by Lucia Franco
With that being said, in this moment, I could fully understand why some of those forbidden relationships were acted upon. This was completely and utterly enthralling. Nothing was forced. It was a craving woven with lust, a newfound hunger clawing inside.
“You are done for the day,” he abruptly said in a broken whisper. As Kova stood, something hard dragged up the inside of my thigh. He placed a hand out to help me up and I hissed as my skin made contact with his. I’d forgotten I had rips the entire time I was with him. He turned my hand over and inspected them, his thumb delicately running in circles on my palm.
“Sorry about these.” Then he turned his back to me and left, leaving me speechless.
It was then I realized Kova had a really long and hard erection.
Two things I was sure about.
One: Hayden was right about treating my hands properly.
Two: There was something mentally wrong with my coach.
I paced my condo, wearing out my carpet while I waited for Hayden to show up again. He’d be here any minute to help me out.
Today had been awful, the pain, unbearable at one point. So crippling, it nearly brought me to tears, but I sucked it up and refused to give them to him. I guess Kova thought I was in dire need of training because we spent hours together. Him screaming at all the little things I did wrong had me wanting to throw a block of chalk at his head. I had tutoring between gym sessions that gave my hands a little break, but it wasn’t enough. They needed days to heal.
After changing a few things up in my routine, Kova made me repeat it until I couldn’t get it wrong. Every single skill, he had a conditioning technique for. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good thing, but it can also become tedious, and quite frankly, fucking annoying at times. He was on top of everything I did, breathing down my neck, ready to attack. More so than usual. He reminded me of a gnat that just wouldn’t go away. Always in my ear, always making sounds. I’d banged my shins, jammed my toes on the bars, and even lost my grip due to exhaustion and fell on my hips. The bar had caught me, not the floor. There was only so much one could handle after hours of relentless coaching.
It wasn’t long after the change in my routine that my rips got caught and the skin tore back. Sometimes when the pain is so severe, you don’t feel the injury, and that’s exactly what happened to me. I was chalking up, too focused on Coach explaining something, when he paused and pointed it out. I looked down at my bloody hands covered in chalk and shrugged. There wasn’t much else I could do at that point. I couldn’t very well beg for mercy and ask to move to beam where my hands could get a little break. Although, I’m sure he would’ve loved that.
And as much as I hated to admit it, the outcome had been rewarding. I knew I had nailed my routine near the end, and the slight smile on his face confirmed it. He was proud of me, though he struggled with the words. Like every man in the world did.
My hands had gone through the stages of hell, from feeling like I had dipped them into a fiery red ant pile, to being completely numb. I had managed to block the pain and push through it and not complain, and I think that bought me some points in his book. At least I hoped it had.
I was sure Coach Kova thrived on the tears of young hopefuls, it was the only thing I could come up with at this point. He was a raging lunatic when he wanted to be.
But surprisingly, he could be rather tender too...
I could still feel his hands on me, the whisper of breath that rolled across my cheek, the way his erection glided up my thigh. I couldn’t get the image out of my head. He’d been on my mind since our private session, and astonishingly for the first time, I actually looked forward to another one. Kova opened up and showed me a different side of him, one I was curious to learn more about. A side that made him human, one that had a heart.
A knock at the door shook me from my thoughts, and I ran toward it. Hayden stood on the threshold with another pharmacy bag.
“You know, I’m gonna have to start charging an in-house doctor fee.”
I laughed, welcoming him in. “Bill me.”
“So are you regretting not listening to me?”
“Do you think it would have made a difference in the end?” I held up my palms to him. Hayden grimaced, shaking his head.
“Honestly, I’m not so sure.”
He placed the plastic bag on the counter and then walked over to me. Taking one of my hands into his, he used his thumb to feel around my palms. Aside from the actual blisters, my skin had rolled up and peeled in various places. Those weren’t too bad, they were manageable. It was tender behind my knuckles, so that always tore first and caused the most pain.
“We should probably do this in the bathroom, or over the kitchen sink. It’s going to get messy.”
My heart dropped, fear exploded through me of what was soon going to take place. Before he began, Hayden pulled out a small steel container from his duffle bag.
“But first, you’re going to need this.”
“What is it?”
“A flask of vodka.”
I frowned. “I can’t drink all that. I’ll get sick.”
He was amused. “Not all of it, of course you’ll get sick. Only a shot or two to help take the edge off. Have you ever had vodka before?”
A tremor worked through me at the memory. “Yeah, once with my best friend, Avery. Let’s just say it didn’t go over well.”
Hayden walked through my kitchen and looked through my cabinets as if it was a completely natural thing for him to do.
“You look good,” I admitted, slamming my mouth shut.
Hayden glanced over his shoulder with a saccharine smile I’d come to really like seeing. He wore a dark pair of distressed jeans, molded to his butt and thighs, and a solid white shirt that accentuated his biceps. At just seventeen, he was jacked and looked better than any other guy his age.
“Not too bad yourself.” I glanced down at my rolled up shorts and flannel, button-down shirt. My long auburn hair was braided loosely to the side with little pieces sticking out and I was makeup free. I looked ready for a hayride.
I walked over to Hayden and watched as he poured two small drinks. “This shouldn’t really hit you hard, but it should help.”
“Where did you get it from?”
“Snatched it before my mom packed up. She won’t even notice it’s missing”.
“Why are you having it, too?”
“To help with what I’m going to do to you.”
“Oh...” I frowned.
He handed me a glass and asked, “Ready?”
I took a deep breath. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” Then we clinked glasses and tipped them back quickly. I wasn’t a fan of vodka, or any other liquor, so I swallowed fast and cringed, shivering hard.
“Gross.” I made a disgusted face and Hayden laughed. “Do you drink often?”
He looked at me like I was dense. “No, Aid, how could I with training?”
I shrugged. “Well, I don’t know! I’m just asking.”
“No, hardly ever. Only when the time calls for it. Go ahead and wash your hands so we can get started.” I did as Hayden requested while he rummaged through his stuff.
“You think Coach is going to go easy on you tomorrow?”
I turned my battered hands over and said, “I don’t think he has a choice, you know? We worked on bars all day—”
“I know. He doesn’t normally do that. You’d think he was purposely torturing you.”
I paused. “What do you mean?”
Hayden turned around and leaned against the countertop right next to the sink, while I rinsed my hands. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I’ve been training there for years and I’ve never seen him work an entire day on one event, or push someone the way he does you. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a hard-ass coach and can be a real dick when he wants to be, but he grates on you. You’d think since your dad is friends with him he’d go a little easier, you know?”
I thought about what Hayden said and asked, “Do you think i
t’s because I need a lot of work, more than what he’s used to training?”
He shook his head, unsure. “You’re really not that bad off, so I’m not certain what his issue is. Kova wants perfection, to be the best, better than anyone else. We can all appreciate it because it’s what we want ourselves, but sometimes I think he pushes too much...I don’t know. He can easily make people hate him, that’s for sure. He only coaches the rings for my team, so I’m just analyzing from that, I don’t spend as much time with him as you do.”
I stood there, stunned. The only thing I could come up with was, “He must really hate me.”
Hayden chuckled. “He doesn’t hate you. Has he put you on a special diet yet?”
I eyed him wearily. “No? Do I need to be on one?”
“No, but his diets are ridiculous and we all swear when he reaches the diet level, it means he secretly despises you. Or so we all think. Don’t reach that level. He’s only been that way with a few and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty.”
Hayden was giving me anxiety. “What do you mean?”
“He follows this insane paleo related diet that only lets you consume under a thousand calories a day. With our workouts and the calories and fat we burn, you know we need more than that, or else it isn’t healthy.”
No, it’s not. “Well, it can’t be much worse than the diet my mom has imposed on me, so I’m sure I’d be fine.” I paused. “Who has he been like that with?”
“Reagan and a few others who aren’t here anymore.”
My jaw dropped. “You’re kidding.”
He shook his head. “I wish I was.”
“But Reagan’s so good.”
“Now she’s his golden gymnast. He only had to build her to his level of perfection.” He looked at me with raised brows. “And so were the others. Some went on to compete at Division One colleges, some even went to the Karolyi camp in Texas. I’m telling you, he’s a mean bastard, but he gets results. Don’t give up or take it to heart.”
I exhaled, releasing an envious breath over this news of Reagan. He knew my mom had me on a diet where my meals were delivered, so maybe I was already at that level since there was nothing left for him to do.
Feeling the vodka course through my veins just a little bit, I said, “Let’s get this over with.”
Hayden and I walked to my bathroom. He flipped on the lights and placed everything on the counter, pulling out the pumice stone, needles, a lighter, and hydrogen peroxide. I groaned when he sterilized the needle and wanted to cry at the sight of the brown bottle.
He filled the sink up with warm water and I soaked my hands for a few minutes to soften them up. Aside from the rips, I also had calluses on the backs of my fingers and middle of my palms, which were now raised and white, easy to find due to soaking.
Hayden took one of my hands into his and looked into my eyes before snipping the dead skin away. Then he took a dull butter knife, placed it at a ninety degree angle, and very gently shaved off the calluses. Little white flakes pooled in my palms. This part hadn’t hurt, but my heart began to throb and panic battered through me. I didn’t want to do the next step. My knees trembled and I thought I’d be sick. With the fear so high, maybe another shot of vodka would’ve helped.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Adrianna.”
I nodded and stepped closer to him. With the pumice stone in one hand, he held it above my palm and gripped my wrist tight so I couldn’t pull away.
“I’m just going to file down the calluses and scrub around the rips.” Tight lipped, I nodded. “Close your eyes.”
The moment the stone hit my hand, my fingers retracted and curled up. Hayden forcefully held my hand open. He scrubbed each finger, filing down the calluses and then feeling for smoothness. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel good either. Moving on to my palm, he used the stone for the rough skin around my rips. He accidently nicked a corner, apologizing profusely. I gripped Hayden’s arm with my other hand, my nails dug into him as I gasped loudly, and my eyes squeezed shut as he began to scrub.
The pain.
The throbbing, pulsing, pain.
Heat seared my palm and went straight through my skin, hitting muscles and nerves as it radiated out the back of my hand, only to repeat, continuing on an endless loop. He was cautious not to hit an open rip, he knew better, but he did a few times.
Hayden scrubbed back and forth, pressing down so roughly I thought he would hit my bones. I instantly became nauseous and worried I’d throw up. I tried to focus on the scent of Hayden’s cologne. The beach. Avery. Nothing helped. It hurt so much!
“Oh my God! Please stop for a minute!” I shouted and he jumped. Opening my eyes, my stark white bathroom sink had crimson water running toward the drain and blood splatter that speckled the sides. With Hayden pressing down, blood automatically pushed through my rips. I couldn’t see my palm, blood completely coated my hand.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream in your ear,” I panted.
“It’s okay. I’m just sorry I have to do this to you.”
I swallowed hard, shaking with a pain so unbearable I couldn’t find words. This was agony. Teardrops rested on my eyelids, but I refused to let them fall. After this, I’d make damn sure to never grip the bar wrong again.
“Here,” Hayden said, seeing my eyes. “Try this. Stand behind me, wrap your other arm around my waist and squeeze me when it gets bad.”
I nodded and did as he suggested. If I wasn’t so consumed by pain, I would’ve noticed how nice it was to be pressed against his backside, or how well our bodies fit together.
My arm went around his stomach and I held him lightly, leaning my head against his back. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled. Maybe if I focused on his body, it wouldn’t be as bad.
Who was I kidding? When he picked back up, I pressed into Hayden so hard, I felt his feet shift from my weight. I squeezed, holding him to me while I dug my head between his shoulder blades. I used every ounce of strength I had and held on for dear life. I didn’t care that my boobs smashed into his back, or how my hips rolled against his ass and molded to him in a bit of a sexual way. The shots of pain were so awful, I bit him. I rose up on my toes and sank my teeth into his bicep. In some odd way, it helped.
“Almost done with this hand,” he said over the running water, ignoring my bite. I leaned into him when he placed my hand under the warm water, removing the blood and feeling for the dead skin. Unconsciously, I squeezed him tighter, ringing his shirt in my fist, using him for strength because I knew what came next.
Hydrogen peroxide.
When I heard the cap flip, I gripped Hayden’s stomach so hard I felt him flinch under me. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I didn’t think I’d make it much longer before I passed out.
“How’s it going with your private sessions with Kova?”
“Wh...What?”
More scrubbing. “Think about the question, Aid, not the pain.”
“The question...What was the question?”
His back vibrated with a chuckle. “How are your private sessions going?”
“Ah, going well I guess...” I struggled for breath. “Not as bad or as weird as I expected.”
“I take it you found something to talk about?”
I gripped his shirt tighter as he rinsed my hand. “We did...” I didn’t want to go into detail about the conversation I’d had with Kova. It was private and I had a notion he didn’t tell very many people, so I said, “As much as I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Hayden, I can’t think straight right now.”
“Take a deep breath.”
The cool liquid poured over my hand and I inhaled loudly, throwing my head back. White-hot pain shot through me and I almost blacked out. Tears coated my eyelashes but they didn’t stream down my cheeks, and I clenched my teeth so hard I was sure I was seconds away from chipping one.
“Hayden, please,” I begged. My hand shook violently under his hold. My fingers tried to curl up again, but Hayden held them open
as he rubbed around the rips.
“Shhh...It’s all right. We’re almost done,” he said apologetically. Hayden rinsed my hand again and plucked off any dead skin he missed with the nail clippers.
“I think I need another shot...Or an entire bottle. Make that two bottles before you do the other hand.”
He laughed, his back vibrating against my cheek. “I’m pretty sure you’d die if you drank two bottles of vodka.”
“I’ll take my chances. It can’t be worse than this.”
Shutting the water off, Hayden turned around and I stepped away from him. My jaw dropped when I looked at my trembling hand. It looked like raw meat.
“We need to let it air dry before we put anything over it for the night,” Hayden instructed.
“Do you think that’s a good idea? To put stuff over it? Shouldn’t I cover it during the day and let it breathe at night?” He looked at me like I should know the answer. “I’ve never done this before, Hayden, so I have no idea what to do.”
Hayden’s eyes softened. Using the pad of his thumb, he wiped away one lone tear. “Don’t cry,” he said sympathetically. The gesture was sweet and for some reason made me tear up even more. My jaw quivered and my chin dropped to my chest. I hated this, this pain, these emotions, this sport. I hated it all and wished it would go away. There was no way I could go through something like this again. If Kova made me do any kind of bar work tomorrow or in the next few days, I would straight up murder him.
Hayden pulled me into a hug. Cradling my hand to my chest, I leaned into him and let the tears fall. Screw fighting it. This kind of torture would bring a grown man to his knees.
Exhaustion suddenly consumed me and I let out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry for crying.”
He rubbed my back in circles and his hips dropped to the counter to sit. “Want to know a secret?”
“You seem to have a lot of secrets, Hayden.”
He laughed. “The first time I had rips this bad, my mom had to take care of them the way I just did for you. I cried. Like a little, fucking baby, I cried and sobbed into her hard and she had to hold me afterward. It was embarrassing and I never forgot it. Since then, I’ve made sure to do everything humanly possible to avoid rips to this capacity ever again. I know it’s inevitable, but I do try and I know you will too from here on out. I’ll help you and show you what to do to toughen your skin up a bit more. Once your palms heal and new skin grows over, you’ll need to pumice them every day. I feel your pain, Adrianna. I do, babe. And I’m sorry I had to cause you more.”
