Let go, Alis hisses. Don’t fight it.
A sharp pain builds behind my eyes and I can feel my knees go in. That’s a good sign. As long as I still feel things, I exist.
The more you fight, the more it hurts.
She’s not going to take over.
My body.
Pain.
Me.
Isla.
Alis.
Thirteen
Alis
Finally, I have a body again. It’s taken centuries, but now I’m corporeal once more. I stretch my four legs, getting used to that feeling again. It’s been too long. My white paws blend into the snowy landscape, although my black claws ruin the camouflage. I shake my massive head and feel the fur swirl through the air. I need to find a mirror soon to see if I’m still as magnificent as I used to be.
Isla is screaming at me in the background, but I am too excited to care. I’ve got a body, a real body! With fur and paws and a tongue that can lick the snowflakes off the ground. All the sensations, all the-
Isla hits me mentally and I growl.
Stay quiet, it’s my turn now.
She screams curses at me. That girl has some colourful language, I just wish she’d use it more often. She’s too nice, but no wonder with that upbringing. I’ve been watching her ever since she was born, smiling at her first steps, crying at the death of her parents, cursing her uncle whenever he lashed out at her. She’s pushed away a lot of her memories of his abuse, but I’ve watched it all. One day, I’m going to make him pay for what he did to Isla and the other women on the island. My human doesn’t know half of what crimes he committed.
When she ran away, I knew it wasn’t long until I was going to meet her properly. I never doubted that she would survive. They wouldn’t have let me wait for centuries just to let her be killed at the last moment.
She’s a bit immature still, but her heart is in the right place. She’ll do well as my host. As long as she lets me out often enough. I’ve missed the feeling of the ground beneath my feet. I take a tentative step forward and watch in delight when my paw sinks deep into the fresh snow. I know it’s spring now, but the weather has changed a lot. The snow will likely stay for a while.
When I was last walking on Earth, everything was different. The Drowning hadn’t happened yet, people weren’t dependent on technology and bear shifters were plentiful. I lost track of time after my last host died and didn’t watch as the world changed. Only when I was assigned to Isla did I start taking note of all that had changed. I was bound to her and couldn’t see far beyond where she was, but it was enough to notice how there were no bears left living among humans. On their fancy machines, they would talk about wolf shifters, which of course is an idiotic idea. Only bears are strong enough to share their mind with humans. Both of our species are strong-minded and stubborn, two characteristics necessary to be able to form that very special bond.
They told Isla that there are still some bears left in Scandinavia, but knowing my assignment, it’s clear that they won’t survive long. I didn’t lie when I said that I was going to save the world. Just not all of it. Just the bears’ world. Our females are no longer getting enough cubs to keep our population alive. While I was floating in the ether, more and more bears got expelled from their human hosts without warning. Something is wrong and I’m going to have to fix it.
I wish they’d given me some instructions though. It’s hard to fix something if you don’t know what’s broken. I’m going to make Isla read that book the old bears gave her. And talk to both of them. They’ve been around for a while, maybe they know something. And if Torben is correct, then Inchbrach holds some sort of secret that will help us get to the bottom of the problem.
But for now, I’m going to enjoy having a body.
I run through the snow, the wind cold on my face. My strides are getting larger until I’m almost flying. I can feel the other bears join me, but they’re having a hard time catching up. They don’t know it yet, but I’m stronger than any of them. Even Torben. He’s a toddler in my eyes and he’s got nothing on my mate. I get what Isla sees in him though. And as long as he loves her as much as he does, I’m fine with it. He’s a good human and a good bear. Just like any alpha, the two of them are close, almost distinguishable. I wonder if his bear even has a name. There’s a lot of bear in Torben even without being shifted. It’s often like that for alphas. Raoul was the same. But I shouldn’t think of him. He’s lost to me for now and there’s no point in being sad about our separation. I will need to make it clear to the bears that I am taken, though. They can have Isla, but not me.
But looking at their adoration for her, that shouldn’t be a problem. She’s lucky to have found them. I find it hard to believe it was a coincidence.
I become slower until I stop on top of a hill, panting heavily. I have to get used to this again. This new body has more limitations than my old one. Seems bears are not only getting rarer, but also weaker.
The others are finally catching up with me and I turn to welcome them. They are some magnificent males. Torben’s fur is almost entirely white with only a few pale yellow patches on his belly and legs. At first glance, Ràn and Húnn are identical, but I know that despite they are brothers, they had very different upbringings.
There are scars beneath Ràn’s fur that Isla has yet to discover. Not that Húnn is completely undamaged. I can feel his sorrow whenever he looks at Isla. He’s been disappointed before and I’m not sure if he will have the courage to try and get close to her. I hope he does. He’s beautiful with his dark, shiny fur and his big eyes.
Finn is the youngest of the sleuth and the most playful. I’ve not yet been able to see beyond his jovial behaviour, but I’m wondering if there’s more to him than the easy-going boy I’ve seen so far. I hope that there is. Isla needs more than just a player and joker. He’d be too small for me, but luckily he’s average sized as a human.
Torben is the first to approach me. He bows his head when he’s in front of me, and when I nod, he rubs his cheek against mine. I shiver when I notice that this is the first time I’ve been touched in a long time. He walks along my flank and I feel his muscles as he presses against me. We’re exchanging scents; something that’s strictly speaking not necessary, but an ancient ritual back from the days when we were less conscious and more feral.
Satisfied, Torben steps back and I shake my fur, bringing it back into order.
The brothers approach at the same time, walking past me one on each side, their touch surprisingly gentle. I smile inside as it reminds me of these car washing machines I saw Isla explore before the Drowning. It’s like I’m stuck between two giant, furry brushes just now.
Isla chuckles in my mind. Looks like she’s getting used to the idea of being stuck inside, using my eyes to see the world. When she notices that I’m focussing on her, she starts shouting immediately. I smile and ignore her again, turning my gaze to Finn instead.
This time, he’s not as playful as he was earlier. Instead, he walks towards me slowly, almost reverently. I wonder if he realises who I am. None of them should know… yet. I’m going to tell them in a moment, once Finn is done exchanging scents. His fur is the softest of them all and I know now why Isla likes to stroke it. He does a full circle around me, never walking far enough to stop touching me. When he’s done, he rubs his nose against mine in a version of a human hug. I give him a gentle nudge to retreat. He shouldn’t get any wrong ideas.
I lie down in the snow, licking my paws. The four bears are looking at me hesitantly. As the female, I’m the one who needs to initiate communication. First with the alpha, then he can pass on the connection to the rest of his sleuth. But I’m in no hurry. The longer I prolong this, the longer I can stay in my bear form. I know Isla is getting impatient, but she needs to learn how to deal with it. I’ve been in her mind for long enough, now it’s my turn.
Torben exhales loudly and snow blows up from the ground. He’s getting impatient.
I sigh and reach out
with my mind until I find his bear. As I assumed, he’s merged with his human. I shudder. I wouldn’t want to be in such close quarters with my human, as nice as Isla is. I like my own space, much to Raoul’s frustration.
I’m Alis.
I’m Torben.
They share a name. I shudder again. I’m glad I’m not an alpha. Females never are, even if they are more dominant. We live on our own, sometimes sharing our life with an alpha and maybe even the rest of his sleuth, but always staying independent. We’re only loyal to our cubs. I get a little sad at the thought of how I’ve never had cubs of my own. Raoul and I were separated before we ever got that far. It was me who wanted us to wait. Now I regret that immensely. Maybe I should tell Isla to get some, for both of us.
Introduce me to your sleuth, I demand. Torben resists a little but opens a channel to the other bears a moment later. He knows I’m stronger than him, even if he’s having a hard time getting used to the thought. He’s been the most dominant bear for such a long time that it’s a new thing for him.
Well, not my problem.
My lady. My ears twitch. Finn’s bear is more aware than the others, apparently. I smile. Finally I get the devotion I deserve.
What may I call you?
Mahon, my lady. It is an honour to meet you.
You know who I am?
I do. My father used to tell stories of you. When you shifted, I knew immediately that it had to be you. I don’t know of any other bear with eyes like yours. Eyes like starlight, my father used to say. Like the universe is trapped within a woman.
I smile at his flattery. I’m glad that my eyes have stayed the same. I wasn’t a polar bear in my last life, but at least I still have the eyes that made me famous. Raoul wrote poetry about them and his poems were shared widely. But that was long after I had first come to fame. Back then I was known under another name, but that old me is gone. Now I am Alis, the bear with the beautiful eyes. The bear who only comes to Earth occasionally when there's work to be done.
Húnn's bear steps forward and bows.
I am Pelja. I don't know why Mahon calls you lady, but I'm sure he's correct.
I send him a mental smile and he growls in pleasure. These bears are needy and want to be recognised by their new female. They want attention and I will give it to them. Not sexual attention, of course. There's only one male in my life. I've been seduced before and that ended in disaster, so never again. I'll stay true to Raoul.
Ràn's bear is the last one to introduce himself.
I'm Orson, nice to meet you. We've been waiting for some company for ages, so it's great to see our sleuth grow. Even though it was in these unfortunate circumstances. It's good to have someone new around, it's boring to always just be with the other three.
He talks quickly, quite the opposite of his human who almost never says a word. Curious how they can be so different. But that's the beauty of us bear shifters - we are two souls in one body who coexist peacefully. Most of the time, that is. If we don't, at least one of us goes crazy.
Isla is starting to hit me now and I can feel a headache coming on. I need to talk to her about giving the other some space. I let her have sex with Torben undisturbed, so why can't she let me have some fun now?
Isla, be quiet, I hiss at her and to my surprise, she stops. Maybe we can become friends after all? With me being the one who tells her what to do, of course?
I shake my fur again, revelling in the sensation. Beautiful. I hope the boys appreciate the sight of a polar bear female. I'm a magnificent specimen. Not that they are bad looking, but I am certainly the most beautiful. No wonder Zeus fell for me all those years ago.
I kick him out of my thoughts. Let's not bring up those old tales. I'm Alis now, not Callisto. Alis, Isla's bear. Simple.
My stomach growls. Strange how I forgot how it feels to be hungry.
Shall we hunt?
Four thoughts of approval reach me and together, we run off through the snow. I am free, finally free. My body responds to my will and with every step, I feel more alive.
I can feel Isla sitting in the backseat, staring wide eyed as I catch a fish and eat it whole. I don't need picnic baskets delivered, I can provide for myself. Humans are so weak. I don't understand how their species has made it this far.
When I'm sated, I lie down in the snow, slowly becoming tired. Isla is getting stronger and is close to breaking through. She's no longer fighting me consciously, but it's just natural that her mind wants to be back in possession of her body. Not this body, though. She wouldn't know what to do as a polar bear. It would be incredibly painful for her.
I roll from one side to the other, washing my fur in the snow. I can feel the guys' amusement shine through our bond. I'll show them.
I jump up and run towards Torben who just about manages to step out of my way. I go on my hind legs and stretch, presenting my large body to him. I am bigger than him and he better realise it.
I let myself fall back on my front paws and prowl towards him, showing him my sharp teeth. A growl rumbles through my throat. Our eyes lock and I can feel his resistance through our bond. He still believes he's the more dominant bear. He'll be disappointed.
I press my mind into the bond, tearing through his defences. We're not animals, we don't need to fight with our bodies. Our minds are enough to establish our strength.
He's determined, I give him that. He's built some thick walls around his mind but I know all the tricks. I have learned from the best and have had centuries of practice. This pup will soon know his place.
With one last push, I'm in his mind. I resist the urge to look around. I'm not that kind of person; I know he has a right to privacy. All I need to do is show him what I'm capable of.
I retreat, but I can't help getting a whiff of his feelings. I smile when I realise how big his love for Isla really is. Even if they weren't mates, he'd be pursuing her. He's totally enamoured with her, so much that I'm almost jealous.
But I have my own mate, even if he isn't here with me. I let go and snap back into my body. Torben looks confused and shakes his head several times, blinking until he's back in reality. Looks like I was the first to battle him mentally. Should I apologise? No, not my kind of thing.
Now that our ranks are established, I run back towards the house. Isla is almost through the wall separating our minds. A bit more and she'll be thrown into my body. And from past experience I know that it will hurt. At the same time, I don't want her to end up naked in the middle of the island. I care for her enough that I don't want her to have to ride on one of her bears without clothes. Although I'm sure they wouldn't mind, in contrary. Isla isn't aware of how they all adore her. I don't know if she realises they all want more than friendship. I should have a chat with her about bear relationships. Us females are lucky, we choose our partners, unless they're our mates. Some of us take several, some of us switch lovers constantly. The males just have to deal with that.
I come to a halt in front of the cottage, breathing heavily. I'm making a mental note of getting some daily exercise in my bear form. I'd be rubbish in a fight right now. And somehow, I assume that there will be fighting at some point. They wouldn't have sent me here otherwise.
I trained with Artemis, I'm one of the best.
I cough. Okay, I used to be one of the best. But with a bit of training, I'll quickly be back to my old standards.
I knock at the door with my front paw. Arnold opens and looks at me in surprise.
Then he smiles. "I'll get you some clothes and leave them by the door. Don't worry, I'll tell Bertie to stay in the living room with me until you're decent."
I decide that I like him. He's clever and has respect for females. Hopefully I'll get to meet his bear soon. He smells interesting.
Isla, get ready, I'm about to shift.
That's all the warning she gets. Goodbye body, see you soon.
Fourteen
It's like waking up from a shallow, unsatisfying sleep. The kind where you remember tossing arou
nd in your bed, trying to fall asleep, only to realise again and again that you're still awake. The difference is that usually, I don't wake up naked, cold and surrounded by bears.
I have a vague memory of being one of them. A polar bear like Torben, but I don't know exactly what I looked like. I need to ask Alis to seek out a mirror next time we shift. I'm not vain, but I want to know how big polar bear me is. And if I'm pretty. Okay, maybe I am vain.
I get up on all fours - what? Silly Isla. You're human, you don't have paws. And you walk on your legs. On two of them. Hands are not supposed to be on the ground.
Behind me, the bears are growling with laughter and I have to hide a smile myself. I must look hilarious, standing on all fours in the snow. Naked. Why do I always end up like that? But I guess it must be the same for all shifters. I wish shifting with clothes was possible. So much less embarrassing.
I get up and walk into the house - like a human - closing the door behind me. Like promised, a pile of clothes is waiting for me and I gratefully put them on. Such a good feeling to have something covering my bare skin. The guys don't seem to get that. Maybe it's because they grew up as shifters.
I open the front door and close it again immediately. They didn't wait with their shifting. And I'm not sure I wanted to see as much as I just did. I've seen Torben naked before, of course (and in all his glory), but the others...
Bonnie and Clyde are telling me to go out there and look again. And maybe touch a little. But if I do that now, I'll lose my clothes again and... and... and... I'm struggling to find good reasons why I shouldn't go out there. Torben said that bears were used to sharing their females. With the female being the one to choose who she's with. But I don't even know if they're all interested. Torben's my mate, so I know he's mine, and Finn has definitely shown that he wants me just as much as I want him. But the two brothers... maybe they just want friendship? Back at the women's house, where I tried on the dress that led to me and Torben starting the mating bond, they did look like they were interested. Hungry. But who knows if they were only interested in me physically... and that's not enough. I'm not that kind of girl.
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