Meteor Boy.
The reality of what they were saying had left me speechless.
“You kids were incredible,” gushed a photographer. “Let me get a picture for The Hero Herald.”
“And what an incredible save of this valuable object,” added the Amazing Indestructo as he butted his way into the middle of the frame just as the photographer took our picture. “Thankfully I was here to ensure the success of the rescue operation.”
“Stop trying to steal credit from the lad.”
I turned around and saw Lord Pincushion approaching. The other four members of the League of Goodness were right behind him. “After all, if you’re going to set yourself up as the leader of a team of children, it might not be a bad idea for you to act at least a trifle bit more mature than them.” And then he noticed the meteorite for the first time. “Good heavens, what is this thing?”
“It’s a prodigium meteorite,” I explained as I lifted it up for him to study. “It’s the only one in existence.”
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Pincushion explained as he removed a small, sharp-headed hammer from an area near his appendix. With it, he chipped away a small chunk protruding from the meteorite. The small piece soon came loose and fell into his hand. “I’d very much like to know just what those unwashed ruffians were planning to do with this unusual material. This small piece should be enough for me to examine in search of an answer.”
“I know what they wanted it for—” I started to say, but I got interrupted.
“We’re retiring, Pincushion,” Zephyr reminded him. “Leave it to the younger heroes to discover. This boy is obviously smart enough to handle this little mystery on his own.”
“Clearly he is,” the sharp-looking superhero responded.
Suddenly, the Amazing Indestructo stepped in front of me as if he were protecting me from Lord Pincushion’s pointy protrusions, and grabbed the meteorite from my hands.
“He’s not on his own. This kid’s on my team,” AI insisted, as if I had no say in the matter. “We’ve already shown that we work great together. The proof is in this valuable object we just prevented from being stolen.”
As if on cue, Bliss dropped from the air on a rainbow bungee cord right above our heads.
“Easy come, bro,” he said with a giggle as he reached for the chunk of stone in the Amazing Indestructo’s hands, “easy go.” And then, as quickly as he had appeared, he ricocheted back into the air, taking the meteorite with him.
“Yes,” offered Lord Pincushion dryly, “and what a smashing job you’ve done.”
Flustered, AI pressed on. “I may just be getting started,” he protested, “but soon I’ll be Superopolis’s greatest hero. And I’ll have the greatest team as well. So whaddaya say, kid?”
“Is no one concerned that the meteorite has just been stolen from right in front of us?” I practically hollered in frustration.
“Frankly, no,” huffed Zephyr, who stood there with a cranky look on his face.
“You’ll have to pardon our rudeness,” the Animator explained. “We were just on our way down to city hall to file bankruptcy papers. You see, our money has run out.”
“Yes,” confirmed Lord Pincushion. “And our attempts to gain some assistance from the ‘good’ citizens of Superopolis have led to naught.”
“I saw your telethon the other night!” piped up Funnel Boy. “Zephyr’s hand shadows were really keen!”
“Thank you, lad,” he huffed with pride.
“It’s a shame you were the only one who thought so,” Lord Pincushion added pointedly.
“But what about the meteorite?” I asked, trying to get back to the subject at hand.
“Frankly, we’re just not that concerned about a stolen rock.” Zephyr shrugged.
“Don’t get us wrong.” MagnoBox hastily stepped in. “We came to your aid because you were in danger. See the full story tonight at eleven! But our days of putting ourselves at risk over stolen objects are past.”
“Say, maybe you should join up with me!” the Amazing Indestructo suddenly blurted out. “I’ve got all sorts of great ideas on how to make the hero business pay for itself and more!”
“Such as selling seeds?” Lord Pincushion said in disgust as he used a fencing blade to spear one of the scattered packs blowing about the street.
“He doesn’t sell them,” pointed out InvisiBoy sullenly. “We do.”
“Revolting,” Pincushion exclaimed.
“Hey, the kids are part of a team I’m forming,” AI protested. “They’re just doing their share to help finance it. Besides, kids are cute. People buy more from them than they would from me.”
“So I see,” giggled the Animator, glancing back at the beak-faced woman who was just finishing off the inventory.
“I hate to say it, boss,” the Bee Lady whispered to Lord Pincushion, “but the lunkhead may have a point. Having kids on the team could help sell stuff to other kids. I’ve been inventing devices for us for years. It might be fun to try making toys instead.”
“Well, we’re too late to file for bankruptcy today, anyway,” he replied with a resigned sigh. “And now we have the whole weekend in front of us. I’ll decide tonight whether I’ve whittled my self-respect down to the point where I might consider what you’re suggesting.”
Lord Pincushion signaled Zephyr, who whipped up a breeze strong enough to lift all five members of the league.
“Hey, can you do that for me, too?” asked the Amazing Indestructo. “I need some cool sort of way to get around town. I doubt the meteor kid is going to be able to carry me.”
Lord Pincushion already had an adamant no forming on his lips when the Bee Lady piped in.
“Let’s bring him along,” she whispered. “I’ve got a device I’ve been dying to test that he would be perfect for.”
“Very well,” Lord Pincushion said with resignation.
Zephyr summoned a gust to lift up Superopolis’s soon-to-be greatest hero. In a matter of seconds the winds had carried them all away, and I found myself alone with Funnel Boy, Inflato, and InvisiBoy.
“Did you hear that?” Inflato said excitedly. “They might make me a member of the League of Goodness!”
“They might make all of us members,” Funnel Boy pointed out, “not just you.”
“Aren’t the three of you a team?” I asked.
“AI started with me and InvisiBoy,” Funnel Boy explained. “He just added Inflated Head to the group earlier today.”
“I can’t help it if he thought you guys needed my help,” Inflato protested.
InvisiBoy and Funnel Boy just rolled their eyes. Inflato was clearly as annoying to them as he would be to me in the future.
“So what does the Amazing Indestructo call you?”
“He’s never really given us a team name,” admitted InvisiBoy. “Although a couple of times he’s called us the Ankle Biters.”
“You guys need a real name,” I decided. “Who do you respect more, AI or the League of Goodness?”
“Well, we all thought AI was pretty neat,” said Funnel Boy.
“Until we got to know him,” InvisiBoy interjected.
“That’s a common reaction,” I confirmed.
“Now I guess we’d say we respect the League of Goodness more.” InvisiBoy shrugged.
“So call yourselves the Junior Leaguers,” I said matter-of-factly, as it suddenly dawned on me how these kids ended up with the same name as my team in the future.
“The Junior Leaguers featuring the Great Inflato!” Inflato said proudly, as he began to puff himself back up.
“We’re stuck with Inflato, but what about you?” asked InvisiBoy. “Will you be part of our team?”
“Of course,” I said. “And I already have a mission for us.”
Half an hour later, we were back in Telomere Park, approaching the water tower. It was now beginning to get dark, and a shiver ran down my spine as I noticed that there were lights on around the base of the Time Tipler. I
warned my new teammates to be silent as we inched our way closer.
When we got up near the base of the tower, we could see immediately that the Commune for Justice was already there. And who were they presenting the stolen meteorite to?
“It’s Professor Brain-Drain,” InvisiBoy hissed in alarm.
We all watched silently as the Professor gleefully examined the meteorite.
“Thank you so much, my fragrant friends,” he began. “Once I’ve made the final preparations, I will, as promised, use it to transport you all to the land of perfection of which you’ve all dreamed.”
“A place where no one ever has to work?” asked Hammer.
“A place where parents can’t ruin my life?” added Aquarius.
“A place where duties are easy to shirk,” said SkyDiamond.
“A place without bathing, and a place without strife,” Bliss concluded with a strum on his ukulele.
Professor Brain-Drain just grinned enigmatically.
“Yes,” he finally responded. “Something like that. And once I’ve proven it works”—Professor BrainDrain’s cackle began to build from deep in his lungs—“I’ll destroy the people of Superopolis in a way they’ll never forget.”
Fortunately, the inherent illogic of that statement caused me to pause just as I was about to streak over and steal the meteorite back from the Professor. In that fraction of a second I had a sudden and horrible realiza-tion: I had no choice but to let Professor Brain-Drain go ahead with his horrible and fiendish plan.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
The Secret Origin of the League of Ultimate Goodness
It was a sobering reality. I had to let Professor BrainDrain proceed with his plot, and two days from now, I, as Meteor Boy, would have to be there to prevent it. It was the only way I would ever get back to my own time.
So it was up to me to make sure that events occurred exactly the way I knew they must in order for the future to turn out the way I knew it did. (Man, that’s a statement that makes me dizzy just saying it!) And here I was, stuck for at least two days twenty-five years in the past. I had a lot to take care of, and I was going to need the help of my newfound friends.
“C’mon, guys,” I said as I began to back away from the scene we had just witnessed. “We have to get away from here.”
“Huh?” Funnel Boy responded in surprise. “Shouldn’t we attack Brain-Drain?”
“We have plenty of time,” I whispered. “He won’t put his plan into action for another two days yet.”
“How do you know?” asked Inflato.
Just then Professor Brain-Drain spoke aloud: “Now that I have the meteorite, I need just two days to finalize my plans. Then good-bye Superopolis!”
“Whoaaaa!” all three boys said at once. “How did you know?”
“It would take too long to explain,” I replied in the understatement of the quarter century to come. “Let’s get out of here.”
As we neared the exit of Telomere Park it was now dark, but a full moon hung in the sky just above the tops of the Carbunkle Mountains. It was Friday night. I had left my own time on Tuesday, October fifteenth, but here, twenty-five years earlier, the fifteenth was a Friday. My new friends were eager to spend their weekend as sidekicks to the League of Goodness. We all agreed to meet first thing in the morning at Needlepoint Hill to see if we would actually have the chance.
“Until tomorrow, fellow Junior Leaguers,” I said with mock seriousness as I blasted into the air.
They continued standing there shouting and waving as I speedily ascended. When they were out of sight, I turned and headed for Needlepoint Hill. I didn’t have the luxury of waiting until tomorrow.
I arrived at Pinprick Manor at about eight o’clock. Even though it would have been a breeze to fly right up to the front door of the house, I instead used the elevator hidden at the base of the hill. There, I punched the button indicating the main headquarters level, and the car began to rise.
When it reached its destination, the silence within the car was broken the instant the doors began to part. Hurtling straight toward me was the Amazing Indestructo at an incredible speed, flames belching from behind him. It wasn’t the rocket pack strapped to his back that was making all the noise, though—it was the high-pitched, girly scream erupting from his mouth as he came barreling right at me. I instantly ducked, and it was a good thing. He missed the top of my head by barely an inch as he smashed against the inside back wall of the elevator and crumpled into a heap.
“I told you there was no hope,” I heard Lord Pincushion mutter as he and the Bee Lady rushed to help. “This buffoon will never get the hang of the controls.”
“But he’s the perfect person to test it,” she protested. “See? He can’t be hurt.”
She was right. AI was already getting to his feet, an excited, dopey grin on his face. It was then that they finally noticed me standing there.
“Good heavens!” said Lord Pincushion. “How did you enter our inner sanctum? You really shouldn’t be poking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but I think I might be able to help you all out.”
“Indeed?” said Pincushion. “And how, pray tell, might you go about doing that?”
“Hey, kid,” AI interjected as he got back on his feet, “don’t be giving away any trade secrets. Remember, you work for me.”
“I don’t work for you!” I spun around and glared at him. “And you’ve got a lot of nerve trying to stop me from helping the league at the very same moment they’re giving you the ability to fly. Are you completely shameless?”
I couldn’t believe how I was talking to the Amazing Indestructo, a hero who had been my ideal for most of my life. Of course, that was before I actually met him. I had already learned how to push his buttons, though, as I now saw his eyes tear up and his lip begin to quiver.
“You’re right,” he began to sob. “I’ll never be a success, and I don’t deserve to be.”
“Well, that second part is true,” I said, “but the fact of the matter is you are going to be an incredible success.”
“I am?” he said, raising his head back up expectantly.
“He is?” the Bee Lady and Lord Pincushion said in unison.
“Absolutely,” I insisted. “You’re helping to make it possible already by outfitting him with this rocket pack.”
“It’s an invention I’ve been working on for years,” the Bee Lady pointed out. “But this has been my first chance to test it. Anyone else who tried it would get burned to a crisp.”
“Not me,” boasted the Amazing Indestructo. “I’m indestructible!”
“We know,” I said. “Anyway, I think I have a proposal that will be a win-win for all of you.”
“Child, we are at your disposal.” Lord Pincushion bowed deeply as the sharp objects stuck into him clinged and clanged against each other. “Please follow us into the recreation room and you can address us all together. It may be your last chance if the bank has its way and forecloses on our headquarters next week.”
We crossed the wide-open headquarters and passed into a room at the far end of the hangarlike space. Inside, we found the Animator and Zephyr watching TV. Or rather, we found them watching MagnoBox, who appeared to be broadcasting a game show.
“The answer is planter’s wart,” the Animator spoke to the screen.
“The answer is toe fungus,” insisted Zephyr almost simultaneously.
“Planter’s wart is correct,” a voice on the screen confirmed.
“Bah,” hissed Zephyr.
“Pardon the interruption,” said Lord Pincushion as we entered. “But this lad would like our attention as he explains to us how, with the aid of Indestructo here, we might save ourselves from financial ruin.”
“Uh, the Amazing Indestructo,” AI corrected.
“Amazing-ness must be earned,” Pincushion replied dismissively.
“That’s true,” I jumped in, trying to ignore the fact that I was standing be
fore some of the greatest heroes in history. “But it will happen. In fact, it’s inevitable. Just think about it. He’s got a power that absolutely guarantees that he’s going to be around fighting crime for decades.”
“It’s true.” AI beamed. “I’m indestructible!”
“Yes, we know,” sighed Lord Pincushion.
“And what he lacks in depth and character,” I continued, “he more than makes up for in superficial charm and looks.”
“Indeed,” Pincushion admitted as the Bee Lady and the Animator nodded.
“It’s a visual age,” agreed MagnoBox, whose face had now replaced that of the game show host on his screen. “More and more, people are beginning to believe anything that they see on television. Doctors smoke Carcino Lights, the healthy cigarette! Someone who looks good on TV can be hugely successful even if he has nothing else going for him.”
“He’s right!” The Amazing Indestructo nodded his head vigorously. “I have all sorts of plans to publicize myself on the air.”
“But so far you haven’t found any networks interested in promoting you, have you?” I hazarded a guess.
“Well, no,” admitted AI.
“But would they say the same thing if you brought them a show called The Adventures of the League of Goodness, featuring the Amazing Indestructo?”
“Hmm,” pondered AI as the idea sank in. “I see your point—especially if it were called The Adventures of the Amazing Indestructo and the League of Goodness. Although it needs something to punch it up a little—maybe an adjective or two.”
Lord Pincushion sighed and rolled his eyes.
“I would go insane dealing with this imbecile,” he insisted.
“But you wouldn’t have to,” I explained. “You can work with him for as short a time as you like. AI just needs an established name to launch his own career. And he’s shameless enough to make tons of money off it.”
“I am standing right here,” he pointed out.
“I know it’s not ideal. But you’re ready to retire,” I continued, ignoring AI, “and you have a high-profile team name but no money.”
The Return of Meteor Boy? Page 16
