by Anna Paige
"Bullshit." I jutted my chin out defiantly.
"You held her like she was your most prized possession. Aside from my junk, I can't think of anything I'd protect as fiercely as you protected her. And you laughed with her. I heard you." He pointed to the bedroom again. "Not that polite, placating chuckle you like to use during interviews either. You were fucking howling back there, and I legitimately can't remember the last time I heard that sound. She's not just the next conquest for you, brother, even if you can't admit it yet, and that spells heartbreak for that poor girl."
"And why is that, brother?" I drawled the word like it tasted of vinegar.
"Once won't be enough. You'll get a taste and be addicted; I know you will. You'll push it too far because that's what you do. And her? She'll lose her job, Kade. And her reputation. She won't be able to get another PR gig if everyone who hears her name associates it with screwing the clients."
"Are you planning to skywrite it or something? It only becomes known if she wants it to, and her whole purpose here is to keep situations exactly like this one from ever seeing the light of day." I held his eye and took a long, much-needed sip of coffee. "Relax a little, okay? Of all the women on the planet, she's the safest. The whole thing couldn't be more perfect."
He grabbed his mug and stood, leveling his disappointed stare at me. "I'll go ahead and file that under 'famous last words', bro." He tossed the majority of his coffee in the sink and headed off to steal the shower, leaving me alone with my discorded thoughts.
•••
Aubrey
My head felt like it was packed with cotton, as did my mouth. I groaned a little at the bright morning light invading the bedroom and pulled the covers over my head. The bus was no longer moving, which should have made it easier to fall back to sleep. No such luck. Instead, I burrowed deeper beneath the blankets and wondered if it would be crossing some sort of line to ask one of the guys to bring me coffee and aspirin so I didn't have to get out of bed. Lots of coffee and aspirin.
My phone chirped on the nightstand—a voicemail notification—and it forced me to peek out and check the time. Shit. It was after nine. Then again, it was after three when we all went to bed, and much later than that before sleep finally found me. The bus was silent, but since we were stopped, the guys could have already stepped out for breakfast. Or maybe they were all sleeping it off like I was. Probably the latter. Besides, I wouldn't think Kade would go to breakfast without waking me to join them.
Would he?
He'd gone back to his usual gruff self after the guys arrived last night, maybe even a bit worse than normal, but it was all for show, right? That extra bit of bite to his tone was to keep them from picking up on our attraction, wasn't it? Or had I done something to upset him? I held a hand to my throbbing temple. It was possible. Actually, it was probable. I tended to piss him off without much effort.
Oh well, all the better. He seemed to get off on our animosity, same as me, so a little extra snippiness here and there was like foreplay. Wasn't it?
My phone chirped again, and I decided it was time to come out of my cocoon and face the day, hangover and all.
I snapped it up and opened the voicemail, recognizing the number as my boss's. Not Trish, thank goodness, it was too early for her hissy fits. No, this was from her supervisor, my mentor, whom I adored.
"Hey, Aubrey. Miles here. Just wanted to touch base with you this morning and see how things are progressing with the band. I'm hoping you have some great counter-stories planned to balance the unfortunate headlines that are still trending." He took a deep breath, softening his tone. "I know you'll do great with this, kiddo. I'm not actually looking for a status report. You're a complete professional, and I know you'll do exactly what's best for everyone involved. I have total faith in you. All I ask is that you ace this as quickly as possible and get back here. It never occurred to me that giving you the assignment would mean I was stuck here with Trish. Clearly, I didn't think it through, or I never would have signed up for that kind of torment." There was humor and horror in his voice, which made me laugh. "Anyway, I just wanted to touch base. Give me a shout when you can."
I truly felt sorry for him. Maybe I shouldn't have, since when I was there I was her primary target, but knowing how relentless she could be; yeah, I felt bad for the guy. She didn't treat him the same way she treated me, of course, she wasn't stupid. Her methods of torment varied depending on who she was targeting at any given moment. Sort of a bloodthirsty chameleon. She liked to make my life difficult, because she held a higher position. Miles was her superior, so she used the 'I'll aggravate him until he has a coronary' tactic, bitching and moaning about every little thing until he was ready to go into early retirement.
It still baffled me that she'd gotten as far as she had in the company, but I supposed the fast track was reserved for those unafraid of creating a little roadkill. That wasn't me, though. Not by a long shot. My conscience wouldn't let me be that kind of person.
The same conscience that was now warring with me about my attraction to Kade. Miles believed in me, had looked out for me when others doubted my abilities, and provided an understanding ear when things had been at their hardest. After all he'd done, how could I take his faith in me and crap all over it?
I sat for a while, staring at the darkened screen of my phone and replaying his message in my mind. I knew what needed to happen… nothing. Not between me and Kade. Not when it would ruin us both. I'd lose my job and reputation, which was bad, but it was just me I'd be hurting. Well, and Miles, who would be colossally disappointed in me. I would like to think we’d somehow get past that since we were so close, but it wasn’t something I wanted to find out for certain.
Kade, though, would be hurting the entire band. If the label found out that instead of working with me to salvage their reputation, he decided to screw me instead, they would likely decide to drop the band entirely and sue them for breach of contract rather than deal with constant scandal. The industry had been going through a morality meltdown and the labels—all of them, not just TotC’s—were fed up with the drama and backlash. Bottom line: If we fooled around and got outed, they'd all suffer; not just the two of us.
Why is it that what we want and what’s best for us never seems to be the same thing? Why do we routinely crave the very things that will ruin us? How the hell am I supposed to walk away from Kade when everything inside me wants to run into his arms?
I didn't know how I was going to manage it, but I knew what had to be done.
I had to stop wanting Kade Edenfield.
For all our sakes.
•••
I stepped out of the bedroom a while later, geared up for a long, soul-cleansing run, and was surprised to hear soft snoring coming from the bunks. The guys are all still asleep? I crept down the short hall and into the kitchen. Nope, not all of them. Kade sat at the kitchen table, his back facing me as he studied something on his phone. Kane sat on the edge of the couch he generally slept on, sort of staring off into the distance. There was tension in the air. An early morning spat perhaps? They tended to bicker, but I supposed most siblings did. Not that I would know, but it seemed common from what I understood of family dynamics.
"Morning." Kade's voice startled Kane and me out of our respective stupors, but he didn't turn.
Kane looked my way and nodded, looking troubled. "Hey, girl. Sleep okay?"
"Yeah." I lied. "You guys?"
"Like a rock, as always." Kane smiled, standing and giving me a knowing look. "Head feel like Ethan's in there kicking his bass drum?"
I nodded, wincing. "Little bit."
He reached out and lightly touched my shoulder, steering me toward the table to join Kade. "You sit, I'll whip up a batch of my famous hangover cure. Might as well make it a big batch, since I'm sure you're not the only one who's gonna need it."
"Thanks, Kane. That'd be great." I smiled and covered his hand with mine, registering a dull ache in my arm a little under where his han
d had fallen. He must have seen it in my expression because his face darkened. "I'll grab you some coffee, an ice pack, and some ibuprofen for that arm while you wait." He let go and stepped toward the kitchen cabinets to gather what he needed.
Kade turned suddenly, his assessing eyes roaming over me. He couldn't see the bruises, though. Neither of them could. My upper arms were covered by the light jacket I'd thrown over my running clothes. Kade kept it so cold, I'd had to put it on over my tank and running shorts or my teeth would have been chattering.
"Sit down and let my brother do his thing." Kade eyed me and gestured to the seat across from him with an open hand.
I slid into the seat and offered a weak smile as Kane set a mug of coffee in front of me and went back to his task in the kitchen. "He seems determined to take care of me this morning; not that I'm complaining, it's just I thought you were the caretaker of the group."
He shrugged, not making eye contact. "I don't use hangover cures. If I'm hung over, I suffer through. No one to blame but myself." His fingers moved over his phone as he absently spoke to me, making me feel a twinge of hurt.
"Why suffer when you don't have to?" I asked.
"Life is suffering," he answered bluntly.
Kane shook his head, emptying various ingredients into a shaker cup. "You're such a dick."
He didn't respond, just shrugged and went back to his phone. Even when we were arguing, feeding off of each other's animosity, he would make eye contact; glaring and challenging me with his dark stare. This wasn't the same thing. He wasn't trying to turn me on with his grittiness; he was trying to tune me out, push me away.
I let that sink in for a moment before squaring my shoulders and deciding I didn't care.
Despite his sour attitude, I welcomed the rejection. If he was going back to the hate side of our love/hate relationship, it would make it easier on everyone. It didn't matter why he was being this way, though I couldn't help but wonder what happened between last night and this morning.
For me, it had been a voicemail that snapped me back to reality.
What had it been for him?
I would probably never know, since I had no intention of asking. There was no way I would give him the chance to reject me further when I'd intended to do the same to him, though I'd planned to at least talk to him about it, instead of being a total ass and pushing him away without explanation.
It was for the best. I had to remember that. I'd be the consummate professional Miles believed me to be. I'd turn their image around quickly and efficiently, then I'd get my ass out of there before I did something that ruined us all.
•••
Kane's hangover cure tasted the way hot garbage smelled. It was thick, chunky, and absolutely atrocious; it also worked within minutes. With a clear head and proper caffeine levels on board, I set out for my run, Kane having promised to make the guys wait for my return before grabbing breakfast, despite my assurances that they were fine to go without me.
Kade had looked annoyed by his brother's insistence that I join them, which made me want to do just that. No reason I couldn't still piss him off when the opportunity arose, right? And he deserved it for being such an ass this morning.
I was soaked in sweat and making my way back to the bus when my phone—which was strapped to my arm—rang through my earbuds. I stopped and snatched it out of its sleeve, groaning at Trish's number on the screen. On a Sunday morning. This couldn't possibly be a good thing.
"Hello?" I panted, leaning over and bracing myself against a nearby tree.
"Why are you so out of breath? Did I catch you at an inopportune time?" She tsked softly. "Which one? The drummer? He's really hot. Or maybe the bass player? They're always good for a vigorous time, like they have something to prove because they're not the lead guitarists. Makes for a lot of fun."
I frowned so hard my eyebrows practically touched in the middle of my forehead. "What?"
"Hey, no judging. I'd do the same in your place. It's hard to resist a musician. They're everyone's favorite kind of candy."
"I must be having a stroke." I muttered to no one in particular. "Did you just say…"
"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Aubrey. I was just poking fun. Mostly."
Since when was Trish ever playful? "I'm in the middle of a run. The bus has stopped for a few hours so the driver can rest and we can fuel up."
"Running? In this heat?" She spat the words like she thought I was insane. "My scenario burns just as many calories and can be done inside, though outside can be fun too, sometimes." She giggled.
"Did you have a stroke?" I blurted, unable to fathom a universe where Trish was laughing and joking with anyone, much less me.
There was a long sigh, finally something I was used to from her. "No, I'm just having a good day and thought I'd spread it around."
Oh, she spreads it around all right. Misery, she spreads misery. And one other thing but I wouldn't stoop to slut shaming, even for her. "Did you call for something specific or just to bring a little sunshine into my life?" Sarcasm dripped from every word. I was tiring of her games.
"Fine, be snippy. I was just calling in to see if you got the email about the radio spot."
"Of course, they rescheduled it from Wednesday to this coming Friday."
"It's a countdown show, which means a Saturday airing. So be sure they make it on time to tape their interviews."
I rolled my eyes. Why was she sticking her nose into my assignment? Details like this should be trivial to her. "They'll be there to tape bright and early Friday morning." They had to be, since their mysterious plans had them leaving later that day. Had us leaving, technically.
"And you'll warn them not to answer questions about the singer's newfound fame as an amateur porn star?"
"Porn is a bit of a stretch, don't you think? You couldn't see his…"
"Dick?" She supplied mockingly.
"The girls were laid across his chest, taking pictures of their upper torsos. Their breasts were the only inappropriately exposed body parts. So, like I said, porn is a bit of a stretch. And yes, I will caution them all against referencing the incident. I know how to do my job, Trish."
"Your snarky attitude is ruining my blissful morning; I think I'm done talking to you now."
"Fine." I spat, ready to end the call.
"One last thing…" she called just as my thumb hovered over the end button.
"What?" I didn't hide my annoyance.
"My earlier scenario—you know, banging a member of the band—would also help alleviate some of the stress that's making you such an uptight bitch. You should think about that."
She hung up before I could reply, which was a good thing because I was on the verge of blurting that thinking about it was all I'd been doing for days.
And I was reasonably sure it would be all I thought about for a long time to come.
•••
Kade
She showed up at the restaurant looking fucking amazing. Freshly showered, hair still hanging damp down her back, with just the barest traces of makeup highlighting her already stunning features. She wore slim-fitting jeans, dainty-looking flats, and a three-quarter sleeve top, with the sleeves pushed to her elbow. I knew what she was doing, wearing that shirt. She was hiding the bruises the only way she knew how.
Oh, she made some piss-poor excuse, claiming the hot water had run out on the bus and she had a chill, but we all knew the deal. It was kind of endearing that she would even try to hide the marks for our benefit. She knew it made us angry to see them; all of us.
Especially me.
Her eyes found me often as we all ate, I could feel the heat of her attention flitting across my face and turned several times to catch her eye, unable to stop myself. The way she looked at me had changed, probably in part because my attitude toward her had shifted, but I sensed there was something else. Something or someone had gotten to her, the way Kane had gotten to me. Made her take a step back and reconsider.
I was doing the
same, but that didn't mean I didn't still want her. I probably wanted her more now than before, though some of that newfound desire was likely the pull of forbidden fruit.
No, she was forbidden, but that wasn't the true source of the attraction. I didn't know what had drawn me to her, but I wanted to find out.
It was then that I realized how little I knew about her. She was beautiful, smart, a phenomenal kisser, and she fit into my arms like we were a molded and matched set. That was all I really knew. I wanted to know more. No, I needed to know more.
Despite what my brother said, I didn't think this thing between us had to end badly. Or maybe I was lying to myself because I wanted her so much. Either way, the likelihood of me walking away dwindled by the minute, and I didn't know how long I would be able to fight off my need to touch her.
Her hair fell in her eyes as she laughed at one of Lennox's jokes, and I found myself staring as she reached up and absently tucked it behind her ear. The slow motion of her fingers as they ran the length of the strands, combing them back behind her shoulder…
"You okay?" Jared asked, raising a brow in my direction.
I snapped my attention back to my plate, moving the half-eaten food around with my fork. "Yep. Why?"
He indicated the mess I was making of my food. "Because you always clear your plate. Thought maybe you weren't feeling well."
"My stomach is a little off this morning, that's all." Try tied up in fucking knots.
He gave me a sympathetic look. "Hangovers are a bitch. You should have drank some of Kane's cure. It works if you can manage to get it down."
I just nodded and let him go on thinking that was it, thankful when he turned his attention to the chatter at the other end of the table. When everyone had finished, we headed back to the buses as a group. Aubrey hung back talking to Ethan and Jared while Kane and I led the pack, and Lenn trudged along holding his stomach and bitching about how full he was.
My brother bumped my shoulder and tipped his head in Aubrey's direction. "I said to be smart about all this, not be an even bigger ass to her." He cast a glance around to see if anyone was paying attention.
