“Hunter, Ayden had just been through a traumatic experience. Irrelevant to our history, I care about Ayden, and of course I wanted to visit to see if she was okay. You won’t talk to me. What else was I supposed to do?”
“Please stop,” I murmured.
“I don’t know... maybe warn me that you were coming, so I could make sure I wasn’t around when you did show up.”
Mason’s nostrils flared. “How could I when you never answer your phone?”
“Please stop,” I whispered again.
“Um, I don’t know... try texting me?!”
Mason was about to retort when I put my hand out. “Stop!” I exhaled a breath and with it came a sob. “Just listen to yourselves!” I sighed and shook my head. I had done this. I had broken them apart. “You’re father and son. You’re the only people you’ve got and you’re tearing into each other like this? And for what? Me? Nothing is worth splitting a father and son apart. Nothing.”
We all fell deathly silent for a while—staring at each other. When no one said anything, I spoke again, aiming my speech at Hunter. “You have to learn to forgive your father, Hunter. He’s done nothing wrong apart from keeping something from you. Something which was best kept away, so we could have avoided all of this pain and suffering. Yes, I know it’s bad to hide things from the ones you love, but sometimes you have to in order to avoid the emotional distress. Your father loved my mother. Wouldn’t you have done the same if the situation was reversed?”
Hunter gritted his teeth and dropped his head back on the wall. He was suffering; I knew he was, but he also knew my words had an element of truth in them—no matter how angry he was.
“I’m going to go and let you two speak.” We both looked at Mason, who was looking at Hunter. “Son, please get in touch once you calm down.” He then turned to me. “Take care of yourself, Ayden.” He smiled and I said my thanks. We watched as he went downstairs to the front door. When he opened it, the cameras started flashing, and a woman’s voice could be heard shouting, “Mr. Davenport, is it true that you had an affair with your stepdaughter?” The door slammed and Hunter and I were left wide-eyed and speechless.
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe this. First my mum and now the press had gotten wind of our family situation. How was I ever going to get through this now? Wasn’t dealing with my mother enough?
I heard Hunter sigh. “This isn’t going to work, is it?”
I squeezed my eyes even harder for a moment and felt the tears coming. When I willed myself to open them again, Hunter was standing there staring at me. He looked just as lost as I did.
Eventually, I shook my head. “No, it’s not.”
I was saving face. I desperately wanted Hunter, but I knew that as long as he had his dad and me in his head, he would never get over it. I was saving both him and me a lot of heartache down the road. Despite the fact that losing him would kill me, I knew he wanted me to let him go. I had to at least give him this because that’s what best friends do.
So, despite my heart aching in a way I had never experienced, I held Hunter’s hand and told him he was free. I told him to find happiness and that I wished him everything he ever desired. Because I cared for him deeply, because he was my friend, and because I loved him more than anything in this world.
Once Hunter heard my acceptance, he left—taking my blessing with him. But, no matter how much I put on a happy face, it didn’t take away the immeasurable pain I was in knowing I had lost the only man I had ever truly loved.
Once I shut the door, I leaned against it... unable to fathom how my life had turned out like this. All I had ever wanted was a happy, loving family. Hunter was it.
I had lost everything.
Chapter Thirty-Four
One year later
After a couple of weeks of crying and moping about the house, Christian kicked my arse and told me to stop being a pussy. I had to get on with life, and he would make sure I would because there was no way he was going to stand there and watch me deteriorate into nothing. Those were his exact words, and it was just the tonic I needed. If it hadn’t been for Christian, I would have probably wallowed more and more until I just vanished into thin air one day.
In the end, I hired an agent and got my whole sob story sold to the press. She told me it was in my best interests to get it out there, so that people heard my side—the truth. Not speculation, not conjecture—my story. What actually happened behind the doors of the Pearson residence.
My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She actually had quite a severe form of it that was passed down from my grandmother. All I knew of her was that she died of heart failure a couple of years after I was born. My mother obviously didn’t want to disclose that important piece of information to me. She hid it well. In fact, she hid it too well. She had been on medication without any of us knowing. At times, she would miss pills or drink alcohol on them, and that was obviously when she came for me. I was her paranoia. The one she thought was out to get her. I must admit it made me think of my uncle, Pete, too. He was always a little strange in his behaviour. It made me wonder if it had been passed on through his genes as well. Of course, after finding out, I worried it could be passed down to me, but my therapist said that despite my history and the signs that I was suffering post traumatic stress disorder, I was as healthy as the next person. It was great news, but it got me thinking about my life as a whole. Thus began my separate career as a writer.
Once I told my story, I went back to college as normal and set about doing my final year. In my spare time, I wrote and eventually accepted a publishing offer.
Ten months later, my mum went to trial for attempted murder. It went on for three weeks, and it was three weeks of hell. On the day of sentencing, my mother was given life for attempted murder with diminished responsibility. She was to serve at least twelve years before she had a chance of parole. She was now serving time in a psychiatric prison.
The press, of course, had a field day again, and it brought everything back for me again. I was scared it would make me retreat, but another pep talk from Christian gave me all the encouragement I needed to carry on. We weren’t living together anymore. As the house, my trust fund, and any other assets my mother once owned, went to me, I was left a very rich woman. In the end, I sold my family home. Although it held great memories, it was also filled with extremely bad ones. It broke my heart, but it was time to move on.
I found out that Robert was the main instigator in plotting my demise. He had the audacity to make out like I was cheating on him and thus deserved everything I got. Last I heard, his dad caught wind of his son’s extra-curricular activities involving me, and he was so embarrassed by him that he shipped him off to live with his aunt in America. I was glad to hear that because, afterwards, he actually did leave me alone.
Thankfully, in the end, things eventually died down again, but one thing remained a constant; I missed Hunter like he was my last breath.
Last May, I did my exams and passed with flying colours. I was offered a job soon after in London, working alongside a murder investigation team. I had been working there for three months, and my book was well on its way to publishing. All was great—apart from one thing.
Or rather—one person.
I hadn’t heard from Hunter since the day I had let him go. I hadn’t heard from Mason either, but I never expected to. Despite letting him go, I still couldn’t help the anger bubbling inside at the thought that he never tried to fight for us. I know I let him go, but he didn’t even try to fight. I held onto that hate because it was the only emotion I could handle.
I tried to date others, but no one could ever come close to Hunter. No one even came remotely close. I would find myself comparing them to Hunter. Always trying to find something in them that gave me that connection to him. I just felt nothing. I was doomed to be alone forever because I just couldn’t get over that damn man... no matter how hard I tried.
I was at the police station and was ready to go h
ome for the day. I had gathered my things, said goodbye to everyone, and was heading outside when I saw that... coming through the front doors was... Hunter. Seeing him instantly made my heart break all over again, but that wasn’t all. Beside him, under his arm, was a stunning woman. She was blonde—just like me—with blue eyes—just like me. She even looked a little like me.
I stopped dead in my tracks, and it was when Hunter looked my way for the first time. His mouth fell open, and for a while, we stood there just staring at one another. The same stare that held so much promise to me all those months ago. The same stare that haunted me day and night.
Eventually, getting over the shock, I stepped forward and so did Hunter. He smiled my way, and that was when his girlfriend noticed me for the first time. “Ayden, what a surprise.”
I saw his girlfriend frown and then recognition immediately surfaced on her face. Of course she knew about me. Everyone did. My whole soul had been bared to the world by now. Once my book came out, the whole world would know my true story.
“What are you doing in this neck of the woods?” I smiled brightly, even though my heart felt like it was crushed.
“Sally had her purse stolen in the coffee shop on Berkley Road. We were just coming in here to report it.”
I looked at Sally and she remained expressionless. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”
Hunter smiled and looked over my attire. I was wearing a blue skirt suit with a white blouse and high heels. I noticed he lingered a little too long at my legs, as his eyes roamed, and I couldn’t help but feel those fires start inside of me. He looked simply delicious as always with his dark hair, green eyes, and expensive grey suit on. No doubt he was working for his father’s firm by now.
“You look good, Ayden. Working here suits you.”
I gave him a cheeky smile, and I could see Sally was getting more and more agitated by the minute. “You look good, too, Hunter. I take it you’re working for Davenport and Son by now?”
He nodded. “Yeah. In the end, it was time to get over everything and move on.”
I kept my smile even though I ached inside. I was glad he forgave his father in the end and had moved on—even if he hadn’t extended the same courtesy to me. In fact, judging by Sally here, Hunter had moved on from me completely without a backwards glance. The thought killed me.
When the awkward silence ensued, I knew it was my cue to leave. There was no way I was going to stick around any longer and put myself through more pain.
“Well, I better be going home. It was nice to see you again, Hunter.” I looked at Sally. “And nice to see you, too. Take care of yourself.” Not wanting to make this any more uncomfortable, I walked off. I could tell Hunter wanted to say something, but he shut his mouth. So much has happened in this last year that I thought I would have been over him.
How wrong was I?
*****
A few more days passed, and I was in the coffee shop down the road from work. I often sat there to either read or write. I liked having alone-time... those times when I could be shut away from the outside world.
Unfortunately, this day wasn’t one of them. I was on the phone with my agent, and she was badgering me about my book. It went live yesterday, and things had been a little crazy. My escape to drink coffee was obviously fruitless.
“A Family Lost went straight to number one in the UK as well as in the US, Ayden. Congratulations! You must be thrilled.”
I sighed. I should be, but I wasn’t. Seeing Hunter the other day really did affect me. I had hardly eaten since. “I am thrilled. It’s great news, Betsy.”
She shrilled on the phone to me. “Everyone is already talking about it. You have reviews being posted every five minutes. It’s fantastic. Now, let’s talk about your signing tomorrow.”
She waffled on a little more, and I just sat there making all the right noises. I should have been interested, and I should have been grateful, but my heart was lost. I was lost.
We soon ended the call, and I sat there vacantly staring at the paper in front of me. I kept willing myself to read, but my eyes didn’t want to focus. As I sat there, my phone pinged, and I picked it up with a sigh. I didn’t want to converse with anyone, yet I had no other choice but to make the effort. When I saw the name, I gasped.
Fuck Face: Am I still called Fuck Face?
For the first time in a while, a small smile crept onto my face. I hadn’t had the heart to delete his phone number or his previous messages.
I sat there for a while wondering whether to respond, but my curiosity got the better of me.
Me: That’s for me to know.
It wasn’t long before a response came.
Fuck Face: I would certainly like to find out.
My eyes widened and my heart rate picked up.
Me: Wouldn’t Sally have something to say about that?
Fuck Face: Still haven’t lost that spark, I see.
Me: I’m just calling it how I see it.
Fuck Face: I saw your book released yesterday. Congratulations.
I noticed the change in subject and replied.
Me: Thank you.
Fuck Face: Some things you never move on from.
I sat and stared at the text for a moment, my heart beating rapidly. Hunter had obviously read my book, and I didn’t quite know how I felt about it. I knew there was a chance he would, but I never thought it would be this quick, and I most certainly didn’t think I would hear from him about it.
That sentence was reserved for Hunter. I was honest in the book speaking about my loss of a best friend and lover. Someone I knew I would never move on from. My publisher loved that part. For me, it was a chance to close a chapter in my life in order to move on. For my publisher, it was all about a broken love story that would make anyone, who would ever read it, yearn to have a happily-ever-after at the end. I, unfortunately, knew that would never happen.
Fuck Face: It’s not like you to not have a comeback, AJ.
My heart skipped a beat at the look of his nickname for me. I hadn’t been called AJ since Hunter, and I knew that was how it would remain.
Me: You read it.
Fuck Face: Yes.
Me: What did you think?
I sat there biting my lip. I was getting ready for him to bite back. I always thought Hunter may become angry with me about it. I never mentioned his name, but he would know.
Fuck Face: It was a great, solid story told from the heart. I liked it. The author has great talent, but I always knew she did. She just needed to have a little faith in herself.
I smiled. Hunter always knew how to make my heart light up. I was about to reply when another came through.
Fuck Face: I also connected with the author in a big way. In fact, she doesn’t realise this yet, but I’m still very much in love with her.
I grabbed my chest—unable to comprehend what I was reading. He had moved on. I had seen it with my own eyes just a few days ago when he was with his girlfriend.
Fuck Face: You should hardly be surprised, AJ.
I covered my mouth as a shocked sob left my lips. I was smiling like an idiot, and yet I shouldn’t be. He left me when I needed him. If anything I should be ignoring his text messages, so I could just move on. He was being cruel by putting me through this again.
Me: Why are you doing this, Hunter? You moved on. I saw it with my own eyes in the police station a few days ago.
Fuck Face: Sally and I are finished. Seeing you put a stop to that. I tried getting over you, AJ. I really did. I ended up comparing any girl I was ever with to you. I was never going to find you in any of them was I, AJ? Because there will never be another you.
I thought my heart couldn’t take much more. If Hunter was just telling me this with no recourse, then he was being very cruel.
Me: I don’t know what you’re trying to say.
Fuck Face: I’m trying to say I love you, AJ. I’ve been miserable without you.
I looked at the phone for a minute trying to think o
f what to write next. For a woman, who wrote a two hundred thousand word book, I was certainly silent.
Fuck Face: You look beautiful.
I gasped and shot my head up to the room. I couldn’t see him amongst the coffee drinkers. No matter how much I craned my neck, nothing. It was then I heard my phone ping again.
Fuck Face: Look to your left.
I did as asked, noticing there was a corner in the coffee house that I hadn’t seen. Hunter appeared from that corner with a big grin on his face. He looked simply beautiful.
For a while, we stared, and then he looked down to his phone and started typing.
Fuck Face: Go on a date with me.
I tried my hardest to hide the smile, but couldn’t help it. I typed one back.
Me: No.
I looked up and saw him read he message. He frowned and started typing.
Fuck Face: I know I’m over a year late asking, but I really want to go on that date with you, Ayden Pearson. Please say yes.
I placed my phone down, ending the conversation, and Hunter came strolling over. He didn’t say a single word at first. He just pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Why are you here, Hunter?” I sounded more exasperated than I should have been.
“I thought I made myself clear.” He saw my expression. “Not clear enough? Okay.” He cleared his throat and pulled his chair in. “I fucked up.” I started laughing, and he cocked his eyebrow at me. “I know I did, but you said it was best that we split. You were just as in this as I.”
I breathed in a heavy sigh. “Only because I thought that’s what you wanted. I also thought you would fight for me. I thought maybe, just maybe, you would fight for us.”
Hunter’s posture picked up. “But you said—”
“I know what I said, but saying things and meaning them are a different story.”
Hunter ran his hand through his hair. I had missed that. “So, all that crap about it being best to go our separate ways was all bullshit, and you expected me to know this?”
“Yes!” I shouted... a little too loudly. A few people looked up, and I sat back, crossing my arms.
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