by Lili Valente
Now she just had to get him out of her life and she would truly be ready to move on.
Blake grunted. “You want to tell me about it?”
“Not really,” she said. “I haven’t told anyone. I’ve been too ashamed.”
“I’m sure you have nothing to be ashamed of,” he said, kissing the top of her head again, sending a wave of melancholy rushing through her.
“Oh, I do.” Erin laughed, a short, sad sound. “I was really, really stupid. Crazy, fucked in the head, stupid.”
“Hey, you’re talking to the guy who kidnapped his high school girlfriend.” He smoothed her hair from her forehead. “You can’t get much more fucked in the head than that.”
This time her laugh was genuine.
Jesus. Only Blake could make her laugh a few minutes after crying her eyes out.
“So spill it,” he said. “I’m not going to judge. I’m in no position to.”
Erin took a deep breath, not certain how to begin. So she started with the basics, how she’d met Scott at one of the classier BDSM clubs in town. How he’d captured her interest from the start, seeming so much more Dominant than any of the other men she’d met. She told Blake how Scott had swept her away for long weekends at posh resorts up and down the California coast, and then surprised her with a giant rock four months into their relationship.
“We were married two months later, near Santa Barbara, at a winery,” Erin said, feeling oddly detached from the story of her life. All of those happy memories seemed like they had happened so long ago, like they were the backstory for a different person than the woman she was now.
“Sounds like a fairy tale so far,” Blake said. “If you’re a submissive woman who’s into really rich guys.”
Erin smiled. “Yeah, it was pretty good. We had a great time together, and he was always respectful. Scott kept the Dom thing going just about all the time, but he never pushed my limits. I guess that’s why I had no issue with signing the paperwork he had his lawyers draw up before the wedding. And I was twenty-one and stupid, that was a big part of it, too.”
“A prenup agreement?” Blake asked.
“Well, there was that, but there was also a master-slave agreement.” She lifted her head from his chest, glancing up at him through her lashes. “You ever heard of those?”
“I have.” The dark note in his voice made it clear he didn’t like the sound of them. “I don’t know too many long-term Dom-sub couples, so I don’t have any personal experience, but I’ve heard of them.”
God, how she wished she didn’t have any personal experience with them.
If she could go back in time and refuse to sign the thing, she’d do it in a heartbeat, even if it meant she had to relive those years with Scott. No matter how awful they’d been, her beautiful, sweet Abby had come out of that time, so Erin could never count them as a waste.
She sighed, not in a hurry to get to the next part of the story. “From what I understand, there isn’t a standard boilerplate contract for the master-slave agreement. It’s as open or restrictive as the Dom and sub decide for it to be.”
Blake hummed beneath his breath, making his chest vibrate. “Let me guess, this guy wanted it as restrictive as he could get it.”
Erin wet her lips. “Yep. I signed over control of almost everything. My money, my right to drive, to leave the house without Scott chaperoning—all kinds of things that should have rung alarm bells, but didn’t.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Like I said. I was stupid.”
“But those contracts aren’t really legal, Erin,” Blake said. “It’s not like a Dom-sub agreement would stand up in court.”
“Oh, I know,” she said, bitterness creeping into her tone. “But that didn’t matter once we were married. I had no money, no car to drive. No way out. Not that I wanted out, not then anyway. I started to get tired of the full-time control, but we were making it work.”
Erin’s jaw clenched. It was time to drop the big bomb. She knew it was though she feared what Blake would think of her when he discovered how she’d failed her child. “Things didn’t get really bad until I accidentally got pregnant.”
She risked a peek up into his dark eyes, but he didn’t look surprised.
“You knew?” she asked, brow wrinkling in confusion.
Blake nodded. Just once. “I had a friend check up on you while you were getting ready. He told me you had a one-year-old little girl. Abigail?”
“Abby, she’ll be one in a few weeks,” Erin said, anger spiking in her bloodstream as she remembered what she’d overhead. “And I heard you talking to your friend, trying to see if I had a criminal record.”
She propped up on her arms, glaring at Blake. “What the hell, Blake? I’ve never done anything illegal, except get a tattoo when I was sixteen. I never even drank that much until I was twenty-one.”
“Is that why you ran? Because you heard me on the phone?” He looked so hopeful Erin couldn’t hold on to her anger.
She let out a long breath as she propped her chin on top of her fists. “It made me feel like you didn’t trust me and that hurt so much. I mean, I’d given you my trust, even though you were the one who—”
“Abducted you and hauled you off to my mountain lair?”
She lifted a wry brow. “Yeah. That.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. For all of it.” Blake leaned close, kissing her on the lips for the first time since they’d fought. “Can you forgive me?”
Could she?
Of course she could. She was already halfway there.
The better question was: should she?
Should she let herself forgive Blake, even when he’d proven he was as crazy as she was?
CHAPTER THREE
Erin
Electricity swept over Erin’s skin, tightening her nipples, making her keenly aware that she was almost naked in Blake’s arms.
“Maybe,” she said in a breathy voice, her gut telling her she’d never be able to hold a grudge against this man, no matter how hard she might try. “But it hurt, Blake. A lot.”
“I understand, but I was only trying to help,” he said. “You said you had secrets and I wanted to make sure that, whatever those secrets were, I could still make things okay for us. I was trying to make sure I was in a position to protect you, Erin. That’s all.”
“Oh.” When he put it like that, it was…sweet.
Controlling, but sweet.
Still, she wasn’t up for another relationship like the one she’d had with Scott and Blake needed to get that message—right now. “But you should have trusted me to tell my secrets when I was ready,” she said. “Not gone behind my back and violated my trust.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He reached up, cupping her cheek tenderly in his hand. “And I should never have forced you to come back here with me. It was wrong.”
“Well…don’t let it happen again,” Erin said, trying hard to resist the urge to claim his lips and kiss him until they both forgot all the mistakes they’d made. After years of celibacy, her libido still hadn’t gotten enough of this man.
Celibacy.
Unfortunately, that brought her back to her story. She might as well finish the sad, stupid tale and get it over with.
“So, anyway,” she said with a sigh. “I got pregnant with Abby and I was so, so excited. She wasn’t planned, but I’d always wanted kids. I figured it was a happy surprise and expected Scott to feel the same.”
Blake’s eyes darkened. “But he didn’t?”
“He tried to convince me to have an abortion.” She swallowed against the familiar surge of loathing that rose inside her whenever she thought about her ex. “When I refused, he just…shut off. He barely spoke to me for weeks. He wouldn’t touch me or sleep in the same bedroom and started staying at the office later every night. He said he found pregnancy repulsive.”
“Son of a bitch,” Blake growled.
Erin’s lips twitched. “I think that was part of the problem. His mother is a real freak show and he
was an only child. I think he equates women who are mothers with evil or something. At least that’s the hypothesis I came to in my freshman psych class.”
“You went to college?” he asked, obviously pleasantly surprised. “That’s amazing, Erin.”
What a difference from Scott, who had mocked her attempts to start school when she was already older than most of the graduating seniors. He’d insisted he made plenty of money and she was better off at home, serving her husband like a good submissive wife.
“Thanks. But I only did two semesters,” she said, with a shrug. “One when I was pregnant with Abby and one after. They had a really good child-care room at the community college and it was close enough for me to walk there from our house, so…”
“That’s great,” he said. “You should go back and finish up. You were always good at school.”
Her eyes began to tear again at the simple compliment. Blake was the only man she’d ever known who seemed to value her brain as much as her body. Hell, the only one who even realized that she had a brain. Most guys got an eyeful of the blond hair and big boobs and didn’t look much further.
“Oh, no, please don’t cry. I’m not sure I can take much more.” He laughed, but she still did her best to pull it together. She didn’t want to cry anymore, either. Her head was already throbbing.
“So what happened after Abby was born?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Scott didn’t like my post-pregnancy body any more than my pregnant one, but that was fine by me. At that point, I was already looking for a way out.”
She traced the pattern on Blake’s sweater, concentrating on the swirls instead of her own words. “But Abby was so tiny and helpless and I was scared. I didn’t know how I’d survive with a newborn, no job, and not a dime to run away on. And to be fair, Scott did seem to love Abby…in his way, once she outgrew the colic and started smiling and playing more.”
“But that doesn’t sound like a good life. For you or Abby.”
“It wasn’t,” she said, stomach cramping as she remembered how alone she’d felt during those long, dark days. “And Scott made it obvious he resented the fact that I’d ruined his plans to never have children. At first he just ignored me, but then he started to say things.”
“What kind of things?” Blake asked, anger simmering in his tone.
She shrugged. “Anything that would hurt. He’d talk about how my looks had gone downhill, how I was a lazy housewife—even though he had a maid come in twice a week so there wasn’t much cleaning to do. He’d say I was a high school dropout too dumb to be trusted with a child or—”
“Where does he live?” Blake asked sharply. “Because I’ve suddenly got a strong desire to punch him in his ugly mouth.”
“No! You can’t. Promise me you’ll never go near him.” As soon as the panicked words were past her lips, Erin realized her response had been too strong, but it was too late.
“You’re still afraid of him,” Blake observed, eyes narrowing. “But you don’t have to be, Erin. Not anymore. I swear I won’t let that nasty fuck hurt you again.”
Erin swallowed hard.
God, could she tell him? Would Blake help her, or would he think she was a piece of shit herself for letting Scott get his hands on her child?
“I promise you,” Blake insisted. “No matter what happens with me and you, I’m going to make sure you’re safe.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she said, rushing on before she could second-guess herself. “When I finally left him, I took Abby. I changed our names and tried my best to hide, but I didn’t run far enough. He found us and he…took her.”
Blake frowned. “Took her? How? You’re both her parents, no court in California is going to—”
“We haven’t gone to court and we probably won’t,” Erin said. “Scott had his lawyer draw up a divorce decree that he expects me to sign as is. It gives him full custody of Abby.”
“That’s bullshit,” Blake said, his muscles tensing. “Your lawyer will fight that. There’s no way that asshole can—”
“I don’t have a lawyer.”
“Then we’ll get you one. Tomorrow. First thing.” Blake paused, obviously waiting for her to respond, but she didn’t know what to say. How to confess the worst of it. “Erin? Did you hear me?”
Blake captured her face in his hands, urging her to look up and meet his eyes. The confusion she read there made her chest ache. But then, he had every right to be confused. She hadn’t told him the worst of it, the reason she was scared to death to lawyer up and fight for her baby girl.
“Scott is dangerous,” Erin said, heart beating faster as she tried to finish this awful story. But for some reason, it was nearly impossible to bring herself to say the words. As if saying them out loud might make the danger to Abby more real.
“I understand why you’re afraid,” Blake said gently. “But you can’t let this creep bully you out of your child’s life. She needs you. You have to fight for her.”
“Believe me, there’s nothing I’d like more. I love Abby more than anything in the world. I promise you that.” The back of her throat grew tight. “And I know living with Scott isn’t a good situation for anyone, especially a baby.”
“Then let’s go get her,” Blake said, the intense look in his eyes leaving no doubt he meant every word. “I’ll drive you there tonight. We’ll walk in and take Abby and I’ll beat the living hell out of the man if he tries to get in our way.”
Erin rolled her eyes again. “Great, Blake. And then he’ll call the police and you’ll be arrested and I’ll look like an unfit mother for bringing my boyfriend to beat up my husband. This is not something that can be solved with fists. We’re not in high school anymore.”
Blake sighed. “You’re right. I just can’t stand to think of that man having your baby. I’ve got a bad feeling about it.”
“You should.” Erin swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Because Scott said he would kill Abby before he’d let me be a part of her life.”
“What?” Blake’s voice was thick with equal parts rage and disbelief.
Erin’s pulse beat fast and thready in her throat. “If I fight for custody or try to take her again, he said he’d kill her. That he’d be careful and make sure no one would ever suspect that it was anything but an accident.”
Blake looked stunned. “He wouldn’t. He’s bluffing to scare you.”
“No, he’s not, Blake.” Her voice shook and she suddenly felt the chill lingering in the cabin. “If there’s one thing I learned about Scott Sakapatatis in the years we were married it’s that he always keeps his promises. Always. Especially the scary ones.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Blake
Blake was quiet for a few minutes, his mind racing as he pulled a trembling Erin so close it felt like the fronts of their bodies would fuse together.
Not only was he a head case, he was a fool.
He should have known Erin would never lie and say she loved him just to gain her freedom. She wouldn’t have reached for him after he set her free or be spilling her guts right now if she didn’t love him. She wasn’t the type to talk emotional stuff with anyone but her nearest and dearest, but her feelings were as real as the passion between them.
And as real as the hellish position she was in with her husband.
No wonder she’d let the bastard take their daughter. Even if the man were lying, what mother would be willing to risk the chance—even the slight chance—that he wasn’t? He was threatening her child’s life, for God’s sake.
Scott was a fucking monster, whether he was bluffing with the death threat or not.
“I’m just spit-balling,” Blake said in a low, soothing voice. “But couldn’t you tell a DHS worker about what he said? Wouldn’t that be enough to get Abby removed from his home?”
“DHS is overworked and underfunded and they call before they visit a home. You know that. I’m scared to risk it.” Erin’s breath rushed out on a shaky breath. “B
esides, who would take my word over Scott’s? I’m a high school dropout who worked as a lingerie model, and now I’m a bartender at a sleazy bar. He’s a rich real estate investor who graduated top of his class at Stanford.”
Blake wanted to tell her things like that wouldn’t matter, but he knew better. Classism was still very alive and well, especially in California.
“Your silence is reassuring,” she said, shifting in his arms, the way her breasts pressed against his chest reawakening his need for her. Even now, in the midst of this terrifying conversation, he still wanted to be inside Erin.
When they were making love, when he was buried to the hilt in her gripping heat, he didn’t have to think about anything. Not the danger her little girl was in, not the uncertain future, and certainly not the fact that he wasn’t the man he’d thought he was only a few short weeks ago. He’d not only followed through on his plan to kidnap Erin, he’d chased her down like an animal when she’d run and used brute force to haul her back to his cabin. He obviously wasn’t right in the head and was displaying far more similar traits to her bully of an ex-husband than he wanted to admit.
Even if he figured out a way to help her and cleared the path for them to start dating, how could he be sure he was any better for her than the man he’d helped her escape? He’d never dream of threatening a child—the thought sickened him—but not so long ago he’d been certain he’d never kidnap a woman and tattoo her against her will, either…
Did he even know what he was capable of anymore?
“Blake? Is something wrong?” Erin’s eyes were worried, but she still clung to him the same way she had since he’d untied her.
When she’d reached for him, offering him comfort in spite of what he’d done, Blake had thought his heart would explode. She really did care; it hadn’t all been a lie.
But maybe she would have been better off if it had been.
He loved her, but who knew if love would be enough? Could Blake be certain he’d do any better by Erin than her ex? Sure, he’d never ignore her or tear her down with words, but who knew what else he’d do once he’d settled into being the Dominant man around the house. No matter how strong Erin was, she was a submissive. She would place her trust in him and have faith that he would make the best decisions for them both.
