“Hi, Jessi. I need you to do me a favor. We need to get those autographed photos to the venue. You also need to confirm catering and that we have a bartender for the reception tomorrow night. I heard there was some issue with the liquor license and I’m not having a VIP reception where we serve soda to studio executives and the press. We may have to switch venues.”
Damn it! Jessi threw her head back and stared up at the ceiling. If they had to change venues it would be a nightmare. She put her Tablet back in her bag and headed out of the hotel room, before she was even off the phone with Marissa. The concierge desk put her in a taxi and she was on her way to sort out today’s fiasco. It was another afternoon wasted where she was unable to complete a sketch. At this rate, she would never finish her fall line.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tommy cut the session at the studio short. His lifeless guitar solo was holding up completion of the song and frustration brought production to a halt. Everyone was frazzled and overworked. They had a handful of songs for the new album and they were more than halfway through the tour. Tommy couldn’t wait for it to be over. He needed his life back to normal.
Jessi was surprised to see him back earlier than expected. “Hi, baby. This is a nice surprise.” She hugged him. “Why are you back so soon? I thought you’d be gone a few more hours.”
“I needed a break. We all did.” He noticed that Jessi and Angel made brief eye contact and then quickly looked away, but he didn’t comment on it. “What did you do today?”
Jessi rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Near crisis with tomorrow’s promo party, but I straightened it out.”
Angel was lingering at Tommy’s side. He was uncomfortable and looked like he wanted to say something to Jessi, but she wouldn’t look at him. Tommy needed to do something. The awkward silences between Angel and Jessi were killing him. “Since we have a few extra hours, what do you two want to do?” He hoped to open a dialogue between them, but neither answered his question.
There was too much friction in the room and it went on longer than Tommy could bear. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you two or why you won’t talk about it in front of me, but you need to straighten it out.”
Jessi and Angel finally stared at each other. It was a standoff, and neither made an effort to reconcile. Their frowns and wrinkled brows conveyed dismay and tension, rather than anger and hostility. Since they both refused to speak in front of him, Tommy knew Jessi and Angel needed time to talk privately, in order for them to be friends again. “I’m leaving, and I want you to hash this out and make up, because it’s not healthy. We’re a tripod. We each make up a leg in the relationship. Without the three of us, we all fall.”
Jessi reacted to his departure right away. She grabbed his arm in order to stop him from leaving, but she quickly withdrew her hand. She looked at Angel in an effort to reach out to him. He gave her a single nod of his head.
Tommy left them alone, unsure if it was the right call to push the issue, but the animosity needed to stop and order needed to be restored to their lives.
Tommy hated to burden other people with his problems, but he needed to talk to someone. He took the elevator one floor down to Damien’s room and knocked on the door. While he waited, he prayed that Jessi and Angel worked out their differences. He was never a praying man before, but these last few days had made him reach out for salvation.
“What’s up?” Damien swung the door open so Tommy could enter the room, but Tommy remained positioned in the doorway. He didn’t know where to begin or how to explain the turmoil in his personal life. He leaned his shoulder and head against the door jam. “I got problems.”
“Then why are you standing out in the hall?” Damien yanked him inside and shut the door. “What gives? You fightin’ with Angel or Jessi?”
“No.” If it were only that simple. “They’re fighting with each other.”
“I knew something wasn’t right with Angel. He’s got shit on his mind and it ain’t the band. Why are they mad at each other?”
Tommy wished he knew. He was still trying to put the bits and pieces together. He wiped his hand across his face in an attempt to wash away some of his anxiety. “I don’t know all the details. I’m not sure I have them right either. All I know is that Jessi feels neglected that I’m spending all my time with Angel. I think she resents him and made a comment. You know he’s sensitive and easily offended. I think it spurred an argument between them and they’ve been rivaling ever since.”
“I don’t know a lot about women, and even less about a relationship between two guys. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have a relationship with three people, but I know Angel. He’s got a big heart and it’s easily wounded. He gets upset real easy when it comes to the people he loves and it eats him up. You can see it all over his face. He’s stubborn, but he doesn’t hold a grudge. He wants to talk, but sometimes he needs to deal with his shit first.”
Naturally, Tommy saw the grief behind Angel’s soulful eyes. Even when the two of them were alone, it was obvious that Angel was upset. Jessi looked more upset and stressed out than he’d ever seen her, and the forlorn look and puppy dog eyes tore his heart into a million pieces every time he left for the studio with Angel.
Tommy paced around Damien’s hotel room. It was substantially smaller than the suite he shared with Angel and Jessi. “Where’s Alyssa?” He didn’t want her to walk in on his conversation with Damien, although she probably knew more than he did about why Jessi and Angel were fighting.
“She went down to the gift shop to get some stuff. Neither one of us can get used to this living half on the bus and half in the hotel routine. I’m not complaining, though. This room may not be as fancy as yours, but it’s sweet. Shit, I’d take anything over that shoebox for a bed that I sleep in on the bus.”
“Doesn’t Alyssa get upset that you’re not spending a lot of time with her on this tour?”
“Fuck yeah. She’s pissed that I’m never around, but I’m not leaving her to spend time with another lover. You are.”
Now Tommy understood why Jessi was resentful. Their career as musicians required him and Angel to spend long hours together. Whether they were working in the studio, attending promotional events or performing on stage, he shared it all with Angel. They were side by side in the spotlight. Jessi was living on the outskirts. She wanted to share the circle of light that graced the stage. That’s why she had worked so hard for the band’s success and jumped at the chance to work for Falcon and the band. This tour left her sidelined, and it wasn’t fair. He wished he knew how to fix it. “I’m trying to make time for Jessi, but you know we’re spending all of our time in the studio now. Whenever I make plans with her, I end up breaking them and running off with Angel. It’s not my choice. I wish Jessi could come with us.” He didn’t want to admit it to Damien, but he’d much rather spend time with Jessi than in the studio writing or recording music. That’s why his heart wasn’t in the songs and that’s why he was struggling in the studio. A sharp pain settled in the center of his chest and spread across his rib cage. He hated that Jessi felt left out and pushed aside. The effort to make them both feel equally loved was heart wrenching and exhausting. He slowly turned to look at Damien. “Do you know what it’s like to be in love with two people at the same time?”
“Dude, I only loved one person in my whole life, and she’s the only one who ever loved me. You got two people who love you so much they’d rather share you than give you up. I wish I had your problems.”
“No you don’t.” Everyone thought he had the best of both worlds and in a sense he did, in that he didn’t have to choose between the two people he loved. But stress, worry and guilt about sharing his love equally and making sure neither one of them felt slighted, was draining. Sometimes he didn’t know if it was a challenge he could successfully master. Fame brought an added set of complications, just when they were settling into a comfort zone. They battled one problem after another. It was a constant fight again
st the odds. He started to think destiny didn’t want them to be together. He ran his fingers through his hair and tugged on it. Fuck destiny. It was bullshit. Fate didn’t bring them together, just pulled them apart. They already conquered a mountain of emotional issues. They overcame the initial adjustment of living as a trio. This situation, where Jessi and Angel were at odds with one another, was different and by far the most lethal. The balance was thrown off and it presented the hardest hurdle to leap. Rivalry between Jessi and Angel was the one thing that might bring their relationship crashing down.
Tommy started to doubt his decision to leave Angel and Jessi alone together, with instructions to hash it out. They could be having the ill-fated screaming match right now. Neither one of them was belligerent, he reasoned. They merely needed to vent their frustrations and clear the air. They needed to communicate.
His erratic heart beat did little to pacify his fears. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Damien. I can’t get involved. I can’t say anything to either one of them. If I do, the other is going to think I’m taking sides. It’ll backfire and make the situation worse. I can’t let that happen. If I do, nothing will ever be the same. Our whole relationship is in jeopardy.” Helpless about how to remedy and salvage his life, he continued to pace around the room and pull at his hair. “I can’t do anything. My hands are tied. I got my back against the wall. I’m stuck in the middle, between a rock and a hard place. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. We worked too hard on our relationship. Everything was fine until we started this fucking tour!”
Damien put a brotherly hand on Tommy’s shoulder and stopped him from pacing. “Jessi and Angel need to mend fences. You need to make things right with your wife.”
Tommy wished there was a clear cut answer to a clear cut question. He had no idea how they were supposed to survive as a threesome if they didn’t let go of the hostility.
The only thing he knew for sure was that if Jessi and Angel didn’t sort through their problems and make amends soon, everything would be over. His marriage, his relationship with Angel, and the band were all in danger. He couldn’t stand side by side and perform next to Angel if they weren’t together anymore. Conflict and resentment would be the demise of everything he loved.
How did everything that started out so right, go so wrong, so fast? His life was falling apart and there wasn’t much he could do about it. He started to sweat and strands of his hair stuck to his cheek and neck. He pulled his hair to the side and twisted it in his hand. He had no idea how to fix the situation, but he wasn’t about to stand by and watch his life be destroyed without a fight.
He raced out the door and down the hall toward the elevator.
“What are you gonna do?” Damien called after him.
“I’m going to settle this shit once and for all!”
Chapter Thirty
As soon as Tommy left them alone, Jessi shifted her gaze to Angel in a deadpan stare. There was a lot that needed to be said. Angel shared everything with Tommy – the stage, the limelight, the music, their dreams and their sexuality, to name a few. This tour divided them and drove a wedge between them. It made her resent Angel for having so much more to offer Tommy than she did.
Angel offered Tommy everything she wanted him to have and everything he deserved. She loved Angel for it, and she hated him for it. She wished she was the one to instill self-pride in Tommy because of his sexuality. She spent most of their relationship trying to make Tommy realize that his sexual preferences weren’t something to be ashamed of, but she was unable to succeed. Along came Angel with his self-assured confidence and carefree attitude, and Tommy’s defenses were powerless to stand guard. The fences he spent his life hiding behind crumbled and fell to the ground like a pile of matchsticks.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Angel asked.
Jessi didn’t hesitate or hold back in answering. “Because I want to be where you are. You’re glued to Tommy’s side. He’s with you 24 hours a day, in the hotel, on the bus, in the studio, on stage, in bed. I don’t spend any time with him.”
Angel cringed a little more with each word she flung at him. “Are you jealous of me?”
“Yes, I am, Angel. For the first time in our relationship, I feel like Tommy would rather be with you than with me. Maybe it’s because you’re a man and I’m a woman.”
Tommy burst through the door just as she was finishing the last sentence. His eyes were a deep blue and his pupils were dilated. “Do you really think I’d rather be with Angel than with you? Do you think I chose to be in the studio all day and night on my days off? Do you think I like being too tired to sleep with my wife?”
He shot off the rapid-fire questions in succession and didn’t give her a chance to answer any of them.
“Well, you’re wrong. I’d rather be here with the both of you or wandering around the city to one of those museums you two always want to go to. Don’t you think that I feel left out too? I’m stuck in a studio while you’re sightseeing with Alyssa. And do you think I’d rather sleep with Angel than with you? Why? Because he’s a man?”
She met his stare. This was no time to back down. It was all on the table. “Yes. Sometimes I think you do.”
Tommy’s face turned crimson. “I’m gonna show you how wrong you are!”
It was the first time she ever saw him angry at her – really angry. He unbuckled his belt and pulled it free from the loops of his jeans in one quick sweep, like a long snake. It whipped through the air and hit the floor with a loud snap. For a minute she thought he was going to hit her with it, but she didn’t flinch. She stood with her shoulders tall and her chin up.
Out of the corner of Jessi’s peripheral vision, she saw Angel jump. His eyes ping-ponged between her and Tommy. If they opened any wider, they might pop from their sockets.
Tommy took two giant steps toward her and picked her up by the waist. There was no straining or hesitation. His hands lifted her clear off the floor and he slung her over his shoulder. He held her legs against his chest and marched into the bedroom.
It was incredibly erotic in a Tarzan-Jane kind of way.
Tommy threw her down on the bed and she bounced off the mattress. He tugged at the button and zipper on her jeans and yanked them down, clean off her legs, taking her thong with it. He pulled at her top and a stitch popped.
“Wait!” She cried out to stop him from tearing it. “I’ll take it off.”
He didn’t bother to respond or slow down. He grabbed the neckline of her top with both hands, tore it down the middle and threw it to the floor, along with her bra.
Tommy pushed his jeans down to his knees, without bothering to take them all the way off. He was hard, and big, and her eyes went straight to his cock. She reached out to touch it, but he pushed her hand away and pushed her down on the bed. The weight of his body on top of her prevented her from moving and trapped her arms on her chest between them. His mouth covered hers and his tongue forced its way inside. She didn’t expect the aggression or the force. She couldn’t move, but it was a surprising rush of explosive passion.
His hand went between her legs, allowing her freedom to breathe. He stuck one finger deep inside her, which made her gasp. Then he inserted himself with a hard push of his hips. She lurched off the bed from the sudden penetration. The burst of pressure made her insides feel like they were going to rip open, but the pain was mixed with excitement and pleasure. It was a euphoric surprise. Her body relaxed enough to accommodate him, sending a wave of stimulation up her belly and down to her knees. She wrapped her legs around his back to prevent escape. She wanted all of him inside her. She clutched onto his shoulder with one hand and put her fingers through the back of his hair with the other. Their lips pressed together in a forceful kiss. His tongue was deep in her mouth, as deep as his cock was inside her. Her breath came in short gasps and she could barely breathe. She needed to break the kiss before she fainted from lack of oxygen.
Tommy always had a gentle touch when they
made love. The change in his demeanor was intoxicating. He unleashed a thirst inside of her for rough play. Now she understood why Tommy enjoyed the games he played with Angel.
He grunted as he pounded his hips into her and it made her jolt off the bed. His balls rammed into her with each heavy thrust of his hips. He was bucking wildly and it caused his hair to fan out in a wild spray around his face.
She hung onto Tommy’s neck with both hands. She was helpless and let herself feel the vibrations that reverberated throughout her body. She lost focus as the intense sensations were too overwhelming for her body and mind to process. They consumed her and took control. They guided her through the most incredible feelings of ecstasy any human being could experience.
His rhythm slowed and he locked his eyes on her. She saw the tremendous amount of love that shined through his half-closed eyes. They were full of lust, want and devotion. She was so overcome with reassurance in their relationship that her vision blurred and a single tear overflowed out the corner of her eye and into her hairline.
Tommy’s chest was moving rapidly, while he fought for breath. He picked up his pace and maintained eye contact with her, and she watched him climax.
Today, he didn’t make love to her. He fucked her, ferociously, unencumbered, with no holds barred intensity. It was hot, angry sex filled with overwhelming passion, desire and emotion.
He fell on top of her and pressed his face into her neck. Their slick, sweat-soaked bodies slid against one another as they both tried to catch their breath. She could hear her heart pounding in her ears and thought it was going to explode.
Tommy wiped his hair out of his eyes and gave her a strong, powerful kiss. “Did you ever see me fuck Angel like that? Don’t ever think that I’d rather sleep with him than with you. That’s ridiculous! For the record, I haven’t slept with him without you in the same bed since we got back from Asia. I want your body just as much as I want his. Your beautiful, feminine body.”
Between a Rock and a Hard Place Page 20
