional entanglements since his wife had left him and their two little girls. “Because you’re afraid of being hurt again after losing your husband,” he said.
There was a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “There could be some truth to that,” she admitted.
“You can’t run forever, Thea.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Seriously, sooner or later you have to take a chance and get back on that horse.”
“And you know this because you’ve had so much experience taking chances?” she asked sarcastically. “Do I file that advice under, ‘Takes one to know one’?”
“Touché. I’ve been reluctant to dip my toe in the cold water of relationships,” he said. “But after meeting you I find that I’m inclined to want to dive in.”
“It’s all about sex, isn’t it?”
“No.” And he truly meant that. Mostly. “Although I can’t tell a lie. I’m all in favor of sex. With you.”
She sighed again. “Look, Scott—”
“I’m not going to like this, am I?”
“I couldn’t say. But I can’t tell a lie, either.”
“Sure you can.”
“No,” she said with a small laugh. “Since we met—”
“And made love,” he interjected.
“That, too, I’ve realized I’m not ready to take a chance and get back on the horse. Or dive into the waters of a relationship. Or whatever else you want to call it. And to be honest, I’m not sure I ever will be.”
“There’s that honesty thing again,” he grumbled.
He didn’t especially like the way this was going and wished he’d let her continue avoiding him.
“I don’t know any other way to be.”
That was refreshing, anyway. He’d lived with a woman who told him what he wanted to hear until the day she said she couldn’t stand her life and was leaving him. But Thea’s truth was only marginally better.
“Look, Scott, I just want to be fair to you,” she said, filling the silence.
“I don’t know what’s fair. All I know is that there’s something going on between us. Or am I the only one who feels it?”
“I feel strongly that the wisest course of action is to nip this thing in the bud. Before either of us realizes we want more than the other can give.”
Scott wasn’t sure what he wanted except he knew he didn’t want to simply end it. Thea Bell was a pretty amazing woman and it didn’t feel right to walk away from her just like that. Wasn’t it just his luck that the first woman he’d met who made him want to take the risk was afraid to go there with him.
“Look, Thea, let me take you out to dinner and we can talk about this.”
“I don’t think so, Scott.”
He would bet if he brought up Kendra’s party she’d change her tune. Since the day he’d caught her cooking in his kitchen, she’d backed away from the personal and taken cover behind the professional.
“What about my house? Didn’t you want to make an offer?”
“Yes, but I still have to sell my condo.”
“What if I want to buy it?”
The silence on the other end of the line told him her eyes widened and she was blinking in surprise.
“Do you?” she asked.
“It’s exactly what I pictured myself in after the girls were gone.”
“Then we should get Joyce to write up offers on each other’s
property.”
But that would mean I can’t see you, he thought. He also suspected if he pushed any harder, he’d push her away. That was the last thing he wanted. “Okay,” he agreed.
He didn’t think he could persuade her to go out with him just yet, but he didn’t want to hang up without knowing when he would see her again. “What’s the next step for the party?”
“When you know the number of guests who will be attending, I’ll reserve tables and chairs. Then I’ll need to take a look at the backyard and figure out where to set everything up.”
“Okay. I’ll sit down with Ken when she comes home from UCLA and we’ll finalize the guest list.”
“Good. If that’s all, Scott, I have to run. I’ll talk to you when you’ve got all that information.”
“Okay, good—”
He heard the click and stared at the receiver. When it sank in that she’d hung up on him, anger churned in his gut. He should be relieved that she didn’t seem to want anything serious between them. But he wasn’t. She’d basically told him that if not for Kendra’s party, she would have nothing to do with him.
And he didn’t like it one little bit.
Chapter 11
Scott slammed the phone down and ran his fingers through his hair. “Son of a—”
“Dad?”
He looked up. Kendra and Gail were standing in the family room staring at him. He hadn’t even heard them come in. Thea was some distraction. No wonder they named every other hurricane after a woman.
“Hi,” he said, then released a long breath.
“Something wrong?” Kendra asked.
He glanced at the phone. “It’s no big deal.”
So much for not being able to tell a lie. He didn’t need a shrink to tell him his over-the-top reaction meant it was a very big deal.
“So,” he said, looking from one daughter to the other, “how was your weekend?”
“Awesome,” Kendra said. She was beaming.
He hadn’t seen her this happy since she’d scored the winning goal for her soccer team and sent them to the playoffs.
But he had to be cool and let her open up on her own. “Oh?” he asked, looking at Gail.
Lone Star Millionaire Page 33
