by Lucia Franco
“Is anyone else a virgin?” Reagan asked the group.
Everyone answered at the same time, so the only one to know who was still a virgin was myself.
“Are you a virgin?” I asked Reagan.
“No,” she responded, and I was actually surprised by her answer.
“I guess there really is a person out there for everyone,” I quipped. Avery sputtered her soda as she laughed and leaned her weight on me.
Reagan’s brows angled toward each other, infused with anger and spite. “Ava.”
Avery snapped her head over to Reagan and glared at her. “It’s Avery.”
“Same thing. Truth or Dare.”
I chuckled to myself. Avery wasn’t afraid of much. “Dare.”
A wicked smile spread across her face. “I dare you to make out with Hayden,” she said, proud of her dare.
I looked over at Hayden and his eyebrows nearly popped off his head.
I knew what Reagan was doing. She was trying to hurt me. But what she didn’t know was having Avery kiss Hayden wouldn’t hurt me in the least. I considered Hayden a really great friend and nothing more. Though, it was clearly obvious she didn’t see that.
Before anyone could say anything, Avery jumped to her feet and crossed over me to Hayden. She dropped her knees to the sand in front of him, whose blue eyes were filled with shock as he sat motionless. I knew from experience he wasn’t a prude, or a virgin, yet he sat stone-faced still.
Avery didn’t hesitate and grabbed Hayden’s cheeks, pulling his face to hers. Just before she pressed her lips to his, he glanced my way for consent. I knew he was being nice so I smiled in return. Knowing Avery, she was going to put on a show just to piss Reagan off.
His eyes stayed on mine for another second or two longer until they closed shut and he kissed her back. I watched, along with the rest of the group, in silence as the dare went on a little longer than we all expected. Avery climbed onto Hayden’s lap, his eyes stayed shut as his brows lifted high on his forehead again. He wrapped an arm around her lower back and threaded the other through her windblown hair and kissed her the way he once kissed me. With passion and intensity.
Someone cleared their throat and the kiss abruptly broke apart. Hayden’s lips were flushed and swollen, his eyes wide as Avery climbed off him and resumed her seat next to me, like she didn’t have a care in the world.
I shifted my eyes over to Reagan and took joy in her expression. She was seething over her dare backfiring on her.
I smiled from ear to ear.
“All right,” Avery said, rubbing her hands together. “Who’s my next victim?”
“Adrianna, come here,” Kova said, gesturing me over with two fingers. I’d been at practice for three hours now working on bars. Only another hour or so before I could break for lunch and I couldn’t wait. I was waterlogged from the beach yesterday, so any break I got was essential.
“Yes?”
He lifted my hand to his face and scowled. “I cannot stand the sight of your wrists. Go in my office and in my desk drawer, there are a pair of wristbands for you.” He looked square in my eyes. “Wear them.”
I flattened my lips and nodded. Kova had a way of making something so small feel like such a big issue. My wrists were fine.
“Hey, Ave,” I said, smiling from ear to ear as I stepped into the cold lobby. She had slept over and came to watch my practice before she had to drive back to Palm Beach. Having her around for the past twenty-four hours had been really good and I was going to miss her dearly when she left.
“What are you doing?” she asked, sitting in a folded metal chair, her cell phone in one hand.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes, holding up my wrists. “Apparently this bothers my coach.”
She looked at me, perplexed. “Your hands?”
“The sight of your wrists offends me greatly,” I said in my best manly Russian inflection. Avery sat motionless for a moment until she erupted with laughter.
“Are you serious?” she asked, grinning.
I raised my brows, nodding. “He doesn’t like how I wrap my wrists and has new wristbands for me. I just need to grab them real quick.”
Her brows scrunched together, her chocolate eyes zoning in. “Fish lips has new gym gear for you? He bought them?”
I laughed, shushing her with a finger pressed to my lips. “Don’t say that too loud,” I whispered.
Avery looked around the bare lobby. “Stop being paranoid, no one else is here. Would you rather I say Coach Kissable instead?” She looked over her shoulder and through the glass at Kova, who was making his way across the gym. “In person, he really does have some nice lips, not to mention, a seriously rocking body. I could almost see his muscles. But does he always look like he’s mad at life?”
I glanced in her direction, locking eyes with Kova. “For the most part. How long will you be here for?”
She looked at the time on her phone. “Not much long—”
“Come on, Ria. You are on a roll and I do not want to break it.” Kova barged into the lobby, cutting off Avery. Surprisingly, he wasn’t mean about it, and his unexpected compliment rendered me speechless. Kova rarely remarked positively on my practice, but I noticed he’d been doing it more and more lately.
The sound of a chair sliding across the floor broke my slacked jaw stare.
“Hi,” Avery said, walking over to Kova with her hand outstretched. “I’m Avery, Adrianna’s friend from back home.”
Kova shook her hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Avery.”
“Likewise,” she responded. “I was just telling Ria here how impressive your gym is compared to the one back home she used to train at.”
Ria. The voices faded away, leaving me falling into a black hole. She gave nothing away in her expression, but I knew what that one sentence meant. The beat of my heart thumped wildly in my ears as one word played on repeat in my head.
Ria.
All I could process was how I’d once told Avery my library “crush” was the only one who called me Ria.
Subconsciously, I knew Avery would never utter a word to anyone, but that wasn’t the issue. There were so many problems at the moment I couldn’t think straight on which one to tackle first.
I wasn’t sure how much time passed when I heard Avery mention how she calls me Ria. Dear God. I was going to be sick.
“Nice to meet you, Coach,” Avery ended with a megawatt smile.
“Same to you.” Turning to me, Kova said, “I have to get something from my car. Grab the wristbands and meet me back in the gym quickly.” I nodded blindly as he walked out the front door.
Lifting my apprehensive eyes to Avery’s, I prepared for the worst, but I came face-to-face with a Cheshire grin instead.
“You got some ‘splainin’ to do,” she said in her best Ricky Ricardo voice. It was terrible.
“Avery.”
She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Shh,” she lowered her voice. “Say no more. Your secret is safe with me. But you can bet I’m going to wait until you break for lunch so we can talk.”
I gave her a thankful smile.
“Just one question,” she said.
My eyes widened. “Yeah?”
“You couldn’t go for that cutie, Hayden? You had to go for him? Are you trying to get your ass kicked in?”
A low chuckled escaped me and Avery laughed too. “It just happened.”
She hitched her thumb over her shoulder and gave me a blank stare. “That does not just happen. Hayden happens. Not fish lips.”
I pursed my lips together, feigning a smile.
Avery’s face fell. “Oh, God. What are you hiding?”
“Hayden may have kinda happened.”
Her eyes grew wide and she playfully backhanded my arm. “You have some serious ‘splainin’ to do now!”
The sound of a deep voice caused us both to look over our shoulders at the window. Kova was outside pacing back and forth on his cell phone. He stared at the sky
“I better get back to work. He can be a real dick when he wants to.”
Avery nodded and sat back down. “Go.”
Walking toward Kova’s office, I opened the door and made my way around his cherry wood desk.
Sliding out the center drawer, I fished around for the wristbands, moving pens and paperclips from side to side. I checked the drawer to the left and repeated my steps, but found nothing. Moving on, I opened another drawer, but something stopped it from opening completely. Bending down, I got eye level with the drawer and stuck my hand inside, trying to move whatever was in the way and pulled it open, shuffling things around the deep drawer looking for the wristbands. His drawer was a disaster and in dire need of organizing.
A lightly crumpled piece of paper caught my attention and I could see my name scribbled on it in thick, black marker. I debated whether I wanted to open it or not. I slowly stood with my back straight and the paper balled in my hand.
I mean, it wasn’t my business, but curiosity got the best of me.
My Dearest Ria,
I find myself thinking of you more so than ever, knowing full well that it is beyond immoral.
Most days I am not sure what to do with myself. I am sick, angry, and most of all guilt ridden for wanting you in ways I should not. I hate myself for it. I am disgusted by it, and I know that it is wrong on so many levels. There should not be a fire that simmers within me every time my fingers grip your body in an effort to train you. Appalled over my thoughts does not even scratch the surface.
I have tried desperately to stay busy, to not look in your direction when you are working with another coach, but I have failed miserably. You are always there—on my mind, in my view.
But the worst part of all? Some days I do not give a shit that it is wrong. Some days I allow my thoughts to wander off and pretend that you are really not underage. Because I have seen the way you look at me, I feel it in the touch of your hand on my body. I know deep down you want me just as badly as I want you. My body comes to life with a craving so unfathomable at the wishful thought of your innocent tongue caressing my skin, your timid hands roaming my body. You have created a profound ache I cannot seem to sate. Your iridescent, green eyes captivate me. Your drive to never give up, no matter how much I push you down, inspires me. You thrill me, Ria. You make me want so much, to take a chance and see what happens. Something as little as a conversation with you makes me forget our situation.
It would be the sweetest sin to have you just once. But a kiss would lead to another, and another, and then my hands will roam your perfect, youthful body.
Just like it has already. And I am afraid I will not be able to stop myself next time. I want to feel your lips pressed to mine, your naked flesh on me. Our heat infused sex saturating the air as I take your tight body. This does not even touch on the things I feel, and want, to do to you, all the while knowing it is so wrong. Morally wrong. Improper. Not to mention, forbiddingly against the rules. And law.
Jesus Christ, you mess with my head whenever you are near. You, my sweet Adrianna, are pure temptation. I know I should not want you. I should not even be thinking of you in this capacity, but I seem to have no self-control when it comes to you.
Oh, but the repercussions would be so worth it. I would even let you set the pace. At first.
See what I mean, malysh? I am all over the place, I cannot think straight. And if I do not release this need pulsing inside me, who knows what will happen.
I hate that I think of you in this way, that you do this to me. It is not ethical. I am a man who can only take so much and I hoped getting my thoughts out on paper would help deal with the situation.
I wish I could give you this letter so you could see the inner turmoil I am harassed with on a daily basis, but I cannot take the chance. I could lose everything if someone found out.
For now, Katja will have to do. But I am not sure how long I can suppress this need I have for you.
K
Oh.
My.
God.
What the hell did I just read?
Finding this letter was the last thing I expected in a million years. Bewilderment clouded my head as I stood in utter shock staring at the piece of paper between my trembling fingers. Coach Kova had these thoughts of me, and Katja had to curb his needs. The same thoughts I had of him nearly every single day.
Okay, not exactly the same, but similar ones.
Holy fuck.
Kova had deep seeded feelings for me and a state of want only he could fathom, because right now, it was blowing my mind trying to comprehend just how far it went. But the thought of Katja being the one to receive these deep desires didn’t sit well with me. Jealously sprouted inside like a tree with roots growing in slow motion. It slithered around my nerves and squeezed my chest tight.
With shaking hands, I returned to searching through the rest of the drawer for the wristbands. I stood up and looked around, thinking maybe they were on the floor or a shelf, but again, I found nothing.
Expelling a thick breath, I walked back into the gym with my eyes trained on the floor and the letter folded tightly in my hand. I didn’t want to make it obvious there was something wrong, but I couldn’t make eye contact after his secret confession.
I clenched the paper tighter in my hand, frustrated by the fact that he couldn’t say these words to my face. He had to write his feelings on paper where anyone could find it. We’d been open and honest and forthcoming with each other numerous times, it’s what our connection built on from the start. At least I assumed it had.
Christ. The letter was profoundly personal. But why he left it in his desk at the risk of someone finding it puzzled me. The only logical reason for keeping it here would be due to him and Katja living together and he didn’t want to get caught. Still, that wasn’t enough in my eyes. The last thing I wanted was to be questioned about my inappropriate relationship with my coach. I wasn’t sure how many people went into his office on a daily basis, but if anyone had found that letter, it would be the end of us. Gymnastics. My life. His life.
Opening the door to the sound of someone landing a tumbling pass on the spring floor, I chewed my lip raw as I headed for Kova. My heart was racing, my skin prickled from anxiety. This was going to be the most awkward conversation in the history of the world.
“Kova?” He looked over at me when I neared. “I couldn’t find the wristbands.”
“Well, then you did not look hard enough because they are there.”
I flushed, feeling nauseous. “Um, I did look hard enough, but one of your drawers was stuck and I…um,” I began to stammer. “I, um…”
“You, um, what, Adrianna? Spit it out.” He mocked, running his hands in circles telling me to hurry up. He turned his back to give Sarah his full attention for a moment. Lowering my voice to a whisper, I said, “Something was keeping the drawer from opening. When I was finally able to open it and pull it out, I found this.”
When I held my hand out, he looked down at the white crumpled paper. “I wouldn’t suggest opening it here. You need to get rid of it, burn it, or something, anything.” I watched a confused expression slowly form between his eyes. “Please,” I begged quietly.
At first he didn’t seem to know what it was, then the shock and revelation showed on his face. I looked around, making sure no one could hear our exchange. No one looked our way and if they had, it just appeared like Kova was instructing me on something. His cheeks flushed, but he quickly turned ghostly white and grabbed the paper from my hand, shoving it into his pocket.
“How dare you read this,” he gritted through his teeth.
My jaw dropped. “How dare I? Maybe, I shouldn’t have read it, but I saw my name on it. How dare you leave it in your desk for anyone to find,” I hissed. “You’re lucky I found it and no one else did,” I retorted. Kova looked down at me with an intensity I wasn’t used to. “Please, get rid of it.”
He took a deep breath and glared at me. “You are sure the wristbands were not in the drawer?”
I shook my head, perplexed once again. He was just going to ignore his little love note? “Positive. I couldn’t find them. What are you going to do about this?”
Kova rubbed his jaw with his hand, his eyes distant. “I will take care of this tonight.”
“EXCELLENT JOB TODAY, Ria. I am very pleased with you,” Kova whispered near my ear. He placed his hand on my hip and gave me a tap before walking away. I fought not to look in the direction of his hand and I didn’t pick up my head to acknowledge his comment. All I could do was nod. I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant since the morning practice was just about over, but it was the first thing he’d spoken to me since finding the letter. Unless he was training me, he never openly touched me like this and it made me wonder if he even realized what he’d done.
“What did he say to you?” Avery asked when I strode into the lobby.
Lost in thought over Kova’s praising words and how happy they made me, I stared at my best friend trying to decipher what she said. She was studying my face with a quizzical look then dropped her stare to my chalk covered hands.
“What?” I asked.
“Your coach. What did he say to you just now?”
I continued walking into the locker room and she followed me. “Nothing…that I needed to stick my landing if I want to add another skill to it.” I dropped my bag at my feet and opened my locker door. As I went to pull on my pants, Avery placed a hand on my shoulder.
“I find it hard to believe that’s all he said for you to have had that little smirk on your face.”
My face dropped and my knees shook. Shit. She noticed the grin I thought I concealed. And here I thought I was being slick not looking up. Needing to come up with something quickly, I said the first thing that popped into my head.
“Wouldn’t you be excited to hear you’re allowed to add a half twist to your vault after working on it for so long?” I finished with a knowing smile. I was petrified someone would hear us.
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