by Lili Valente
He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and set it on the table next to the plane ticket. “These are directions to the shop and Blake’s condo. I took the liberty of having a key made to his place in case you decide to make yourself at home. He’s been working the early shift at the shop, twelve to eight.”
Erin bit her lip, trying to fight the excitement making her heart beat faster but finding it impossible. Rafe wasn’t a hopeless romantic; he was a practical man, even a cynical one. If he was here, insisting Blake was lost without her, she had damned well better believe it.
“Let me ask you one question,” she said.
Rafe nodded. “Shoot.”
“Is that ticket one-way?”
He smiled. “It sure is.”
She returned his grin. “Good. Because if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it right.”
“Good.” The warmth in his dark eyes finally made her see why this was a man who made women swoon. Rafe was a gorgeous human being when he let his softer side show. “A woman after my own heart. Though I did get a round-trip ticket to Kauai. Two, actually. I plan on bringing someone home with me.”
“The woman who inspired the change of heart?” Erin asked, happy for the man.
“Yeah. I was pretty sure I hated her until I realized I’m fucking crazy about her.” He frowned as he crossed to the door. “Amazing what you learn about yourself when you hear someone’s eloped with another man.”
“Oh, no,” Erin said. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s all right,” Rafe said with another heartbreaker grin. “I’m going to get there before the ceremony and talk sense into her. You want me to help you pack anything before I go? The next direct flight leaves at eleven o’clock. I assume you’ll want to be on that one. No sense leaving that man down there to suffer any longer.”
Erin glanced around the room at the furnishings that had come with the studio and the very few things she’d managed to bring with her and Abby when they left Scott the first time. She wasn’t going to be sad to leave the place that had been their home for the past two months. “No, I think I can throw our clothes in a couple of suitcases and box up the rest of the stuff before we need to catch a cab. There’s not that much here.”
“All right, then, I guess I’ll be heading out.” He paused and turned to catch her eye. “You’re really going, right?”
“I am.” The last of her resistance faded away as she imagined how amazing it would be to see Blake again.
“Thank you,” Rafe said, vulnerability in his eyes she’d never seen before. “And don’t let him tell you no.”
“Thank you.” She smiled. “I won’t.”
As she watched Rafe leave, she realized she’d never meant anything more.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Blake
“You want a sandwich from the Cuban bakery?” Garret, one of the Miami studio’s most talented artists, stood at the door looking like the last thing he wanted to do was bring Blake a sandwich or a pastelito de guayaba. “They’ve got those hot ham and cheese ones and the pastries go half price after seven o’clock.”
Garrett looked like he’d prefer to run straight into the night and keep running until he was as far away from his boss as he could possibly get. But Blake couldn’t really blame the man. He hadn’t been a bundle of sweetness and light the past two months.
Rabid bear with anger-management issues was a more apt description.
Blake sighed. He had to step up his people skills. Missing Erin so badly it felt like his guts had spilled out all over the floor was no excuse for alienating his entire staff.
“No, thanks. I’m getting ready to head out. I’ve been here since noon,” Blake said, forcing a smile. “Good work today. I liked that portrait piece you started.”
“Thanks.” Garret’s thin face lit up, making him look even younger than his twenty-one years. He was the youngest of the three new artists they’d hired for the Miami opening, but had a gift for ink not many possessed at any age. “I’m pumped to finish it. Nice change from the average job.”
“Yeah. It’ll be a great addition to your portfolio. Catch you tomorrow.”
“Later,” Garret threw over his shoulder as he darted out the door.
There. Blake had made an effort to be nice. Now he could sleep soundly tonight.
Right. He hadn’t slept more than four hours straight since he left L.A. At this rate, mooning over Erin was going to make him old before his time. He already had permanent circles under his eyes, but he wasn’t too worried about them. He figured they complemented his beard and fleshed out the “slightly deranged” look.
“Be sure to lock up before you go, and make Tony walk you to your car so you get there safe,” Blake told Nina, the petite brunette filling in for Delilah behind the front desk while their usual office manager was on her combination wedding-honeymoon.
He never would have pegged Dee for the romantic elopement type, but she’d certainly seemed thrilled to go say “I do” to the investment banker who’d swept her off her feet. He was happy for her. It was nice to see someone having success in the relationship department.
“Sure thing, see you tomorrow,” Nina said, wiggling her fingers his way.
Blake patted his pocket, making sure his keys were still there, feeling like he was forgetting something as he headed out the back door. He wondered if he’d ever get used to not carrying a coat in the winter. It was late January, but the temperature rarely dipped below the high sixties. It was one of the things Rafe loved about Miami, but Blake hadn’t been able to work up the same enthusiasm for shorts and beach time year-round.
He hadn’t been able to work up much enthusiasm for anything besides missing Erin, replaying every moment they’d spent together, fantasizing about the feel of her bare skin against his and the way she drove him wild with just a kiss.
“Give it a rest, man,” he grumbled to himself as he guided his car through the busy streets and then onto the quieter avenue leading down to his beachside condo.
He’d made his decision and he was going to stand by it. This was best for Erin. She didn’t need another volatile man in her life putting her and her daughter in danger. He should stop torturing himself and concentrate on getting the hell over Erin and moving on.
Too bad that was easier said than done.
Maybe a stiff drink or two would help him get to sleep. He pushed open the door to his condo, debating scotch or vodka on the rocks, but froze before he took a step inside.
Someone was there. He could feel it.
“Goodness, Rafe was right.” Her voice came from across the shadowed room, near the windows that overlooked the ocean, making his skin prickle. “Even in the dark, I can tell you look awful.”
Blake tensed, his hand gripping the door handle, shock and excitement kicking up his heart rate. It was Erin, no doubt in his mind.
Or maybe all in his mind. Maybe he’d finally gone crazy enough to start hallucinating her voice. There was one way to find out.
He flicked on the lights, his chest and things lower in his body tightening as he took in the woman seated in his leather easy chair. Erin was decked out in a black corset and thigh-high stockings. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders in soft curls, and her lips shone with something pink and glossy. She was a fantasy come to life and even more beautiful than he remembered.
Too bad he had to send her on her way.
“What are you doing here?” he asked gruffly. “Are you in trouble? Is it Scott?”
“No, he’s still in the hospital,” she said with a smile. “Besides, I’ve got a restraining order and the paperwork is filed. He didn’t even fight for partial custody. Now it’s just a matter of waiting four more months for the divorce to be final. California has a mandatory waiting period.”
“Well…good, I’m happy for you. But you need to go.” Blake gritted his teeth as he gestured to the hallway. “Get dressed and get out.”
“No.” She stood in one smooth, easy motion and stalked
across the room, her high heels accentuating her long, long legs. She didn’t stop until she stood less than a foot away, close enough for him to smell the addictive scent of her perfume and the spicier smell that was all Erin. “Close the door.”
“I think we’ve established you’re not the one who gives orders, Erin.”
“Close the door, Blake. I won’t ask again.” She pulled a mini flogger from behind her back and held it up between them.
They both knew she couldn’t do him any damage with that tiny toy or anything else, but for some reason, Blake found himself letting the door swing shut. The look in her eyes was like nothing he’d ever seen. The woman was determined, and channeling some serious Dominant energy.
“Now, I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen,” she said, placing one hand in the center of his chest and shoving him back against the door. Even that small touch was enough to send a shock through his body, and blood surging to his cock. “First of all, you look terrible. What have you done to yourself?”
“I grew a beard,” he said, surprised to hear how penitent he sounded as if he were a sub who knew he had displeased his Mistress.
“A beard that’s crawling halfway down your neck. Poorly maintained facial hair is flat out gross, Blake.” She narrowed her eyes, searching his face. “And you’ve got circles under your eyes. Are you drinking too much?”
“Nope, just not sleeping enough.”
“And why aren’t you sleeping enough?” she asked, a hint of softness in her eyes. She expected to hear something about how much he missed her, but he wasn’t going to oblige. He had to get her to leave. Her and her daughter’s safety was more important than anything they felt for each other.
“I’ve been busy fucking beautiful women,” he said, keeping the words casual. “I’m expecting someone in an hour, so if you could get your things and be out of here by—”
“Bullshit,” she said with a lazy smile. “You haven’t slept with anyone since you left L.A.”
He scowled. “How would you know?”
“I don’t think you’d be this hard if you’d been such a busy boy.” Erin slid her hand down over his engorged cock, drawing a groan from the back of his throat. She leaned closer, whispering her next words against his lips. “Poor Blake. This feels like it hurts, but I’m here to take the pain away.”
“Stop,” Blake said, easing her hands away. “Listen, I understand what you’re trying to do, but—”
“No, you don’t understand. If you understood you’d know you should quit trying to get rid of me,” she said, her Dominant act faltering a bit. “Rafe told me how you’ve been, Blake, and I’ve been the same. Even with Abby back, it still feels like something’s missing since you left. It’s like a piece of me is gone, and I can’t remember how to be happy without it.”
“Erin, please. I’m not good for you and Abby. It’s better this way.”
Her beautiful face pulled into a frown. “Rafe said something about that, too, that you’ve convinced yourself you’re bad news or something stupid.”
“Now you’re calling me stupid?” Blake laughed despite himself. “See, this wouldn’t work. A big bad Dominant man doesn’t put up with his sub calling him names.”
Erin stepped closer, catching his eye with a look so intense he couldn’t bring himself to look away. “Listen to me. You are not a big bad Dom. You are Blake, an amazing man who happens to enjoy power-exchange games in the bedroom. Being a Dom is part of what you are, but it isn’t who you are.”
“Then who am I?” he asked softly. “If you’re seeing things so clearly.”
“You’re the man I love,” she said, her eyes glistening as she reached up to cup his face in her hand. “You’re the man I’ve always loved, a man who would never hurt anyone.”
Blake pulled away and pushed past her to pace into the room. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. God, he wanted to believe her, but he couldn’t, not after what had brought them back together in the first place.
“That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it? That you’d hurt me somehow?” she asked. “Well, that’s ridiculous. You’re not that type of person, you’re not Scott. I should—”
“I kidnapped you, Erin. Twice,” he said, his shame as thick as it had been two months ago. “Then I tied you down and was going to permanently mark your body, and I only stopped when you started crying so hard I couldn’t—”
“So what?” Erin interrupted with a defiant lift of her chin. “You didn’t go through with what you’d planned. You didn’t hurt me.”
“But I could have. And…I might in the future.” He sighed. “I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, period, let alone a Dom-sub long-term relationship. I could be a Scott in the making. I can’t promise you I’m not.”
“You know why I left Carson City the night after your birthday?” she asked, the abrupt change of subject enough to stun him into silence. “Let me tell you.”
Erin wandered toward the kitchen, climbing up on one of the bar stools tucked under the island that separated the living space from the dining space. “Phil had been cornering me for months, on nights when you and Naomi worked late.”
“What?” Blake’s stomach turned, and he knew he didn’t want to hear what Erin was going to say next.
“Sometimes he’d just pin my arms and shove his tongue in my mouth, but sometimes he’d get handsy.” Her eyes drifted to the ceiling. “He’d get fingers up my shirt or down my pants. Never for very long, and it never went further than that, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Especially after you moved out. Phil was afraid of you. But once you were gone I knew things would be different…worse.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was ashamed.” She sucked in a big breath, eyes still glued to a place above his head as if she couldn’t stand to look at him. “And even if I’d told you, I knew there was nothing you could do. Aside from getting yourself thrown in jail.”
“You could have gotten transferred to another home,” he said. “You could have—”
“There was no guarantee another home would have been any better.” Erin laughed bitterly. “You know what it’s like, Blake. I had to get out. I couldn’t take another two years of Phil or anyone else.”
Blake nodded, wanting to take her in his arms, but refusing to let himself touch her. If he started, he might never stop. “I’m sorry. I hope you know now that I wouldn’t have thought any less of you. It wasn’t your fault. You could have come to me. We would have figured something out without you running off on your own.”
“I know that now. And if I could go back…” She met his eyes again with a tight smile. “But I can’t and that’s not the point to the story.”
“What is the point? That the foster care system is seriously flawed?”
“Well, that.” She laughed. “And that I always knew Phil was a piece of shit. I had suspicions about Scott, too. I even tried to call off the wedding at one point before he talked me out of it. I didn’t know how bad things would get, but I knew we weren’t meant to be.” She paused, watching him with soft eyes. “But it’s different with you. You may not know it, but I do. You’re a good man, Blake, and we belong together. Always have, always will.”
“Erin, I love you. You know I do, but—”
“I love you, too.” She jumped off her chair and crossed the room, taking his hands in hers. “So there’s only one more question that needs to be answered. Well, maybe two questions.”
“And what are those?” he asked, feeling his will to fight slipping away. He wanted to believe Erin was right and that he could be the man she needed.
Maybe, with her help, he could be.
“Do you like kids? Abby in particular?” she asked. “Be honest.”
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I was afraid to hold her too long. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t ever want to let her go.” Blake paused, still afraid to let hope in. “But if you and I…and Abby… Thi
ngs would have to change. We’d have to keep the play in the bedroom.”
“We would, but that’s not such a big deal.” Erin smiled, tears filling her eyes. “God, it’s so good to hear you say that. About Abby. I’m so glad.”
Blake squeezed her hands. “What’s the second question?”
“It’s not so much a question as a statement.” She sniffed. “Our ticket was one-way. I brought all of our clothes and dropped the few things I had in boxes at the UPS store on the way to the airport. Damned Naughty said I could shoot the layout I’m doing for them as easily in Miami as L.A., and I sort of told my landlord I wouldn’t be coming back.”
“Sort of?” Blake asked, heart beating faster as he realized the full impact of her words.
“Not sort of, I flat out told him we were out of there. For good.” She laughed nervously, her fingers twining in front of her. “And I’ve got full physical and legal custody of Abby so there’s nothing from the past to weigh me down. I want the future. With you. Think you might have room for a couple of girls around the house?”
“A couple?” His eyebrows lifted. “Is Abby—”
“She’s in your room,” Erin said, gesturing toward the closed door. “There were more pillows in there and I wanted to make sure she didn’t roll off the bed if she started moving around in the night. She’s a wild sleeper.”
“Just like her mother.” Blake smiled, barely able to believe this was really happening.
A part of him still felt like he should be fighting the happiness and relief that coursed through his system at the thought of him and Erin and Abby becoming a family, but the rest of him was doing a good job of shutting that insanity down.
Erin was right. They belonged together, for better or worse.
But he was going to do his damnedest to make sure it was all better.
