by Eve Gaddy
“No. But she said you were snakebit.”
Gabe laughed. “That’s pretty apt. I just call it bad luck. I wasn’t a good gambler. But I had another problem. A five-foot-two, dark-haired kind of problem.”
“Ah, a woman.”
He smiled cynically. “You got it.” He picked up the can, leaned back and drank some more.
“Is this the woman you told me you were gone over?”
“That’s her. She was gorgeous. Not just pretty, but drop-dead gorgeous. And young. Sexy little Italian beauty with dark eyes, dark hair and a body that screamed sex. She played me like the biggest, dumbest fish in the ocean. Not that I was much of a challenge. I fell for her. Hard.”
Glancing at her, he added, “Usually the beautiful ones go for my brother, not me. Delilah reminded me of her. I gave Delilah a really hard time when she first came here, because of that. But luckily for Cam, Delilah is nothing like Bella.”
“Bella?”
“Yeah, Bella.” He laughed. “It suited her. Anyway, when Bella let me know she was interested, I jumped right in. Didn’t stop to think about what she’d want with me. Hell, I didn’t stop to think about anything but how hot she was and how lucky I was that she wanted me, too.” He shot her a wry glance. “She wasn’t the type to go for a fisherman. Which I’d have known if I’d been thinking with my head instead of my hormones.”
He set down the can and sighed. “God, I was stupid.”
“No, you weren’t stupid. You just trusted the wrong person.” As she had when she’d trusted her ex-husband to cope with what had happened to her.
He shrugged. “Anyway, I was so crazy in love, I’d have done anything Bella asked. And I did.”
“What did you do?” She put her hand on his knee and patted it in sympathy.
He covered her hand and held it palm-to-palm, resting on his thigh. “You’ve been in Aransas City long enough to know what it’s like. Everyone knows your business. Or thinks they do. So everyone in town knew about my gambling problem.” He smiled cynically. “What they don’t know is that the gambler was Bella. Oh, I gambled, too, but most of it was her. I wasn’t addicted to it, I was just plain dumb. I didn’t wise up until I was so deep in debt I was about to lose my boat.” He looked at her, waiting for her response.
“Sounds like you picked the wrong woman to fall in love with.”
“Yeah. Big-time. Anyway, when I cut off the cash flow, guess what Bella did?”
“Left you.”
“Bingo. Took a hike with my cash and credit cards. Ran up several thousand on them before I could stop her. I couldn’t even claim fraud, since I’d let her sign on them in the first place. Man, that was a mess.”
“Oh, Gabe. I’m sorry.”
He rolled a shoulder. “You live and you learn. I managed to turn things around. Took a while, but I’ve been in the black for a few years now.” He hesitated and added, “Or I was.”
His thumb was making slow circles on her palm. Soothing but at the same time…arousing. She wondered if he realized it. Glancing at him, she decided he knew exactly what he was doing. She tried to get her mind back to what they were talking about, but it wasn’t easy.
“You said everyone thinks you have a gambling problem. I don’t understand. Why do you let them believe that when it’s not true?”
His grin flashed, bright and quick. “Honey, I did have a gambling problem. Her name was Bella.”
“You’d rather people think you have a gambling problem than know—”
He interrupted. “Than know I let a woman make a complete fool out of me? Hell, yes. Anytime.”
She stared at him. “Even your family? They don’t know the truth?”
“Nope.” He shook his head. “Well, I think Cam might suspect, but he doesn’t know for sure. We’ve never talked about it. You’re the only person I’ve ever told.”
“Why did you tell me?”
“I wanted you to know the truth, not the rumor.”
He was gazing at her so intently, his eyes dark, like liquid chocolate, a faint smile on his mouth.
“Why?” It came out as a whisper.
He brought her hand to his lips while he watched her. Kissed her knuckles, turned it over and kissed her palm. “Because you matter to me, Lana. You’re the first woman since then who has.”
She couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know what to say or to do. He was going to kiss her. Really kiss her, and she…she wanted him to.
He smiled at her, let go of her hand and got up. “Come on, I’ll take you home.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
“DO YOU WANT to come in?” Lana asked Gabe when they pulled up in front of her house.
He turned in the seat and looked at her. She couldn’t read his expression. Then he smiled, shook his head, reached out and took her hand. His grasp was solid, warm, reassuring. His hands weren’t soft. A lifetime of hard, physical work took care of that. But they were surprisingly gentle. He didn’t squeeze her hand, he simply held it. But there was something at work here, and the longer he looked at her with that half-smile, the harder it became for her to breathe.
The night was hot, sultry. He’d rolled down the windows before he turned off the engine. The street was deserted, nearly silent but for the whirr of the cicadas and the occasional soft, deep croak of a frog. The moon flitted in and out of the clouds but there was enough light from that and the porch light she’d left burning to let her see his face.
“Gabe?”
“Yeah, I want to come in. But I’m not going to.”
“Why?”
He sighed, let go of her hand and slipped his into her hair. “So soft,” he murmured. “I knew it would be. I’ve been wanting to touch it since the first time I saw you.”
“It’s just hair.” She nearly stuttered. Was he finally, finally, going to kiss her? He ran his fingers through the ends, then put his hand on the back of her neck, buried beneath her hair.
He shook his head and smiled. “More like spun gold. Or silk. There’s something else I’ve wanted to do since the first time I saw you.” Gently, so gently, he tugged her forward. His lips closed over hers in a devastatingly slow kiss. She didn’t think, didn’t analyze, she simply responded. Her lips parted, inviting him in.
There was nothing tentative about his kiss. His lips moved over hers, firm, knowledgeable, setting off little thrills of pleasure as he deepened the kiss and his tongue touched hers. Yet she didn’t feel pressured. She knew, beyond a doubt, that if she asked him to stop, he would.
But she didn’t want to stop him. She wanted this with an intensity that shocked her. To be an ordinary woman, on an ordinary date. Kissing a man she was very attracted to.
She put her arms around his neck and sank her fingers into the dark hair curling at his nape. Leaned into him and gave a tiny moan when his lips left hers and trailed down her neck, pressing heated kisses into her flesh. He tasted her there, at the rapid pulse at the base of her neck, before taking her mouth again in another deep, drugging kiss.
Her heartbeat sped up, her lips and breasts tingled. His hand slid from her hair down her arm and settled at her waist, urging her closer. She tensed, then forced herself to relax. She didn’t think he’d notice, but he did. He lifted his mouth and his hand dropped away, releasing her.
They looked at each other and for the life of her she couldn’t think of a thing to say. Gabe didn’t speak, either. He got out of the truck and came around to her side, opening her door with manners that seemed ingrained. He remained silent as they went up the walk, as she unlocked the door and stepped inside to turn off the alarm.
“You must wonder—I know it seems—” She stopped, not knowing how to explain what she was feeling, thinking. Was she ever going to be able to put her past behind her? Could she have a normal relationship with a man?
Apparently not. This was the first time Gabe had kissed her and she’d blown it by freezing up. And he’d waited a lot longer than most men would have before even trying.
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��You don’t owe me an explanation, Lana. Just relax, okay?” He smiled, brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “I’ll call you,” he said, and left.
But she wondered if he would.
She watched him go, then started her nightly routine. She checked all her doors, checked the alarm, made sure the pepper spray was at her bedside table. Then she changed into her nightgown and got in bed.
She hadn’t imagined the importance of what had happened on the boat. Gabe had told her something he’d never told anyone, not even his brother. And he’d said she mattered to him, as no one had since the woman who’d obviously broken his heart.
He mattered to her, too. For the first time since she’d been brutally raped, she had a sense of hope. That someday she might get beyond her past and move on with her life. And that was because of Gabe.
Could Gabe accept what had happened to her and still want her? She had expected her ex-husband to be able to do that, but the man who had supposedly loved her had never been able to get past the rape and the loss of their unborn child.
They hadn’t had the perfect marriage before that, but she’d thought they would make it. They were both trying. Maybe she’d been trying harder than Terence but he’d also seemed to want the marriage to work. Then she’d been raped and their marriage hadn’t stood a chance. Terence couldn’t get past it.
She remembered the first time they tried to make love after the rape. Months after the attack, when she’d finally become tired of his evasions, she’d decided to seduce him. She’d wanted love and intimacy. A memory to replace the violence. Well, she had another memory now, but it wasn’t one she’d wanted. And it sure as hell hadn’t erased the violence.
Terence couldn’t make love to her. He’d tried, when she insisted. And he’d blamed his failure on Lana. He’d said that if she hadn’t been so cold, so scared, he wouldn’t have failed. She tried to tell herself that Terence’s reaction to the rape was his problem, but deep inside she blamed herself as well as him. She hadn’t been able to relax, to stop worrying about what would happen if she had a flashback while they made love. Well, she’d never gotten the chance to find out.
But if Terence had been more understanding, more patient, more loving, would that have made a difference? What if he’d been more like Gabe?
Could Gabe help her heal those scars? Or would he turn from her if he knew the truth?
Gabe suspected. He wasn’t stupid and she knew she’d given him enough hints.
She should tell him. But right or wrong, she knew she wouldn’t. Not yet. She couldn’t bear for him to turn from her as Terence had. Gabe suspected what had happened to her, but he didn’t know. There was a world of difference between suspecting and knowing the grim details. She wouldn’t take the chance of losing Gabe, not yet. Maybe not ever.
HE DIDN’T CALL. Not that week and not the next one either. The longer she waited, the more she wondered. Why was he avoiding her? Had he lost interest? Was he mad at her? Had he decided she was too much trouble? Worse, maybe he hadn’t been that interested in the first place and she’d just imagined the look in his eyes when he’d said she mattered to him. Imagined him saying he’d wanted to kiss her since he’d first seen her. Imagined that he’d felt something, too, when he did, finally, kiss her.
After a few days of racking her brain about what could have driven him away, she started to get angry. She’d thought they were moving toward something. A relationship of sorts. At the very least, they’d become friends. Friends, with the possibility of being much closer. So why had he suddenly dropped her?
That Friday after work she ran into Cat Kincaid at the dry cleaner’s. Cat dropped her clothes off, then waited until Lana had picked hers up and walked out with her.
“I’m glad I ran into you,” Cat said. “Mark and I have been meaning to ask you and Gabe to dinner. Are you busy Sunday night?”
It caught her by surprise. “You’d better run that by Gabe first.”
“Why? Has he made other plans?”
“I have no idea what Gabe’s plans are.”
Cat frowned. “I thought you two were dating?”
“Apparently not. We went out a couple of times. No big deal.”
Except that it was to her. Gabe was the first person she’d actually dated since those disastrous first few episodes after the divorce, and he’d dropped her without an explanation. Lana opened her car trunk and laid the clothes out before closing it with a little more force than necessary. She wiped a hand across her brow. Five-thirty was the hottest part of the day. Heat radiated up from the asphalt parking lot. No breeze broke the stifling heat.
“So, thanks, Cat, but I’ll have to say no.”
“Wait, don’t go.” Cat laid a hand on her arm. “Let’s go have a drink and talk.”
“I don’t—I can’t—” She stopped, flustered. She really didn’t want to talk to Gabe’s sister. After all, she wasn’t thinking particularly charitable thoughts about him. She wasn’t in the mood to bite her tongue, either.
“Look, just because you and my brother are on the outs, doesn’t mean you and I can’t be friends. Come on, please? Better yet, we’ll have dinner. I’m starved. Or do you have other plans?”
“No. Just Friday night in front of the TV.”
“We can bash him together. I swear, I won’t say one good thing about him.”
Lana smiled reluctantly. “You don’t have to go that far. All right. Where?”
“Since I gather you don’t want to run into Gabe, I guess the Parrot’s out. How about we try the Mexican place on Main Street?”
“I’ll meet you there. But—” She hesitated, torn between wanting to talk to another woman and feeling as if she was imposing. “What about your family? Aren’t they expecting you for dinner?”
“Nope,” she said cheerfully. “The kids are with my mother for the weekend. And Mark is working late, so I’m free as a bird. Tonight, anyway.” She smiled wickedly and added, “Tomorrow I’m going to enjoy a child-free day and night with my husband. Which is why I’d asked you and Gabe to come Sunday night.”
A short time later they were seated in the restaurant with chips and hot sauce in front of them. Cat ordered a margarita and cheese enchiladas, and Lana ordered a Mexican beer and fajitas.
“So,” Cat said after the waiter brought their drinks. “What’s going on with you and Gabe?”
“Nothing.” She took a sip of beer and continued. “We went out a few times and then he stopped calling.” As soon as he’d kissed her and she had frozen, she added silently.
“For no reason?” Cat persisted. “He just stopped calling, out of the blue?”
“More or less.” She was unwilling to go into details, especially with his sister.
“You didn’t have a fight.”
Lana shook her head.
“That’s weird.” Looking perplexed, she picked up her drink and sipped it. “I can only drink half or I won’t be able to drive home. I’m a real lightweight.” She set the glass down and picked up a chip. “I used to tease Gabe that the women he dated had IQs the same as their bra sizes.”
Lana choked on her drink, then laughed. “Ah, I don’t think that describes me.”
“No.” She dipped a chip in hot sauce, then ate it. “Which was why Gail and I were so pleased when you two started going out. And I can tell you one thing, Cam says Gabe’s crazy about you.”
“Cam is obviously behind the times.”
“Do you care?”
“Cat, I—”
“I know, I know,” she interrupted. “I’m his sister, so you feel really uncomfortable bashing him. But it’s okay. If you care about him and he’s being an idiot I want to know why. He seemed happier when you two started going out than he’s been since the accident.”
Lana sighed. She wanted to talk to someone and Cat seemed prepared to listen. “I don’t understand him. We—I thought we were getting along fine.”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
“Ask him?”
“Yeah, ask him what’s wrong. He’ll tell you. Gabe has a big mouth. He’s constitutionally incapable of keeping anything to himself.”
Unless it was important, she thought, remembering the story about Bella. The story he’d told no one but her. “You think I should just go over to his house and ask him.”
“Sure.” Cat picked up her fork and enthusiastically dug into the food the waiter had just set in front of them. “Or you could be subtle. Take him some cookies or something. Believe me, if you feed Gabe cookies he’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Cookies, huh?” Lana smiled. “What kind of cookies?”
CHAPTER NINE
GABE KNEW he was being a jerk. He should have called Lana. But when he’d kissed her the other night, finally held her in his arms and kissed her like he’d wanted to since the first time he’d seen her, everything had crystallized. It didn’t matter how long he’d known her. Didn’t matter that he’d never even kissed her until the other night. No, dammit, none of that mattered. He was centimeters away from falling in love with her.
Which scared the hell out of him. He didn’t want to fall in love with Lana. Didn’t want to be in love with any woman. Not now, when his life was such a train wreck. When he didn’t have a job and didn’t have a clue what he was going to do for the rest of his life.
Besides, he didn’t trust love. The one time he’d really fallen in love with someone, she’d done a tap dance on his heart in stiletto heels. Not that he thought Lana was at all like Bella. She wasn’t a shallow gold digger. No, she was far more dangerous than Bella had ever been. Because she wasn’t a woman he could take lightly.
He should have known he was in trouble the minute he’d started blabbing to her about Bella. He’d lost his mind, that was his problem.
So when he’d gotten home, he’d thought long and hard and decided the only way to handle the problem was to not see Lana anymore. He convinced himself that was what she wanted. She wasn’t sure about him anyway. She’d frozen when he kissed her, for crying out loud. She obviously didn’t want to get involved with him, she’d had to be conned into dating him in the first place. So he didn’t call.
