Darren stayed in the hall as I walked into Grandma’s room. She was sitting up in bed, but one side of her face was slack, and her eyes were darting around the room and not focusing on anything. I wanted to go over and take her hand, but I was scared. She was making this little moaning noise, and it seemed like she was in pain. Sitting down next to the bed, I tried to talk to her, but she didn’t even look at me. I kept repeating she was going to be fine, and started bringing up things we could do after she got out of the hospital. I just wanted her to believe she was going to get out of the hospital—even if I didn’t believe it myself.
“When you get home we could make those sugar cookies—remember when I tried to make the dough pink, and it came out all gross?” Her eyes darted around the room, and she didn’t seem to absorb anything I was saying. I put my hand in hers and asked her to squeeze, and she gripped my hand so tightly I almost couldn’t get it out of her grasp. I went into the hall to tell them how she responded, but the nurse said it was just a reflex and not to look too deeply into it. Mom suggested Darren and I go and get something to eat. I didn’t want to leave, but she insisted and gave us some money.
“Emme, please. You need to have dinner, and I want some time alone with Grandma.”
Darren asked where I wanted to eat, and I said I didn’t care. He pulled into a parking lot and I followed him in. It wasn’t until I sat down that I realized Brendon and I had eaten here before. Last time I was there, the waitress had basically hit on Brendon right in front of me. Darren and I had the same waitress, but I was sure she didn’t remember me and just as positive she would have remembered Brendon. I ordered a salad even though I knew I probably wouldn’t eat much of it. Darren tried to reassure me Grandma was going to be fine.
“There’s so much doctors can do these days,” he said. I nodded, but I knew she was in trouble. I could tell my grandma knew it, too.
After we ate, he dropped me off at home because he had to go to work. He offered to call in sick, but I didn’t want him to miss work. However, I also didn’t want to be in the house all by myself. I tried reading to distract myself, but I couldn’t concentrate, so I put the TV on to break the silence. Why was there never anything good on? I lit every green candle in the house, and I even tried calling some friends, but no one was home. Darren called me on his break to make sure I was okay.
“You know when I get upset sometimes it helps to write about it,” he said.
“I just want to go to sleep so I’m not conscious, you know?”
“Yeah. Listen, do you want me to stop by on my way home from work?” he asked.
“No, I think I’m going to just go lie down for a while, but thanks.”
I considered calling Brendon to tell him I hadn’t meant I wanted a break from him, but I was afraid he’d say he had plans or something, and he wouldn’t be able talk. It would hurt even more if he said it after I told him about my grandmother.
Instead I called Margaux and told her the whole story.
“Oh man, I’d go nuts with girls constantly flirting right in front of me,” she said. “But honestly, that’s just part of what it’s like to be dating the ‘It Guy.’”
“What do you mean?”
“You know how magazines call models and those socialites the ‘It Girl’ all the time? Well, he’s like the male version. He’s the guy every girl wants to date and every guy wants to be. It’s a lot to handle.”
“You’re telling me. So what do I do now?”
“I’d wait a bit and let him cool down. Maybe he’ll call you. Personally, the way things were left, I wouldn’t want to call him first and look desperate. I’m sure it’ll work out.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
I decided to go to bed and get away from everything. I had never gone to sleep so early on a Friday night before.
Chapter 13
The next morning, my mom said the nurses thought Grandma seemed more alert. I wanted to go see her, but Mom said they were going to be running tests on her all day and we’d just be in the way. Turning my cell phone on, I realized Brendon tried calling me last night. I was about to call him back when Darren called and said he wanted to take me to the zoo. Well, I hadn’t been to the zoo in years, and I had never gone in the fall. It sounded like a good way to distract myself until I could go see Grandma. While I waited for Darren to pick me up, I tried calling Brendon back, but my call went straight to voice mail. Was he busy or had he sent all my calls to voice mail to avoid me?
Darren picked me up to go to the zoo, and we rode the train and then walked around.
“Just so you know, we can visit all the areas except the reptile house and the elephant house,” I said.
“I understand the snake house, but what do you have against elephants?” he asked.
“When I was little, I heard these kids on the playground talking about the Elephant Man, and I thought you could get it from elephants. It makes no sense, but I’ve been scared of them ever since. You should see me at the circus,” I said.
“Well, it’s certainly…”
“Weird?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“I was going to say interesting. Maybe seeing the elephants up close would help you overcome your fear,” he said.
“We’re talking about something engrained in my subconscious. If I went and saw the elephants, you might as well call every dermatologist in the area because I would come down with the symptoms. I can catch a broken leg,” I said.
“Just out of curiosity, what are the symptoms of ele—”
“Let’s change the subject. Even talking about it freaks me out,” I said. “Anyway, I don’t know the symptoms, and no, I’ve never seen the movie.”
“It’s a good movie,” he said.
“I don’t care if they remake it and offer me a role—I’m still not going to see it.”
“Okay, I got it. Let’s get a snow cone,” he said, pulling me over to the concession stand.
The bottom of his cone started leaking. I tried to help him soak up the juice with my napkins, but pretty soon we both had cherry syrup all over our hands.
“You can’t take me anywhere,” he said, removing little bits of napkin stuck to his arm.
“I’ve got to wash my hands ’cause I absolutely hate it when my hands get sticky. It’s like chalk squeaking on a blackboard for me,” I said.
“So no elephants, no elephant movies, and nothing sticky,” he said.
“Unless you have an antibacterial wipe,” I said as it started to rain. “I can’t believe this—I wouldn’t have worn a white, long-sleeved T-shirt if I knew it was going to rain,” I said. “I mean what does ‘clear skies’ mean? I thought it meant it wouldn’t rain. Why is Michigan weather so screwy? I was wearing short sleeves yesterday, and today I’m freezing my butt off in the rain.”
Darren shrugged. “No big deal.” I glanced at his open flannel shirt and the rock band T-shirt he had on underneath. It was so different from Brendon’s V-neck sweaters and khakis, but it fit Darren’s personality. There was something hot about a literary guy who worked out. He caught me staring at him and smirked.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing, just making sure you didn’t have any more snow cone syrup on your face.”
“Ah, thought maybe you were admiring my beauty,” he said, laughing.
My face got warm. “Nope, just looking out for you.”
The rain got heavier, so we decided to leave. I wondered if he was going to suggest going to get food or something, but when we got to the parking lot, he noticed he had a bunch of texts.
“Oh man, they’re all from my boss, asking me to come in tonight,” he said. “Hope he’s not mad I didn’t pick up. It’s just when I’m with someone, I’m not about to keep checking my phone—it’s a pet peeve of mine.”
I thought of how many times Brendon checked his phone when we were out.
“I was going to see if you wanted to get food, but I feel like I better drop you off and go into work. Cool?”
“Sure.”
He drove to my house, and I was kind of grateful he had someplace to be so there wasn’t some awkward good-bye moment with him walking me to the door or anything.
“I’ll text you later,” he said. “And I promise—no elephant emojis.”
“Thanks for being so understanding.”
“Anytime. Now go wash your hands in case someone at the zoo did touch an elephant right before you touched the same door handle.”
“Jerk. See ya later.”
I went to the hospital with my mom the next day. Grandma slept the entire time we were there, and the doctor didn’t have the test results back yet. My cousin Carla had sent flowers, which should have made the room more cheerful, but I was so depressed. Not wanting to give up, I placed crystals all over the room along with some prayer cards, and I had downloaded a special healing meditation, which was supposed to calm you. I was hoping something would work for her, but I had a feeling like it didn’t matter what I did because nothing was going to make a difference. Over and over, I kept reminding myself how important a positive attitude was, but I just couldn’t shake the horrible feeling my grandma was never going to leave the hospital.
Meanwhile, my mom kept waiting for Grandpa to ask to come visit Grandma, but he never mentioned it. Three days went by, and he didn’t even ask how she was doing. Finally, I brought it up.
“Aren’t you worried about Grandma?” I asked him.
“Why? What’s wrong with mom?” he asked, sitting up straight.
“She’s been in the hospital. She had another stroke,” I said.
“She did? Nobody told me. When did this happen?”
“Grandpa, you were with her when it happened,” I said. “Don’t you remember?”
“No one told me,” he said, getting angry.
However, ten minutes later he was concerned with making me an ice cream cone, and he didn’t bring up Grandma again. I checked my e-mail while he dished out the ice cream. There was a message from Kylie, but I didn’t feel like writing her back.
Chapter 14
Rory was absent the next day, so I ate lunch with Darren. He had a greasy fish sandwich, and it smelled so gross it made my grilled cheese sandwich taste fishy. I felt someone watching me and saw Brendon staring at me from across the room. He was sitting with a couple of his friends, and I wondered why he was there, since he had a different lunch period. I also wondered why Lauren was practically sitting on him. She was so obvious. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to her, but she was helping herself to his French fries, when she had perfectly good fries on her tray. He gave me one of his lopsided smiles, which was the only time he ever seemed unsure of himself. Of course, Brendon looking insecure only made him look hotter. I decided to write him a note in fifth period. With Grandma’s health so bad, I was starting to see you shouldn’t hold grudges or hold back about how you feel. Besides, lately I felt so alone. I couldn’t talk to Mom about everything because she was going nuts with Grandma in the hospital and Grandpa not knowing where he was half the time. I needed Brendon now.
Hey,
I’m sorry about getting mad about the reading. I know you couldn’t help how your friend got sick. And I’m sorry about the whole thing at the mall. I miss you.
Love,
Emme
It was just three sentences, yet I had poured my heart into them. I felt so vulnerable. I asked Sam to give it to him, and Brendon was waiting at my locker before sixth period.
“Hey. I’m so glad you gave me the note,” he said. He brushed my hair back and slid his arm around me. “Wait for me after seventh period, and we can hang out, okay? I’m going to lie and say I’m sick so I don’t have to go to the homecoming committee meeting.”
“You’re on the committee? I thought there were mostly girls on it.”
He laughed. “Anything for the transcripts. The college I want to get into only takes the top students, and you have to be well-rounded. My dad only reminds me daily.”
“So aren’t you going to ask me to homecoming?” I asked, standing up on my toes to kiss him.
He pulled back. “Crap. I already said I’d go with Lauren.”
“What? When?”
“She just asked me on Sunday, and you and I were broken up, and the co-chair has to go to the dance—”
“We were not broken up!” I said.
“You said you needed a break!”
“Did it even occur to you to try and work things out with me? Or did you run straight to Lauren the second I got out of the car?”
“You mean the way you run to Darren every time you get mad at me?”
“Don’t make this about—”
“It’s perfectly okay for you to hang out with him, but I can’t have female friends—”
I started to say something, but he cut me off. “I know your ex-boyfriend got back with his old girlfriend, but not every guy is like that. Why does everything have to be so complicated with you?”
“So not the point!” I said. “The point is you said you’d go to a dance, like, five minutes after—”
“Could you please lower your voice?”
I couldn’t believe he was more concerned about me making a scene than the fact he had basically crapped all over our relationship. And I was too shocked about the dance to even start crying. Moving past him, I ran into the girls’ bathroom, went into the big stall in the back, and stared at “Randi’s a loser” until the bell rang. I couldn’t believe he had said he’d go to a dance with another girl without seeing if we were going to work things out. As I walked to class, I told myself I shouldn’t care about what he did since he obviously didn’t care about me, but it hurt to think I could be replaced so fast.
After my class, I decided to walk past Brendon’s classroom. I don’t know if I was hoping to find him devastated and crying, but what I saw was Lauren waiting for him. He didn’t look upset at all as they walked off together. I followed them, and he stopped at the vending machines to get a soda. He took a drink, and she reached up and took the bottle from him, her raspberry-colored nails clutching it. I watched her drink out of his bottle, and then I walked away. I was angry, hurt, and trying hard not to care. Maybe some part of me had wanted Brendon to think there was something more between Darren and me, but now I was afraid he thought I had moved on and it was okay for him to move on, too. Then I wondered if I wanted him back because he had moved on. I had forgotten how thoughtful he could be and how he shared things with me he could never tell anyone else…and his big brown eyes and the way he’d focus them on me.
I went to class and tried to concentrate as Mr. Horowitz told us he had decided we should start writing journals. “We’ll write about different things, like a book you wouldn’t normally pick up, or a public spot and write about the people walking by,” he said. “And we’re going to go on a field trip to the art museum to write about the paintings next week, so get these permission slips signed—and no forgeries. Tom, I’m looking in your direction. Real signatures, people.”
“What’s wrong?” Darren asked, leaning over.
“Nothing,” I said.
“You sure?” he asked. “Well, I’m here for you, if you want to talk about anything.”
Margaux and Kylie came over after school when they heard about Lauren going to the dance with Brendon.
“She, like, pounced on him in a weak moment. She was waiting for an opportunity, and then she just went for it,” Margaux said.
“It sucks he said he’d go,” Kylie said. “But it’s not like he said he was going as her boyfriend. I mean, you said he seemed happy when you gave him the note—”
“Hello! He agreed to go to a dance with another girl,” Margaux said. “He’s obviously not into Emme enough to turn Lauren down. I’m sorry, Em, but seriously, what’s he gotta do? Wear a sandwich board saying, ‘Emme, I’ve moved on. See ya?’” Margaux grabbed a rice cake. “What the crap? This package says they use natural fertilizer on the rice? Does it mean animals are, lik
e, pooing on the rice cakes?”
Kylie and I put our rice cakes down. “See, this is why I don’t eat organic,” Margaux said, getting up. “Don’t you have any junk food around here? I know your mom eats Cheeze Puffies; don’t even lie. Ooh, score. Corn chips.”
Kylie said she saw the same thing happen on Sunset Falls, and the couple on the show realized it was all a big misunderstanding, and they got back together.
“Of course, Angelique had amnesia at the time, so that was a big factor, but whatever,” she said. “Anyway, I just don’t get why Brendon would think it would be okay to go to the dance with another girl.”
Margaux rolled her eyes. “Did he even wait until you were out of the car to ask her? Besides, he’d lose it if you were going with someone else.”
“Lauren asked him—”
“That’s what he wants you to think,” she said, as Kylie smacked her arm.
“But it’s not just anyone he’s going with,” I said. “It’s his ex. His perfect, annoying, stupid ex.”
“Lauren’s an honor student, she’s not stupid—oh, you were being sarcastic…yeah, sorry,” Margaux said. “Anyway, the only way to deal with this is to let Brendon see how it feels. Turn the tables so he can see what it’s like to be completely humiliated—”
She stopped when I glared at her. “Thanks. Makes me feel so much better,” I said.
“If there was any hope for you guys to have a relationship, then Brendon would have to make a clean break from Lauren for it to work—if you even had a relationship left. I mean, would you even want him back if he’s just going to keep running back to her? And now Lauren knows if you’re out of the picture, then she can have him.”
“True,” I said, and Kylie nodded.
“If you guys get back together, then you’ve got to let him know you won’t put up with it,” she said. “And you need to make him see he’s not the only guy in the world interested in you. Trust me.”
Dating the It Guy Page 11
