He rubs his temples wishing he could wake up from this nightmare already.
“I know it's a lot to take in. I didn't know about any of this until the year I met you. That Fall I met Elijah for the first time. You did as well, but you won't remember it. These people took all of our memories from that year and erased them out of our minds. You see, I found out the truth one day when I went to visit my grandmother in the nursing home. She let it slip out that I was left as a baby on my father’s porch. Later, I discovered that my real mother was an angel.”
Sam listens with quite reserve while I relive every detail of how I slowly learned the truth about my destiny, about Elijah being my Keeper. I go on to tell him how I knew he'd cure cancer all along. I didn't know I'd be the cure, but now it all makes sense, why I had to stay with him so he'd find the cure.
“You see our lives are impossibly intertwined, and the three of us, you, me, and Elijah, couldn't have done any of this on our own. It had to be this way. Our lives had to get smashed together and pulled apart like a piece of dough because Heis creating a masterpiece. We just can't see the finished work, but it has a shape now. The twins will bring it all together, but we still need you Sam. I never meant to hurt you. My love for you was real.”
“Was,” he repeats the word back to me, cutting me with the sharp edge of his words. I slump a little in my seat.
“You can walk away from this. You have your free will. Mine is slipping away by the minute, and I don't have a choice in the matter. I wouldn't blame you. I never understood how you always seemed to forgive me. They're going to replace your stolen memories. I never want there to be any more lies between us.”
He rises to his feet.“No, you just want the world to believe that we’re a strong family unit, that these babies are mine, and that I love them like my own children!” I clench my jaw at the harshness of his words.
“Yes Sam, I do. Your mother placed a curse on your head. It was your hands that made me infertile in the first place, but I do not blame you. I know you were possessed. I could never blame you. But these babies were a gift, and if you can't see them as such, then maybe you should just walk away.”
A loud roll of thunder claps around us shattering a few of the fragile glass art pieces my mother has displayed on marble pedestals. I cringe knowing I've said the wrong thing. My mother and Will burst through the doors, their wings fully emerged, both menacing and graceful wings fluttering behind them as they check on me. Sam's knees grow unsteady as he takes in the full glory of who we are. He falls back to the sofa.
“Nehemiah is ready for him. Do you want to wait here?”
“No, I'll go back to the cottage and feed the twins. He'll need time to process anyway.”
“I'll take him to my home after. He can process away there. Inara's out on a mission,” Will offers.
I storm out of the room before any of them do and take the carriage back to our home. By the time I arrive, my face is red and streaked with tears.
Elijah comes out and helps me down. He holds me tightly in his arms.“I take it things didn't go well.”
“I pushed a little too hard. I gave him the choice to walk away, and he just might take it. Part of me wishes he would. I want so badly just to stay here with you.”
“Come here. I want to show you something. The kiddos are asleep still.” He sits me down on the sofa inside and takes a disk from the shelf.“Emmagen showed me this a while back, and I think you should see it.”
He closes the curtains and plays the disk. It’s a compilation of the future. It looks like scenes from the oracle. Headlines flash that read, World War III Imminent. It shows horrifying events leading up to it. President Roberts Ready to Strike China, one headline reads. A mushroom cloud expands and contracts wiping out New York in a millisecond. Similar scenes flash on the television, one after another. A charred and desolate earth smolders under an ashen sky. A soot covered hand reaches across the dirt clawing for survival. It stops moving, and the life drains from the person. I cringe.
“Stop it. I don't want to see anymore.” Elijah turns off the video.
“I was about to. It only gets worse. Millions starve to death, and even more commit suicide, so they don't have to.” His cobalt eyes are filled with an ocean of love for me mirroring the wedding photo adorning my mother's office.
“I'm going to go through with my part in all of this. Once again, I'm going to give you up for the sake of saving millions. I only said it would be hard. It's always hard.” Elijah rocks into me, nestling my head close to his heart.“We’ve tried and failed so many times to stay apart.”
I hear him sniffle like he's trying not to cry.“We won't have to try so hard this time. I've been ordered off of your guard for good. Elena is taking over.”
“What?” I stand up appalled by my mother's audacity.“Why would she do that to us?”
“It's not her. These orders came from Michael. She tried to change things, but it was no use. Listen, you and I will just get through one day, one week, at a time. We'll have eternity to spend here. I want you to focus on our children, be my hand in raising them. Tell them each and every day how much their daddy loves them. I will check on you all, whenever I can.”
The bottom of my world has been removed, and what little hope I had, just sifted through my fingers like trying to hold onto water. I knew Elijah wouldn't be around to see the babies when we were in public, but I thought he could steal a moment each night to tuck them in or read them a story behind closed doors. Now, they'll never know who he is.
“Just tell me why? Why is it so important that you leave us?”
“Brennen, I've been demoted. I am no longer considered an Elite. You've been kidnapped twice under my watch. We could have lost the babies to the fallen.”
“That wasn't your fault.”
“If you were in his shoes, if you had millions of lives relying on this plan to work, what would you do?”
“I'd enlist someone who wasn't human at all to get the job done. We feel too much. We love too hard.” I say with my emotions speaking in full swing, on my toes as close to his face as I can manage. He takes up my wrist, pulling me even closer. I can feel his own fear and anger growing inside like a raging chemical fire.
“You think, I feel less than you? You think, I’m not dying inside right now? If I could take you and the twins and go on the run, banish myself all over again, don't you think I would? If anything, our kind feel emotion twice as much as humans. We were made to be sensitive, to love, to fight for what's right. We don't know how to do anything half way. Haven't you learned that by now?”
We're both breathing like we sprinted up a mountain. My hand caresses the side of his cheek, anxious to get my fill of his skin one last time before he's gone for good. He closes the gap between our lips. Elijah tries to sweep the pain away with his love. He pours it over me in waves, each one rocking me to the core until he goes still. I break away wondering what's wrong. He smiles knowingly as the babies both break into a whimper that quickly escalates into a cry.
“Welcome to motherhood,” Elijah teases. While I try and get the hang of feeding both babies at the same time, he reads to us. Elara and William seem content to listen to the gentle cadence of Elijah's voice. I try hard not to think about the fact that it's a sound they will soon forget. Instead, I focus on Elara's soft fine hair, spun like gossamer gold. I've never seen a little girl so beautiful. I may be biased, but I think it's because of how beautiful Elijah is. Speaking of which, little William with his silky black hair already looks as if he'll be a clone to Elijah.
After the babies are taken care of and back to sleep, Elijah and I send for Sam. His memories have been returned, and he's ready to see me. We thought having him visit us in the small cottage would make it easier to deal with all of this. He arrives on horseback, and I'm sure the mode of travel pleases him at least. We greet him outside the house. My mother, still in the air, floats down as graceful as a snowflake. I've never seen her fly before. The majesty of it takes my breath
away.
Elijah reaches out to shake Sam's hand. I see the anger pass through his thoughts in that instant, and he rears back and punches Elijah. Elijah dodges the hit.
“Really Sam, we're back to this?”
“You slept with my wife.”
My mother moves between the two of them.
“Samuel Montgomery, violence is never allowed on Amorous,” she says in a motherly tone that has Sam's tail tucked in seconds.
“Technically, you slept with my wife,” Elijah interjects only making matters worse.
“Guys, excuse me, but I have two children to take care of. I don't need two more. What's done is done. Today is the day we all have to move forward.”
“How am I supposed to move forward Brennen? You love him. You chose him from the beginning. The only reason you married me is because you were threatened by that Malphas guy. And now you want me to play the part of your husband just so you can keep up public appearances. I'm done with being your doormat.”
“Mother, Elijah, give us a moment,” I intercede.
“No Bren, I'm done talking to you. I don't want you to use your mind altering powers on me.”
Elijah and my mother slip inside the house. Sam walks over to where one of the horses is grazing nearby. He runs his hands along the animal’s powerful neck. I ease my hand over his shoulder, and he lets out a long sigh.
“Sam, I don't have any fight left in me. I know what I'm asking for is a lot. But it's not just for appearances.” I tell him about the future.“If I'm not elected president, millions will die.” I had Elijah upload the video to my phone, so I play it for him. He makes it through all the way, and then he sinks to the ground leaning against a sycamore tree.
“When I came back to you before, I was very much in love with Elijah, but you are so easy to love Sam. I married you because I loved you. I didn't have to. Malphas was captured. If I had wanted to, I could have left you then, before the wedding, but I honestly loved you. I'm sorry things happened the way they did, but if they didn't, then I wouldn't have Elara and William. You wouldn't get to be a father. You had talked about wanting to adopt before. I’m asking you to adopt them. Do you think you could grow to love them Sam–like they were your own?”
“Of course I could love them as my own Brennen, but I can't compete with their own father. I wouldn't want to– who is a real live angel, I might add. Shit, what am I saying? I married an angel. This is just beyond anything I've ever seen.”
“Sam...” I lose it. My voice goes out as a lump forms in my throat. I blindly wipe away the tears that escape and take a deep breath.“Elijah's been reassigned. He's not going to be protecting me anymore. He won't get to see his own children grow up.”
“Can't you two meet up here so he can see the twins? He can visit between assignments.”
“Perhaps, but it would only confuse them if they grew up with only glimpses of their father. If you do this, you will be their father until they're old enough to know the truth.” The words leave my mouth like I had to chew them out. I hate this. I hate that both Elijah and Sam are being put in this situation.
“I just don't know Brennen. You’re obviously still in love with Elijah.”
“I've given him up before. It will be hard on me, but I have to do it again. I can't let that future of horror happen just because I'm in love. It will take time Sam, but we can recover from this.”
Sam turns his back on me and examines the world around him. As if on cue, the wonders of Amorous come alive around us. A fuchsia colored bird pecks the ground near us looking like some kind of punk rocker chicken. A nearby branch rustles, and I look closely to find a stunning ocelot stretched out across the limb. Then out of nowhere, Brutus bounds up to us, nearly knocking Sam to the ground.
“Hey boy, so this is where you've been? How is he still alive?” Sam raises his head up to me. His deep amber eyes fill with wonder.
“Three days on Amorous equals one night at home, so he hasn't aged much. The dog is just starting to gray on his muzzle.”
“You've had this whole other life all these years. It must have been so hard not to share your secret with me. This is why you were the cure. Wasn't it? Because you’re not fully human.” We share a seat on what's left of a fallen tree.
“Yes. Do you remember the night I told you the truth about what your mother did?”
“Yes, I remember everything now. It’s strange. I can't believe how naive I was. I can't believe I attacked you more than once, and yet you took me back both times. Of course I still don't remember when I was...” The full weight of what he did begins to sink in, and he tries to hold back the tears that gloss over his eyes.
“I let Malphas go free so that your mark would be removed, but he exacted his revenge on poor Emily instead.”
Sam seems to be coming around. He’s slowly realizing the forgiveness streak runs both ways. This world has shaken us up and dumped us out on our heads too many times for us not to stick together.
“I'm sorry Brennen. Here I am acting like a selfish asshole when all this time you've had to make some very hard decisions in your life. You've had to suffer the consequences alone. It must have killed you to have to lie to me all those years. Look, I'll do this with you. We'll make it work. I owe you my life. I promise to be the best father to Elara and William that I can be, and one day, I hope you can love me again.”
“I still love you Sam. I love both of you, and I’m sorry. Come on. I want you to meet them.” I lead him back to the cottage. Elijah and my mother each have a baby in their arms. Sam walks up to Elijah and offers a heartfelt apology along with a handshake. I can tell Elijah is feeling the panic of our pending departure. It ebbs through my veins making my own angst worsen. My mother looks sad enough for both of us, but she puts on a smile on for Elara who's got her grass green eyes locked on her face. The newborn reaches up and places a tiny palm on my mother’s cheek. My mother closes her eyes and revels in the tiny touch.
“You look just like your mother at this age,” she says full of pride. I take a seat on the arm of the chair and lightly run my hand across her shoulders. I know she's reliving the days she had to give me up, much like Elijah has to do in a little while.
“Elijah, I want you to know that I will love them as if they are my own. I hope you can be a part of their life in some way, and you're always welcome in our house.”
Elijah doesn't question the sudden turn around, but Sam's words seem to ease him a little.
“Thank you Sam. I'd like to introduce you to William. He's got a fiery spirit like his mother, but you seem to have a handle on that with her. Teach him to walk in the light like your father taught you.” Elijah places William in Sam's arms. Every ounce of confidence drains from Sam's face, and he quickly takes a seat as if he's holding a glass wire.
“And this petite angel is Elara. She has a heart full of grace like no other on Earth. She'll be the light in a world of darkness and lead the world to seek Him. It will be up to you and Brennen to protect her precious heart from knowing evil exists in the world until her thirteenth birthday. They'll both receive their gifts earlier than you Brennen because they are more angel than human. Although, when this will take place is hard to say.”
“Remember Brennen, our kind is made to love and to feel emotions more powerfully than a human. You’ll have your hands full when they're in their toddler stage.”
“And their teenage years at that,” Elijah adds laughing quietly.
“You just work on getting your Elite status back, so you can be a part of their lives.”
He nods, and he and my mother share a glance, some unspoken communication that leaves me worried that Elijah will never be back in our lives, not on Earth anyway. We spend the rest of the day as one big family. A few of our friends stop by to see the babies. Jesson and Elena, Will and Inara. They promise to visit us frequently and be honorary aunts and uncles. After they've leave, another knock at the door surprises me.
My father walks through the door, and as
I wrap my arms around his neck, I see he is hiding Emily and Grandma behind him.“Oh my goodness, are you kidding me?” I bowl Emily over with a hug so tight I crush the air out of her. I repeat the mauling on my grandmother.
“Well, what do we have here?” Grandma burst out with her boisterous southern accent filling the small home.“Let me see my great grandbabies.” She strides right past me in search of the twins like she never missed a beat.
“Bren, let me just say that your dad is a riot. I have to sit next to him at dinner just so he can tell me all of your stories.” Emily laughs, and it like music to my ears.
“It's so good to see you again.” I hug her once more.“I wish you were back home with us. I miss you so much Em’s”
“Hey now, it's alright. I miss you too, but I am perfectly happy where I’m at. Heaven is... Well, one day you'll see. It's so amazing. There aren't words to justify its beauty. Please stop blaming yourself. You couldn't have known.” She beams a smile my way, and I must admit that she looks pretty darn happy for someone who died when she was barely nineteen years old.“I'd better get my baby fix before your grandmother runs away with them.”
She strides off across the room plucking William from the bassinet.
“Dad, I would like you to meet my husband, Sam.” I try not to cringe when I realize the misstep in words I just let fall out of my mouth, not to mention my baby daddy issues.
“It's an honor sir.” They exchange a sturdy hand shake.
“We've met before, only I think you were unconscious. You look much better on your feet.”
I shake my head at my dad's strange sense of humor. He hasn't changed a bit. It finally begins to trickle down, the feeling of being so blessed by who I am. I used to think my life was cursed, that I would never know what normal was. But as I take in my family, all of my loved ones smiling and laughing in this room, in a place so breath taking words cannot measure its glory, I know that my life could not have been any more spectacular.
Elijah's tiny cottage is filled to capacity. It's bittersweet knowing that in a little while this place will be empty, and we will all be right back in our normal daily routines. Sam and I will have to carve a path, and it won't be easy. But I think we will find a way to be happy with this life that's been plopped in our laps like a giant beach ball. We can chose to have the time of our lives or destroy it with the grief and pain it took to get us here.
My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) Page 21
